Today, our topic comes from this paragraph of “There IS a Solution,” on page 18 of the Big Book:
“An illness of this sort – and we have come to believe it an illness – involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes the annihilation of all the things worthwhile in life.
It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer’s. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents – anyone can increase the list.”
It’s pretty clear which sentence dominates the paragraph. It’s the one that called to me as I was hunting for a topic for this meeting. I thought about it for a long time, and decided this was it. TRUTH. Alcohol truly did annihilate everything that was worth something in my life, especially those I loved the most.
It took my most meaningful relationships and threw them in the trash; it took my license; it took my freedom; it took my pride and ground it into the dirt; it took control of my LIFE. And not just MY life, but my husband’s life, my mother’s life, my son’s life. All who truly cared about me got pushed aside when alcohol came around, which, let’s face it, was ALL the TIME. But, on the bright side, at least I can say “WAS.”
I am currently sitting at 385 days, 12 hours, and 29 minutes. I have EARNED my One Year token and it feels amazing. I can’t wait to add more to my collection. I keep them in my wallet and when I’m feeling low I pull them out and look them. I need to learn to do that when I’m angry, too. Otherwise I might end up letting alcohol take control and you know what that means: TOTAL ANNIHILATION. Because anger breeds resentments. And we can’t let that happen. So I work my Step 4 like a BOSS and keep coming back.
This paragraph jumped out at me because it’s HAPPENED to me. Has it happened to you? Please feel free to share your experience with this disease and how YOU annihilated it. Strong language for a strong substance. I love it.