Hi GROW
I’m Sophie, an alcoholic.
I’m glad to be here and to be of service.
I’ve unexpectedly been asked to step in to send out a topic for this week.
Living Serenely and Emotional Hangovers have been popping up intermittently for a while in my life.
My emotional hangovers tend to happen when I think I’m helping someone but find in fact they didn’t ask for my help! Or when I’m allowing someone to do what’s right for them even when it feels uncomfortable to me, not speaking up for my needs. The emotions afterwards are uncomfortable. My head can get into replaying scenarios over or becoming resentful or activating low self esteem.
Each time I experience an emotional hangover I take it to my sponsor, or go to a (Zoom) meeting and share it, or talk it through with a trusted AA friend. This is my “admission”. My disease of alcoholism lives in my mind so I can’t think myself better alone. I need to take action. And sometimes I’m in such a tangle I can’t see which action to take so I freeze and stay stuck in the emotions.
Thankfully I’ve learned to reach out, to trust that others will hear me. Sometimes the simple acknowledgement of myself as being human from a fellow AA melts away the feelings and I can forgive myself for being imperfect and move on.
Other times it takes more action. Such as checking in with my gratitudes, abc’ing my gratitudes, getting out of myself by being of use or of service to someone else. It might also be about revisiting something in some way, or letting it go. It might be about reviewing it in column inventory and asking myself where I was dishonest or self-led or fearful and addressing what I learn. It might be about a amends or forgiveness or acceptance. This is my “correction”.
And then there’s the part where I can put my program into practice before those emotional jags get out of balance. Not getting too Hungry Angry Lonely Tired (HALT), dialling life down to the “irreducible minimums” when I’m sick or tired. Keeping some humility – reminding myself not to think less of myself but to think of myself less.
Writing notes for my god box.
Picking up the literature and reading to find something that might help where I’m at.
Keeping in contact with my fellow AA’s regularly, especially my sponsor. This way small stuff on the horizon can be shared about before it tsunami’s.
Before AA I don’t think I had even heard the word serene or serenity. I imagined the graceful swan gliding across a still lake but paddling furiously underwater unseen. AA showed me that serenity is possible even in stormy times. If I’m right with god I can have peace in my heart. When I start to get out of balance and something is dominating my thoughts it’s a pink flashing neon sign to take notice of it, bring myself back to the principles but I can’t do it alone. I’m grateful for the mutual encouragement and support here in GROW and in AA.
If you have experience of working your program, or the actions that have helped you around emotional hangovers or living serenely, please share with us this week.
If there’s anything else you need to share on please do, using “off topic” in the subject line.
I’ve stepped in here to send a topic for this week’s meeting as it’s usual that you’d have received it by now. We may end up with two topics if the original weekly leader sends hers out too. Apologies in advance for any confusion and feel free to share as you need or want to.
Sending hugs!
Sophie