Fear is an evil, corroding thread; the fabric of our lives is shot through with it.”
Fear has always been a part of my life and the root of so many of my character defects. Lately my life has been ruled by so much fear. It seems as I have gotten older, it has increased. Sometimes it gets so bad, it limits what I can do.
“We have drunk to drown feelings of fear, frustration, and depression.”
I had no foundation or support in my family of origin. I soon followed the way my parents dealt with fear, I drank. Alcohol quieted these fears for a few hours but they returned when I sobered up, often worse. Then I had the original fear and additional worries about what I did while I was black out drunk. This cycle ran on fear, 24/7.
Step four enabled me to begin dealing with my fear and anxiety. This program gave me tools to cope when fear crept in. Even in sobriety I am still diagnosed as having chronic depression and anxiety. I still try to maintain my program to the best of my ability but I am puzzled as to why so much fear has come up again. Life on life’s terms was never going to be easy but my fear is a huge stumbling block sometimes. It could be the culmination of aging, health or the impending loss of family members. I know it is time for another step four, handing things over to my HP and daily prayer about fear in my life.
How have you dealt with fear in sobriety?
Thanks for letting me lead this week.
Lynn H.