Spiritual Experience, BB Appendix II
I didn’t have any bright lights or even a minor dizzy spell as a clue that I was now a different person. In fact, I am not as different as I wish for some days! But I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink since August 1, 2009 and I am grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous and the Fellowship for that.
I don’t know when the desire to drink left me, but one day, I was driving down the highway and I suddenly realized that I hadn’t thought about have a drink in quite a while. Since I was on the highway, I had some time to think about it. think about how much time I had in the program (then about 6 months), think about what was working for me and exactly what had changed.
Later, when I read the Big Book, Appendix (pg 567 & 568) and underlined these parts, which ironically come together to describe my daily approach to this way of life! Especially when times are hard and I need to get back to basics!
“.spiritual experience. the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself. experience. of the educational variety. a profound alteration in reaction to life.”
Yup! That is me for sure! Reading on I find out I am not alone! “With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource.” Some say that God resides within us, so perhaps this is what they mean. For me it was the same “inner-most self” talked about in Chapter 3, where I personally took Step 1.
Further, it says “(The alcoholic) can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance and belligerent denial. contempt prior to investigation.”
The reading finishes with, “Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.” (H.O.W.)