March 26: Life on Life’s Terms

Topic for the week:  Life on life’s terms

The first topic for me that came to mind was ‘life on life’s terms’ and it’s taken from Dr Paul’s chapter from the Big Book – which is chapter 16 entitled, Acceptance was the Answer.  Here is an excerpt from this chapter:

“For years I was sure the worst thing that could happen to a nice guy like me would be that I would turn out to be an alcoholic. Today I find it’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. This proves I don’t know what’s good for me. And if I don’t know what’s good for me, then I don’t know what’s good or bad for you or for anyone. So I’m better off if I don’t give advice, don’t figure I know what’s best, and just accept life on life’s terms, as it is today—especially my own life, as it actually is. Before A.A. I judged myself by my intentions, while the world was judging me by my actions.” 

This is one chapter that always resonates with me in my life which is my sober life now.  Grateful to have just celebrated 36 years of continuous sobriety but it is one day at a time.  I also trudge a lot at times.  I have been sober since my late teens so I have grown up in AA – worts and all.  I have had to go through things without a drink or drug to soothe or compensate or reward me.  Drink was my go-to and living life sober is living life on life’s terms (not mine).  It’s hard sometimes – sometimes hard but I get through it by reaching out to friends in the fellowship and connecting.  I still go to meetings, have a sponsor, and try and be of service whenever I can.  I love AA because it offers the solution and not just about putting down the drink (which of course had to happen first) but AA gives me a solution for living if I choose to show up, work the steps and be of service.

I always tend to share what’s going on with me today as that’s all I have is today.

This month has been very busy with work and life on life’s terms.  I have been dealing with a lot of emotions in particular grief.  My mom passed away from cancer last July.  It was this time last year that we only found out she was ill.  We found out she was terminal in May and then she deteriorated quickly and passed away on July 9th.  My sister and I took care of her in her home the two months before she died and it was really difficult but grateful I was sober and was able to be there.

Life has lots of ups and downs and life is full of new beginnings and deaths and closures.  Grateful to have AA and the tools to always meet me when life delivers ups and downs.  Acceptance was a new concept to me when I came into the rooms and now grateful that it is part of my vocabulary and toolbox.   Look forward to hearing about your experience with life on life’s terms.