Mar 15: One Day at a Time

This was very difficult for me when I came to AA. It was also a new concept for me. For as long as I can remember I have been daydreaming of the future and reliving the past. I don’t remember ever staying in the now. I didn’t even know people did that. Talk about irritability. I wanted control of things that weren’t mine to have.

The idea of staying sober 24 hours at a time was also very foreign to me. I would hear people say how long they had been sober and it seemed so unattainable for me. I would make these great goals and never be able to achieve them because they were to hard. I couldn’t imagine making it through a day without a drink never mind a year or a lifetime.

I had to be taught how to stay present and in the now. At first I had this “whatever” attitude about it. I didn’t think it was that important. After several relapses I got that gift of desperation and decided it was worth a shot. I was surprised how hard it was. I had to actually train my brain. I remember thinking about some future conversations and stop a say ‘ I am putting on my eyeliner. I am putting on my mascara’ . My mind would drift back to my future conversation and I would have to immediately pull back again to the now.

This staying in the now has been such a gift. It helps me in so many different ways. It has helped me turn my will over to my God. It has helped me get over resentments. Most importantly it has kept me sober minute by minute and day by day. It has given me my life back.

What is your experience in staying in the now and how has it helped you in recovery?

Please feel free to share on this topic or whatever you may be going through or wish to share. The meeting is open and I look forward to your shares.
Thank you for allowing me to chair.

Amy
July 1, 2019

Mar 08: Conceding to our Inner Most Self that we are Alcoholics

Hey good Morning friends. Karrie here alcoholic. One of my “go to” readings is the chapter “More About Alcoholism” in the Big Book. If you haven’t read it in awhile I would encourage you to do so. I go to this chapter often, specially when those little nagging thoughts come—you know those thoughts that say …. “maybe I am not a real alcoholic“ OR “maybe I could take one drink and be ok” OR “maybe this time will be different”. Those are all lies that my disease whispers to me from time to time. Daily working my program helps me stay sober. It is the solution.

The sentences that are so important to me are—- “ We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.” I have to smash that delusion over and over. People say that we have to get step one completely. I agree but I have to remind myself that daily that I am an alcoholic. Conceding to my inner most self over and over that I am an alcoholic.

The topic for this week is “Have you conceded to your innermost self that you are an alcoholic?”

Please feel free to share to share on this or anything that you need to that will help you stay sober today.

Mar 01: Step 3

We are all invited to share on Step 3. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives

*** Step 3 ***
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 5, starting on p. 60. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

I initially had a hard time with this step because of conflicting feelings about religion. However, this step isn’t meant to be a religious obligation; it’s meant to help alcoholics rely on something other than themselves to help them abstain from drinking alcohol. There are several ways I have used this step to make changes in my life.

I began to distinguish between what is in my control and what isn’t. I often covered up feelings of being out of control by attempting to control everything in my life. Including my own drinking ( how’d that work – NOT) Sometimes I drank to forget painful things in my life that were beyond my control. One way I have learned to use step three is to ask myself “ Do I have control over what is upsetting me ?” Learning to let go of things that are beyond my control has helped me to reduce the desire to drink.

I learned to cultivate a positive attitude. The feelings behind my alcoholic addiction are painful; frustrating or angry. I often drank to not feel them, By learning to turn my feelings over to some sort of higher power, (for me it started as the rooms and the fellowship) I began to feel more capable of dealing with life’s challenges. This step helped me to learn to be more open to guidance. Listening to other AAs share solutions helped open my closed mind and become more willing. Learning to share my “issues” with other alcoholics and then the larger world and listen to the suggestions given have proven themselves time and time again. The more I practice this the easier it gets.

Step 3 suggests that the alcoholic should be open to help from whatever source it comes from, because whatever higher power (including my own best vision of myself) I am working with, might be directing me towards better behavior. A friend once shared with something with me that I would like to share with you. She used to have resentments towards people she thought she was supposed to be counting on, until she realized that she always received the help she needed, just not from the source she thought it should come from. Once she realized that it became easier to be grateful and receive the care of ….her higher power. It’s true for me as well. Many times the person I thought would be there to help, can’t – but there has always been someone else to step up. It’s simply amazing when I look back over events. Try it sometime when you’re not feeling grateful. (LOL)

The meeting is now open, and as always if you have a burning desire to share something, this is the place to bring it.
Thank you for all the birthday wishes, 21 years is an amazing gift, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Laurie C

Feb 23: Putting Sobriety First

Hello all ladies of GROW.

My name is Rene and am an alcoholic.

In recovery it is often said that you risk losing anything you put in front of sobriety. If you place your family, friends, job, ahead of sobriety, you risk losing all these things and slide back into alcoholism.

Taking it one day at a time and focus on the now, worrying about what will happen only slows my recovery, that includes not dwelling on the past as it happened, can’t change that (my sponsor repeatedly told me this- also avoid negatives, change it into a positive – she a very wise woman).

If I devote as much time to recovery as I did with alcohol, all the hours spent drinking and feeling sorry for myself. I can now put my sobriety first, attend meetings, reading the literature, sharing on topic and service work (no matter how small).

I am unfortunately one of those people who speak before I think, my sister politely says I only open my mouth to change feet, naturally this lands me in trouble at times, it the learning from it (am still learning), putting principles first.

My first f2f meeting is 22 April, day I land in Jhb, they asked and I agreed to share at my first meeting (15min), at first the thought terrified me as been an introvert I prefer to stay in the background, now this is something I can say “have done”, as who knows what might happen, my circumstances can change and in a place with access to f2f meetings.

The Oxford dictionary says of perseverance :(persistence in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success)

I have said it before AA (including this group and my online meetings, it is my safety net or cocoon). Their is times I would prefer not to “deal with the world”, but then that would be counter productive.

Someone said to me once:
Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.
May we treat, each day like that.

Thank you for letting me share, would love to hear other thoughts and shares.

Feb 16: Acceptance

Hello all dear GROW Members, my name is Nancy C. and I am an alcoholic. It hardly seems possible that almost 23 years ago this alcoholic stumbled into another online email group and I am so grateful to God and AA !!

This short quote about acceptance is one of my favorite recovery messages. It’s from the 3rd Edition, page 449 and 4th Edition, page 417 of “Alcoholics Anonymous”,The Big Book: The chapter was written by Dr. Paul Ohliger, who died Friday, May 19, 2000, in Mission Viejo, California at the age of 83.

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

If I had not accepted my alcoholism, my road to recovery would have been very short and I would not be about to celebrate 23 years of sobriety. When my dear husband and best friend died suddenly 3 ½ years ago, accepting his death was major in my grieving process. Going on with my life and not doing the “if only” questions and “what if “ questions. It has not been easy but by accepting and not fighting the process life has become better.

This week I would love to hear your stories of acceptance in your sober journeys. Thank you for the honor of leading this week’s meeting.

Feb 09: Self Centeredness

I’m Valerie and I’m an alcoholic. I’m so grateful to be part of this group. Thank you so much to everyone who reached out yesterday for my 32nd anniversary. There’s no chance I would have been able to attain days, months or years of continuous sobriety without the support of others who truly understand the nature of this illness. In particular, in the past several years it has become increasingly difficult to get to f2f meetings. So many of you here at this meeting have helped me at various times to hang on for one more day.

I remember when I was newly sober and I heard a speaker with over 30 years of sobriety. I was so in awe of her. In fact, I was very much in awe of anyone who had been able to be sober for more than a year. I had been a daily drinker for 10 years. For some, that doesn’t sound very long, but in those 10 years I gave up everyone and everything that competed with my compulsion to drink. I quit college, quit playing competitive tennis, walked away from friends, boyfriends, jobs and anyone who questioned my drinking. I was unable to do the smallest of tasks without drinking first, and by the end I had to go home on my lunch hour and drink just to get through a day of work. Once, when there was a rare hurricane in Massachusetts where I lived at the time, others were out stocking their homes with food before the storm hit, but I was running from one liquor store to the next to make sure I didn’t run out of alcohol. Without AA, I have no doubt I would have drunk myself to death

For any newcomers that are here, we’ve all been where you are, and we all know we’re just one drink away from our next drunk. Years ago at a large speaker meeting, I heard a speaker say, “I have a disease that wants to kill everyone in this room.” It’s a cunning, powerful and insidious disease that’s lying in wait hoping we become complacent or forget where we came from, or that we forget we need each other to remain sober. Together we can do what none of us can do alone.

For this week, I’d like to suggest the topic of self-centeredness. In the Big Book on page 62, it says

“Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.”

I remember reading that when I was new and feeling confused. I didn’t think that I was a self-centered person at all.

Boy was I wrong. I have come to recognize that I did make many decisions based on self that hurt me and other people. Self-centered fear affected many of my decisions personally and professionally. For me, self-centeredness tends to manifest most often as self-pity, and I have to be vigilant about my tendency to wallow in the “poor me’s”. Self-pity is driven by a tendency to think only of myself, my problems, my pain.

What a gift that the Steps give us the tools to recognize and work on defects of character, such as self-centeredness.

How has self-centeredness manifested in your life, in the past or in the present? I invite you all to share on this topic or any other topic that you’d like to share on this week.

Thank you all for letting me lead this week, and for letting me be part of this wonderful group.

Hugs to all who need or want one,

Valerie D
DOS 2/8/88

Feb 02: Step 2

Step 2

Step 2: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

I used to believe I was in control of everything. I spent decades making poor choices and decisions about how to cope with the challenges of life. As a young teenager I turned to overeating, then it was drugs, then boys/men. Eventually king alcohol joined the party – all to avoid emotional pain or anything uncomfortable. Of course any relief was only temporary, which kept this vicious cycle going in my head, in my heart and my life. The high price I paid not only impacted me, but those I was close to.

It wasn’t until I began to truly practice my faith through this program called AA (and eventually OA) that I began to realize there is another path. I started this journey 5 years ago today and so far so good.

My faith in steps 2 and 3 specifically are definitely being tested as we speak. I’m in what feels like an unusually challenging marriage, sometimes I am overwhelmed with loneliness, hurt, sadness and fear about the future. I’m also planning to retire later this year after full time work for 40+ years, lots of emotions swirling in my head about that. Lately I’ve been praying more, counting on my belief that God will help restore my sanity. And when I *pause* long enough to *listen*, it is such a tremendous relief to believe, it gives me hope to know that I’m not alone in this journey.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and experience surrounding step 2.

Thank you for being her ladies!
Susan P.

Jan 26: God Consciousness

God Consciousness

Hi! I’m still Julie and I’m an alcoholic. Last night I had a few friends over to my house. We did an at home meeting since my husband is out of town (and I have two small kids.)

We read the chapter into action and this jumped out at me… from page 85 of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous:
“Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action.“

The idea of becoming God-conscious really resonated with me. My life is very full, as a married, working full time, mom of two. I used to be so selfish, self centered and insecure. Self conscious. But now after a few 24 hours of working this program of recovery, I feel as if I’m becoming more God-conscious. I try to align my will that to the God of my understanding. I ask for help in the morning, thank my God at night. All throughout the day I am given several opportunities to make conscious contact.

I am just so relieved that I no longer have to feel the feelings that consumed me. That took me away from everyone and everything, and drove me inward. There is a God, I believe that today. l trust and have faith today. I am aware that their is a plan for my life and yours. That it may not make sense to me or I may never understand it. But I accept it because this is the easier, softer way. My God didn’t put me on this planet to numb out and go inward. I am living my life and trying like heck to enjoy the moments… Because this is the only life I’ll ever get to live.

Today I feel strong, inspired and that I’m heading in the right direction. How about you? Please feel free to share on this topic or anything that may be on your mind.

Julie K
5/17/12

Jan 19: Replacing Old Ideas

Replacing Old Ideas

My favorite thing to do when I am to take the lead in any meeting, general topic, is to take my Big Book off the shelf and open it to a page. Read a little bit and come up with a topic. I have to laugh … I opened to page 414 and that could be because it’s my favorite story and part of the book I read often.

The first paragraph on the page …
“I was locked up. One has to be pretty sick to do that, and perhaps one has to be even sicker to come back every day for a new list, as she did. (Today we don’t have to live that way. Max still works with me in the office, but we have turned our wills and our lives and our work over to the care of God. Each with the other as a witness, we took the Third Step out loud-just as it says in the Big Book. And life keeps getting simpler and easier as we try to reverse my old idea, by taking care of the internal environment via the Twelve steps, and letting the external environment take care of itself.)”

Yep … A great reminder for this alcoholic. Today my life seems simple and easy when I remember that I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to my higher power. The problem isn’t the outside world but from within me. Life may present its challenges, but I have a choice in how I view them. Are they problems? No. They are challenges for a moment, but thanks to this program, my mind goes from “challenge” to “opportunity for growth.” (Someone in one of online meetings mentioned “challenges” the other day and I just loved it. Kind of like a middle ground between problems and opportunities for growth.)

When I “reverse my old idea” and draw upon all that I have learned via the program, the steps, and the fellowship. When I remember to take action to deal with me and my thinking … When I don’t know what action to take and turn it ALL over, life is EASIER.

So ladies, please feel take what you want from this lead and share your ESH. Or whatever may be on your mind.

Jan 12: Trusting the Process

Trusting the Process

Hello again, I’m Mari Ann and I am an alcoholic who celebrated 32 years of continuous sobriety on January 9, 2020. I relish the chance to chair the meeting immediately following my anniversary. It reminds me that only by taking action, grateful action, will I continue to remain sober. No laurel-resting is safe for me.

This past year has been stuffed full of interpersonal exchanges with people I didn’t know, or don’t get to see in years; but all of whom are important to friends who are important to me. It was an unusual year involving my being able to help in capacities I couldn’t have guessed in advance but was grateful to be sober and able to provide.

For much of it, I realized I no longer worried about how any of my help might be received – as I worried myself sick in early recovery. I didn’t worry about “looking stupid” as I did in early recovery. For once, none of what was happening was “about” me. “I” didn’t come to mind, only what could I do or offer to do came to mind.

The other sensation was recognizing I was in the midst of some process much bigger than me. I was being guided to be present, to witness and/or assist in things beyond my comfort zone. It’s what people assured me about in early recovery, that as long as I was willing to work a program of recovery, the process would keep me sober as it has kept millions of others sober before me.

In early recovery, it felt as though there were times I was somehow flowing along with the current down the middle of the river like you do in a dream. Lights turned green, doors opened, and my next indicated task got accomplished. Other times it felt like I was rowing as hard as I could, slamming into the shore or banging into boulders in mid-stream and all I could do was return to focusing solely on my own spiritual growth in this program and trust my course would straighten out again.

It always has. Learning to “trust the process” is a continuing lesson for me. I am still in a little bit of awe when I sense I’m in the middle of some process-bigger-than-me because I was never part of such a process all the years I drank. Then, I was in a whirlwind of my own making and completely closed off to wanting to be part of anything bigger.

I have no idea what the universe is preparing me for, but I sense She is preparing me. And today, I am grateful to be sober and able to participate to the best of my ability.

Thank you, dear GROWing sisters, for being part of my sobriety since GROW began in 1998. One of my f2f groups has a prayer I like. “God, my Higher Power, look after the members of my 12 step group. Keep them safe and sober for they have helped keep me safe and sober.”

As always, please feel free to share whatever impacts your sobriety or recovery with us. It always helps someone who needs to hear it.

 

Jan 05: Step 1

Step 1

Step 1 has several topics for me as a result of being a member of AA and attending meetings for years. It seemed really simple at first, I admitted I could not stop drinking and that was enough of a start.

In meetings I started to learn about the disease of alcoholism. One drink is too many and 100 is not enough. I am mentally and bodily different and I had to learn to stay sober one day at a time.

What was missing for quite a while was that the first word in the step is “We”. In my head when I heard the step I was thinking ”I’m powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable”. That is true, but the solution has been to be powerless with all of the alcoholics I share recovery with. Staying sober without all of you is not possible.

I relate to other alcoholics at a level I have not experienced anywhere else. I learned honesty from you and I learned principals from you and I learned how to not pick up a drink from you. The “We” of AA has allowed me to rejoin the human race and become a part of rather than the solo warrior ready to fight everything to calm the fears. I now take the fears to God and trust.

Please share on Step 1, however you relate to it today.

 

Dec 29: Control/Taking Care of Ourselves

Control/Taking Care of Ourselves

Good evening ! Wow, I am always a little bit relieved when the “holidays” are over. As an alcoholic from an emotionally crippled family holidays in early sobriety were difficult. I had to set boundaries and realize that I could let go of any guilt I had ingrained in me and do what was healthy for everyone involved. A long time ago a friend told me “it’s just another day” lol that always rings in my head when a special day comes around where I might feel pressure to be or do something I’m not 100% comfortable with.

ANYWAY- this year and these days I have my own family and holidays are my own style which I love – I try to teach my kids to be grateful and we go to church (I am not religious) for the ritual of it and it’s nice and sparkly and beautiful and I love the music and to be present with others and god (whatever god they and I want).

I chose the topic of control and taking care of myself because this is a typical issue that comes up for me when I am pushed past my limit. I am going to try to share in a general way but we have had some family issues come up that are textbook alanon and I’ve really had a hard time with it. When my kids are involved, control for me has been extremely tricky. I also can identify when (usually AFTER telling people exactly what I think and acting like a jerk) things are not my business. I have zero control over anything except me and my attitude- again HARD TO SWALLOW. My alcoholism today has me reach and grasp and claw for control (not a drink today) when I haven’t taken care of myself and I feel angry/sad/etc etc.

I realized tonight that as we enter into a beautiful new year I am free – I don’t need to control, I can drop the rocks that weigh me down (control) and walk forward with the help of this program (and mind my own damn business). I can take care of myself and demand time for me to feel free and alive. This disease is truly cunning baffling and powerful- how it sucks in others and makes them so sick without them ever taking a drink is proof to me of how alcoholism is alive and well in the world and makes me so grateful that I have this program and tribe of recovery. I love you ladies and I hope that made some type of sense !! I look forward to walking into a new year with all of you and love every one of you!

Sarah K

Dec 22: Balance

Balance

bal·ance /ˈbaləns/noun
an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

Life sure is a balancing act. Sometimes I feel like I’m juggling five things while riding a unicycle and one more thing in the mix and I’m on the ground saying ‘what went wrong’? Lol

I still am an alcoholic, thinking I can do everything and please everyone in the universe…news flash..I’M NOT GOD!

The key to keeping balance is knowing when you’ve lost it. I’m grateful through this program to be aware of not being in balance and using the tools of the program to get back to a healthy balance. Last week I ended up with shingles…this surely is a sign that something is not right. So my life came to a screeching halt…I forgot to take care of ME, imagine that!!! I wrote and prayed and have let go of a lot of things this week…How do you stay balanced? What techniques/tools do you use? Please share on anything that may be troubling you.

Thank you for letting me be of service,

Statia H.
DOS 04/15/2010 one day at a time only by the grace of God!

Dec 15: Having Sober Holidays

Having Sober Holidays

A few Christmases ago, my family gathered at my sister’s house for the traditional dinner. It was very nice. Her husband played bartender and made sure all the adults had what they wanted. They all know I’m in recovery, so no one offered me a drink. Things were going well until Ron pulled out a beautiful little Waterford glass and began to pour an equally beautiful bright red liquid into it. It was the prettiest drink I’d ever seen. My eyes and my mind became transfixed. I wondered what it would taste like. I thought of myself holding that pretty drink. My mind played with the idea until I finally got up and left the room. There’s no doubt that I am an alcoholic!

No matter how long I’ve been sober, my alcoholic mind still focuses on alcohol when it is present. When I was newly sober, my attention could not escape it. The beer and wine section at the grocery store was like a huge scary trap, waiting for me to come browse. In a restaurant, I was well aware of who was drinking at the tables surrounding me, and I was watching how each person drank. When I was with people who were drinking, I kept count of how much they’d had. Unfinished drinks still bother me. I’m still especially vulnerable to the next drink during the holiday season.

During the Christmas and New Year holidays, alcohol presents a special fascination and a dangerous threat. How does a newly sober alcoholic avoid the temptation?

This week, I invite you to share your experiences with alcohol during the holiday season and your strategies for staying sober at a time of year when it seems almost everyone else is drinking. Of course, please share on anything you need to talk about.

 

Dec 08: Boundaries and Expectations

Boundaries and Expectations

The holiday season is upon us. And for me this brings up resounding gratitude for my sobriety and the choices I am making to take care of myself.

Obligations I used to feel at this time of year would trigger automatic behaviors (going home for the holidays, buying presents). Today, I examine my motives and make choices.

One choice I make is to celebrate the season with my partner, instead of visiting my family of origin.

My aim is to practice the principles of the steps in all my affairs. If I can’t show up and be the person my HP wants me to be, I need to take a step back and/or disengage. I need to set a boundary.

When I go to holiday events and find myself waiting to be paid back somehow—I have an expectation. My motive, in other words, is not to show up and be of service. In these situations, I back up until I find something I can give with an easy heart. Sometimes, I can’t find anything. And that’s okay. It’s my boundary, so I can change it!

In the past year I was surprised to discover that I can be in contact with my dad. I have found the parameters (boundaries) that allow me to give to him without feeling I have sold myself out in the hopes of winning his approval. I can engage without expectation and allow him to be who he is.

That is a Christmas miracle, folks!

Please feel free to share on the topic or whatever is going on in your Program. I’m looking forward to your shares.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.

