Patience and Understanding Succeed Every Time
Patience: Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God/HP line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat.
– Daily Reflections, p. 70
AA Acronym – P A U S E = Patience And Understanding Succeed Every Time
Hi All, Jennifer here, definitely and alkie, and one who must of accidently prayed for patience. I had a tough time picking a topic…it was between Fear, Asking for help or Patience…this one won. I have had to practice a lot of patience lately.
Back when I was using, I prided myself on being a master manipulator!! If I wanted something, I would get it when I wanted it and if I couldn’t I would figure out a way to get it!! I was a master actress and didn’t even know it. Today, I have to be careful of this character defect. My friend in AA and I tease and say that we are “creative” not manipulating…however…if I am not careful, it can go into manipulation and I have to be very vigilant of this. I know I am manipulating when I am not patient about an outcome or a forthcoming thing. When I have “unrealistic expectations…self-pity and/or fatigue of wanting to change my world in a weekend”, or that day for that matter. It is when I try to take over the show….
Recently, I have shared about how I am going through yet another physical set back which then plays on my emotional and spiritual side and can set me back if I am not careful…(talking to my sponsor, working the step I need to for the situation, staying in solution and most of all, turning it over). Patience this last week was going on Doctor’s timeframe not mine. And being patient waiting for the results. It has been a chore for me to be patient enough to wait for my MRI report I will get with my doc tomorrow. She is a stickler for having to go back to her for results, she WILL NOT allow other docs to get the report until she gets it first! Usually, being the good alkie I am, could manipulate the results same day…this time, I had to sit back and wait, and I hate it, but it has been a great lesson on Patience. What I learned is that the results are the results, either way, there is nothing more I can do then what I am doing. Bed rest (which I haven’t been that good at), ice and meds (again, under doing that too), and making appropriate doc follow up appts (which I did do in the event I needed a neurosurgeon). PT I am starting anyway on Tuesday…Asking for help (hard to do but have been reaching out) so, really there is nothing more that I can do…the results are what they will be whether I got them Fri. or Monday.
The second part of the patience thing is I do have unrealistic expectations that my back “should be” better by now. I do have to admit, I go into self pity, some fear that I have gone backward again and not knowing what the future holds. Again, I am reminded to keep it simple…be patient. stop and meditate…read each day from a meditation book or AA lit. and become centered and ask HP to walk with me. “The secret to fulfilling my potential is by acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a treat”… Today, I need and have to acknowledge my limitations and believe that in time….things will get better….solutions will present themselves….I may have to re-arrange my life again, or make adaptations to how I do things, I have had to do this all through sobrietyand what a special gift it is that no matter what, I don’t haave to drink over any of it today!!!! In Closing, I threw in the acronym that is always sent with our daily thought and I think it appropriate for me today:
PAUSE: Patience and Understanding Succeed Everytime….this I know for sure..I may not remember when going threw my stuff, but if I PAUSE and connect with HP, let go of unrealistic expectations…I do succeed through everytime.
So please share on Patience or anything else you might have gotten out of this share….(I think I kinda got a few different topics mixed in there, sorry, not the greatest in expressing via writing, made sense to me, smiles) I look forward to hearing your ESH.