Plan the Action, Not the Results
My husband and I made a decision recently, that we would not live apart any longer and trusted that the money part of this would fall together. But in view of the fact that we have waited our entire lives to find each other, it did not make sense to live in two different countries. So he gave notice and is coming home on April 4th and is done with the China gig. Hurrah! Rather magically and because we simply do the next indicated thing together, he applied for a job in Florida a month or so ago. The salary turned out to be far short of our needs, so we figured it was not meant to be. But last night he received an email informing him that the new Florida-based company would like to fly him to Florida later next month for an interview.
Now here is the part that I like the most. It’s not so much about the salary. We are not even sure we want to live in Florida right now. In fact, ideally we would get to spend the summer in our beautiful home here in the Great White North of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. The winters are brutal, and we “Yoopers” really look forward to the spectacular summer months followed by the flaming Fall colors! After 200-300″ of snow removal we earn our summer months! At any rate, we don’t want to move to Florida right now, but perhaps God has another plan.
Together Dave and I have concluded that we must follow this job offer to its conclusion. The one thing I do know is that we will be happy no matter where we are, as AA has given us the tools with which to live life and the promises of happiness, joy & freedom. Plus, I am one of the most adaptable people that I know. I can live almost anywhere. We will plan a trip together to Florida later next month, “try it on” and see if it is a good fit. We will pray together and make the decision together. We will write about it, the pros & cons and we will analyze and do the footwork. We will “number crunch”, pray some more and in the end we will know that we made the right decision for us and we will have no regrets. That is how AA has taught me to live my life. So for today I will plan the action and not the results.
It has taken me a lifetime to get to this place where I don’t need to “steer” (don’t get me wrong, I will still try on occasion to control stuff!) or manipulate, conjure, massage, orchestrate, etc. the outcome of events in my life. I am learning, albeit ever so slowly, sometimes to let stuff/life unfold. It is certainly more exciting that way! I trust in the process today and know in my heart if not in my head, that God has a plan. It is His plan and all I need to do is the footwork and the rest will unfold naturally.
So today, I plan the action not the results. This is born of trust – a ruthless trust in a God of my understanding. It has taken years of “testing” my trust, years of letting go little by little and finding out that it all works out for the best. This of course, is only affirmed in retrospect. I just cannot see today what the outcome of “the game” will be. And it does not matter to me now. What matters is that I get up and do the best that I can just for today.
My Mom had a book on her nightstand that I will never forget the title of, and I have it on my nightstand now. In fact I would love to simply frame the cover and hang it on the wall as I didn’t enjoy reading it all that much. It is titled “Don’t Push the River (it flows by itself)” by Barry Stevens. The title conjures up the perfect imagery for me of just how to live life.
God has a plan here for my husband and I, and it is my job to do the footwork. I have learned to have little vested in the actual outcome, because God has always given me/us exactly what I need when I need it. What I know today is that during the course of my sober years, my Higher Power has ALWAYS taken care of my needs. I trust my God today. The freedom that gives me is priceless, absolutely priceless.