X Kirsten

Dec 01: Step 12

Step 12: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.”

Joy of living is the theme of the Twelfth step. Action its keyword. Giving that asks no reward. Love that has no price tag. What is spiritual awakening? A new state of consciousness and being is received as a free gift. Readiness to receive gift lies in practice of the Twelve steps. The magnificent reality. Rewards of helping other alcoholics. Kinds of Twelfth step work. Problems of Twelfth Step work. What about the practice of these principles in ALL our affairs? Monotony, pain, and calamity turned to good use by the practice of the Steps. Difficulties of practice. “Two Stepping” and demonstrations of faith. Growing spiritually is the answer to our problems. Placing spiritual growth first. Domination and over-dependence. Putting our lives on give-and-take basis. Dependence upon God necessary to recovery of alcoholic. “Practicing theses principles in ALL our affairs.” Domestic relations in A.A. Outlook upon material matters changes. So do feelings about personal importance. Instincts restored to true purpose. Understanding is key to right attitudes, right action key to good living.
(From, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions Table of Contents).
This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 60). There’s more in Chapter 7 (Working with Others), starting on p. 89, which is all about the 12th step. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

Holy Cow Batman, There’s a lot to talk about in this step. Please feel free to pick the line that speaks to your heart and share on it.

For me service is not about fixing changing or helping anyone, service is about myself. It’s about giving what I have to offer without expecting recognition or reward. It is about doing what needs to be done, as I am asked, to the best of my ability. It means giving 100 percent of my attention to what I am doing, as long as I can do so without causing myself harm. Anything more is an attempt to gain control, and anything less is a dis-service. There is a fine line between being of service and trying to help someone.

For many years I have alienated people by being helpful – controlling in their eyes. It’s been a journey to learn how to be of service, to listen — truly listen — to what someone actually needs, and do JUST that. It’s also become a journey to freedom. Freedom from the insanity in my head of trying to figure out what people want. I have and am learning to ask what someone needs.

Please feel free to share on any part of this step that resonates with you. Ladies, the meeting is now yours.

January Tradition Meeting – Tradition 1

January: Tradition 1

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 1.  The Traditions are what guide most AA groups. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 1 ***

“Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

February Tradition Meeting – Tradition 2

February: Tradition 2

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 2. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 2 ***

“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

March Tradition Meeting – Tradition 3

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 3. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 3 ***

“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provide that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

April Tradition Meeting – Tradition 4

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 2. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 4 ***

“Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

May Tradition Meeting – Tradition 5

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 5. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 5 ***

“Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose – that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

June Tradition Meeting – June 6

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 6. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 6 ***

“An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to A.A., such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence such facilities ought not to use the A.A. name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A. — and medically supervised. While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

July Tradition Meeting – Tradition 7

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 7.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 7 ***

“Every AA Group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Then too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds with no stated A.A. purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

August Tradition Meeting – Tradition 8

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 8.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 8 ***

“Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional. We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we might otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual A.A. ’12 Step’ work is never to be paid for.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

September Tradition Meeting – Tradition 9

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 9.  The Traditions certainly inform our

*** Tradition 9 ***

“AA., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Each A.A. group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. The small group may elect its secretary, the large group its rotating committee, and the groups of a large metropolitan area their central or intergroup committee, which often employs a full-time secretary. The trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our A.A. General Service Committee. They are the custodians of our A.A. Tradition and the receivers of voluntary A.A. contributions by which we maintain our A.A. General Service Office at New York. They are authorized by the groups to handle our over-all public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principle newspaper, the A.A. Grapevine. All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service, for true leaders in A.A. are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole. They derive no real authority from their titles; they do not govern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

October Tradition Meeting – Tradition 10

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 10.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 10 ***

“Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues–particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

November Tradition Meeting – Tradition 11

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 11.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 11 ***

“Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

December Tradition Meeting – Tradition 12

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 12.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 12 ***

“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

Monthly Tradition Meeting

Monthly Tradition Meeting Letter Templates

Below is a list of letter templates for the monthly tradition meeting.

January Step Meeting – Step 1

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 1

We are all invited to share on Step 1. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 1 ***
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more – the Big Book opens with Bill’s Story (which details how one of the A.A. founders found that he was powerless over alcohol and that his life was unmanageable) and I think Chapter 3, “More About Alcoholism” talks about this in detail. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

 

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

February Step Meeting – Step 2

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 2

We are all invited to share on Step 2. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 2 ***
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 4 (We Agnostics), starting about page 44. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

March Step Meeting – Step 3

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 3

We are all invited to share on Step 3. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives

*** Step 3 ***
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 5, starting on p. 60. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

April Step Meeting – Step 4

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 4

We are all invited to share on Step 4. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives

*** Step 4 ***
“Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.”
This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s a lot more in Chapter 5, starting on p. 64. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

May Step Meeting – Step 5

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 5

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Step 5 and Tradition 5. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives. The traditions are what guide most AA groups. The traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Step 5 ***
“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6, starting on p. 72. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

June Step Meeting – Step 6

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 6

We are all invited to share on Step 6. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 6 ***
“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting about page 75. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

July Step Meeting – Step 7

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 7

We are all invited to share on Step 7. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 7 ***
“Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting at the top of page 76. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

August Step Meeting – Step 8

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 8

We are all invited to share on Step 8. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 8 ***
“Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting in the middle of page 76. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

September Step Meeting – Step 9

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 9

We are all invited to share on Step 9. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 9 ***
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s much more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting in the middle of page 76. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

October Step Meeting – Step 10

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 10

We are all invited to share on Step 10. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 10 ***
“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting in the middle of page 84. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

November Step Meeting – Step 11

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 11

We are all invited to share on Step 11. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 11 ***
“Sought through prayer and meditation to increase our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting at the bottom of p. 85. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

December Step Meeting – Step 12

Welcome to the Sunday meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women. My name is **** and I am an alcoholic.

Let’s start the meeting with a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer, for the alcoholic who still suffers both in and out of these rooms.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Our preamble is as follows:

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of people who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership: we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution: does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

“How It Works” from Chapter Five of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it — then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol–cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power–that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

****************************************************************

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles.

We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

*****************************************************************

And our 12 Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A. A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority–a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A. A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A. A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose — to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A. A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A. A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A. A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A. A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

*****************************************************************

Topic for the week: Step 12

We are all invited to share on Step 12. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 12 ***
“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 60). There’s more in Chapter 7 (Working with Others), starting on p. 89, which is all about the 12th step. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

****************************************************************

An excerpt from the Big Book on pages 83-84.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.

Thanks for attending this meeting.

“The Preamble is Reprinted with permission of the A.A Grapevine, Inc.”

“The Steps and Traditions are Reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.”

Nov 24: AA and God

Tools in AA that are parallel to tools in my Christian walk:
Take a day at a time; worrying today is interest that may never need to be collected.
Have the faith that God will always be there for me. Wherever I travel AA will be there for me.
I do not have to face anything on my own, God proves over and over he will be there for me. AA is a we program. People in the rooms keep me sober.
AA is my strength, God is my strength.
AA works if you work the program, God works if you believe in him.
Alcohol is the enemy. The secular way of the world is the enemy.
The more we read the Big Book the more we understand about alcoholism and how to live a joyful content life. The more we read the Bible the more we learn about God’s word and how to live a joyful content life.
What is a God shot we hear in AA versus Divine intervention?
The longer I am sober and the longer I hang out in the rooms of AA whether it is f2f meetings or online meetings, I experience the promises of AA as I have experienced the promises of God.
I would love to hear of your similarities in AA and God.

Nov 17: Isolation

I am so grateful to be sober and be able to lead this meeting. Thank you for being here.

Isolation has been a big thing for me all throughout my 20s as well as my first handful of months of sobriety. While drinking, I always wanted to drown out the world and the noise in my head. It was always self inflicted isolation.

Now, in sobriety, I am what is referred to as a loner in the AA lingo, as in I do not have an AA community where I live here in Indonesia. I never have had local meetings and thank God I found GROW in the first week of sobriety and finally an online sponsor a little later on or else I don’t think I would’ve gotten very far. Here, I have experienced physical isolation with being in a new country and community all while getting sober.

For a long time I didn’t feel comfortable letting anyone but my therapist know what was going on so I just stayed with my familiar habit of thinking that others ‘just won’t get it.’ I made myself miserably sad those first few months.

I found out there was one other AAer in town at around 6 months of sobriety and soon after was able to go to my first F2F meetings in Bali for a weekend. Connecting was key to moving through some of my self loathing I still harbored as I worked through steps 4 & 5.

My AA friend in town moved away a couple of weeks ago and I’m observing the difference between being ‘alone’ now versus what I felt in the beginning.

As the Big Book says, by sticking with the program and working the steps:’… we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we’ve always had.’ – 12 &12 Step 5

Now, after working through step 7 and having a lot of conversations with God, I don’t feel isolated. I am alone in a lot of respects, but I don’t feel lonely. I like to think of this as feeling safe and finally honest in my solitude with God instead of feeding into the sadness and stinking thinking. This particular pity party is over and I intend to keep working on my emotional sobriety to keep it that way.

I know that this grounded feeling has been gifted to me by my Higher Power as well as the step work I’ve done with my sponsor and the support I’ve found here in GROW. Daily meditation, prayer, breath work, the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra, sobriety podcasts and spiritual texts are the biggest tools that I use to keep this connection strong.

Please feel free to share about your relationship with isolation past or present and how you are growing beyond that damaging coping mechanism.

I look forward to hearing from you all.

Hugs,

Sarah M

Nov 10: Amends and families

Hello, ladies, my name is Suanne and I am an alcoholic. Thank you for allowing me to be of service by chairing this meeting. We have had some great topics lately and I was a little nervous about chairing. I wanted to write something profound and “wow” you (old alcoholic thinking)! I’ve been sober for a few 24 hours and realize that even though alcohol has left my body, I’m still left with the alcoholic mind. 🙂

Yesterday, I had lunch with an old friend who is a normie. She asked me if she could talk to me about her son, who is drinking heavily and “doing what we do.” Her husband and her brother are also alcoholic. I listened and it brought it all back fresh as to how I hurt my family while I was drinking. She’s asking me what she could do and honestly, I could say only to pray for him. It’s so baffling to me even as an alcoholic how crazy our disease is and how crazy it makes us and I HAVE the disease. So think about how our family members are confused. The difference in cancer and alcoholism – both equally fatal diseases – is that alcoholism destroys families, careers, finances, health along the way. Cancer doesn’t do that. And a normie looks as us and says: why can’t you just stop?

I can’t tell you the number of times I swore to my son that I would not drink again – and meant it with every fiber of my being – yet by the time the hangover started wearing off, I was figuring out which liquor store to go to that day. It was a cycle born of addiction.

The good news I could tell her was that there is a solution — after alcohol takes you down (and the elevator only goes down if you are an alcoholic like me). But most alcoholics won’t stop until we do hit bottom. I told her I was grateful for my bottom because I remember it like it was yesterday and that anytime a drink starts looking good, I remember that bottom, play the tape all the way through, and it looks like poison again. I told her the solution gave me back my life and gave me a connection to God that I would not have had without it. Relationships have been restored, finances better, health better… but that all came after I hit bottom and started working the program.

I was happy I am in AA and could show her that recovery is possible. Every day is a living amends to my family. I now have a blended family of 4 kids and 7 grands with another on the way .. Only my son has seen me drunk but he has forgiven me (thank you God) and life is much better than I could ever have imagined, all thanks to God and the AA program and you.

So I’d ask you to think about your families. Where has your journey led you with amends and your families? I know some are struggling, some have restored families, some have new families. Can you share some hope for those who are still struggling? God works miracles and please don’t leave 5 minutes before your miracle happens.

I hope this wasn’t too long.

Suanne G
DOS 6-20-01

Nov 03: Step 11

We are all invited to share on Step 11. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives. We look forward to your shares.

*** Step 11 ***
“Sought through prayer and meditation to increase our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting at the bottom of p. 85. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***
You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

Hello friends, my name is Emily M and I am an alcoholic. Today, I am sharing with you about Step Eleven: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

I have found many times, that while I think I’m working this step, or want to be working this step, I feel some sort of block in prayer. Like I’m not sure I’m “doing it right”. Sometimes upon examination, I find that I’m maybe praying for selfish wants and not for the will of God to be done and instead for the will of Emily to be done.

My ego, my self on its own, as an alcoholic woman, really can get strong, really can become cunning baffling and powerful like only this disease can, and only crisis situations force me to truly humbly seek my HP in prayer and meditation the way this program actually says to. And funny thing is, once I get out of my own way and begin to do that, sure enough God had a plan the whole time, I just needed to seek Him and stop talking and crying and thinking long enough to receive that plan…aka meditation.

So today, I read in the 12 and 12, and I found this “guide” for how to make a start. It suggested finding a good prayer, one you relate to, and it suggested this one and said the following:

“Lord, make me a channel of thy peace—that where there is hatred, I may bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that where there is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt, I may bring faith—that where there is despair, I may bring hope—that where there are shadows, I may bring light—that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted—to understand, than to be understood—to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.”

“As beginners in meditation, we might now reread this prayer several times very slowly, savoring every word and trying to take in the deep meaning of each phrase and idea. It will help if we can drop all resistance to what our friend says. For in meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts of someone who knows, so that we may experience and learn.

“As though lying upon a sunlit beach, let us relax and breathe deeply of the spiritual atmosphere with which the grace of this prayer surrounds us. Let us become willing to partake and be strengthened and lifted up by the sheer spiritual power, beauty, and love of which these magnificent words are the carriers. Let us look now upon the sea and ponder what its mystery is; and let us lift our eyes to the far horizon, beyond which we shall seek all those wonders still unseen.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 99-100

For me getting back to our texts always helps me find answers to my life’s problems whether they be big or small. I’ve found there’s no problem bigger than my HP. This meeting and text reminds me that it’s not all about me, but about serving others and being “on the beam” ourselves, in all our joys and in our trials.

I invite you to share about your relationship with Step 11, where it’s taken you, what practices you’ve found work, what you’ve found gets you in trouble.

Thank you for the honor of chairing this meeting.

Love,
Emily M.
DOS 9/1/10

Oct 27: Gratitude

Hi Growing Women. My name is Alison B and I am an alcoholic. I had an opportunity to travel with a group of AA women to Mexico last week for a women’s retreat. I did not attend with any expectations; I had no agenda for myself. As some of you know, I lived in this same area of Mexico for 10 years, 8 of which were on my sailboat raising my two children with my now ex-husband. The journey this past week was an interesting one for me, in that from 1991-93 while living in Mexico aboard my sailboat I was still drinking. These were the last two years of my active disease. I sobered up in La Paz, Mexico in 1993. So the memories for me in Mexico are a mixed bag.

The first AA meeting of the retreat turned out to be the topic of gratitude. As it was a meditation meeting we were led by one of the members. She took us all on quite a journey into the past, the present and the future. As soon as I opened the door to the past I saw myself on my sailboat anchored off shore from where I was currently staying. I found gratitude in my past. It was so very clear to me and the tears began to roll down my cheeks. And in fact, for the entire 20 minutes of the meditation/journey the tears just streamed down my face. (The tears were accompanied by copious amounts of snot near the end. Lol )

The significance of being able to at long last find gratitude in my heart for my past drinking life was a surprise to me. I have been in the rooms of AA for many years, and acceptance of my past was a key to staying sober. But what I did not realize was that the acceptance of my past was very different from gratitude for my past. Something shifted in my perception during that meditation in a most profound way. I became one with my past. It was no longer something that happened, but an integral part of who I am today. It was a warm and friendly feeling towards my past. It’s difficult to put into words.

All I know is that I keep coming back. I love AA and all that it has to offer. I remain open to new ideas and my Higher Power reveals those new ideas to me as I age in the AA program. Gratitude has taken on a whole new meaning for me. My own definition has shifted. This is a gift. It is the gift I traveled to Mexico for, unbeknownst to me. My Higher Power and the 11 other AA women I was sharing the week with gave me the greatest gift of all. They gave me myself. I was whole once again. There was perfection in the moment that words do not convey.

Do not leave before the miracle happens. Keep coming back. This AA sober life is amazing. Thank you to you ladies for the many gifts that you have given me. I love the definition I found. “….kindness awakened by a favor received.”

Webster Dictionary

Gratitude(adj)

the state of being grateful; warm and friendly feeling toward a benefactor; kindness awakened by a favor received; thankfulness

Origin: [F. gratitude, LL. gratitudo, from gratus agreeable, grateful. See Grate, a.] She sent them a present to show/express her gratitude.

Take this as a token of my gratitude for all your help.

Blessings,

Alison B

1019 – Business Meeting Summary

Oct 2019 – Business Meeting Summary

For the October 2019 meeting, 22 members signed up to attend.

The business meeting began on October 1, 2019. Proposal 1.1 was submitted by Tanya Q. to document the job descriptions for WEB Admin, WEB Keeper and WEB Keeper Backup.
There was discussion about the requirements as a grow member, the term of service and the progression of a trusted servant through all 3 positions. We were able to come to agreement and the proposal was approved unanimously on the first vote.

Proposals 2.1 through 2.4 defined the responsibilities of the Sponsor Listkeeper and the Temporary Mentor and the form letters associated with both positions.
There was support for the proposals with the exception of whether or not to email names and email addresses for women willing to sponsor to every new member and the placement of some wording. The proposals were approved with the moving of one paragraph in a letter and the change that online sponsors would be sent to any member who requested the information. The votes on the proposed letters was unanimous. The vote on the job descriptions was not unanimous but did pass by the required 2/3 majority.

Proposal 2.5 was unanimously approved for the elimination of the Newcomer Committee.

Proposal 2.6 changed the language concerning online sponsors to match the proposed job description/ form letters. There was discussion concerning having the GROW member password in the information. Once that was removed, the proposal was unanimously approved.

1019 – Proposal 2.6.a: Online Sponsors Page

Proposal 2.6.a: Change the GROW Webpage to Align with the Changes Suggested Concerning Online Sponsors

Rationale: After removing the available online sponsors webpage, GROW should address using online sponsors to help our members, especially our new members, navigate the process of finding an online sponsor.

(See Recommended Language under Group Conscience Decision below.)


Minority Opinion Discussion on Proposal 2.6.a

  • I disagree because the member is in the members only section, the password is no longer necessary. We could change the language to something like … You can find the current trusted servant’s email in the list of Grow’s current Trusted Servants.
  • I agree with Laurie, in that I think we should delete the last sentence of the last paragraph that addresses the password. It’s not needed because the member would already be in the members’ section. Therefore, I change my vote to “No.”
  • I also feel the password should be deleted/is unnecessary
  • Thank you, members. Here is why I voted No on Proposal 2.6 for the Sponsor pages. I agree with Laurie’s comment and I would like to add that I want our new web site to be accurate. It would be nice to keep it simple and not filled with errors and redundancies.
  • The web site password on this page is redundant and should be excluded. Not only that, but it could confuse a new member, since the website will not call for the password again.
  • To me this could be seen as a housekeeping item and taken care of by webkeepers, but since it came up in the Proposal, we need to straighten it out in the business meeting.

Results of Voting on Proposal 2.6.a

Proposal 2.6.a received 14 yes and 0 no votes. The motion passes.


Group Conscience Decision

Add the introductory paragraphs to the online sponsor webpage at g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/online-sponsors/ that addresses online sponsorship.

Many of us have found there is nothing like a live voice at the end of the phone, or a warm hug in face-to-face contact when we are overwhelmed with a problem in our lives. On-line sponsorship can add another dimension to your recovery as do on-line meetings. Each month, GROW provides a list of available online sponsors who have volunteered for this service. Please be aware that you can also ask anyone in GROW to be your sponsor. Online sponsors are not limited to this list. Know that it may take a few trials to find the right fit for you in a Sponsor.

GROW’s Sponsor Listkeeper sends out the list of available online sponsors at the beginning of each month. If you want to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can find the e-mail address of the current Trusted Servant by going to the Members section on our website at http://g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/. At the bottom of the page will be a link to the current roster. Look for the Sponsor Listkeeper on that list.

1019 – Proposal 2.4.a: Temp Mentor Letter #1

Proposal 2.4.a: Replace the existing Temporary Mentor Letter #1 with the following.

Hi [ New Member Name ],

I am [ Mentor Name ], Temporary Mentor for GROW. I see that you joined GROW recently and I’d like to welcome you! In the past, some members have found our information overwhelming at first, so we created this position (Temporary Mentor) as a helpful resource should you have questions and/or concerns about how our group and/or AA works.

Each month, our Sponsor Listkeeper sends out a list of women in GROW who have volunteered to sponsor our members. For your convenience, I include the current list at the bottom of this note. You can watch for shares from these women on the mailing list. When you read a share that touches you personally or that reflects what you want in sobriety, I recommend that you write to them. After you know them better, you can ask them to sponsor you. The Sponsor Listkeeper can send you a list of available sponsors in GROW.  Please be aware that you can ask anyone in GROW to sponsor you. You do not have to limit your choices to the List of Available Online Sponsors. In case you would like to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can write to her at [SLK e-mail].

Just a reminder that you can learn more about AA by visiting one of these links:

  • The Alcoholics Anonymous general services office and information such as the AA Big Book (titled “Alcoholics Anonymous”) or the “12 Steps and 12 Traditions,” along with many pamphlets as well as links to local resources for AA.
  • AA’s Online Intergroup (OIAA) where you can find meeting lists as well as real-time phone numbers and other Internet types of meetings.
  • AA’s Grapevine magazine with stories and audio stories and Grapevine subscription options.

