0419 – Proposal 8: Assign Temporary Sponsors

Proposal 8: Assign Temporary Sponsors When Requested

Proposals 7 and 8 were submitted as 2 proposals, but the rational applies to both. I am posting 2 proposals with the same rational attached to both.

Proposal 8: The Sponsor Listkeeper will work with the Temporary Mentor to assure that newcomers who want a sponsor are assigned a temporary sponsor.

Rationale: During our discussions on the Temporary Mentor (newcomer committee and providing links to AA resources), it became clear that there are issues related to the Online Available Sponsors list/webpage because the people on that list do not always respond timely (or at all) to newcomers’ requests for help. Further, Available Online Sponsors do not rotate, and the only members that rotate on both the 12th Step List and the Sponsor List are the listkeepers. The Available Online Sponsor webpage creates the impression that only people on the sponsor list can sponsor, which in reality is not the case.


Summary of Comments

Read Proposal 7 and 8: Online Sponsors for details.


Group Conscience Decision:

An ad hoc committee was formed to craft a proposal for the October 2019 meeting that is inclusive for all the Trusted Servant job descriptions that address helping members with sponsorship.

0419 – Proposal 7 and 8: Online Sponsors

Proposal 7: Discontinue Online Sponsors

Proposals 7 and 8 were submitted as 2 proposals, but the rational applies to both. I am posting 2 proposals with the same rational attached to both.

Proposal 7 and 8: GROW will better support newcomers to our group and to AA. This will involve a two-pronged approach, 7 and 8.

Proposal 7: In order to assure that newcomers have access to a sponsor, GROW will: Discontinue GROW’s webpage “Available Online Sponsors”.

Proposal 8: The Sponsor Listkeeper will work with the Temporary Mentor to assure that newcomers who want a sponsor are assigned a temporary sponsor.

Rationale: During our discussions on the Temporary Mentor (newcomer committee and providing links to AA resources), it became clear that there are issues related to the Online Available Sponsors list/webpage because the people on that list do not always respond timely (or at all) to newcomers’ requests for help. Further, Available Online Sponsors do not rotate, and the only members that rotate on both the 12th Step List and the Sponsor List are the listkeepers. The Available Online Sponsor webpage creates the impression that only people on the sponsor list can sponsor, which in reality is not the case.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 7 and 8

