“If we are planning on stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.”
From Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More ABout Alcoholism, pg. 33
I read the above quote the other day and got to thinking about reservations and relapse. While my story doesn’t include relapse (by the grace of God) I’ve heard others share their experience with relapse. They say that they got comfortable, they say they thought they “had it.” They say that they thought they could drink “normally.”
Thank God for those that have gone before me that have relapsed. I need to hear their stories. When they go back out, they say it never gets better. In fact, it’s worse than when they left off. One person shared that their disease is doing push ups, just waiting for them to slip.
I need to remember that. I need to remind myself that I can never, ever, drink again. I need to practice these principles in all my affairs. I need to be diligent. I need to be honest, open and willing. I need to remain teachable. I need to be of service. I need to do the next right thing.
Yes, it’s work. But the rewards are so worth it. Being able to hold my head up high, looking at myself in the mirror and liking what I see. It’s a life I never knew prior to coming to these rooms. So, I will never, ever, be immune to alcohol. My disease may try to tell me otherwise. But so long as I keep my HP big and my ego small, I will stay sober, one more day.
Please share about any reservations or lurking notions you may have or had … Or anything that may be on your mind!