It would be my pleasure to correspond with you by email (or phone) so if you’d like some help, just let me know. Thanks.

Temporary Mentor Name ]
GROW Temporary Mentor

[List of Available Sponsors]

Rationale:  The letter on the test website is outdated and does not reflect changes that were approved in the October 2018 and April 2019 business meetings. The second paragraph in the proposed letter reflects those decisions and a change that is necessary given our Group Conscience decision to eliminate the Available Online Sponsors webpage from GROW’s website. It also reminds newcomers that they can ask anyone in GROW to be their sponsor.


Minority Opinion Discussion on Proposal 2.4.a

I disagree because – the list for sponsors should be available by request. Not simply sent to all the new members .

I like all in red, except the sentence beginning *for your convenience* which I think should be omitted. This is because the woman has already been informed (in same letter) to look out for a twice monthly list shared to the group. I too believe she needs to ask for this herself.

Also, we’re living in a techno age where info is shared too easily by some. We have lots of new members who are young and so are switched on to tech/phone. I don’t think this info should be prone to being put out there any more than it already is.

I disagree with including the sponsor list in the letter. I think it could easily be shared out.

I agree with Louise and Laurie. Remove the struck out sentences and I am good to go.s Laurie.

 


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.4.a

Proposal 2.4.a has passed, 12 yes and 1 no, so we achieved 2/3 majority.


Group Conscience Decision

Proposal 2.4.a has passed, 12 yes and 1 no, so we achieved 2/3 majority.

Recommended language for the Temporary Mentor Letter is now as follows.

Hi [ New Member Name ],

I am [ Mentor Name ], Temporary Mentor for GROW. I see that you joined GROW recently and I’d like to welcome you! In the past, some members have found our information overwhelming at first, so we created this position (Temporary Mentor) as a helpful resource should you have questions and/or concerns about how our group and/or AA works.

Just a reminder that you can learn more about AA by visiting one of these links:

  • The Alcoholics Anonymous general services office and information such as the AA Big Book (titled “Alcoholics Anonymous”) or the “12 Steps and 12 Traditions,” along with many pamphlets as well as links to local resources for AA.
  • AA’s Online Intergroup (OIAA) where you can find meeting lists as well as real-time phone numbers and other Internet types of meetings.
  • AA’s Grapevine magazine with stories and audio stories and Grapevine subscription options.

Each month, our Sponsor Listkeeper sends out a list of women in GROW who have volunteered to sponsor our members. When you read a share that touches you personally or that reflects what you want in sobriety, I recommend that you write to them. After you know them better, you can ask them to sponsor you. The Sponsor Listkeeper can send you a list of available sponsors in GROW.  Please be aware that you can ask anyone in GROW to sponsor you. You do not have to limit your choices to the List of Available Online Sponsors. In case you would like to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can write to her at [SLK e-mail].

It would be my pleasure to correspond with you by email (or phone) so if you’d like some help, just let me know. Thanks.

Temporary Mentor Name ]
GROW Temporary Mentor

1019 – Proposal 2.3.a: Temp Mentor Job Desc

Proposal 2.3.a:  Revise the Temporary Mentor job description to add a bullet for coordinating with the Sponsor Listkeeper to assure new members have the current GROW Sponsor List.


Minority Opinion Discussion on Proposal 2.3.a

I disagree with providing all new members the list. I believe the list itself needs to be a request There for the job description needs not state this as a requirement for this position .

I voted ‘no’ for the very same reason stated by Laurie below (above).

I d like the list to be a request, not included in the email, and also voted no.

Nicely done. However – Work with the Sponsor Listkeeper to assign a Temporary Sponsor when requested, —is fine. But –
provide new members the email address for Sponsor Listkeeper, and include a link to the web page with the password for members with instructions to select the ONLINE SPONSOR page for more information.
– should be removed –
All of this information is in the FYI PAGE. Sent out by the greeters. And in temp mentor letter one. So it is not a separate task- and redundant info .
I would suggest using bullet points for separate tasks , And I would remove this last sentence.

My exact reasons for voting no.  Leave the list off and I am good with the rest of it. As below.
Work with the Sponsor Listkeeper to assign a Temporary Sponsor when requested, provide new members a link to the Sponsor Listkeeper, and include the current list of GROW Sponsors at the bottom of Temporary Mentor #1 form letter.

Agree with Laurie that the Sponsor list should not be sent to all members by our Temporary Mentor. Only those who want the list should be sent it. They can find it by contacting our Sponsor List Keeper with links that we give them.  This is an simple way to show someone how to begin to take responsibility for themselves and to learn how to ask for help, two basic precepts of early recovery. Having lost confidence in ourselves, when we find the things we do working for us, it restores our confidence and self-worth. Let’s encourage that!

I agree with Gigi.  I think bullet points should definitely be used as that makes easy to read and follow.


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.3.a

Proposal 2.3.a received 19 yes and 0 no votes.


Group Conscience Decision

The Temporary Mentor job description now reads as follows.

Temporary Mentor Job Description

  • 1 year term
  • 1 year of continuous sobriety
  • 1 year membership in GROW
  • Must be a member of the Business List.
  • Will be a member of the Steering Committee.
  • Read GROW mail daily to note when the Greeter introduces new members in order to contact the new member privately to offer additional support in making solid connection with the Group and/or AA.
  • About 2-3 days after she joins, contact each new member to explain your position as Temporary Mentor (TM), offering to answer questions or provide guidance until the member feels comfortable in the GROW group (see Temporary Mentor #1 form letter).
  • Work with the Sponsor Listkeeper to assign a Temporary Sponsor when requested and provide new members a link to the Sponsor Listkeeper.
  • Refer the newcomer to other online AA resources, as well as ways to find face-to-face AA resources.
  • Maintain working relationship with, and assist new member as needed with learning, GROW email etiquette guidelines.
  • Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them.
  • Common duties and requirements to all Trusted Servant positions is described here.

Oct 20: We Are Not Alone

We Are Not Alone

“Our first woman alcoholic had been a patient of Dr. Harry Tiebout’s, and he had handed her a pre-publication manuscript copy of the Big Book. The first reading made her rebellious, but the second convinced her. Presently she came to a meeting held in our living room, and from there she returned to the sanitarium carrying this classic message to a follow patient: “ We aren’t alone any more.“
AA Comes Of Age, p18.
In AA I have found more fellowship and more genuine friendship with women than I ever did when drinking. When I was drinking I was always in competition with other women. I never felt comfortable in the presence of other women. I always felt inferior to other women.
Of course, one of my major complaints about going to AA was the fact that I was a woman. In my mind I was convinced that only men were alcoholic. That I would only find dirty old men at AA.
My first meeting was a young person’s group held in a church hall (of course), and the first people I met were three young ladies. It was these women who kept me coming back. Coming back keeps me sober.
One of these young ladies gave me a Big Book. When I got to the chapter, “There Is A Solution”, I knew this was going to work. Chapter 5 taught me I had to be prepared “to go to any lengths to get it .“ I was, because by the time I got this far in the Big Book, I had been to enough meetings to know I wanted what you had.
I have been reading the Big Book ever since. I love the stories in the back, especially the women’s stories. I read and reread the chapters. It’s where I start my day and it’s where I end my day.
This group, GROW, has been my mainstay for a long time now. I joined in ‘99. I have been very quiet in the past few years because my physical health has been bad and I’ve spent a lot of time in hospital. When I’m in hospital my Big Book goes with me.
Please share with us this week on your experience as a woman in AA or how coming into AA you’ve found affinity with other women, or what the Big Book has done for you. Or on anything else.
Bobby
DOS 12/6/89
PS: the Big Book is the book entitled “Alcoholics Anonymous”.

Oct 13: Speaking to your newly-sober self

Speaking to your newly-sober self

Dear friends in G.R.O.W.– I’m Louise and I’m an alcoholic, very grateful for the sobriety I have today, both physical, emotional and spiritual.   Welcome to all our newcomers too.
What would I tell my newly-sober self to put her at ease if the mature sober me, well over three continuously sober decades later, could go back as I am now and sit with her for a few hours…?
The newly-sober me was 30-yrs old, an emotional mess, with such a past gathered up behind her, which she carried about inside her.   She’d been hospitalized many times, and had left a trail of chaos in her wake.    She gave a child up for adoption, and lost custody of her son and her marriage broke up. She’d married a father figure in the rooms of AA—almost 13 years older than her.    She suffered from what our Book talks of as a ‘grave emotional and mental disorder’.     Today she might even have been classified with a personality disorder.     She’d been in and out of AA since 19 years of age.   She truly thought she was different.    AA didn’t work for her. And no matter how hard she tried to stop (hundreds of times), she always went back to drinking. But she’d come back one last time, as she knew (like the psychiatrist told her a year or so before) she’d be dead by 30.    She came back, broken and willing to be taught.    She put down that first drink, for one day.

I’d gently tell her the following:
Louise, if you only knew the peace you will experience, and how it will all work out, you would let go and let God in fully now. 🙂
Get a sponsor, go through the steps, and let the magic of this program unfold little by little within you. Don’t listen to your head’s stinkin’ thinkin’. Get to a meeting instead.
Get into service in any way at all in meetings. Stay with service always.
You don’t need to worry any more. You are safe in the hands of a Power greater than you.
Don’t be scared; you are going to experience a way of life beyond your wildest dreams, even when the going is tough. Life is tough at times for everyone but you will grow through it all.
Keep trusting that you are being looked after and guided. You ‘have entered the world of the spirit’. (p 84 BB)
You will experience a growing peace that deepens through the years of living this way.
You will have lost the desire to drink by the time you are seven months sober (for me, that is, up until today).
You will come to listen to that still small voice within, which guides you in your decision-making.
You will build a relationship with a Power that gets more intimate as time goes on.
You will begin to leave your world of self and move out into an other-centered world—there will come a point when you realize that you genuinely can put others’ needs before your own. Even when your own problems are looming– especially when your own problems are looming you will look to help others!!
You will come to a point in your life when it becomes hard to even imagine how you are now. That’s because your true personality will have a chance to emerge. And you will love it. You will no longer feel lower than a snake’s belly…
All the conflict within your mind that you find hard to live with will lessen, little by little, through time. Just keep sharing..
God will untangle all the mess that no psychiatrist ever could do.
You will be a rock for your sons and family.
You will build a life which involves going back to school, new career, and you will become a person people can rely on. You will be valued in the society in which you move.
You will learn to accept that you are powerless over people, places and things. And this is a lifetime job but you will get better at it as your experience of life and being sober grows.
You will sit and marvel that you have been fortunate enough to have been given this gift…

Ladies, I invite you to share on what you would tell your newly-sober self if you could go back in a time machine and sit with her for an hour or two..
And for those newly-sober members of our group, please just share on anything I have brought up.
For the new members of our group, we’d truly love to hear you share.

1019 – Proposal 2.6: Online Sponsors page

Proposal 2.6: Changes Concerning Online Sponsors:
Add the following introductory paragraphs to the online sponsor webpage at g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/online-sponsors/ that addresses online sponsorship.

Recommended Language: Many of us have found there is nothing like a live voice at the end of the phone, or a warm hug in face-to-face contact when we are overwhelmed with a problem in our lives. On-line sponsorship can add another dimension to your recovery as do on-line meetings. Each month, GROW provides a list of available online sponsors who have volunteered for this service. Please be aware that you can also ask anyone in GROW to be your sponsor. Online sponsors are not limited to this list. Know that it may take a few trials to find the right fit for you in a Sponsor.

GROW’s Sponsor Listkeeper sends out the list of available online sponsors at the beginning of each month. If you want to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can find the e-mail address of the current Trusted Servant by going to the Members section on our website at http://g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/. At the bottom of the page will be a link to the current roster. Look for the Sponsor Listkeeper on that list. You’ll need the password to enter the Members’ section. It’s sobertodayhow2484.”

Rationale: After removing the available online sponsors webpage, GROW should address using online sponsors to help our members, especially our new members, navigate the process of finding an online sponsor.


Discussion on Proposal 2.6

Joan, I think maybe the committee overlooked the paragraph starting with “many of us have found….
I don’t see the need to include it twice. It appears in the Sponsor List Announcement and in the introductory paragraph about online sponsorship. My opinion.

Thank you for forwarding the comment, Joan. However, I disagree. The reason for duplicating the language is to be consistent from one GROW source to another. Proposal 2.2 is for the Sponsor List Announcement form letter that the Sponsor Liskeeper sends out each month, while Proposal 2.6 adds the same language to our website page on sponsors will will remain the same over time. To me, the issue isn’t how many times it’s said but whether we are consistent in GROW’s different ‘publications.’

My one concern about this is that our password is printed in this. I’d like to see our password remain in emails. I would prefer not to see it printed on Members pages. I know, someone has to have already used it to have gotten to the Members pages. Then they don’t need it again, do they?

Thanks for the clarification Danna & Gigi. I agree this is about having consistency across our “publications”.

I had not thought of that, thank you Gigi! I agree

This sounds great— I agree with the proposed changes.


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.6

Proposal 2.6 received 14 yes and 4 no votes. The minority opinion will present.


Group Conscience Decision:

Add the Recommended Language as the first two paragraphs on GROW’s Online Sponsor webpage at http://g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/online-sponsors/.

1019 – Proposal 2.5: Newcomer Committee

Proposal 2.5: This proposal is made to eliminate the Newcomer Committee

Rationale: The Newcomers Committee was created in the October 2018 business meeting to provide support to the Temporary Mentor. As proposed, the committee would have been made up of women who are new to sobriety – to whom new members to GROW and sobriety could better relate. When the Temporary Mentor called for volunteers, no newcomers volunteered; however, several women with long-term sobriety did volunteer.

The committee began with 11 members, but two of them have withdrawn. Of the nine remaining members, two are willing at this time to be temporary sponsors for new GROW members. The current Temporary Mentor has not experienced workload conflicts and has not had to call on the committee for help except to find a temporary sponsor for the one new member who have asked about it.

While established to help both the Temporary Mentor and new GROW members who are also new to sobriety, the Newcomer Committee did not achieve the goal of having members within their first year of sobriety. Rather, the members have long-term sobriety. Further, only two of the nine members are, at this time, available to be Temporary Sponsors for new members. The current Temporary Mentor has been able to handle the workload without recourse to the Committee. Therefore, the Newcomers Committee has been inactive and is not needed.


Discussion on Proposal 2.5

Sadly this was a flat-out bust. F2f practice did not translate well into the online world.

Is this something that has worked in the past? Maybe we could try for another round of the committee? I know I would’ve liked that when I first signed up. I personally try to reach out to the new women because I have heard that it’s hard for them to relate to the shares. Then again, maybe it hasn’t worked because the need hasn’t been strong enough. I don’t know the demographic of the people signing up. The group definitely does seem to be made up of people who find online support once they’re already established in their sobriety.

It is interesting that a lot of women coming to GROW now have some sobriety under their belts and may not need the Newcomer help – and I do believe that many of us reach out to the newcomers – maybe it isn’t necessary. The orientation to the site and the shares are important and the digest is always there. Just my thoughts.

By way of explanation, we had an incident in which a newcomer asked someone on the sponsor list to sponsor her, and did not get a reply for over a week. Or maybe she never got one. I was Immediate Past TM and the one who was doing the job at the time consulted with me. We came up with this idea, and in GROW once we have a group conscience in place, it must stand for a minimum of one year.
This is the end of that year. The idea was mine and I felt it was risky. This is something that does not translate well from the f2f world to online. In early sobriety I had a f2f sponsor and she directed me in a meeting to go talk to a newcomer. I would never have thought I had anything to offer. I learned that day that sometimes a newcomer can relate better to someone with a month than 15 years. But without that encouragement to go do it, online newcomers will not step forth, we have found. There have been no shortage of newcomers this year, yet you are the only one who has stepped up. So I don’t think this will work.
GROW has Greeters, Sponsor listkeeper and sponsors, Temporary Mentor, and 12th Step Volunteers with a listkeeper for that group. IMHO we do lots to support newcomers. We encourage new members to go to f2f meetings and functions and to find f2f sponsors. At some point it is up to each new member to put together her own spiritual tool kit. The fact is, sometimes people have to go out again to realize that they need this. We are here to plant seeds as well as to nurture new recovery and support on-going recovery. I hesitate to share this because it is long. Thank you for bearing with me.

I think the ad hoc committee has done a great job of ensuring that new women in particular have access to a temporary sponsor. Many thanks, guys, for the work put in here.
The newcomer committee didn’t work out, Sarah. I was TM after Gigi (and just before Danna) and, due to approx eight women all at once calling out for help, I was spending a lot of time writing back and forth. Gigi suggested a NC so we tried it out. However, that brief period of the eight needing help wasn’t repeated (not in my time left as TM and I don’t think in the present TM’s experience).
I think establishing a close-working link (as has been suggested by the committee) between the sponsor listkeeper and the TM will serve the same purpose as the NC was originally intended to serve. This way, though, the women willing to be sponsors will be able to indicate whether they will be available as temporary sponsors too. I like it. It’s simple and straightforward. Less convoluted as we were in danger of having too many pathways for the newcomers and none closely enough aligned as to ensure effective communication.

Thank you Gigi and Louise for clarifying this. I thought that the NC was a great idea but if you both say there is no need, I’m all for simplicity.

I also appreciate the clarification and feel that we have the positions in place to adequately address the needs of newcomers if and when they are willing.

 


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.5

Voting: Seventeen (17) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 2.5. Therefore, Proposal 2.5 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

  • The Newcomer Committee has been eliminated.

1019 – Proposal 2.4: Temp Mentor Form Letter #1

Proposal 2.4: Change the existing Temporary Mentor Letter #1 as shown below. 

Rationale: The letter on the test website is outdated and does not reflect changes that were approved in the October 2018 and April 2019 business meetings. The second paragraph in the proposed letter reflects those decisions and a change that is necessary given our Group Conscience decision to eliminate the Available Online Sponsors webpage from GROW’s website. It also reminds newcomers that they can ask anyone in GROW to be their sponsor.

Recommended Language: Add a second paragraph as shown:

Each month, our Sponsor Listkeeper sends out a list of women in GROW who have volunteered to sponsor our members. For your convenience, I include the current list at the bottom of this note. You can watch for shares from these women on the mailing list. When you read a share that touches you personally or that reflects what you want in sobriety, I recommend that you write to them. After you know them better, you can ask them to sponsor you. Please be aware that you can ask anyone in GROW to sponsor you. You do not have to limit your choices to the List of Available Online Sponsors. In case you would like to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can write to her at [ SLK e-mail ].


Discussion on Proposal 2.4

Hi Ladies, I thought the flow of the letter would be better with the new addition closer to the list of sponsors. So I changed it up so you could see how you like it with the different placement. Laurie

  • I like it Laurie, thank you.
  • Again in this proposal as in 2.3, I am reluctant to post the names of our potential sponsors to every new member. This letter states: For your convenience, I include the current list at the bottom of this note. Our committee did not have time to iron this out, so I am bringing it to the business meeting.
  • The SLK (Sponsor List Keeper) letters say nothing about the potential sponsors having their names sent to every new member. There is no way for a potential sponsor to know this will happen. I just don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe no one else minds but I would so I have to say something. And if the group decides to go with the list being sent to every new member, I will accept it.
  • I agree, I like this way too.
  • I like this way too
  • Thank you Laurie. I like it.
  • I also like this appreciate your efforts Laurie.

Results of Voting on Proposal 2.4

Proposal 2.4 received 16 yes and 3 no votes. The minority opinion will present.


Group Conscience Decision:

Recommended language for the Temporary Mentor Letter is adopted as follows:

Hi [ New Member Name ],

I am [ Mentor Name ], Temporary Mentor for GROW. I see that you joined GROW recently and I’d like to welcome you! In the past, some members have found our information overwhelming at first, so we created this position (Temporary Mentor) as a helpful resource should you have questions and/or concerns about how our group and/or AA works.

Each month, our Sponsor Listkeeper sends out a list of women in GROW who have volunteered to sponsor our members. For your convenience, I include the current list at the bottom of this note. You can watch for shares from these women on the mailing list. When you read a share that touches you personally or that reflects what you want in sobriety, I recommend that you write to them. After you know them better, you can ask them to sponsor you. Please be aware that you can ask anyone in GROW to sponsor you. You do not have to limit your choices to the List of Available Online Sponsors. In case you would like to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can write to her at [SLK e-mail].

Just a reminder that you can learn more about AA by visiting one of these links:

  • The Alcoholics Anonymous general services office and information such as the AA Big Book (titled “Alcoholics Anonymous”) or the “12 Steps and 12 Traditions,” along with many pamphlets as well as links to local resources for AA.
  • AA’s Online Intergroup (OIAA) where you can find meeting lists as well as real-time phone numbers and other Internet types of meetings.
  • AA’s Grapevine magazine with stories and audio stories and Grapevine subscription options.

Each month, our Sponsor Listkeeper sends out a list of women in GROW who have volunteered to sponsor our members. When you read a share that touches you personally or that reflects what you want in sobriety, I recommend that you write to them. After you know them better, you can ask them to sponsor you. The Sponsor Listkeeper can send you a list of available sponsors in GROW.  Please be aware that you can ask anyone in GROW to sponsor you. You do not have to limit your choices to the List of Available Online Sponsors. In case you would like to contact our Sponsor Listkeeper, you can write to her at [SLK e-mail].

