This was very difficult for me when I came to AA. It was also a new concept for me. For as long as I can remember I have been daydreaming of the future and reliving the past. I don’t remember ever staying in the now. I didn’t even know people did that. Talk about irritability. I wanted control of things that weren’t mine to have.
The idea of staying sober 24 hours at a time was also very foreign to me. I would hear people say how long they had been sober and it seemed so unattainable for me. I would make these great goals and never be able to achieve them because they were to hard. I couldn’t imagine making it through a day without a drink never mind a year or a lifetime.
I had to be taught how to stay present and in the now. At first I had this “whatever” attitude about it. I didn’t think it was that important. After several relapses I got that gift of desperation and decided it was worth a shot. I was surprised how hard it was. I had to actually train my brain. I remember thinking about some future conversations and stop a say ‘ I am putting on my eyeliner. I am putting on my mascara’ . My mind would drift back to my future conversation and I would have to immediately pull back again to the now.
This staying in the now has been such a gift. It helps me in so many different ways. It has helped me turn my will over to my God. It has helped me get over resentments. Most importantly it has kept me sober minute by minute and day by day. It has given me my life back.
What is your experience in staying in the now and how has it helped you in recovery?
Please feel free to share on this topic or whatever you may be going through or wish to share. The meeting is open and I look forward to your shares.
Thank you for allowing me to chair.
July 1, 2019