Letting Go of Resentments
Been thinking about the sunshine the last few days. I need it, the grey /dark/rainy days get to me. This past week, I was sitting on the porch and had to keep moving to a different chair as the light moved and was in my eyes. The thought struck me about what the BB says about being in the sunlight of the spirit. I feel so much better when I am in the sunlight both figuratively and physically. I looked up the passage in the BB about the sunlight, here it is:
“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feeling we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. If we were to live, we had to be free of anger.”
I can really see when I hold on to the angry, resentful feelings, I move into a very dark place — one that pushes me toward thinking of a drink. It struck me that I can choose that dark place or I can choose to be in the sunlight place. I struggle with anger and anxiety, but why? My sponsor often asks me what am I getting out of it. I don’t like that question but it’s a valid one. Especially when I can choose to let things go (stop harboring resentments) and be in the “sunlight.” It’s a much better place to be.
Please feel free to share your ESH on letting go of resentments.