It would be my pleasure to correspond with you by email (or phone) so if you’d like some help, just let me know. Thanks.

Temporary Mentor Name ]
GROW Temporary Mentor

1019 – Proposal 2.3: Temp Mentor Job Desc

Proposal 2.3: This proposal suggests changes to the Temporary Mentor Job Description


Discussion on Proposal 2.3

Again, my one hesitation with this is that the women who offer to be on the Sponsor list may not realize that their names are going to every new member. I would much rather see new members have to do a little bit of work by reaching out to our Sponsor Listkeeper to obtain that list of names.

Here is my thinking: We have over 400 members now, yet we hear from a small percentage of them. Yet all 400 have received the list of sponsors. I would not put my name out there for that level of exposure. Women who continue to operate on the level of thinking that it’s easy to stop drinking, I’ll just join a group, may not be responsible enough to keep that list close. They may return to drinking and become too careless. They could have saved the list to their contacts and be hacked. It’s just not safe enough for me.

This is a good point. I don’t think it’s a huge barrier to have women take the extra step and request the sponsor list.

Love it. Great work ladies


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.3

Proposal 2.3 received 14 yes and 3 no votes. The minority opinion will present.


 

1019 – Proposal 2.2: Sponsor Listkeeper Form

Proposal 2.2: This proposal suggests changes to the Sponsor Listkeeper form letters

Proposal: Revise the current form letters for the Sponsor Listkeeper so that they are easier to read and focus on only one idea. Separate the content into: (1) monthly mailing to GROW membership announcing the available online sponsees, (2) monthly invitation for GROW members to volunteer to be included on the Sponsor List, and (3) monthly confirmation that people on the sponsor list wish to remain there.


Discussion on Proposal 2.2

Joan, I think maybe the committee overlooked the paragraph starting with “many of us have found….
I don’t see the need to include it twice. It appears in the Sponsor List Announcement and in the introductory paragraph about online sponsorship. My opinion.

Thank you for forwarding the comment, Joan. However, I disagree. The reason for duplicating the language is to be consistent from one GROW source to another. Proposal 2.2 is for the Sponsor List Announcement form letter that the Sponsor Liskeeper sends out each month, while Proposal 2.6 adds the same language to our website page on sponsors will will remain the same over time.
To me, the issue isn’t how many times it’s said but whether we are consistent in GROW’s different ‘publications.’

So…. do we need to include something on the letter to confirm that they still want to be on the sponsor list that they are still a member of GROW and wish to be of service to the membership.

I like the new form letters. I like the system for the SLK.

Thanks for the clarification Danna & Gigi. I agree this is about having consistency across our “publications”.

Following up on Laurie’s point about clarifying that one is a sponsor in GROW, we could simply add “in this group” to the letter where it is now placed in red (below). Letter #3 already mentions that this sponsorship is in GROW.

Alternatively, we could add something to the effect of One must be a member of GROW to be on this list, or something like that at the end of the first paragraph.

Thank you for the amendment. However, I feel the check between the SLK by the Listkeeper to confirm someone is still a current member should remain. I’m not sure why it would be a good idea to take this out. I have done two roles – 12th Step Listkeeper & Sponsor Listkeeper and found it was essential for me to check in with the Listkeeper as members do unsubscribe and it takes the Listkeeper a minute to run the check.

I am suggesting this as an addition to having the SLK confirm with the listkeepers. The persons signing up to be sponsors should know that they are supposed to remain members of our group to stay on the list.

I must say I never thought of it before this meeting but having email addresses that could be shared is a concern. I would be comfortable with keeping the list of available sponsors just on the website. I do feel it should still be required to check monthly with the women to see if they still want to be a sponsor on the list and are still a part of GROW. This is potentially the first contact a new person will make and therefore its important we try to make sure it is correct.


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.2

Voting: Seventeen (17) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 2.2. Therefore, Proposal 2.2 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Updated Sponsor Listkeeper form letters are as follows:

# 1 – Sponsor List Announcement:
Dear Women of GROW,
Grateful Recovering Online Women supports sponsorship. We offer this list to you of women who are willing to sponsor on-line. Many of us have found there is nothing like a live voice at the end of the phone, or a warm hug in a f2f contact when we are overwhelmed with a problem in our lives. On-line sponsorship can add another dimension to your recovery as on-line meetings. Please be aware that you can also ask anyone in GROW to be your sponsor. Online sponsors are not limited to this list. Know that it may take a few trials to find the right fit for you in a Sponsor.

For more information about sponsorship, please visit our web page on sponsorship (g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/online-sponsors/) in GROW’s members only section (password: sobertodayhow2484). You can also find AA’s “Questions and Answers on Sponsorship” at www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf.

List of Available Sponsors:
[list sponsor names and information]
Phone numbers of many on the above list are available upon request.

[Name]
Sponsor Listkeeper

#2 – Sponsor List Invitation [New Form Letter]
Dear Women of GROW,

You can enhance your sobriety by offering to sponsor other alcoholics and share what has been given to you with others. If you would like to offer your name as a potential online sponsor in this group, please review the GROW web page on Sponsorship at g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/online-sponsors/ (Password: sobertodayhow2484). You might also refer to AA’s pamphlet “Questions and Answers on Sponsorship” at aa.org/assets/en_US/p-15_Q&AonSpon.pdf.

If after reviewing this information, you want to add your name to our list, please send me the following information:

· name
· geographic location
· sobriety date
· telephone number (if you wish)
· current e-mail address
· whether you are interested in being a temporary sponsor for a new member to GROW

You will then be added to our Available Online Sponsors list which is sent to the group each month and to those who ask about sponsorship (whether on a temporary or permanent basis). Know the list is updated every month, and you must affirm your desire to stay on the list from month to month. Please know that you may be asked to sponsor newcomers and be alert to a suggested response time of 48 hours.

Thank you,
[Name]
Sponsor Listkeeper

#3 – Sponsor List Confirmation [New Form Letter]
Dear Volunteer:

Thank you for your service this past month by putting your name and contact information forward for being a sponsor in GROW. If you wish to continue next month, please Reply to [Sponsor Listkeeper Name].

If you do not reply by the end of the month, I will remove your name from the list unless and until you contact me again.

If you want to continue to be on the list, please send me any corrections or changes in your sponsor information.

Thank you,
[Name]
Sponsor Listkeeper
[e-mail address]

1019 – Proposal 2: Sponsor Listkeeper TS

Proposal 2: Sponsor Listkeeper job description

This proposal suggests changes to the Sponsor Listkeeper job description.


Rationale: During our discussions on the Temporary Mentor (newcomer committee and providing links to AA resources), it became clear that there are issues related to the Online Available Sponsors list/webpage because the people on that list do not always respond timely (or at all) to newcomers’ requests for help. Further, Available Online Sponsors do not rotate, and the only members that rotate on both the 12th Step List and the Sponsor List are the listkeepers. The Available Online Sponsor webpage creates the impression that only people on the sponsor list can sponsor, which in reality is not the case.


Discussion on Proposal 2.1

My one hesitation about this Proposal is that a person could theoretically no longer be a member of GROW and still remain on the Sponsor list, if the Sponsor Listkeeper does not check in with the listkeepers monthly or so.  Someone could unsub (either by themself through our admin pages or through the listkeepers) and still be receiving letters from the SLK, responding to them, and remaining on the Sponsor list.  It's a really small detail so I hesitate to even bring it up, but something keeps telling me to mention it.

I am in agreement about keeping in the checks to ensure those on the sponsor list are actually still subscribed members of GROW. This is a requirement of others eg 12th Step Listkeeper- to check monthly. Thanks Gigi for the clarification as to why this is important.

I’m not sure we made clear enough our total proposal for the Sponsor Listkeeper (SLK). There are three form letters proposed, instead of the one that exists today. They break up the things the SLK is doing into three discrete actions each month:

  1. Presenting the list of available sponsors to the group
  2. Asking for volunteers to be sponsors in GROW
  3. Confirming that women on the sponsor list want to stay on the sponsor list

We did drop the requirement for the SLK to check with the listkeepers to see if women are still members of GROW. There is a time limit on the ladies' response to the SLK. If they do not respond timely, they will be dropped from the list automatically. While there was not unanimous agreement on this point, most of the participants in the Ad Hoc Committee felt that would be sufficient. The women currently in those positions did not think it necessary.

I must say I never thought of it before this meeting but having email addresses that could be shared is a concern. I would be comfortable with keeping the list of available sponsors just on the website. I do feel it should still be required to check monthly with the women to see if they still want to be a sponsor on the list and are still a part of GROW. This is potentially the first contact a new person will make and therefore its important we try to make sure it is correct.


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.1

Voting: Seventeen (17) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 2.1. Therefore, Proposal 2.1 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

The Sponsor Listkeeper job description is revised as shown, deleting bullets that have been struck out and adding the bullets shown in red.

Sponsor Listkeeper Job Description
  • 6 month term
  • 1 year sobriety
  • Must be member of Business List.
  • Maintains a list of group members who are willing to sponsor online, including: first name, last initial, DOS, email address, location of residence.
  • At the term’s beginning and midterm, confirms sponsor volunteers are still GROW members.
  • Twice each month sends reminders to the group that the list is available upon request.
  • Forwards sponsor list to members when requested.
  • At least once each month, mails sponsor list to the group (see Sponsor List Announcement form letter). May want to resend if someone on the list drops out mid-month.
  • Each month, invites GROW members to volunteer to be online sponsors (see Sponsor List Invitation form letter).
  • Each month, verifies that each woman on the list of available online sponsors want to continue to serve as a temporary or permanent sponsor (see Sponsor List Confirmation form letter).
  • The Listkeeper and Sponsor Listkeeper will coordinate to ensure that when someone unsubs, if that person is listed on the Sponsor List, her name will be deleted from the list of available sponsors as well.
  • The Sponsor Listkeeper will work with the Temporary Mentor to assure that newcomers who want a sponsor are assigned a temporary sponsor.
  • Common duties and requirements to all Trusted Servant positions is described here.
  • Wording for letter commonly used is provided in the link below:
  • Sponsor List Announcement
  • Sponsor List Invitation
  • Sponsor List Confirmation

1019 – Proposal 1: Website Trusted Servants

Proposal 1: Website TS Job Descriptions

Updated Web Admin, Web-keeper and Backup Web-keeper Job Descriptions.


Discussion on Proposal 1

Joan. This email didn’t come thru properly.  I’m not sure about three proposals.

However it is not physically possible to have served as webkeeper (non-rotating).  And have a minimum two years sobriety / two years membershipShe would have to have been in grow at least four years to fill those requirements. The web-keeper has the same minimums.

It makes more sense to me to ask for a one year membership – with holding a service position to become familiar with how grow works.  And a minimum 5 years sobriety for such technical positions.

Response: I agree to increase the sobriety and GROW membership requirements for the Web Admin position.

However, I think it is reasonable to have 4 years sobriety and 4 years of GROW membership for the Web Admin.
I am opposed to “5” because the Web-keeper upon completing their term would have 4 years of sobriety and 4 years of GROW membership … if we increase the sobriety and GROW membership in this position … we could possibly eliminate potential Trusted Servants for these positions. Just something to consider.

Are we going to state anywhere that to be the Web Admin, one should have experience with one of the other 2 web-keeper positions?

I am confused because I was on the website committee and I do not remember discussing these job descriptions at all.

For Web Admin: May we please have a description of what the “GROW server PLESK account” is, in Web Admin job description?

I support the Web Admin position description as far as I understand it.

For Web-keeper: Eliminate the highlighted bullet point about Archives.  We let those go a long time ago.
Agree with the change to voting status.

Not sure why the proposal includes the part about membership dispute.  This could go into the record but I don’t think it needs to be in the job description.

For Backup Web-keeper: Same remark regarding the membership dispute.  Otherwise I agree with the description.
Thank you to those working on this project.

Could we have some idea from the committee how much time the Backup Webkeeper position takes each week?  And how much training is involved?  Since it remains open…

Response: PLESK is a web hosting platform with a control panel that allows the server administrator to perform tasks necessary for site maintenance ie. Backups, etc.

As the Web Admin I use this control panel to monitor site backups (which are on auto) set up an auto and any updates needed to the site ie. Plugins, Theme, WordPress. If need be if there are hosting issues I would work with our hosting service within this area to resolve.  Sounds complicated however not so much.

I hope this explains it.

As part of the progression in these trusted servant positions … I would work with Allison in the second year to understand my position and as I rotate off, I would be available as on-going support much like we do with the Business Chair and Secretary positions.

Response: This proposal was submitted by me and is work in progress.

Unfortunately, life on life terms has played a big role in this hurried proposal … please accept my amends.
Allison and I had hoped only to refine the job descriptions that are currently posted on the site from the duties performed this past term and I, alone, inadvertently left the requirement of serving in the prior position … this was discussed in the website committee.  Please accept my apologies.

I would like to amend my proposal to (1) add another line be added to the web-keeper job description that includes a requirement of serving a full term as backup web-keeper.

[Note that Allison was placed in the position of web-keeper at our last business meeting by group conscience and I moved to position of web-admin (a new position).  Going forward I feel this requirement (full-term as backup web-keeper) would be important.]

Likewise, (2) add another line be added to the web-admin job description that includes a requirement of serving a full term as web-keeper.

For the same reasons as the web-keeper position.

There is an additional amendment to (3) move the line “Is second holder of the Treasurer’s passwords.” from the Backup Web-Keeper to Web-Keeper because of the sensitive nature and because the Backup Web-Keeper is the newbie position in this service-line opportunity.

As for discussions on the sobriety and membership requirements … I will comment separately.

I’m still a newbie in sobriety and to grow but I just thought I’d share on this one since I am a web designer and seo consultant.

I don’t know the background of our 400+ members but I would guess that most of them don’t have web keeping background. It’s not difficult work but you definitely need training because it’s possible to take down the website entirely with a simple update done incorrectly. The basics could easily be taught in a few sessions with whoever is running the site now so as long as the volunteers are computer savvy, I would say they could learn what they need to know without being a full blown web designer. WordPress is great for that.

I think it’s a nice idea to have two year terms for these positions. If the website has been built properly, there shouldn’t be a huge time commitment for these roles and this way, they have time to learn the skills, do the job and then pass on the skills to the next volunteer.

As for requirements for these positions, if it has been difficult to fill them (which it seems it has been?) maybe put in the description that full training would be given to the volunteer if they don’t have much web experience? Again, I don’t know who has been running the web so I don’t know if that’s available but it’s an idea since I’m sure the majority of people see that job title and automatically think ‘not for me’
I would lower the requirements for the web back up role. Maybe 1 year for both sobriety and grow membership just to be able to get newer people in who would maybe step up to web-keeper or admin after their back up term is complete.

Also, I’ve noticed that seo (search engine optimization) is not properly set up for the web so it’s not super easy to find it via a Google search. Maybe add that to the tasks for the positions?
Hopefully that was helpful, thank you ladies for all that you do!!!

Kathy, alcoholic. Sarah, I appreciate your expertise and willingness to share it.  You will intuitively know when a big commitment is right for you.  Very good that you are recognizing your limitations regarding when and how you use your gifts.

I too am eager to jump into service (not only to AA, but with support for STEM students,  at my church, and with respect to climate change action, which was the technical focus of my career).  I overcommitted throughout my career, but now in retirement and after a relapse, I am finally learning that too many commitments bring on anxiety, which is a trigger for me and so many of us.  I now am taking a slower approach to why and how I commit to service.  The challenge of altering and reprogramming my fundamental and life-long inclination to “save the world” by doing too much has been among the most difficult I have encountered, sober or actively in my addiction.  I am grateful to the God of my understanding and to the wonderful program people in my life for the support I have had making these changes. These changes also are one day at a time.

The situation where a membership dispute created a problem in website management is extremely rare (only once to my knowledge). Personally, I don’t think it’s necessary to add this to the Web Admin position, as other unique situations might arise that call for a different action or response. The job descriptions can’t possibly address everything that might come up.If you feel the bullet is necessary, I would make it more general, for example …
“Where the Steering Committee takes an action that impacts how the GROW website is managed, the Web Administrator will work closely with the Business Meeting Chair to assure the action is implemented consistent with the Committee’s intent and the smooth operation of the site.”

I agree, it should be left out. We cannot possibly cover all situations that may arise. If something must be added I agree with Danna’s revised bullet below:

I just want to be sure I understand how the web positions are being structured. It appears that there is a “chain” here similar to the listkeeper job where the “back-up” (or alternate) is committing to more than one year of service. That is, the backup is signing up with the expectation that she will become webkeeper for two years and then web administrator for another two years. This means the back-up web-keeper would be making a six-year commitment to GROW.I don’t think that’s reasonable.

First, how many of us could make a commitment that extended over the next six years of our unpredictable lives? Second, it basically means that our members could only volunteer for the back-up job – that the web-keeper and web administrator jobs would be closed to volunteers. While I recognize that technical skills are limited, we can’t assume that new members will not have both the required sober time and the necessary skills to fill any one of those positions.

Am I misunderstanding the way the position descriptions are intertwined? If so, please explain how you envision this progression working. I just think a six-year commitment would discourage any of our members from volunteering as webkeeper backup. There must be a better way – maybe just one-year commitments for each position. I don’t have the answer, but I need to ask the question.

“Work closely with Steering Committee to ensure that pertinent group history is preserved and that archives are accessible to GROW members in keeping with the GROW Archives Guidelines.” Gigi suggests eliminating this bullet from the webkeeper job description.

Rather than eliminate it, I would reword it with something that reflects the fact that our website IS now our archives. Personally, I think it’s very important that the webkeeper is aware of and fulfills that important function. If we remove the bullet from the position description, we may be more likely to lose important documentation, especially for our business meetings and group conscience decisions.

I would, however, amend the reference to the Steering Committee to emphasize the Business Meeting Chair’s role in assuring meeting notes, group conscience decisions, etc. are recorded correctly on the website.
Also, I don’t see an “Archives Guidelines” on the website. That doesn’t mean it’s not there. I just couldn’t find it. If the Guidelines have been eliminated from the website, the reference to them should be removed. If they are still in effect, never mind.

I suggest the following changes to the bullet rather than eliminating it:
“Work closely with the Business Meeting Chair and the Steering Committee to ensure that pertinent group history is preserved in the members’ section of the GROW website and that archivesd materials are accessible to GROW members in keeping with the GROW Archives Guidelines” [remove only if the Archives Guidelines are no longer on the website]

Response:  Thank you for your comments.

The structure is similar to that of the listkeeper due to the nature of the position just as is the listkeeper’s position is.

The Backup Web-keeper with be giving small routine tasks (ie the weekly meeting posts) that would allow that trusted servant to understand the function of the website.

Then the transition to Web-keeper which would include other routine tasks (ie business meetings posts) within the same vain except would also get some exposure to administrative duties.

Then the transition to Web Admin which would have other routine tasks (updates and user / server functions) to perform and be available to help the Web-keeper and Backup Web-keeper because they were one.  This way as Web Admin, the trusted servant would have the needed skills to help the Backup Web-keeper and Web-keeper.

The past Web Admin would roll off and be available to assist the current Web Admin as we do with the Business Chair, Secretary and Listkeeper positions.

6 years is a long commitment and I am all for changing each position to a year … making it a 3-year commitment ie Backup Web-keeper 1-year term, Web-keeper 1-year term and Web Admin 1-year term. The big key is rotation of service.

Each position as with all trusted servant positions can be a part of our recovery journey and working as a team can enhance that effort as we share our ESH with each other.

Danna you and I have and Allison and I have too.  I treasure those opportunities while serving my group.
I disagree with the statement that “it basically means that our members could only volunteer for the back-up job – that the webkeeper and web administrator jobs would be closed to volunteers” … every position is open to the grow membership … these particular positions are progressive because it involves a learning curve using WordPress for particular functions.  And by doing the progressive steps, the trusted servant would have the tools needed to be successful.

Hope that helps.

I like Tanya’s suggestion to require just one year in each position to require just a three year commitment. It seems less daunting to the volunteer.

After a number of terms, and in several years there won’t need to be a “ commitment for three years”  We should have had some people who took the positions and retired and then can step back into them – once they have done the job.  It’s only for the start up that we need the progression.

Thank you all for your thoughts here.  Making these service posts 1 year commitments seems very wise.

Thank you all for this clarifying discussion. I think that in the long run having shorter terms of service will generate more, not fewer, volunteers.

Again, apologies for the lateness of my response.  Looking into our Archives group conscience decisions on the old web site, there have been none since 2006. The “archives” mentioned were on Binhost, which has not been our server for quite a long time.  It is correct that most of this information (see requirements below) is posted on our website, and of course we want our Web Admin and Steering Committee to work closely on keeping up with these.  The suggested wording offered by Danna is accurate and up-to-date.  It reflects our mandate to maintain certain records of our group on our website in a password-protected area.  I for one would love to keep somewhere a listing of past TSs but that is probably not practical.

Archives maintained by the Archivist and posted in the password protected members’ only section of g-r-o-w.com will include:

  • A history written by the founders of GROW.
  • A listing of trusted servant job guidelines, and current trusted servants and terms.
    Quarterly reports for the most recent 2 years from Treasurer, Listkeeper, Secretary, OIAA, GSR and Steering Committee Secretary.
  • All Group Conscience decisions
  • Current letter and format templates used by or for Greeter-Welcomer, Listkeeper, email list provider, meeting format, 12 Step Chair, Topic Leader Chair, Sponsor Listkeeper, FYI, E-Mail Etiquette, etc.
  • usiness meeting agendas and minutes for the most recent 2 years.

