May 06: Patience/Persistence


Thank you all for allowing me this service work. This week is a special one for me…I like to honor my grandmother’s passing which was May 9, 1989. She was my angel while alive and continues to look over me…I only wish she lived long enough to see me sober!

I wasn’t sure I would be able to share today … it is still difficult to type so I shall be brief. About 6 weeks ago I was rear ended while stopped … I was just healing from major back surgery only to get severely injured with a women who was looking behind her while driving. She did not carry insurance to cover this accident, only enough to get my Van fixed which, thank you HP, has been restored (it should have been totaled).

Now I am looking at least one other surgery, possibly two. I was supposed to go for major back surgery again (this time much, much more involved surgery) Tuesday, but it got postponed due to over-booking … So now, I wait patiently, anxiously for May 22nd where I will undergo back surgery again. Instead of less than one day in the hospital, it will be 4-5 days then a skilled nursing center for undetermined time period.

I am having another body part evaluated that may need surgery also. All due to this accident. I could go into the why me’s? Well, I did, but my program is allowing me on a daily basis to work on letting go of that and the resentment and anger of it all … It’s not helping … so I turn it over.

Talk about Patience … I have had to completely go from … healing and finally out and about with the hope of being more active than I have been in years cuz I had this awesome surgery to fix my back … to bed rest, not able to walk for more than a few feet and more pain then I care to acknowledge!! All in a single moment …

Patience for me today is about patience with myself … Persistence for me is about finding the best solution for my situation . which surgeon and surgery procedure to go with. And I am going to need to practice patience after surgery with myself and those who will be caring for me. It really is going to be a huge challenge.

With that being said, I have a program, thank you HP, and I have HP. I don’t know why this happened to me, that is none of my business at this point . that is up to HP, I may never know. But it did, and I have to accept the things I cannot change … and be patient with self and HP that I will be ok. I have to be OK!!

I am not able to share on topics….but I read each and every one of them…thank you all who share and chair!! Hopefully, in a few months from now, I will be able to get active again.

How does your program allow you to practice patience?