Nov 20: Steps 4 and 5

Steps 4 and 5

I prayed on what the topic should be. I am a new member of Grow. I just celebrated 6 months sobriety. As I head towards this step, I am afraid of some truths and worry I will fall into the despair of depression. Looking at me is difficult. And now I have to do this and tell someone. But here I go!!!

From the Big Book, “It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent, we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile.” Chapter 5, How it works, page 66. I have squandered many an hour blaming other people. My reactions and attitude, especially in my drinking were awful.

Now I get to understand my part in the whole thing. To review my short comings was something I never thought of. It was not my fault that everyone had attitudes and issues. I never thought to look and see how my attitude and issues affected everyone else. Sitting with a pen, paper and deep reflection I can now see the part I played. But what about telling someone? Fear, comes into mind. What will my sponsor think of me? The horrible person I have been. I try to remember the others who have taken this step. They talk of release and relief. The sense of peace that comes with admitting out loud and the promise that my HP will help remove these shortcomings if I ask. What a glorious thing to happen. To be rid of past and all the baggage I have dragged with me all this time.

“This vital step was also the means by which we began to get the feeling that we could be forgiven, no matter what we had done.” From Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Five, page 57-58.

How did you get ready for these steps without getting trapped in regrets? What was it like when you finished step 5?

Thank you.

This topic is now open for discussion.