Results of Voting on Proposal 1

Voting: Twelve (12) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 1.1. Therefore, Proposal 1 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

The updated job descriptions are as follows:

Web Admin
  • 1-year term
  • 4 years of sobriety
  • 4 years in GROW membership
  • Served a full term as Web-keeper of the GROW website
  • Member of Business List
  • Voting member of the Steering Committee
  • Maintain GROW Server PLESK account 
  • Maintain a periodic backup of the GROW database
  • Maintain GROW website updates (WordPress, theme and plugins)
  • Inform Steering Committee when updates are made to the website
  • Consult with Steering Committee before making substantial design or content changes to GROW website
  • Support Web-keeper and Backup Web-keeper on WordPress site issues
  • Provide Web-keeper and Backup Web-keeper with all necessary information and passwords to access all web accounts and web server
  • Provide the Web-keeper’s email address to the web hosting service and designate her as co-owner
  • As owner of the g-r-o-w web account, help ensure that the annual service fee is paid. If necessary, provide copies of invoice/receipt to GROW Treasurer for reimbursement
  • Upon retirement, transfer website account to successor, provide successor with all necessary information, including job guidelines, and serve as a mentor for a period of time to ensure continuity of service.
  • Common duties and requirements to all Trusted Servant positions is described here.
Web-keeper
  • 1-year term
  • 2 years of sobriety
  • 2 years in GROW membership
  • Served a full-term as Backup Web-keeper
  • Must be member of Business List
  • Voting member of the Steering Committee 
  • Is second holder of the Treasurer’s passwords.
  • Maintains public website (g-r-o-w.com) for GROW to provide information about Alcoholics Anonymous and for the purpose of attracting new members. Information should include:
    • Info about Alcoholics Anonymous
    • Info about GROW
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • Our Guiding Philosophy
    • Guide for Email Etiquette
    • Traditions in Cyberspace
    • How to become a member
  • Maintain a password protected private section on g-r-o-w.com to provide GROW members with information about GROW, including:
    • List of trusted servants and job descriptions
    • Info about how we conduct business
    • Group conscience decisions
    • Common Welfare Guidelines
    • Important addresses
    • Work closely with the Business Meeting Chair and the Steering Committee to ensure that pertinent group history is preserved in the members’ section of the GROW website and that archived materialsare accessible to GROW
  • Inform Steering Committee when updates are made to the website
  • Consult with Steering Committee before making substantial design or content changes to GROW website
  • Post all business meetings and keep updated throughout the business meeting
  • Ensure that any material posted on g-r-o-w.com appropriately protects the anonymity of anyone mentioned
  • Upon retirement, transfer website account to successor, provide successor with all necessary information, including job guidelines, and serve as a mentor for a period of time to ensure continuity of service
  • Common duties and requirements to all Trusted Servant positions is described here.
Backup Web-keeper
  • 1-year term
  • 1 year of sobriety
  • 1 year in GROW membership
  • Member of Business List
  • Voting member of the Steering Committee.
  • Maintains the Weekly Meeting Topics in the private section of g-r-o-w.com.
  • Support Web-keeper in maintaining public website (g-r-o-w.com) for GROW to provide information about Alcoholics Anonymous and to for the purpose of attracting new members:
    • Info about AA
    • Info about GROW
    • FAQs
    • Guideline for Email Etiquette
    • Traditions in Cyberspace
    • How to become a member
  • Support the Web-keeper in maintaining a password-protected private section on g-r-o-w.comto provide GROW members with information about GROW, including:
    • List of trusted servants and job descriptions
    • Info about how we conduct business
    • Group conscience decisions
    • Common welfare guidelines
    • Important addresses
  • Common duties and requirements to all Trusted Servant positions is described here.

Oct 06: Step 10

Step 10:  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

Asking ourselves these question each night, writing about it, discussing things with our sponsor to get a different perspective…ect…we have daily tools to grow that have been laid at our feet…
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day.
Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?
Do we owe an apology?
Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once?
Were we kind and loving toward all?
What could we have done better?
Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?
“But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.”

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead.
We consider our plans for the day.
Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
“Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.”

“In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.”

“We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.”
We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only.
We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped.
We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends.
“Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.”
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.”
We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

It works – it really does.

“We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.”

My personal Step 10 consists of a daily written inventory. I of course spot check throughout the day, but I find it’s harder to lie to myself when I have the truth written out in front of me in black and white. My mind will justify and rationalize everything in my favor. It likes to tell me that I am a victim and blameless. The Spirit knows otherwise. I spent years and years in my head justifying my reactions, decisions and behaviors, pretty much always based in a victim mentality. I blamed others (still have to watch that everyday) instead of admitting that I participated in my own self destruction.

Now, because of God and the Steps of AA, my brain is being continually being rewired to match my soul-where before my mind running the show. Since it doesn’t come automatically to admit my faults, I find this daily 10th Step keeps my accounts with God and others short, so that my next 4th Step won’t be as dramatic.

Simply by asking myself honestly the questions mentioned above, keeps me in check. It’s hard for me to be honest if I am so full of anger, self pity, resentment or blame, so I pray for the willingness to be honest and for God to revel to me the truth in all things. I also ask for the courage to face myself and take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. I would have NEVER known how to do this if not for AA and spiritually fit people God put in my life.

Please share on your experience with Step 10, your personal daily process or whatever experience, strength and hope your sober walk can bless us with!

Hilarie
4/8/14

Trusted Servants 10/2019

Trusted Servants

  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (10/19-4/20): Karrie C. email
  • Birthday Listkeeper (10/19-4/20): Lynn H.  email
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (10/19-4/20): Rene G.  email

Trusted Servants who make up the Steering Committee:

  • Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): Joan B. email
  • GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M. email
  • GVR (10/19-10/20): OPEN
  • Greeter (4/19-4/20): Sarah K.  email
  • Greeter (4/19-4/20): Louise H. email
  • Listkeeper (4/19-4/20): Karen H. email
  • Listkeeper Alternate (4/19-4/20): Nancy C. email
  • OIAA Rep (4/20-4/21): OPEN
  • Secretary (10/19-10/20): Laurie C. email
  • Temporary Mentor (4/19-4/20): Danna M. email
  • Treasurer (10/19-10/21): Cheryl B.  email
  • Website Admininstrator (4/19-4/20): Tanya C. email
  • Webkeeper (4/19-4/20): Allison M. email
  • Webkeeper Backup (10/19-10/20): Cheryl D. email
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (10/19-4/20): Bobby T. email
  • Immediate Past Business Meeting Chair: Danna M. email
  • Immediate Past GSR: Joan B. email
  • Immediate Past OIAA: Lynn H.  email and Kirsten V. email
  • Immediate Past Secretary: Ruth F.  email

1019 – Ad Hoc Committee Report

Oct 2019 – Ad Hoc Committee Report

Report from the Ad Hoc Committee on Sponsor Listkeeper & Temporary Mentor Coordination

The Ad Hoc Committee met from May through September to discuss several issues related to the way GROW handles sponsors, particularly the jobs of the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor. While we considered including the 12th Step Listkeeper in our discussions, we decided that the position is not really involved in questions about GROW sponsors and dropped it from our deliberations.

Our decisions were informed by a survey of GROW members about their experiences in finding online sponsors. We learned that, while there have been some issues with potential sponsors not responding timely, most of the members who responded were happy with their experiences in finding and working with GROW sponsors.

For the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor positions, the Ad Hoc Committee discussed several issues. The outcome of our discussions is presented in a set of proposals that include:

Sponsor Listkeeper Job Description
Sponsor Listkeeper Form Letters
Temporary Mentor Job Description
Temporary Mentor Form Letter #1
Newcomer Committee
Addition of introductory paragraph on Sponsor Webpage

Generally, after discussion, we concluded that the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor should coordinate, particularly in helping newcomers find temporary sponsors.

Sponsor Listkeeper
We are proposing several changes to the Sponsor Listkeeper Job Description that reflect major changes to the existing Sponsor List Announcement form letter and the addition of two new form letters: Sponsor List Invitation and Sponsor List Confirmation. The three form letters are more focused for specific purposes: distributing the list of available sponsors to our membership, soliciting volunteers for the sponsor list, and confirming each month that the women on the list want to continue on the list. The new Sponsor List Invitation form letter also asks volunteers to indicate if they will be a temporary sponsor for newcomers to GROW. Other deletions to the job description reference duties that are no longer necessary given the other changes described.

Temporary Mentor
We are proposing changes to the Temporary Mentor Job Description that reflect elimination of the Newcomer Committee and working with the Sponsor Listkeeper to provide new members with the list of available GROW sponsors and assign Temporary Sponsors when requested. Changes to the Temporary Mentor Letter #1 that reflect the elimination of the Available Online Sponsors webpage in April 2019 and offer guidance on how to identify potential sponsors in GROW.

Newcomer Commitee
Related to the Temporary Mentor position, we discussed the Newcomer Committee that was created in October 2018. When the committee was formed, we expected that the Newcomer Committee would be composed of GROW members in early sobriety. However, no one in early sobriety volunteered. Several members with long-term sobriety did volunteer; however, because the workload was manageable, they were inactive. When polled on whether they would be willing to be temporary sponsors, few were able to make that commitment. Therefore, we are proposing to eliminate the Newcomer Committee as a good idea that unfortunately didn’t work as expected.

Introductory Paragraphs for GROW’s Online Sponsors Webpage
The webpage currently contains information from the AA pamphlet “Questions and Answers on Sponsorship.” We are proposing introductory language (g-r-o-w.com/member-welcome/trusted-servants/online-sponsors/) to discuss online sponsorship in GROW specifically. The recommended language duplicates language proposed in the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor form letters and assures that members are aware of the sponsor list, how to contact the Sponsor Listkeeper, and that members can ask anyone in GROW to sponsor them.

1019 – OIAA Report

Oct 2019 – OIAA Report

Hello GROW, I’m an alcoholic named Kirsten and our OIAA Representative, alternate.
The June OIAA Chair’s Report included the following:

  • The Ad-Hoc Committee tasked with looking into participating in the AAWS AA meeting guide app license decided to participate.
  • The Web Committee is now assessing the feasibility of participating. A little bit about the meeting guide app below (taken from the April Business Meeting report –thank you Lynn)”Meeting Guide app will be part of the new AAWS AA app launched in 2019. The people that run it now will be handing over the reins to AAWS so there should be no traditions issues moving forward.
    • Meeting Guide is a free mobile A.A. f2f meeting finder app. It gets its data by syncing with area, district, Intergroup/Central Office and International G.S.O. websites.
    • Sites that use their own custom database only need to create a JSON feed to make their data accessible.
    • The app is now used by more than 100,000 users every month, using it on an average of 5.75 times per month.”
  • OIAA is still working toward reinstating non-profit status—a reduction in fees owed has been negotiated and an anonymous donor has stepped forward to donate some of the back fees.
    • The secretary has put out a call for any OIAA-related financial records (2012-2018) that former or current members may have archived in order to help with the reinstatement filing process.
  • The Web Committee is building a trial WordPress site to see whether OIAA can switch platforms. Their decision will be based on functionality of the trial site.

The Treasurer’s Report for July:

  • Expenses: 2 full years of name domain protection @$89.95
  • Total contributions for June: $266.68
  • Balance (July 1, 2019): $1430.01
  • Issues affecting finances include pending vote on whether to attend the AA World Convention in 2020 in Detroit. The treasurer recommends a vote that includes all of OIAA, including IGRs, to decide whether to participate. Ultimately, the decision may rest on the financial outcome of payments made to reinstate non-profit status.

When I began as OIAA alternate there was an overwhelming (for me) volume of mail going back and forth, much of it unproductive. When I went back through my OIAA folder to prepare this report, I noticed that the volume of mail had dropped off in 2019 Most of the current discussions are related to the above-mentioned items.

It seems as though things are cooling down and people are beginning to work together more productively. This may be a moment of positive change for OIAA. OIAA is looking for folks to serve on the convention committee and the steppers committee (which requires some training). There are opportunities to get involved and have a closer look and the functionality of the organization. That said, I did not volunteer for a committee and chose to limit my participation to reading emails and filing our GROW report.

Thank you for the opportunity to be of service,
X
Kirsten

1019 – Listkeeper’s Report

Oct 2019 – Listkeeper’s Report

Our membership as of September 30, 2019 is 417. Regular list members 374 and 43 Digest members (this number is always a little larger than our actual count because some members have two subscriptions – one for regular posts and one for digests and some members have two regular list addresses.)

This time last year we had 364 members. We are GROWING!

In August, Nancy C. very graciously stepped into the vacant alternative job and agreed to be the alternate listkeeper until October 2019.

Our Greeters, Sarah K. and Louise H. are doing an excellent job and we all enjoy working together!

Respectfully submitted,
Karen H and Nancy C |
GROW Listkeepers

1019 – Treasurer’s Report

Oct 2019 – Treasurer’s Report

Joan, this is the final report. Distributions will be paid after final approval by the Committee. Sue

Donations:

$155.00 PayPal
$227.12 echecks to Ally Bank
————
$ 382.12
$ 122.00 Bal from April
————
$ 504.12

Distributions:

$ 122.00 prudent reserve to GROW
$ 144.00 Dean Collins
——————
Bal: 238.12  GSO

1019 – Secretary’s Report

Oct 2019 – Secretary’s Report

The following is the list of incoming/outgoing trusted servants and the current list of trusted servants and openings.

12 Step Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): 
OUTGOING: Sophie sophieflook@gmail.com
INCOMING: Karrie C. chaneykarrie@gmail.com

Birthday Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): 
OUTGOING: Ruth F. serenity9918@gmail.com (temporary until 10/19)
INCOMING: Lynn H. lilitaliangal@gmail.com

Sponsor Listkeeper (4/19-10/19) 
OUTGOING: Sherrie W. thesherrie@earthlink.net
INCOMING: rene.goldsworthy@yahoo.com

Listkeeper Alternate (4/19-4/21): 
OUTGOING: Nancy C cybergram@eastlink.ca (Temporary until Oct 2019) 
INCOMING: NOT YET FILLED

OIAA Rep (10/18-10/19):
OUTGOING: Lynn H. lilitaliangal@gmail.com and 
                       Kirsten V. lesserseattle@gmail.com
INCOMING: NOT YET FILLED

Secretary (10/18-10/19): 
OUTGOING: Ruth F. serenity9918@gmail.com
INCOMING: NOT YET FILLED

Treasurer (10/17-10/19): 
OUTGOING: Sue W. scwills502@gmail.com
INCOMING: Cheryl B. cab7thtradition@gmail.com

GVR (10/18-10/19): 
OUTGOING: Barbara M. barbaramanolache@aol.com
INCOMING: Ruth F. serenity9918@gmail.com

Webkeeper Backup (4/19-4/21):
INCOMING: NOT YET FILLED

Trusted Servants who make up the Steering Committee
Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): Joan B. joangrowbus@gmail.com
GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M. ammakate@yahoo.com
GVR (10/19-10/20): Ruth F. serenity9918@gmail.com
Greeter (4/19-4/20): Sarah K smkeester@gmail.com
Greeter (4/19-4/20): Louise H wemerrilymeet@gmail.com
Listkeeper(4/19-4/20): Karen H fromie10@gmail.com
Listkeeper Alternate (4/19-4/21):  NOT YET FILLED
OIAA Rep (10/19-10/20): NOT YET FILLED
Secretary (10/18-10/19):  NOT YET FILLED
Temporary Mentor (4/19-4/20):  Danna M. dmcd.grow@gmail.com (Use this address for business meeting)
Treasurer (10/17-10/19): Cheryl B. cab7thtradition@gmail.com
Website Administrator(4/19-4/20): Tanya C.  Tanyaq42@gmail.com
Webkeeper (10/18-10/20): Allison M. paonia.allison@gmail.com
Webkeeper Backup (4/19-4/21): NOT YET FILLED
Weekly Leader Listkeeper (4/19-4/20): Gigi telperion.1214@gmail.com

1019 – Business Meeting Welcome

Oct 2019 – Business Meeting Welcome

Greetings, and welcome to the October 2019 Business Meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women (GROW).

I am Joan, an alcoholic, and your Business Chair for this meeting. Thank you for participating!

This is a closed meeting, open only to members of GROW, for the discussion of business as it relates to our group. Our business meetings run in four-day segments and last no more than 29 days.

I will post each Agenda item, one by one, in separate emails and **ask that you respond to each accordingly.** This makes it easier to “tally” the responses and suggestions to each item. We will have a three-day period of open discussion on each Agenda item. This, hopefully, will allow all members regardless of work schedules, time zones, etc. to participate and comment. At the beginning of the fourth day, I will post the results/consensus of our discussions.

Before we begin, let’s have a moment of silence to reflect on why we are here, followed by the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

In this Business Meeting, let us be guided by The Twelve Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Let us all keep in mind our Unity of Service statement from the Grapevine of September 1998:

“Unity seldom means that we all agree on everything. Nor is unity served by setting aside our concerns and conforming to the majority opinion (or the vocal minority) . . . Unity is best achieved by a full hearing of all points of view . . . time for all of those involved to step back from emotional responses . . . as well as careful consideration and prayer for that which will best serve the group or AA as a whole.”

Thank you for being here and for your dedication to GROW.

Respectfully submitted,
Joan B.
GROW Business Chair
joangrowbus@gmail.com

Sep 29: Enough – Things My Sponsor Taught Me

Enough – Things My Sponsor Taught Me

I hope you didn’t click on this share thinking I might tell you how much recovery is enough. Maybe my 36 years in the Program fooled you. There is never enough recovery. And I never want to leave before the miracle. Seen many–but which one is it? Anniversaries make me reminisce. I’m going to focus on enough. There are 2 enough’s: I have had enough. OR I don’t have enough. AA is a simple program for complicated people. ‘I’ve had it!’ Enough! I came to AA when my life was unmanageable. Alcohol was destroying me. One drink was not enough. It was the first drink that got me drunk. I was in deep pain: emotional, physical, and spiritual. But when is enough for me? How long can I keep this up? Willpower isn’t enough. I can’t do this alone. I need AA, a Higher Power and you.

Enough already! I say to my sponsor. I am a grownup. You don’t have to tell me what to do. But development stops when we pick up a drink, she says. For most of us, that isn’t enough growing up. Sigh. Enough of this. I can’t write any more on my 4th step. I’m calling you enough. I already go to enough meetings. Not enough, my sponsor echoes. I’m not sober enough to share with all those oldtimers! Don’t judge your insides by another’s outsides, says my sponsor. My HP doesn’t answer my prayers quickly enough! Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. Time takes time. So what is enough in recovery? One of my favorites lists of enough is the Promises. (However, expect life on life’s terms: freckles, dysfunctional family members, toothaches, bills, etc. Not the worst things compared to the Promises.)

The real enough’s of AA include the obsession to drink being lifted. A connection to a Higher Power. Living one day at a time. Never being alone again. Beloved relationships. Mending bridges to those I’ve harmed. Being comfortable with my place in life. You loving me enough until I love myself. Helping others. Serenity. Sanity. Joy. Love. GROW! My past no longer haunts me. Spirituality. You know how it is. My Higher Power allowed me to drink just enough not to kill myself. And now, I really do have enough. The list goes on. We all have our personal lists that are the enough’s for us. But there’s not enough space here. Too many ‘enough’s’ to list in sobriety. You are enough. Make your own list. Savor your life of abundance.

hgz, b.
dos 9/21/83

Sep 22: Overcoming Character Defects

Overcoming Character Defects

Hi my name is Ruth F and I’m an alcoholic.

I am grateful to have the opportunity to lead this meeting and am glad to know you are here with me. It’s nice to not be alone as we trudge this road of happy destiny.

I have been going through the steps again with my sponsor. We are spending some time on Steps 6 and 7. I realized that I’ve struggled with these steps, which is partly true. Mainly, I think I have glossed over them, said the 7th step prayer, and moved on to Step 8 pretty quickly.

A realization came to me. My discomfort with myself and others is a manifestation of my character defects affecting my behaviors, attitudes, and even my thinking. Normally, I would look out and decide I had a resentment, or fear or something else that would require another 4th step. So, I’d confirm my character defects again but not feel any better.

I have realized through praying to my Higher Power, reading literature, attending meetings, and talking to my sponsor that what’s really happening is that I haven’t taken action on changing/improving my character defects. I’m not working towards the principles of the program as well as I could.

There’s so little information to go by in the Big Book. I tend to do best with specific instructions or guidelines on how to take whatever action is necessary to help me be a better person.

So, my sponsor and I went looking for another resource that worked with AA. We both knew of the book, “Drop the Rock” but neither one of us had ever read it through or studied it. The book addresses Steps 6 and 7.

We are reading it now, which has helped as another tool in my recovery process.

I am learning that there are specific actions I can take. That turning my character defects over and asking that they be removed requires surrendering. It’s been harder for me than in Step 3.

I realize that the bigger character defects are easier to recognize and “work at” removing. It’s the moderate defects, the ones that bubble just below the surface that are harder. Maybe it’s because I’m hanging on to them or it’s easier to brush them aside thinking that they’re not that bad. The problem for me is that they build up. I can only apologize so many times. It becomes empty and meaningless as long as my behaviors don’t change. I either read or heard in a meeting that I judged myself by my thinking while others judged me by my actions. That really affected me.

