May 06: Page 164

Page 164

Hi ladies of GROW, welcome to the new members, and congratulations to those celebrating anniversaries. My name is Ruth F. and I am an alcoholic.

I have the privilege of suggesting a topic for this week. I mulled over a couple of ideas and then the last paragraph on page 164 of the BB kept coming up.

“Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you – until then.”

I have always liked this paragraph. What’s not to like, right? For me, It gives me hope and sums up the program for me. I admit I had some difficulty wrapping my head around the word “trudge.” I looked it up in “The Little BIG BOOK DICTIONARY”. There are 2 meanings listed. One is to “move oneself slowly”, and the other is “to walk or march steadily; usually with difficulty”.

So, in the back of my mind, I think of trudging as moving forward, however long it takes. I have been doing some sidestepping and backward walking for a while now. Time passes so quickly and days can turn into weeks, even months before you realize it..

Some of the warning signs for me are the addictive behaviors that crop up. These can include; spending too much money, obsessing, being dishonest and hiding what I am doing.

I have had to get really honest with my support system including my husband, sponsor, and counselor. Returning to f2f meetings have been important to me in order to stop hiding. I finally told my sponsor how long it’d been since my last f2f meetings and was shocked after I figured it out. I am grateful to a wonderful sponsor who helped me to be accountable while encouraging me, in a loving way to get my butt to meetings. It can feel good, to be honest, and follow directions. I could not afford to let any more time get past me without taking action.

So, I will keep on trudging forward along this road of happy destiny because I know it’s progress, not perfection, and I am not alone. I am so grateful for this program and for all of you. I am interested in your take on this paragraph and what it might mean to you.

Thank you for allowing me to be of service and to stay sober.
Ruth F.