“To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.” Pg 46 Big Book
Thank you for the opportunity to be of service to the group this week. My name is Alison B. and I am an alcoholic. Welcome new members and congratulations to anyone celebrating this week. Also thank you for all of the birthday emails too. I first found the GROW meeting in 2012 when I was in China for a year with my husband for his employment. It was a rough year as there was so much isolation. What I did not know was just how well that prepared me for this past pandemic year. Thank you all for being a part of my continued sobriety today.
I have been having this word pop up for me a lot lately. Seek.
1.attempt to find (something).
“they came here to seek shelter from biting winter winds”
2.attempt or desire to obtain or achieve (something).
“the new regime sought his extradition”
3.ask for (something) from someone.
“she sought help from a higher power”
I heard someone share in a meeting many years ago that he had realized that his sobriety was all about the seeking of God’s will. For me that translates to I must remain humble, and teachable. It is difficult to teach something to a “know it all”. So it is my job to get out of the way of my own self, lol. This seeking stuff requires me to take some action.
(Sometimes for me a word is also defined by its opposite and in this case that looks like this: seek. Antonyms: ignore, disregard, avoid, shun, elude, discard, abandon, relinquish, drop.)
To the newcomer, AA provides the fellowship that they seek and a safe harbor. (You’re about to get a boat load of mariner analogies, lol) In seeking or looking for a solution to my inability to stop drinking I have found so much grace. I did not need to understand exactly how this AA stuff worked; I just needed to listen to you gals to understand that it does indeed work wonders. And then I needed to trust in the process. It is up to me to be rigorously honest with myself and those around me. I’ve been reading a little book recently called “A New Pair of Glasses” by Chuck C. He shares about the “Golden Key” to this thing called life is rigorous self-honesty. I was a sailor for many years; I lived aboard my sailboat in Mexico with my husband and my kids. (That is where I sobered up) In order for me to survive in that environment I had to pay attention to my surroundings at all times. I developed an intuition for hazards. Am I too close to shore? Are those wave patterns a sign of submerged rocks? Is the wind beginning to shift? Do I need to adjust my sails? Am I staying on course? Am I holding on to something?
I find that the journey in AA is much like a journey at sea. “Stay in the boat” you said. “Avoid hazards and slippery places” you said. Go into your own mind with a sponsor/guide, don’t spend too much time alone. “Do the work”; you said. Keep your sails in good order, keep your waterline clean.
So today I continue to seek the will of my Higher Power as I understand Him/Her. For it is in the seeking that I find peace. I get there by using my personal radar, lol. I keep my Higher Power on the screen at all times. And I let the God of my understanding plot my course and captain my ship. It is the easier, softer way. I pray today. I have come to rely on my intuition once again. I keep my side of the street clean and if I have made a mess I clean it up quickly. My sobriety is a precious gift and I will not put it at risk. My primary purpose is to stay sober and help other women achieve sobriety.
So, share a little about how you seek the will of your Higher Power today. Or anything else that might have resonated for you.