A higher level of awareness of my character defects is so important if I’m going to grow and change. I can’t keep my blinders on. One thing I’ve learned from studying “Drop the Rock” along with AA, is that I can act “as if” I’m the person I’ve always wanted to be. I can act with generosity instead of selfishness. I can think of others instead of being so self involved. The opportunities to grow keep popping up and I’m amazed when I can actually adjust my attitude, my reaction, or my behavior. That acting “as if” becomes the new me more than the character defects.

It’s not perfection I’m after, just progress. Progress, for me, takes a lot of practice.

I’ve also realized that I am more than my character defects. We all are. Because as I practice being a better person there’s a shift within me. I still can regress but that doesn’t make me bad, it makes me human. I know what I can do about it and not feel trapped.

My character defects may always be with me. I realize now that I do not have to be ruled by them. Their power can lessen rather than dominate my life. I can move forward using all of the tools available to me and with the guidance of my Higher Power become a better person.

I would love to hear how you’ve been using the tools of the program and your Higher Power on character defects. How are you becoming someone more in line with the principles of the program? I look forward to reading your ESH.

Thank you for being there and giving me this opportunity to be of service.

Sincerely,
Ruth F.

Sep 15: Taking the program and fellowship of AA wherever we go

Taking the program and fellowship of AA wherever we go

I am currently on a much-needed holiday in Greece. I come here every year and every year before I depart for my hols I check online to see if there is an AA meeting or a loner on the island (where two or more are gathered it’s a meeting!) Last year when I visited there was a woman I met with and we had a meeting. Unfortunately, there is no meeting or loners presently on this island. I don’t know if they moved away or didn’t stay sober but I have put in the action to maintain a lifeline to my program and the fellowship. Thank God for technology today as I can keep in touch with people via apps on my phone as well as email and Skype on my computer. Where there is Wi-Fi there is a way to AA.

I have been sober since ‘87 and I have traveled or lived abroad most of my sober life. I was only 3 years sober when I moved to a small town in the South of France to study at university for a year. I remember writing NY central office 6 months before I departed and requesting an international guide for meetings in Europe. [Back then they used to publish this international meeting guide about every 2 years, of course, this is way before the internet]

When I arrived in this small town in France I looked up the address listed in the book as the only English AA meeting. I found the address and knocked on the door and in my broken French asked for the man listed in the book. They told me he moved back to the US a year ago. I thought what do I do now??

I did find the one AA French meeting in this small town and showed up. It was a small meeting of about 4-5 people and I must have really wanted to stay sober as I stayed throughout the entire meeting which lasted about 2+ hours (bless them but they were truly French – they loved to talk, smoke, talk and drink coffee and talk J). I was 21 years old and I sat in this very smoky room in the back of a church with these older French people who were complete strangers to me. I ended up enduring (that’s what I felt at the time) incredibly fast-talking French who all smoked about 4 packs of Gauloise (unfiltered cigarettes) in one meeting alone.

Thankfully a few months later I did eventually find some English AA meetings in the Cote d’Azur and would take a 3-hour bus ride to Nice to get to some English AA once in a while. I met some really amazing people who took in this young, naïve college student (that was me back in the late 80s) who kindly offered me the hand of AA. I remember going to one meeting in Monaco and the secretary gave me a brown paper bag full of English AA speaker cassette tapes to take back with me.

I can look back now and see that by taking small actions I kept my AA lifeline which helped keep me sober one day at a time. Towards the end of my year studying abroad in France, I managed to speak fluent french because of those french AA meetings I attended. It now seems like a (very) long time ago but I remember as clear as a bell feeling so sad saying goodbye to those lovely French AA folks who were so patient and kind with me and my broken French months before. I learned a lot from that early living abroad experience – mostly that I needed to put in some footwork and try my best to reach out to stay connected to other AA’ers.

I love GROW because it’s another tool in my recovery toolbox to stay connected to the program– if I’m working a lot or traveling (like I am this week) I can stay connected by reading shares, emailing or phoning people.

Over the years I have accumulated so many stories and ‘coincidences’ when traveling through remote places in my search to find an AA loner or a meeting. I would always end up meeting the most amazing people!

If I can’t get to meetings because they don’t exist or are not there anymore I know I can listen to AA speakers online or participate in a Skype meeting or read literature online. Yes, it’s not the same as f2f meetings but better than nothing if I have nothing. I also keep the Big Book, 12 & 12 and other AA literature on my Kindle app for my phone and computer.

I love AA and I am truly blessed to have met so many wonderful AA’ers around the world through meetings and AA encounters. London has been my home for the last 19 years. I am grateful we are all connected through this amazing fellowship with our primary purpose to stay sober and help other alcoholics. No matter where you are in the world today thank you for helping me stay sober ODAT J

Would love to hear your experience about traveling, living remotely, or living abroad and how you stay connected to AA and the fellowship.

Thank you for letting me be of service today

Heidi

2019 Business Meeting – April

2019 Business Meeting – April

(topics are listed below are in order of presentation)

Sep 08: Obsession

Obsession

My name is Karen and I’m an alcoholic.

In the Big Book chapter “More About Alcoholism” there is a line “The idea that somehow; someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 30) That fit me to a T. Later in the chapter it talks about some of the methods we try; for example, Drinking beer only…Never drinking in the morning…Switching from scotch to brandy…Swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath, and so on ad infinitum. I was handed my first Big Book while in detox in rehab and read this chapter, including the list. I felt I had just taken a quiz to see if I was an alcoholic and checked all the boxes. It was a relief to know that other people had tried all these crazy methods to quit drinking that had consumed my life for so long.

When I was drinking my mind was like a hamster wheel, constantly thinking about drinking or not drinking, whichever version I was trying out at the moment. Nighttime offered little relief; I woke at 2 a.m. on the dot every morning worried I was going to die from alcohol poisoning or trying to remember what I had said or done the night before. I would start to plan how the next day would be different. In the last year of my drinking I pretty much gave up trying to string together sober days because they weren’t that much better than the days I drank. I may not have had a hangover, but I was never free from the obsession of thinking about drinking.

At the treatment center I went to we learned that alcohol is not only an allergy of the body but also an obsession of the mind. That made so much sense to me. The physical cravings left first, and it wasn’t many days before I started to feel physically better and occasionally slept through the night. The mental obsession was much harder. I have heard people in AA say they had a spiritual awakening and the obsession was lifted. It didn’t happen that way for me. It was very gradual. There was a day, probably about six months sober, when I realized I hadn’t thought about alcohol for several hours. That started to happen more often and those chunks of time, when I felt like I had my brain back, kept me going. For me, losing the obsession that had zapped my energy and my ability to be present for so many years was the key to finding the freedom and happiness talked about in the promises. Occasionally, I’ll go on a trip down memory lane and start to feel nostalgic about having a nice glass of wine. The best way for me to get out of that “stinking thinking” is to remind myself that I am no longer thinking about drinking every minute and that once I pick up that glass that freedom is gone.

I invite you all to share on obsession: how it was lifted or if it’s still a struggle. Of course, please share on any other topic you need to.

Thanks for letting me chair,

Karen H.
9/11/2015

Sep 01: Step 9

Step 9

Topic for the week: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s much more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting in the middle of page 76. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

In Step Eight I revisited the concepts of willingness and ego-deflation! I had to acknowledge the painful adventures of the past in which my character defects manifested themselves.

Once again, I had to own up to the wreckage my self-will had caused me. It was then time to admit my faults, mistakes
and character defects not only to God, to myself, to another human being, but also to the very individuals whom I had harmed! I had to make amends for what I had done.

In the process I accepted both responsibility for, and the consequences of, my past behavior. Only in that way could I find freedom. There was no other way to put the guilt and shame of the past behind me and ensure that I would not behave that way again!

Step Nine is a painful, humbling Step…..but rewarding. The A.A.’s Twelve Promises are said to come true with the Ninth Step. The Big Book is clear on the necessity of this commitment. And I have found that the power of
this Step lies in facing the person I had wronged as well as in confronting the wrongs themselves, and in trying to correct them. The pain of this Step and the ego-deflation it brings come directly from this confrontation.

I have also found that there is no “easier, softer way” that works!

I put off making an amends to my “favorite” ex-husband for over 20 years. When I finally returned to Hawaii and made my amends, he said: “Huh?” He had long forgotten me and my bad behavior! The importance of this recollection is this: I carried around in my head, for over 20 years,
remembrances of this bad behavior and definitely put a thorn in my peace of mind – –hence it stayed in the “committee” in my head!

IT WORKS WHEN I WORK IT, and doesn’t when I don’t!!!

I look forward to your shares and experiences with Step Nine.

Susanne
Murphys, CA
8/17/91

Aug 25: Procrastination

Procrastination

Hi, my name Rene and alcoholic.

When it came to step four I procrastinated big time, I was petrified of what will come out.

My sponsor still asked after two weeks whether I had quit the programme and or her. It was like a power struggle, I was thinking of good versus “evil”, , here me hanging by the “scales by my fingertips”.

Not that much coercion needed, simply a case of work the programme or not. Not a lot of choice, but better than where I was.

“Fear of failure is often the reason why people procrastinate”.

Before sobriety I could list many ways of why am putting something off. When my drinking developed into a “daily habit”, I cut myself off from everyone, just functioning going to work, then home to bottle ( I could not be an alcoholic as I was everyday at work). What a joke, I put myself in my self imposed hell hole.

I would debate with myself when having to do a project, and inevitably come up with some creative excuse as to why not done on time. The bottle kept my time.

Without this programme and group, which will remain grateful for, I let life take me according to my HP.

Aug 18: Acceptance

Acceptance 

From the big book, page 418 (the story is Acceptance Was The Answer) : “But when I try to see what I can add to the meeting, rather than what I can get out of it, and when I focus my mind on what’s good about it, rather than what’s wrong with it, the meeting keeps getting better and better. When I focus on what’s good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what’s bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases ; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases.”

This is one of my favorite stories! It applies to both meetings and everyday life. I can complain because someone in the meeting said something I didn’t agree with, maybe they have a rule I find absurd, etc. Or, I can be grateful I’m at an A.A. meeting and can be sober with others for this time. Same with life! Are we irritated because we can’t get the closest parking spot, because we had to wait extra long at the grocery store? It’s little things that add up and make me annoyed! If I stopped, took a breath, and focused my attention on God and where my feet are planted I wouldn’t have half the irritation I do.

It also applies to big things. Waiting on medical test results, fear over finances. Living in the problem and obsessing about it every free moment is not going to fix it or make us feel any better. Looking towards the solution and living in the now is all we can do.

Please share how accepting where you are today and living in the solution is helpful to your sobriety. Or, share why you struggle with this.

Aug 11: The Set Aside Prayer

The Set Aside Prayer

Hi Ladies,

My name is Nydia and I am an alcoholic. I am still humbled when I see newcomers change – they are the bright spot of my life (Big Book, p.89). I recently had one of them ask me “how do I get there?” and I thought, what’s ‘there’? And ‘there’ was basically some Utopian thought of bliss where everything works like clockwork, the family, the relationship, the money, the house, the new fad diet.

I said to her, I will get ‘there’ when I am dead. Because as long as I am alive there will always be something new to uncover, discover and sometimes discard. I am also always receiving new experiences, gifts, freedoms.

I will leave you with the Set Aside Prayer which has been such a joy to say these past few months. It reminds me, there is no graduation and to continue to let go of what I think I know…

God,

Please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my disease, the 12 steps, and especially You; So I may have an open mind and a new experience about myself, my disease, the 12 steps and especially You.

(Drawn from instructions in the Big Book, p.46-48)

I look forward to hearing your experience, strength and hope on setting aside what you think you know in recovery.

Nydia

 

Aug 04: Step 8

Step 8

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting in the middle of page 76. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

Hello GROW, I’m an alcoholic named Kirsten. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service this week. Welcome newcomers!

Step 8 asks us to do two things:

Make a list and cultivate the willingness to make amends.

When I found AA, I already knew how to make lists. Lists of ideas, projects, tasks—tasks from previous lists that were still undone.

And although I could think of plenty of people who had had harmed me, I was pretty sure I hadn’t harmed anyone.

So, why would I make that list?

Fortunately, we work the Steps in the order given. By the time I got to Step 8 I could think of a few things I had done that I wished I hadn’t.

I was finally ready to recall people and behaviors that I had intentionally forgotten—because I didn’t want to think of myself as unkind, or thoughtless, or cruel. Step 4 showed me that I could be all of those things. Surprise!

In order to complete Step 8 we’re asked to cultivate willingness.

Using the humility I learned in Step 7, I found the willingness to write the list.

Step 8 introduced me to a new recovery skill, making amends, which I would practice imperfectly. Thereby creating one more opportunity to practice humility.

Step 8 taught me that I could admit to the hurt I caused others and prepare for the work of Step 9—admitting to other human beings that I was far from perfect.

I’m looking forward to hearing about your relationship with Step 8, the Program concepts involved, or anything you would like to get current on this week.

 

Jul 28: Surrender

Surrender

“I am learning to let go and let God, to have a mind that is open and a heart that is willing to receive God’s grace in all my affairs; in this way I can experience the peace and freedom that come as a result of surrender. It has been proven that an act of surrender, originating in desperation and defeat, can grow into an ongoing act of faith, and that faith means freedom and victory”. (Daily reflections July 21)

Growing up there were lots of aunts and uncles in our family. The uncles would love to tease us kids and tickle us. We called it tickle torture. And we would have to cry “uncle” for them to stop.  Crying “uncle” was an act of surrender.  Surrendering is defeat but what relief to yell out “uncle”. Too bad I didn’t carry that lesson to adulthood. Lol.

As I grew up I became very self reliant.  Mostly as a defense mechanism.  I had to.  Then I became haughty and arrogant and decided to show my family that I could do life on my own. I decided as a young girl that I would never be like my mother – dependent on a man.  I closed my heart to people and to God. I put myself through college and graduate school.  In a short time I was making more money then my parents did together. Whatever I wanted I got—I earned — by myself.

The problem came much later with alcohol.  I believe that I have always had an alcoholic mind. But my drinking didn’t really get into full swing until my late 20’s. It brought such relief to my anxiety and anger and angst. It was magic. I was hooked. Then it became poison. Then it didn’t work. And then I could NOT stop.  I tried to stop over and over ON MY OWN.  Surely I was not an alcoholic—I did not live under a bridge. I had a good job, marriage, house, cars.  I was a community leader. I DID NOT want to surrender to the idea (or truth) that I was an alcoholic.  My counselor said “if you drink again maybe you should try AA”.  NOPE!! So I stopped. Two and a half long months of sheer hell for me and everyone around me.  I needed a drink sooooo bad. I was irritable, discontented, depressed, anxious, angry and a #@&%!

Out of desperation, I went to AA online for help and they suggested I go to a meeting. NO WAY!  I’ll never forgot what the guy emailed me. He said it was my choice to drink but if I drank again I would loose those 2.5 months and I would have to start over. That got my goat!  He pointed me to an online women’s meeting similar to Grow. There I got a sponsor and started going to face to face meetings and started working the steps.  As I started to surrender to the fact that I couldn’t get sober or stay sober on my own I began to slowly feel some relief.

Today it’s easier for me to surrender. Sometimes it still takes my sponsor to say “now Karrie…..”

I love how it says in the reading….”It has been proven that an act of surrender, originating in desperation and defeat, can grow into an ongoing act of faith, and that faith means freedom and victory”. (Daily reflections July 21)

Today I have freedom from alcohol.  My life has changed. I have changed.  I AM A MIRACLE!

I’m so so grateful to have sobriety!!

Thank you for listening.

Kind regards,

Karrie

11.13.13 dos

Jul 21: Attitude

 Attitude

“Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting. How often we turn minor challenges into monumental barriers by giving them undue attention, forgetting that within any problem lies its solution! However, the center of our focus must be off the problem’s tangle if we are to find the solution’s thread. The best remedy for this dilemma is the Serenity Prayer. We cannot change our children, our husbands or partners, not even the best friends who we know love us. But with God’s help we can change the attitude that has us blocked at this time. A changed attitude, easing up on ourselves, lessening our expectations of others, will open the door to the kind of relationships we seek, the smooth flowing days we long for. We need not take life so seriously. In fact, we shouldn’t take it so seriously. We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves. The 24 hours stretching before us at this time promises many choices in attitude. We can worry, be mad, depressed, or frustrated, or we can trust our higher power to see us through whatever the situation. So, we can relax. It is our decision, the one decision over which we are not powerless. I will be in control of my attitude today. I can have the kind of day I long for.”

 This paragraph hits home for me any day of the week and makes me chuckle.  For example, the past two months I’ve been quite anxious about an upcoming family vacation – 12 days with the parents/sister-in-law, which hasn’t occurred since my pre-sober days.  Before sobriety and AA helped me to change my life, alcohol was my ‘friend’ during these types of visits.  When the going got tough (i.e., things not going my way, family pushing my buttons as they are wont to do), I could ‘depend on’ my buddy booze to numb me up for a few hours each day. Of course, in reality going this route had a terribly negative impact on relationships and always made me feel worse.

 My approach of dealing with the anxiety is different today, thanks to this program and tools such as Hazelden.  While the same feelings of resentments and anger do come up, I choose to respond differently.  I am able to quickly recognize that I cannot control others, only myself.  I keep my expectations and self-centeredness in check.  My God is here to support me if I am willing to slow down long enough to pause and listen, followed by doing the next right behavior.  While the 12 days of vacation will likely have a few self-induced bumps, today I have faith that I will find my way to enjoyment, in spite of my stubborn defects!  As always, I will take it one day (or if needed one moment) at a time.

I would very much like to hear how you prepare for upcoming events that bring up anxiety well in advance, perhaps with people that tend to ‘push your buttons’. 

 Thank you for being here!

Susan P. 

DOS 02/02/2015

Jul 14: A Vision For You

A Vision For You 

“….We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us. Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what
you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you—until then.”
From Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous 4th edition, from the chapter A Vision For You, page 164
This passage from the Big Book has been coming up again and again for me recently. Every time I am met with unrest, unwillingness, negative emotions, everywhere I look in my spiritual toolkit I am led back to this. Whenever I get lost and unsure of what to do, I can easily find direction from these words, purpose, clarity. A beautiful reminder to bring me back down to earth and back to AA. Keep coming back!
Being a part of Alcoholics Anonymous, being able to share openly and honestly with you, my fellow women in recovery, as well as the God of my understanding is so immeasurably healing. Continuously taking the stairway of the steps through life in both good and bad times has reached me on such a deeper level, grown me up so much as a human being and woman.
I am coming up on 9 years of sobriety September 1. For roughly eight years of that time I was in do it yourself recovery. Just me, God, the big book and my also diy recovering boyfriend. I didn’t work the steps other than maybe 1-3, and that was strictly the alcohol and drugs, everything else I was not surrendering. I stayed sober/dry solely by the grace of God but I was extremely lacking in emotional sobriety and that led to a bottom where I was depressed and suicidal and having using dreams like consistently every night. It was enough to bring me into the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, get a sponsor, work the steps and be willing to sponsor women… and for this girl, the miracle is real, beyond description and this program truly has saved my life.
How does this passage impact you when you read it? I find it just so amazingly succinct in addressing our condition and showing us always, one day at a time, how you find hope, how you make beauty from ashes.

Jul 07: Step 7

Step 7

The following comes from the last paragraph of Step 7 in The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions:

“The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.”

Now I am going to share with you an excerpt on my share for Step 6 as it describes my spiritual experience that prepared me for Step 7:

“My most recent Step work was the very first time I feel like I finally understood the meaning of Defects Of Character as it applies to me spiritually.  Anything that my EGO craves or thrives on is a defect and that ties directly into the “isms”, which is connected to Stinking Thinking, Me Me Me, Poor Me, My Way or no way, I deserve this or that for what he/she/them/it/life did to me, what’s the point when no body else follows the rules…etc..

I became aware that it’s the part of me that wants to hang onto justified anger or resentment; the part of me who wants to be the Director and when my expectations aren’t met then all the other glaring defects come oozing out to the surface like an infection ready to jump start my disease into an emotional or psychological relapse, which always sends me straight to that slippery slope that I have zero desire to slide down again.  I have burn marks on my soul from the many slides down that slope…….

I immediately became willing to let go of all the defects of character that I am aware of and those that will sprout up and be revealed.  That true spiritual willingness was really a beautiful and peaceful feeling.  This is where I must go to any lengths to Live The Spiritual Life or I will lose my sobriety.”

Step 7 came directly after this realization.  Asking HP to remove my shortcomings this time around was purely spiritual and truly beautiful.  I could feel all resistance melt away.  I was able to trust my whole being to my HP to remove every defect that stands in the way of doing HP”s Will.  It was easy and peaceful.  I did feel that serenity the BB, 12×12 and Fellowship speak about.

I became more than willing to go to any lengths to do whatever HP guided me to do with every shortcoming. Most of the time, it’s choosing a spiritual action over what the ego wants to do.  I feel that because of my history with sobriety and relapse, Step 7 has to be a permanent part of my every day sober life.

I was sober 3 months before I got a sponsor and started working The Steps.  I was miserable, hopeless, despairing and darkness surrounded my soul.  Putting the plug in the jug was not enough.  My sober life is so much better than it was even at 3 months sober because I am living the AA way of life.  This only came about because I got a sponsor and worked The Steps.

