Nov 03: The Gift of Sobriety

The Gift of Sobriety

I would like to share a reading from Daily Reflections page 186:

For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.”


“The longer I chased these elusive feelings with alcohol, the more out of reach they were. However, by applying this passage to my sobriety, I found that it described the magnificent new life made available to me by the A.A. program. ‘It’ truly does ‘get better’ one day at a time. The warmth, the love and the joy so simply expressed in these words grow in breadth and depth each time I read it. Sobriety is a gift that grows with time.”

This reading really spoke to me today. I’ve been writing out my “drinking story/history” which has been kind of grueling and long. I’ve done it sort of half-ass before with another sponsor. Now I’m really trying to get as detailed as possible (without trying to get into that trying to be perfect mode-lol) as I am reading “Bill’s Story” with my new sponsor. I am seeing similarities between Bill’s story and mine. It’s easy for me to minimize my drinking and say “oh it wasn’t so bad.” See I didn’t have a lot of the “yets.”

My drinking was for a long time a happy and joyous experience with family and friends. It did not last though. Eventually my drinking became isolating, dark, and depressing. I was using the alcohol to make me feel better and make it seem like my life was good. I thought that if I was drinking, my life would be better – I would feel better. It would make my problems go away, it would make me less afraid and anxious, it would make me happier.

Alcohol sure is cunning, baffling and powerful – and deceitful! Unfortunately it has taken me multiple relapses to make me realize that alcohol is NOT the solution. I kept thinking that it was the answer so I would drink again. Thank God my relapses only lasted one night!! I was able to come back to AA the very next day and talk about my relapse.

I will have 7 months on November 5 thanks be to my Higher Power, the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and strong sponsorship. I kept saying to myself “am I ever going to get this program?” and “when are things going to get better?” I was always doubting myself because I kept relapsing and changing sponsors so many times. I can honestly say now that I feel like my life has really gotten better. My husband and I have been working on our marriage for a couple of years now ever since my affair, and our marriage has gotten better. I have a wonderful relationship with my two awesome teenagers, and I am always there for them.

I am grateful for the fellowship and for the friends that I have made all over the world. I am so grateful for AA and for this gift of sobriety! I never want to take it for granted ever again! One more thing- I was at my home group this morning, and we were reading from “Dr. Bob’s Nightmare.” At the end of the meeting, one of the women came up to me and said that she can tell that I have changed and that I am working the steps! Wow! I was so happy and practically speechless when she said that. “Progress, not perfection!” My sobriety really is a gift that can keep on growing with time.