Let Go & Let God
It has been some time since I put my name forward for the weekly topic, I thought, yes no problem I have lots of topics to write about! Seeking inspiration in the last few days I seemed to hit ‘blanks’, I handed over to my HP and suddently this topic of ‘Let Go & Let God’ seemed appropriate
I came to the AA Fellowship in January 2009 and was very blessed to meet someone who took me through the program in my first year of sobriety. I loved those months working through the steps, I was hungry for relief from the awful pain of my secret life of alcoholism. I am forever grateful that I had reunited with my HP a couple of years prior to coming into recovery, I had prayed for help, knowing I was in deep trouble, and having no control over my drinking and my life, not able to put down that bottle.
Each morning now when I rise, I take time to myself to write a little on recovery, talk with my HP, read some literature, and express my gratitude, all suggested in the BB. At night, I take my inventory. These practices each day have become a very important and much needed part of my life.
Step Three tells me:
‘Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him’
I hand my day over to God ‘ take this day and do with it as you will’. However when I take my inventory at night and walk through my day, it seems to me time and time again, I ask to Let Go & Let God, to hand over and trust. but in taking my inventory – I see where I took back control, didnt listen, tried to fix. I can see where I allowed those defects of mine to take over?
What I am beginning to realise – this is Raidy seeking pefection – not progress.
In the past two months I have had some personal challenges. Firstly having surgery on my hands, this was a real test for me of Letting Go & Letting God, its now on reflection that I see what I learned from this experience – I did hand each day over and my HP got me through showing me parts of myself that needed some work – my impatience, my need to control, my lack of trust in others, my stubborness – not wanting to ask for help.
My second experience recently, I had my brother come to stay with me for six weeks while he had daily treatments for throat cancer. What I have learned from this experience is that I can see how my program is working in my life, Letting Go and Letting God, taking this period of time One day at a time. I am also seeing parts of myself that show – caring, empathy, strength of character and being available in an unselfish way, and I feel its ok for me to acknowledge those to myself. I was not available in this way when I was drinking.
I can now see that when I do hand over my will and my life to God each day, it works, there are no flashing lights, drum rolls or messages falling out of the sky, just my HP paving a way for me each day on my recovery journey. Its about me accepting life on lifes terms each day, Letting Go and Letting God.
I would love to hear your shares and ESH on this topic, and to learn from you how you Let Go and Let God into your lives.