Topic for the week: 4 Horsemen and Bedevilment
July 30, 2022
Hello ladies, Welcome everyone to this week’s meeting. Also. Congratulations to those who have celebrated an anniversary in the month of July.
I can not take credit for this week’s topic. Last week Hilaire sent out an email about the four horsemen and the 8 bedevilments. Being honest my first thought was where did she read this in the Big Book because I don’t remember this. Then I felt embarrassed having all this time in the rooms of AA and not knowing about the terms four horsemen and the bedevilments. Yep, so I spent a short period of time in my head (which is not a good choice to make putting myself down). After talking to another person, I was able to take a step back and re-read the book and did some additional reading.
It was said that they used the 8 bedevilments are yardstick as to whether the person was going on a spiritual level. Will here is a short summary of the four horsemen
Four Horsemen are said to be terror, bewilderment, frustration, and despair which describes the alcoholic at the end of his/her drinking “career”. Boy, I can relate to being at this stage the despair for me was so consuming.
8 bedevilments of AA
The AA Bedevilments
1 We were having trouble with personal relationships
2 we couldn’t control our emotional natures
3 we were prey to misery and depression
4 we couldn’t make a living
5 we had a feeling of uselessness
6 we were full of fear
7 we were unhappy
8 we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people.
Now I looked at the 8 bedevilments of AA and it was said that alcoholics would use this as a yardstick about how well the person was living the spiritual principle of the program. It is also said which I agree with that the four horsemen and 8 bedevilments can describe the state of any member who does not practice a life of rigorous honesty and practice this principle in all our affairs.
I have taken time to look at the four horsemen and can say that since I have put down the drink these behavior patterns are quiet, far in the distance but if I step away from the program they will return with force.
As for the 8 bedevilments, coming into recovery I would have had yes to all but making a living. For some reason I was able to do this. As a matter of fact, my career gave me a purpose in life to live for a very long time. I still struggle with developing personal connections, being happy, and feeling useful. To be fully honest at this moment, I feel like I am in time square (in NYC, I grew up on Staten Island) and I have no idea which way to go, a sense of emptiness. This state will be worked out in time. I have the tools at my feet, I connect with my HP and I have to accept that life is filled with ups, downs and everything in between.
Where are you at with the four horsemen and 8 bedevilments? What do the four horsemen and bedevilments mean to you? How do you keep your spiritual growth of the program progressing whether you have a little time in or a lot of time in? or please share what is on your heart.
I wish you all another 24 hours of sobriety