Thank you for allowing me to be of service.

Heather B
7/27/18

Jun 30: Recovery in Your Life

Recovery in Your Life

Today is special for me because it has been exactly 23 years since I had my last (hopefully) drink. It boggles my mind, as I was a daily drinker for three decades, and I had never tried to stop because I knew I couldn’t. I went to my first AA meeting in 1987 (32 years ago). Obviously, it didn’t take. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to quit drinking. I just wanted my husband at the time to get off my back. 

I had known I was an alcoholic for a very long time, but I didn’t care. I had to find my own personal bottom to become willing to do what was suggested. My bottom wasn’t as low as some, but it was low enough for me. I could no longer be that woman. I believe my Higher Power showed me what I had become in the middle of a drunk. I was angry, even violent, and completely delusional. I was broken and hopeless by the time I got back to AA in 1996. But by then, I had the gift of desperation. It was a gift, for that’s what it took for me to take the program seriously. 

I am one of the slow types of alcoholics. I stayed broken and miserable for several years after I stopped drinking. I did the steps, and it helped. But I was still broken. It took a long time for what I was taught to get from my hard head to my heart. I had to learn everything from personal experience before I believed it. I had to do the steps again – and again. Every time I did them, I got better. My life got better. And one day, I realized that some of the 9th Step promises had come true for me. Hope found its way into my heart. 

Those first years, I worked this program like my life depended on it. And it did. Recovery was the main focus of my life. I read the Big Book, went to meetings, participated in this group, and did both formal and informal service work. I ate, slept, and breathed recovery. Not because I wanted to, but because I had no options left but this one. I either stayed in AA and recovery this time, or I died. It didn’t matter if I believed. It didn’t matter if I had hope. It was all there was left for me. Thank God there was this one thing left. It saved my life. It gave me a life I’d never had before. 

Today, recovery is not the all-consuming focus of my life, but it is still my first priority. I learned the hard way that when I don’t work the program, I become nothing but a dry drunk with all the old behaviors. Today, I can’t tolerate that misery for very long. I know what serenity feels like, so I continue to work the program every day. 

So, what I’d like to hear from you this week – no matter how long it’s been since you’ve had a drink – is what recovery means to you personally and what its role is in your life today. Of course, please share whatever you need to share with us. 

Thank you for letting me share,

danna

Jun 23: The Need to Change

The Need to Change

The need to change Laura came to me through my HP, my AA program, newcomers, and long-time AA members.

Once I experienced the relief and blessing of not having to take a drink when I was happy, sad, glad, angry, upset, etc., the ‘need’ to change became a ‘want’ instead.  As the saying goes, AA is not for this who ‘need’ it but for those who ‘want’ it and I wanted desperately what you had.  I couldn’t change everything all at once, but by learning and working through the Steps with my sponsor and listening to those who came before me, I realized that I had to change many things about myself if I were to remain sober.

Thankfully, I learned that ours is a lifetime program and that there is no graduation date because it will take more than a lifetime to change/remove some of my character defects.

What have I needed to change?  Many, many, many aspects of my character; i.e. I had to admit that I needed help from others instead of being too stubborn to ask for it or to even admit that I needed help.  I needed to forgive myself and others.  I needed to be honest in all my affairs.  I needed to accept myself for who I am and am still working on loving the person I am.  A former sponsor of mine told me that every time I looked it the mirror, I was to say, “I love you” which would help me to change my opinion of myself (this one, I’m also still working on from time to time).

The first thing I needed to do was to get help to stop drinking and my HP provided exactly what I needed.  In sobriety, I have been able to build and maintain friendships and leave my drinking buddies behind.  I needed to make time to listen and help others by giving away what was so freely given to me.  I needed to become more health-conscious about what I put into my body and how I take care of it; i.e. quit smoking.  I have had to follow instructions and advice given by healthcare professionals instead of dismissing them without even trying their suggestions (contempt prior to investigation?).  I have become aware of and grateful for the many, many blessings I have received in my life.I would not change the last 30 years of my life in sobriety for anything.  I have slowed down quite a bit due to age and health reasons but due to the Grace of God and you people, I am sober today.  The compulsion to drink was removed as soon as I became serious about getting sober.  I have regained my self-confidence and self-esteem, and have learned a lot about what makes me tick, found my Higher Power whom I call God, joined online AA groups, became a sponsor to a few, and found my niche in the AA way of life.

What changes have you been able to make so far in sobriety?  How do you feel about these changes?  Please feel free to share on this topic or on anything that may be troubling you.  I look forward to hearing from each of you.

Hugs,
Laura G.

Jun 16: Meditation and Prayer

Meditation and Prayer

Hi again I am Sarah and I am definitely alcoholic. I’m grateful to be sharing this week with a group of women that understand my issues and disease inside and out. Welcome to the new women, I hope you stay and find this group useful.

I read a few daily meditations for this Sunday and in trying to pick one I decided to share generally instead of sharing just one (not AA approved literature) I have felt a little overwhelmed lately by trying to do and be everything for everyone (not as much as I used to thank god). I stopped and thought about the meditations I did when I was going through harder times and realized I need to have this discipline again. Even a 5 min breathing exercise helps change my world so significantly so I know in the 12×12 there is a good description of how we are supposed to do this but I wanted to hear from you (busy) women what you do daily as a form of meditation and prayer 🙂 the meeting is now open 🥰🥰🥰🏝 have a wonderful week ! And thank you everyone for showing up for your sobriety !

 

Jun 09: A New Outlook on Life

A New Outlook on Life

This comes from the last paragraph of the personal story: “A Ward From The Probate Court.”

“I have a new outlook on life. I look forward to each day with happiness because the real enjoyment it is to me to be sane, sober, and respectable. I was existing really from one drink until the next, with no perception about circumstances, conditions, or even nature’s elements. My acquaintance with God-lost and forgotten when I was a young man-is renewed. God is all-loving and all-forgiving. The memories of my past are being dimmed by the life I now aspire to.”

I was reminded in a meeting last evening of how I merely existed before coming to the program.

This program offers me a design for living that truly works.

This paragraph sums up what it’s like for me today.

I have such gratitude to live a life that I’m proud of. Some circumstances are the same as when I came in. Same husband. Same job. Same kid (well a second one came in sobriety.) Same family. Same stuff…

But my perceptions have changed. The relationships have changed. I have changed. Today I can say with all my heart that I truly am a sane, sober and respectful (respectable) person. I owe this all to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Please feel free to share on whatever you might have gotten from this topic.

Thank you for allowing me to be of service.

Julie K
5/17/12

Jun 02: Step 6

Step 6

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting about page 75. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions which we call the the ’12 and 12.’ My reference today is the 12 and 12.

Step 6 continues the focus of our recovery from perfection to progress. Step One, our stopping the use of alcohol, is the only Step we need to get perfect.

At Step 6 progress towards perfection is in full swing. From the outside, adhering to Step One would seem to be the hardest step to take. It is then amusing how strong our resistance is to Step 6. The only loophole in Step 6 is that we be ‘entirely ready’ rather than achieving perfection first time out. It requires daily progress and commits us to a lifetime of attention to our character defects. We may have a rather magical interpretation of Step 6 at first. I got excited at the thought of having my character defects taken away with no effort on my part. WOW. Doesn’t work that way!

I am going to repeat myself, but I continue to be so in awe of our founders who knew us so well. Step 6 from the reference I’m using is fun to read, as difficult as the ideas presented there are. We are busted! They knew how we would think when we first heard this Step. It is important to see that we must be willing. That is all that is asked of us. We know that our Higher Power lifted our obsession to drink. Surely our Higher Power will help us here too.

It has always been my belief that alcoholics are smart, good people. We are not bad, but sick. But Step 6 addresses the fact we abandoned all good sense when we drank. We rationalized our misdeeds away. If the phrase ‘art of the deal’ wasn’t already coined, we would have taken credit for it. We wanted to negotiate away the underlying real causes of our actions. But they were really ‘character defects.’ We got upset at our sponsors, at our Higher Power, and at AA when we heard those words. I did–didn’t you?

Our Higher Power gave us our basic instincts for self-preservation. It is our misuse of them that gets us into trouble. There is no such thing as 25% perfection, a little perfection, occasional perfection. That just isn’t the deal. Nothing by half measures we hear. Our Higher Power created alcohol. He did not intend for us to destroy ourselves. None of us has perfect readiness either. That is a relief, I’d say.

Flipping through my playbook of character defects, there are many I can recall. ‘I don’t see why I can’t take a few of those really great gel pens from work–I work hard and they don’t pay me enough.’ ‘I only slept with him once and his wife didn’t know.’ ‘Sure I gossiped, but I didn’t tell ‘that’ many people. ‘My thesis was only 2 days late–give me a break: it’s a graduate program!’ ‘He was making a problem for the neighborhood: I am going out there and set him straight. I’m a good neighbor.’ ‘I don’t get it. How could just one new outfit affect our credit rating?’ ‘I acknowledged my Higher Power. I don’t want to become some sort of fanatic. He knows what I’m thinking anyway, doesn’t He?’ ‘Yeah, I cursed her out. She cut me off. I’m going to get in front of her and slow down.’

We seem to strive, in our human way, for only enough perfection to get us by. We draw up a list of ‘milder defects’ to show our sponsor which we hope will relieve the pressure of this Step. We want to continue to enjoy our character defects. On the face of that, it is really comical to say that we enjoy our character defects–but we do! We don’t want to give them up. I am sure you could edit my paragraph of defects to a point where they could be considered mild. While it is another addition, overeating brings home to me the best negotiations: my plan is not to eat sweets. But, this cookie has all natural ingredients and I am ‘only’ going to eat one. Sugar is natural after all. How bad could it be?

We only need to start work on our character defects, even if our feet slip from time to time. And for the perfectionists among us (me?), we will lose our way from time to time. That is why it is progress toward perfection. Our Higher Power has promised us forgiveness…if only we ask for it. And at the bottom of it all, Never say Never. Just keep on keeping on.

Thank you for letting me share. Enjoy this first month of Summer 2019.

hgz, b. dos 9/21/83

May 26: Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

I’m Sophie, an alcoholic. I’m grateful to A.A. and all I’ve found here, I’m learning more and more to put into practice our program so I can enjoy life and manage in tricky times without having to resort to alcohol or any mind altering substance.
I’ve noticed over the recent weeks and months lots of new ladies here seeking sobriety and trying out A.A. here online in Grow before potentially going along to face to face (f2) meetings – welcome! I hope you’re still here and reading, even if not able to share to the group yet!
My first meeting was a f2f meeting. For the first time in my life I felt understood. And the miracle was these were complete strangers who within minutes I felt they knew me better than my own family.
I was told “we’re not here to see through you, but to see you through”.
I came to know that special feeling of unity in A.A. meetings – of having survived the horrors of active alcoholism and the drinking life.
I have seen that it’s really true that alcohol is the great leveller, and that the equality that exists here amongst members is priceless.
I don’t have to dress a certain way, pray a certain way, eat certain foods, give my credit card details or even tell you my name to be accepted in A.A.
There are many qualities, or character assets, or behaviour that I see here in aa that I strive to have more of in my life – compassion, understanding, patience, forgiveness, unconditional love.
I’ve found meetings (online & f2f) are full of friends I haven’t met yet. I can’t possibly like everyone but I can learn from everyone.
I wasn’t full of confidence when I first started going to A.A. meetings but I’m glad I persevered especially in finding local ones that worked for me.
My whole recovery is online at the moment – I have two little children at home, and I live in a semi-rural area with good meetings few and far. It’s a big change for me but I’ve kept sobriety at number one priority and have women A.A. friends I talk to on the phone and meet up with. As my old sponsor says, do what works for me.
I’ve found true unconditional love here in these rooms, f2f and online. The warmth and the welcome, the women wanting to help by sharing their own experiences or stories.
Sponsorship has been an extension of this unconditional love too for me.
In the same way I’m encouraged to find meetings that work for me I’ve been encouraged to find a sponsor who I feel heard and loved by. It’s been my experience that I’ve needed loving direction rather than brow beating or a kick in the pants.
I love finding and getting to know women I connect with and when that relationship can grow into sponsor-sponsored-sponsee I’ve found for me it’s a way to really get deep with this program and the spiritual tools and self discovery.
For me a sponsor has always been a woman in A.A. who is more experienced in the program than me, who I can talk (or write) to, (I’ve had one or two I’ve been scared of and couldn’t meet their expectations so they just weren’t for me) and who I can see living the program and who I’m inspired by.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for being part of my sobriety journey, and for celebrating last Friday my 19th A.A. birthday. Special times and I wish I could share cake and candles with all of you in person!!
Please join in the meeting if you’d like, on the topic of unconditional love, how you may have found this through sponsorship or meetings or some other way, or on any of the other qualities that you may be learning to practice through our 12 steps, or share on what you need to.

May 19: Cunning, Baffling, Powerful

Cunning, Baffling, Powerful

Hi, I’m Laurie and I’m an alcoholic. Still. Not cured. Even after a lot of years sober. 
 
I am 59, (not lonely), divorced for many years and do not even date, I have trouble picking. I am attracted to control freaks, (practicing) alcoholics, married men, and abusive guys. I am also immature in my thinking about relationships so I stay away from dating. 
In the Big Book they talk about a sober guy eating a sandwich and (even after some time sober) he puts aside his knowledge of his disease and decides that he can take some whiskey if he mixes it with a glass of milk. I believe he either went back to the asylum or died. 
 
This week I had a real bad thought. At work, (I am a table games shift manager in a casino aka “pit boss”) I was just getting to the pit. On Wednesday and Thursday, the boss I relieve is the absolute sexiest and best looking man in my town. And he is really young, about 30. We were watching the guys at the bar, our coworkers who had just gotten off work and were having a cocktail. (You are allowed to do that where I work). Mr. Sexy says this to me: “we need to take Laurie out and get her off the wagon.” I could barely breathe. For the next 8 hours I entertained thoughts of hanging out and drinking with this awesome guy. 
But later, I prayed. And the thought seemed childish and foolish after awhile. But the fact I even considered it was alarming. So I broke down my reasoning:
1) he is really sexy
2) he is the ex of another coworker I don’t like very much (un dealt with resentment maybe?)
3) Maybe I have been isolating too much
4) I really need to work on trusting people and making more appropriate friendships. 
5) Maybe I need to step up my meeting attendance.
6) working my new hours of 1:00 am to 9:30 am has totally fried my brain (tool: H.A.L.T, do not get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. 
7) I should talk about this to another alcoholic
 
I will address the resentment of my female coworker, the ex of Mr. Sexy. 
I am resentful of S. She is younger and prettier than me. She may be sleeping with a way high up boss. Every man in town wants her. 
(Jealousy, envy, fear)
What is the fear behind my resentment? That she will say bad things behind my back while sleeping with the higher up boss, that she is trying to get me fired. 
Breaking down the fear even further: I am really scared of losing my job. That fear has consumed me and I should be living one day at a time. And trusting God. Praying for my customers and coworkers. Praying about my job. Our disease of alcoholism is potentially mind-warping. Even after a period of sobriety. I still get drunk dreams from time to time as well. Facing and discussing our new resentments as they crop up is a great program tool. 
 
I am grateful that I am very busy this week moving to a bigger apartment. Lots of tasks. Keeping me busy instead of in my crazy head. 
Have a great week ladies of G.R.O.W.! 
Love and hugs,
Laurie B.
Mesquite, NV
DOS 12/9/07

May 12: Freedom

Freedom

Today I am free of the monkey on my back – – -the demon rum!!!!  I am free of the guilt, shame and anger that once ruled my life.
I can’t say it any better than it is said on page 553:
“This great experience that released me from the bondage of hatred and replaced it with love is really just another affirmation of the truth I know:   I get everything I need in Alcoholics Anonymous – — -everything I need I get – – –and when I get what I need I invariably find that it was just what I wanted all the time.”
Yesterday’s threats can’t touch me today.  What is true in the now is that those old feelings, perceptions and boundaries are no longer relevant! Today, they are false in the sense that I have outgrown their power!  Fear is slavery.  Overcoming fear is freedom!  Resentments block me from God.  I would become insane, drink and die if I continued to hold on to resentments!  I can no longer afford to let the people on my “resentment list” live rent-free in my head.
I made a decision (Step Three) to let God direct my thinking.   If I allow “others” to direct my thinking, God can’t, and it’s just that simple.   My sponsor had me check out the stupidity behind resentment.  This was finally done with a THOROUGH 4th Step, wherein I was forced to put out of mind the wrongs others had done and check out what I did to set in motion trains of circumstances which in turn caused people to hurt me, which eventually led to my resentment of them for doing so!!!
Before realizing I had created practically every situation – – -when I went back far enough in this Step — -I would replay my “resentment machine” – – – -much like the replay cameras in football – –which led to my “get-even machine”.  My mind never stopped!  Today I am grateful that I realize that it was all a big waste of time!
Today, I turn to page 552 and pray for the person, institution, or principle that I resent.  I do this, as suggested, every day for two weeks.   It has never failed me.  I have found that prayer and hate can’t exist on the same plane.  Love will eventually replace resentment.  Joe and Charlie reminded me that praying for the SOB doesn’t necessarily mean we approve of their action.
Anger comes from a threat to one of the basic instincts of life.  It’s how I choose to react to that threat which determines whether I’m angry or not.  I begin to get a handle on anger.
One thing I have found (and have mentioned before) is that I can’t speed up my recovery, but I sure can slow it down!!!  I “slow it down” by not living the principles (Steps) of this program in all my affairs!
 My sponsor used to say to me:  “A thorough Fourth Step will ruin your ability to hold resentments.”
I attribute my freedom today to the working of the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and then going on to learn how to use them in all my affairs! Before doing this, there was no hope of achieving this freedom!!!!
I look forward to your participation on your experiences with Freedom.
Thanks for listening (hopefully) to my long-winded share on freedom!
Susanne
Murphys, CA
8/17/91

May 05: Step 5

Step 5

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, “Alcoholics Anonymous” (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6, starting on p. 72. And there’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
When I was growing up, I hated cleaning my room. My mom once said, “How could you not have seen that?” She had just watched me step right on a sock on the floor, next to the pile of clothes on my chair that spilled onto the floor. “How can you live like this?” she asked. Of course I got punished, but that didn’t change my behavior. I continued to “live like this” until I got sober and started working the steps. This came to mind when I began to think about Step 5, our topic for the first week of the fifth month.
Looking back at that behavior, I see the parallels with my drinking. Just like that sock, I simply could not see, or chose not to see, what I was doing to myself and others. The consequences of drinking were certainly more dire than leaving a dirty sock on the floor, but alcohol only deepened my denial (Don’t Even Notice I ALying — to myself, first of all). Maybe that’s why it has taken me quite a while, and repeated Steps 4 and 5 many times, in order to really come clean.
Step 5 continues to help keep me honest, open and willing. For me, there’s no possibility of being completely honest if I’m only talking to myself. Step 5 is where I began to learn that opening up to another person was the key to being released from my own prison full of secrets. And for me, there’s no possibility of staying sober if I’m not honest, open and willing. It’s not the threat of punishment that keeps me sober — it’s the loving presence of my higher power, my own self-acceptance and close relationships with trusted AA friends that give me the courage, strength and wisdom to admit my mistakes, make sincere amends and have a chance at living a happy, joyous and free life.
I may still find an occasional dirty sock, but it’s easier to see if I’m in the habit of keeping the place clean to begin with!
I look forward to your shares on Step 5 or on whatever else might be going on with you now. Thanks for letting me share (and chair!).

Apr 28: HOW

HOW

There are a lot of acronyms in the program of AA. One that has been significant to me is HOW. HOW— Honest, Open, and Willing. When I was drinking, I was dishonest, closed to suggestions, and unwilling to make changes in my life. I thought everyone else was the problem—they caused me to drink. The whole idea of being honest scared me to the core. I was afraid if people found out who I was they wouldn’t like me. When I heard that HOW was a way to live I didn’t think I could do it. It was daunting. My sponsor suggested that I pray to become willing– willing to be open and willing to be honest. That’s what I did. That was and still is a scary prayer…”God help me be willing to work these steps, willing to take suggestions, willing to humble myself, willing to be vulnerable. I would love to hear your thoughts on honesty, openness and willingness.
Thanks for letting me chair.

Kind regards,
Karrie

Trusted Servants 04/2019

Trusted Servants

  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): Sophie email
  • Birthday Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): Ruth F. email
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): Sherrie W. email

Trusted Servants who make up the Steering Committee:

  • Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): Joan B. email
  • GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M. email
  • GVR (10/18-10/19): Barbara M. email
  • Greeter (4/19-4/20): Sarah K.  email
  • Greeter (4/19-4/20): Louise H. email
  • Listkeeper (4/19-4/20): Karen H. email
  • Listkeeper Alternate* (4/19-4/21): Nancy C. email
  • OIAA Rep (10/18-10/19): Lynn H. email and Kirsten V. email
  • Secretary (10/18-10/19): Ruth F. email
  • Temporary Mentor (4/18-4/19): Danna M. email
  • Treasurer (10/17-10/19): Sue W. email
  • Web Admin (4/19-4/20): Tanya C. email
  • Webkeeper (4/19-4/20): Allison M. email
  • Webkeeper Backup (4/19-4/20):
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (4/19-4/20): Gigi email
  • Immediate Past Business Meeting Chair: Danna M. email
  • Immediate Past GSR: Joan B. email
  • Immediate past OIAA: Jenny P email
  • Immediate Past Secretary: Karrie C. email

Apr 21: More Will Be Revealed

More Will Be Revealed

“Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.” (page 164, Alcoholics Anonymous)

My name is Nydia and I am an alcoholic. I am grateful I can be of service this week as the topic leader, thank you Grow.

