Recently I have returned to outpatient therapy, I stopped going at the end of my addiction and during my first year of sobriety as I felt like AA was enough at that time. Now experiencing more of life on life’s terms I felt the need to return to therapy. This allows me to have a safe place to discuss my dissolving marriage and work on myself outside of AA. Initially I felt guilty returning to therapy l asking myself why wasn’t AA enough? Why wasn’t sobriety enough? Why are there still issues? What am I doing wrong?
I found a quote from Living Sober on page 59:
” One’s need for a helping hand is no sign of weakness and no cause of shame. “Pride” that prevents one from taking an encouraging boost from a professional helper is a phony. It is nothing but vanity and an obstacle to recovery. The more mature one becomes, the more willing one is to use the best possible advice and help.”
A few key words stood out for me in the passage:
Pride: excessively highly distorted opinion of oneself, overinflated ego
Phony: Self-righteous, false pride, judging of others
Vanity: Facet of pride, overinflating sense of importance.
Well that about sums up this alcoholic. Humbling description.
I want to strive for that mature and willing part.
Willing: surrendering my self-will to do whatever is possible to achieve and maintain sobriety and striving for spiritual growth in my life.
Accepting help with therapy or in any professional capacity is not weakness its willingness.