Chapter 5
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of been honest with themselves.
Two sentences further:
“Rigorous honesty”.
“If they have the capacity to be honest”.
My sister and I were recently reminiscing about our younger years.
What strangely ‘came to me’ was, I was abused at a young age.
First my brother at age 6.
Second a boyfriend of my Mom at age 13.
I have never told anyone about it (kind of deep in my physche).
I admit I was extremely reluctant (still am) to share this, however my sister (also an alcoholic) and my sponsor feel it will help me by openly talking about it. Also starting to see a therapist next week.
I cannot put in words how I feel about what happened, kind of like I do not want to go down that road.
Needless to say I have come this far.
What happened does not make me want a drink. I cannot let what happened “define me”.
My first sponsor told me that pain (does not have to be physical), it will go away, as will fear and self doubt. If you stick to the program.
What I can say is that I have become a better person.
I can leave the past behind.