Feb 17: God Could and Would If He Were Sought

God Could and Would If He Were Sought


It has been said that there are no atheists in foxholes. As so many of us know, we sought a foxhole for refuge from alcoholism. It brought us to our knees to ask for help from a Higher Power, even if we didn’t have or understand one. And we were given the help we sought whether or not it seemed we deserved it. When we cleared up, of course, many of us began to question the existence of a Higher Power. Isn’t that just like us!

Having sought a foxhole from raging emotions recently, I found myself unable to identify a way out. While the wonderful women of GROW reached out to me, I was stuck in hurt, fear and hopelessness. My sponsor, a very spiritual woman, immediately noticed I was not seeking my Higher Power. She has a joyful spirituality, even after a lot of pain in her life and does not lack for a sense of humor. We even got to a point of her asking if I had been ‘sought-ing’ today (if He were sought…you got it). She also pointed out that after please should come thank you.

My relationship with a Higher Power has been touch and go throughout the years. Blame it on upbringing, blame it on me. However, in these last 2 years, we seem to have become much closer. I am starting to experience a tangible feel of His presence. Of course, it is I who is moving closer to Him. I doubt He ever moved. It seems always to take a lot to get my attention. I can only say that I hope that my attentiveness grows. Then it may not take such prolonged painful events to get me to turn to the God of my understanding.

There is a particular point in this suggestion from the Big Book. In order to receive help, we must keep an open dialog with our Higher Power. For me, there has been a lot of magical thinking around a Higher Power. For example, I thought, He will just know what I want–I don’t have to ask. The only action I have to take is to ask. And it is not my place to be guiding our Higher Power on how to get the job done! Someone wryly commented that If you insist on what you want, you may lose what you need. That is worthy of thought. AA is a simple program for complicated people.

I only have to say Please Help. I have received blessings and answers to my prayers with so little effort. While our prayers most often are on behalf of others, there is a time that I must declare my powerlessness and humility and go directly to my Higher Power for help for myself. He never disappoints! Oh sure, I may not be given what I think should get, but I always get what I need. From time to time I look at what I received when I prayed and see how spot-on the answer was. So often it turns out not to be what I thought I needed. This really is How It Works.