More is revealed – slowly – in God’s time not mine. Every time I see those words in A Vision for You, I am reminded: be teachable Nydia. The Universe or Life continues to unfold. If I am teachable, then I can be open to the wonder of it.

In sobriety I am discovering more about myself, my family, who are my friends, what I like, what I am passionate about, where I feel safe and where I need to step out of my comfort zone. I am learning how I can be of service and a friend among friends.

I am also learning, to say “I don’t know”, recognise when I am lost and be open to seeing something from another point of view. It is a leap of faith: at times scary, at times fun and always adventurous.

What has been revealed to you?

Apr 14: Let Go…Let God

Let Go…Let God

Thank you all for being here everyday.  I look forward to reading your shares.  What a gift to be reminded I’m not alone!
 
My whole life I’ve struggled with control0 and still do…control of people, places and things as well as myself.  Funny I couldn’t control my drinking!  Lol
 
I see now by manipulating the plan my HP has in place only causes me and others harm.  By not allowing others to make choices for themselves robs them of valuable coping skills.  Being a first time (sober) grandma I share my experience only when asked!!  Ha…I’ve grown.
Today, because of the program, I can let go.  It was exhausting to have to be God all those years!  Please share on your experience with letting go or anything that may be on your mind.
 
In love and service,
Statia
04/15/2010

Apr 07: There Are No Coincidences

There Are No Coincidences

Hello, my name is Allison M and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic.

How many times do we hear in sobriety that there are no coincidences? I’ve heard them called God shots. I have also heard that coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.

In my drinking days, I had lots of grandiose plans and zero energy to set any of them in motion. I drifted along in life like a twig in a river. When something went well for me, I happily took credit for my hard work – it never occurred to me that a Power was setting events in motion that even I couldn’t mess up.

With a bit of time sober and the clarity it gives me, I now know that my HP is always at work, way ahead of me, with a wonderful plan that will unfold if I don’t fight it or second-guess. I often can’t see until later that a series of random happenings has culminated in just what I needed, like being introduced to the person who brought me to my first meeting (we were shopping in a consignment store with mutual friends), or holding the door for a stranger who shows up as a newcomer at a meeting that evening.

I remind myself often that I can only see my little corner of the puzzle while my HP has a birds-eye view. What appears to me to be a setback or a hardship may actually be putting me in the path of someone or something that becomes a significant turning point in my life better than anything I could think up on my own.

What “coincidences” have helped your recovery or brought you an unexpected blessing? Please share your experiences about There Are No Coincidences, or whatever is affecting your sobriety today. I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

0419 – Proposal 13: Weekly Topic Message

Proposal 13: Weekly Topic Leader Message 

Add language about a On-call Meeting Leader List to Weekly Topic Leader Message and make additional edits to the Weekly Leader Listkeeper Responsibilites.

Recommended Language: “My name is [ Weekly Topic Leader Listkeeper Name ]. I am an alcoholic, and I’m also your
Weekly Leader Listkeeper. I am taking volunteers for the [ time period ].
Here is the calendar of our upcoming leaders scheduled to chair. A big GROW thank you to all
who are committed to growing in service.
Month: [ Month ]
[ Date, Name ] Step Meeting
[ Date, Name ]
[ Date, Name ]
[ Date, Name ]
Here is your opportunity to volunteer to lead a weekly meeting, choosing a topic that relates to
your individual experience, strength and hope or a topic you would like to hear about, that relates
to alcoholism recovery. The requirements necessary to lead a meeting are 90 days of continuous
sobriety and a member of GROW for more than 30 days.
[The April 2019 GROW business meeting designated the first meeting of the month to be a
STEP MEETING. Please limit your lead share to the step of the corresponding month.]
If you would like to volunteer, just hit reply and let me know which available date you would be
willing to lead. Here are the available dates:
[ Month, Day ] Step Meeting
[ Month, Day ]
[ Month, Day ]
[ Month, Day ]
[ Month, Day ]
We try to give thoughtful attention to those who would like to lead a meeting around their A. A.
anniversary. If the date requested is already filled, you will be offered another available date.
Around Wednesday or Thursday of the week before you’re set to chair, I’ll contact you and pass
on the meeting format. If, for some reason you cannot do the meeting on your selected
Sunday, please let me know as soon as possible so I can find a replacement leader.
I look forward to hearing from each and every one of you. The topic meeting is a great way
of saying “hi” and letting us all get to know you better. Thank you for your participation
and thank you for letting me be of service.
[ Name ]
Weekly Leader Listkeeper
P.S. As our membership is *growing*, we are getting duplicate names. When you respond
please include your name and the first initial of your last name.”

Rationale:


Summary of Comments on Proposal 13

No discussion


Results of Voting on Proposal 13

Passed 8 agree, 0 disagree


Group Conscience Decision:

Add recommended language to the Weekly Topic Leader Message.

0419 – Proposal 12: Monthly Step Meeting

Proposal 12: Monthly Step Meeting

  • I propose that the current Step language pertinent to each month be inserted into the regular meeting format for the month indicated. It should be inserted at the start of the Lead section, and the Weekly Leader may add her lead immediately after that.
  • I also propose that the Tradition should continue to be sent at the start of each month just as has been done.

Summary of Comments on Proposal 12

The discussion was a dialog about the language for the step topic and who would supply it. Here are the comments:

1. Question: Who will insert the language for the Step meeting for the corresponding month at the beginning of each month? The Weekly Lead or the Weekly Leader Listkeeper?
2. The Weekly Listkeeper will insert the language into to the format.
3. So if I understand correctly, the request for weekly leaders forms will need a paragraph about the first week being a step meeting. Then when the weekly leader list keeper sends the weekly reminder for the first week of the month she’s going to have to amend the letter to reflect the meeting is a step meeting? If that’s the case we should just approve another letter so she has it on hand 4. If we made it another form letter we would need 12 form letters, 1 for each month. I think the Weekly Listkeeper can insert the topic each month.
5. I support the proposal to insert the language we currently use for the relevant Step Meeting.
6. Thanks Amanda for clarifying that change to the weekly Listkeeper job description re leaving just Tradition as monthly.
7. With respect to all views, I’d suggest we leave it to the weekly Listkeeper to work out if she needs to pre-prepare additional form letters/drafts or if she’ll copy and paste for the relevant month. It feels as if this could be a case of trusting our Trusted Servants to carry out the role, and if needed formalising additional form letters at a future business meeting?
8. What has been shared here makes sense to me. Seems simpler.
9. Makes sense.
10. This proposal does not include/contain the language to be inserted into the regular meeting format, and I’m not sure what the “current Step language” means. Could you insert the recommended language within the proposal so we know what we’re voting on?
11. To answer Danna’s question, the current language refers to the  lead that is used in the current monthly step meeting. It is in the form letters for the step/traditions meetings. Does that answer your question?
12. Every proposal that changes a job description, form letter, or any
“official” GROW document should also include a “Recommended Language” section so that it is very clear what we’re approving. Because this proposal does not explicitly contain the recommended language, and I’m not sure what I’m voting on …
I disagree (vote changed to agree)


Results of Voting on Proposal 12

Voting: Twelve (12) participants in favor, and no one voted against.


Group Conscience Decision:

The current Step language pertinent to each month will be inserted into the regular meeting format for the month indicated. It should be inserted at the start of the Lead section, and the Weekly Leader may add her lead immediately after that.

The Tradition will continue to be sent at the start of each month.

0419 – Proposal 11: Weekly Leader Reminder

Proposal 11: Weekly Leader Reminder Letter

Add form letter to GROW form letters page titled Weekly Leader Reminder Letter, to be sent to the upcoming leader on Wednesday. 

Recommended Language:

“Dear :
I’m sending you a friendly reminder that you are scheduled to chair this upcoming Sunday. I’ll be attaching a clean copy of the updated meeting format to this email. Let me know if you have trouble opening it or copying it to an email. Please remember not to add any urls in your post!

**Please reply to this email to verify your availability to lead this Sunday. You must send your meeting lead email on Saturday night, no later than Sunday morning, to ensure that ladies in various time zones will receive the meeting on Sunday morning.

If, for some reason you cannot chair the meeting this Sunday, please let me know before Saturday so I can find a replacement leader.

*For a list of meeting topics that have been previously used, visit the following link on the GROW webpage. http://www.g-r-ow.com/members/topics/chrontopics.htm

Thank you for your service!

-Weekly Leader Listkeeper”

Rationale:

  • This letter needs to be sent each Wednesday to ensure the assigned leader will be available for the upcoming Sunday meeting. There is no “official” form letter on GROW for this. Making this an “official” form letter would make sure the Listkeeper had an approved form letter to use each week, reflecting past business meeting decisions. Refer to the April 2012 business meeting decision below, where it was decided that the meeting be posted on Saturday, no later than Sunday morning.
  • Weekly Meeting > Topic Postings (4/12)
    Decision: We have consensus on this Proposal and it is APPROVED that we begin posting the meeting on Saturday, no later than Sunday morning. We will “revisit” this topic in our October 2012 Business Meeting to discuss possible modification of our website and literature to reflect this change.Proposal: Begin posting the meeting on Saturday, no later than Sunday morning, to ensure that ladies in various time zones will receive the meeting on Sunday.

Summary of Comments on Proposal 11

  1. I strongly disagree with this suggested language. We have been here before, as having meeting leads consistently “on time” has always been an issue. It’s inappropriate to require meeting leaders to post their leads on Saturday, as our meeting starts on Sunday. The group decided in past debates that we can suggest people post on Saturday but not require it. Also, “Sunday morning” is difficult because our members are in so many time zones. I would change the language as follows.
    **Please reply to this email to verify your availability to lead this Sunday. You must can send your meeting lead email on Saturday night, no later than Sunday morning, to ensure that ladies in various time zones will receive the meeting on Sunday morning. I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask people to let the listkeeper know before Saturday if they can’t chair. This will not help with people who simply forget to post their leads (I have been guilty of this) or who have something come up at the last minute. The listkeeper has already asked them to confirm they will be there on Sunday. If they do not confirm, that’s a clear sign there may be a problem. If they do confirm, we have to trust that they’ll do it.Basically, this proposal is asking the meeting leads to solve what is an occasional problem for the Weekly Meeting Lead Listkeeper. I just don’t think it’s necessary. I would delete this sentence completely. If, for some reason you cannot chair the meeting this Sunday, please let me know before Saturday so I can find a replacement leader.
  2. Sounds great.
  3. This letter is very good and I appreciate having it. Thanks to Amanda for taking her job to heart and creating this.
  4. Minority Opinion after the vote
    • My only problem with this proposal is the following sentence: “If, for some reason you cannot chair the meeting this Sunday, please let me know before Saturday so I can find a replacement leader.” I would change my vote to “I agree” if the words “before Saturday” were deleted.
    • I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask people to let the listkeeper know before Saturday if they can’t chair. What happens if the person doesn’t know until Saturday that they won’t be available? This will not help with people who simply forget to post their leads (I have been guilty of this) or who have something come up at the last minute. The listkeeper has already asked them to confirm they will be there on Sunday. If they do not confirm, that’s a clear sign there may be a problem. If they do confirm, we have to trust that they’ll do it.
    • If the Weekly Leader Listkeeper maintains a list of women who will step in to lead a meeting when the scheduled person doesn’t post the meeting, she doesn’t need the advance notice to find a replacement lead.
    • Basically, the language “before Saturday” is asking the meeting leads to solve what is an occasional problem for the Weekly Meeting Lead Listkeeper. I just don’t think it’s necessary. It won’t solve the problem, and it imposes an unnecessary requirement on the weekly lead.
  5. Again, the rationale behind this is to give the WLL a heads up IF POSSIBLE. There is no punishment or consequence if they can’t. This is a courtesy! I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask people to be courteous and let the WLL know ahead of time if they can’t Chair. If they don’t show or run late, that’s a separate issue. This is for people that know they have a conflict ahead of time.If things happen, they happen and we are more than flexible when life happens! This has been working so far when I sent this request to our chairs.  The big question here is… does the language “before Saturday” help or hurt the group and the way it functions… or this an issue of people personally not wanting so many “guidelines”? This is about what helps our group function and get meetings posted on time for everyone.
  6. This happens so rarely that I don’t think it’s necessary to add another task to the Weekly Topic Leader’s responsibilities. As a group, I think that we can allow our members to think for themselves instead of being told what to do. We can’t legislate courtesy or good manners, or know in advance that we won’t be available on a particular Sunday.  Also, let’s not forget that unlike f2f meetings that last for about 1-1/2 hours (someone had mentioned that they start on time) our meetings last for one week. This gives us plenty of time to receive and share on a Topic by either the Topic Leader or her replacement. My $.02 tonight.
  7. Part of the confusion that I see the possibility of, is double posting of meetings. If an overzealous , stickler for the rules weekly leader doesn’t see a meeting posted by the time required, then, in all fairness to her, she would go ahead and post a meeting, That is clearly unfair to the leader who has been waiting for 3 months to lead a meeting, if she should happen to run late of forget, for a moment. This has been an issue in the past, and we have survived with barely a few meetings posted as late as Monday. But its really not fair to give the lead every chance for their opportunity. My two cents.
  8. I see 8 am PST as a suggestion. I am not intending to hold anyone to this while I am WLL. As long as I know that someone is going to post that day, preferably that morning or midday US time, I am okay with that. It is when I do not hear back from the person signed up that I must find myself with a bit of extra work. Once the business meeting is concluded, I will send out the revised letter seeking backup leaders.

Results of Voting on Proposal 11

Pass 13 agree, 0 disagree


Group Conscience Decision:

Add recommended language to the Weekly Topic Leader Message.

0419 – Proposal 10: Weekly Leader Listkeeper

Proposal 10: Weekly Leader Listkeeper

Add language about a On-call Meeting Leader List to Weekly Topic Leader Message and make additional edits to the Weekly Leader Listkeeper Responsibilites.

Recommended Language: “If you would like to be added to the on-call meeting leader list, please reply and let me know. You will be added to a list of volunteers who are willing to quickly post a weekly topic when the scheduled chair is unavailable. The only requirement is that you are available to check your email every Saturday/Sunday and respond quickly to a request from the Weekly Leader Listkeeper, so she can find someone to chair in a timely manner.”

Rationale:

  • The bullet descriptions concerning calling for volunteers and posting the meeting schedule need more clarity as to when to send each item, so I added “at the beginning of the month”. I have been doing this and it works well to send the call for volunteers and current month’s schedule at the beginning of the month.
  • The bullet concerning posting regularly weekly reminders is a repeat and doesn’t need to be there.
  • The bullet concerning confirming the member’s status two weeks before is not needed, because the list keeper contacts the assigned leader personally on the Wednesday before the meeting. This is an extra, unnecessary duty.
  • The bullets concerning a list for weekly leaders and replacing the topic leader needs more clarity. This has been an unclear area and has caused some problems during my current term. I added a specific time to replace the topic leader, if a topic has not been posted on Sunday morning. Also, if we have a list of willing leaders, why make a general announcement to the group? I believe making a general announcement is embarrassing to the assigned leader and negates the point of having a list of willing leaders. (Refer to the business meeting decision on October 2011 about maintaining a back-up list of willing leaders)

Summary of Comments on Proposal 10

No objection here.


Results of Voting on Proposal 10

Pass 13 agree, 0 disagree


Group Conscience Decision:

Make the additional edits to the Weekly Leader Listkeeper Duties.

Add recommended language to the Weekly Topic Leader Message.

0419 – Proposal 9: Weekly Leader Listkeeper

Proposal 9: Weekly Leader Listkeeper TS Responsibilities

Delete current descriptions and add proposed descriptions for Weekly Leader Listkeeper on the GROW trusted servant responsibilities page.

**** Delete the 8 current bullets below:

  • At the end of each month, calls for topic volunteers to fill the 3rd unfilled month, using Weekly Leader Template approved by group conscience.
  • Send the one-month schedule of meeting chair dates and corresponding Weekly Leaders to the group on a monthly basis (in addition to posting regular weekly reminders of the meeting topics)
  • Schedules should be completed for no more than three months in advance.
  • Post regular weekly reminders of the meeting topics and post the upcoming chairs.
  • Two weeks prior to meeting date, confirm topic leader is still a GROW member.
  • Provide weekly topic leader with clean copy of meeting format.
  • Replace the topic leader if necessary through general announcement to the group.
  • Maintain a list of those willing to lead a topic (chair a meeting) each Sunday, including email address.

*** Add the following 4 bullets for clarity:

  • “At the beginning of each month, send the current month’s schedule of meeting chair dates and corresponding leaders to the group.”
  • “At the beginning of each month, send the Weekly Topic Leader Message form letter for the 3rd unfilled month. Schedules should be completed no more than three months in advance.”
  • “Send the Weekly Leader Letter to the upcoming leader on the previous Wednesday, reminding them of their scheduled meeting lead on the following Sunday. Attach a clean copy of the meeting format. Make sure they reply, verifying their availability to chair the upcoming meeting.”
  • “Maintain a list of on-call meeting leaders that are willing to replace the Topic Leader, if the scheduled leader hasn’t responded to emails or has not posted a meeting by Sunday morning (8 AM PST)”

Rationale:

  • The bullet descriptions concerning calling for volunteers and posting the meeting schedule need more clarity as to when to send each item, so I added “at the beginning of the month”. I have been doing this and it works well to send the call for volunteers and current month’s schedule at the beginning of the month.
  • The bullet concerning posting regularly weekly reminders is a repeat and doesn’t need to be there.
  • The bullet concerning confirming the member’s status two weeks before is not needed, because the list keeper contacts the assigned leader personally on the Wednesday before the meeting. This is an extra, unnecessary duty.
  • The bullets concerning a list for weekly leaders and replacing the topic leader needs more clarity. This has been an unclear area and has caused some problems during my current term. I added a specific time to replace the topic leader, if a topic has not been posted on Sunday morning. Also, if we have a list of willing leaders, why make a general announcement to the group? I believe making a general announcement is embarrassing to the assigned leader and negates the point of having a list of willing leaders. (Refer to the business meeting decision on October 2011 about maintaining a back-up list of willing leaders).

Summary of Comments on Proposal 9

  1. It is so nice to have a nice clear list and procedure for MIA leaders. Again, my thanks!
  2. Thank you for simplifying the process here. This proposal offers effectiveness and manageability. I support this.
  3. Brings more clarity and definite timelines, I like it
  4. Thank you, Amanda. You’ve done a great job at revising this Job Description!
  5. Minority Opinion after the vote.  I voted “I disagree” on this proposal because I cannot support the following bullet as written:
    • “Maintain a list of on-call meeting leaders that are willing to replace the Topic Leader, if the scheduled leader hasn’t responded to emails or has not posted a meeting by Sunday morning (8 AM PST)”
    • My problem with the bullet is the imposition of a time deadline on posting the Sunday meeting (“… by Sunday morning (8 AM PST)”). Our meetings begin on Sunday, but we have never decided as a group that they should begin no later than a specific time on Sunday. This bullet makes that decision for us. It is not appropriate to require our weekly meeting leaders to get their lead out by a certain time on Sunday, particularly when the business meeting has not made that decision.
    • The deadline is stated for the Pacific Standard Time zone, meaning leaders will have to figure out what time that is in their time zone. This is further complicated by the fact that it refers to Standard Time rather than Daylight Savings Time. There will be large portions of the year in which the PST requirement doesn’t make sense.
    • We have, as a group, debated the question of when a meeting should be posted many times. This one bullet in the proposal imposes a decision on Grow that the business meeting participants have not discussed. I would agree with the proposal if the parenthetical “(8 AM PST)” were deleted.
  6. There are several discussions to be had in this opinion. There needs to be three new proposals made I guess. I had them in separate proposals but was told to combine them because we only have a month for this meeting…
    1. Maintaining a list of on call leaders
    2. Posting the meeting late Saturday or early Sunday.
    3. Time frame for posting.
      1. Maintaining a list of on call leaders is already on the current job description for WLL. If there is a disagreement with this, it needs to be a separate proposal.
      2. Posting the meeting on Saturday evening or Sunday morning is a group conscience decision from 2012 that is not being followed through with. We would need a separate proposal to change this.
      3. As far as the additional time, it’s just a courtesy to have the meeting be available for everyone on Sunday morning. 8 AM PST is 11 AM EST and even later for those in Europe. How is that not acceptable? Any later in the day would not be morning anymore. I think this is reasonable. As I said before, face to face meetings have times to show up. No one has had any issue posting the meeting by 8 AM PST since I started testing it out the past few months. If people need more time, they ask and it’s totally fine. If there needs to be a separate proposal for this, I’ll be happy to make one.

Results of Voting on Proposal 9

Voting: Passed after second vote 8 agree, 1 disagree.


Group Conscience Decision:

We have consensus on this Proposal and it is APPROVED that we begin posting the meeting on Saturday, no later than Sunday morning. We will “revisit” this topic in our October 2012 Business Meeting to discuss possible modification of our website and literature to reflect this change.

Proposal: Begin posting the meeting on Saturday, no later than Sunday morning, to ensure that ladies in various time zones will receive the meeting on Sunday.