Topic this week: The Promise… “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.”
I have learned much about happiness in the last few years and felt inspired to pull this wonderful promise into our meeting this week. Back in the old days (pre-12 steps, pre-sanity), I thought that happiness was the end goal to reach in this life. The ticket to get there was the degree, the job, the husband and family, the friends, the house, the wardrobe, the gadgets and toys, the food, the drug, the drink. You get the picture. I believed getting everything in this list would lead to ‘true happiness’. Yet even as I walked through those milestones and experiences, moments of happiness were generally few and far between. This was especially the case during the years that drinking was my crutch of choice. I just couldn’t figure out why my happiness never lasted for any length of time.
I’m ‘happy’ (pun intended) to report that my perspective is very different today. Since I began working the 12 steps, I no longer see happiness (aka joy, peace, contentment, serenity) as ‘the goal’, yet I experience more of it. Joy seems to be a by-product of what I give, not based on a self-centered pattern of what I get. Helping someone when I don’t feel like doing so brings far more serenity than buying a new outfit. Sharing and listening well in a conversation, stuffing envelopes for my women’s group, thanking my husband for working so hard – all of these small things make me feel happy. Choosing to be grateful for the blessings in my life also brings peace and calm during dark moments.
Most importantly, I know that I alone am responsible for my happiness, there is no legitimate reason to blame others for my moods or state of mind. I can decide to be happy at any given moment. Today I’m very grateful for this program and understanding how to live this promise.
Please feel free to share your experience, strength and hope in regards to the promise of knowing a new happiness.