  1. For the reasons given in the proposals, I agree with both proposals.
    • While I was temporary mentor (just outgoing presently), I was dismayed to find that newcomers had sought out a sponsor from the list, only to be turned down (sometimes by more than one on the list), or not even replied to until weeks later, when they were again turned down. In one case, a person on the sponsor list had been out drinking again (she’d been very honest about it with our group) yet her name had remained on the list (which I disagreed with as I know in my first days and years with AA, when I was slipping and sliding, I would have been of no use to anyone, and could actually have been a harmful influence on a person trying to get sober.
    • One lady had tried with two different people, to be rejected twice. I have a hunch this lady might now be drinking. Through me acting as temp mentor, I did set her up with a potential sponsor from a member on our newcomer group. I did this with one or two others.
    • This of course doesn’t reflect that there might have been cases where those on the list did respond to others and established good sponsor/sponsee relationships. But the fact that it did happen at least a few times (from my experience) and more instances of it apparently since our last business meeting (!) is evidence enough that it doesn’t function well at all i.e. not fit for purpose.
    • Further, no rotation is not a good thing, as for one, it is never clear whether the names on the list are still available, or even participating in Grow. There’s a sense of it being a ‘dead’ list.
    • Also, as stated, it gives the false impression to newcomers that available sponsors are only those on the list.
  2. I believe we should not have a sponsor list. In a face to face meeting, there are no sponsor lists. You pick someone based on what they have to say and based on a connection to their story. A random name on a list is not helpful and if they get the nerve up to ask and don’t get a response, imagine how detrimental that would be. I believe that it is part of sobriety to ask people if they would sponsor you and have to deal with whichever response they get. There are people that are willing to sponsor that don’t want to be on that list. It’s just not something I’ve ever seen a group do and it doesn’t actually always help someone needing a sponsor. There’s my two cents. Thanks!
  3. My first issue is the wording of this proposal. How will discontinuing the Available Online Sponsors webpage help assure that newcomers have access to a sponsor? Everything before the colons should be struck from the proposal language.
    • After talking to several people who have used the sponsor list, I am convinced that it does not serve our group well. The major complaint was that no one on the list responded to members seeking a sponsor. That people volunteered to be on the list suggests they would be responsive. Not responding is a terrible message to send, especially to newcomers. Grow can’t police the actions (or lack of) of the potential sponsors. It is better not to offer the information than to set people up for feeling rejected or abandoned when no one responds. When Grow publishes a list, it appears to endorse the women on it. When those women do not respond or respond inappropriately, Grow itself is letting people down.The Sponsor Listkeeper can’t screen the volunteers or assure that they are really “available.”
    • It is more important, I think, that people know they can ask anyone in Grow to sponsor them.
    • At f2f meetings, we do not help people find sponsors. We tell them to get a sponsor, but we do not offer them candidates or monitor the sponsor-sponsee relationship. Finding a sponsor is up to the person who needs one. Being responsible for one’s own recovery is critical to staying sober. Again, we need to let people know they can ask anyone to sponsor them, but we should not point them to specific individuals.
    • Another issue is whether we should send out a list of available sponsors at all, which this proposal does not address. The problem is the same – people on the list not responding. Personally, I think we should seriously consider eliminating the list altogether. It is not working as we hoped it would.
  4. I have spent years in the sponsor list. I was rarely contacted. When I was I responded and sometimes I was turned down for scheduling issues or others….
    • Sometimes a relationship was established for a short time.
    • The sponsor list keeper also checks monthly to see if I am wanting to continue my commitment. So in that fashion the list should be considered current
    • The drinking person should have been removed.
    • I am still a proponent of dissolving this position as I also see it isn’t doing the job we hope it will. And finding a way to combine some language in the temporary mentor and twelfth step lists for those requiring more immediate support
  5. Based upon what I am hearing about sponsors being unavailable when called upon, I believe it is time to disband the position. I agree with the comment that we don’t hand out a list of sponsors at f2f meetings, but allow members to seek their own by listening to them at meetings and watching how they treat others.
    • The Temporary Mentor stays with the new people and helps them to get organized. At the same time, she could advise the new ladies how to select a sponsor in our group (without the Sponsor List) by reading all of the shares and asking someone to sponsor her.
  6. Isn’t this organically leading to the Temporary Mentor and Newcomer Committee stepping into amended roles of Sponsor Listkeeper (Temp Mentor) and Sponsor list (newcomer committee)?
    • The temp mentor would send out the initial mail to the new person, offering help if needed. It could be made clear in the mail that temporary sponsors/ mentors were available from a list of those on the newcomer committee.
    • I found as temp mentor that we had such willing members eager to link up with new persons, in a spirit of acting as a bridge at least until a sponsor was found. However, apart from a spate last year of calls for help, most new members don’t even respond to the 1st and 2nd mails sent by the TM. Or respond with a thank you and saying all was well but they appreciated a TM reaching out. So the newcomer committee members were raring to go but there were no takers for the most part!
    • While that is going on, we really don’t know how much activity is happening with the sponsor list, except for the less than good experiences that have been reported here in the last and the present business meetings. I’m taken aback that it has continued to happen despite our pulling our bootstraps up at the last business meeting. I haven’t yet heard any positive stuff– I’d like to.
    • So, and considering the input here so far, I think we should do away with both sponsor listkeeper and sponsor list roles, and somehow make clear to the group that those services are now available within the TM and newcomer committee (whose role would be expanded to act as temp sponsors rather than simply point the new person in the direction of a sponsor list which isn’t showing a great record of response). This way we’d at least be assured that members were responding to the needs of new persons. The TM would keep some sort of group ‘chat’ going, perhaps on a monthly basis so I’m envisaging a more ongoing dialogue between TM and newcomer committee members than that of Sponsor listkeeper and those on Sponsor List.
    • I think as someone suggested too that we make it clear that anyone in our group can be approached for sponsorship. Just as in face- to-face meetings. It might be worthwhile putting out a monthly notice about sponsorship, informing/reminding us that seeming ‘rejection’ isn’t always a bad or personal thing!
  7. Just some thoughts on the sponsor list questions. It might be helpful to hear from some of the people currently on the Sponsor List as to whether they have been asked and gotten some sponsees from being on the List. In other words, what about the people who are genuinely wanting to sponsor someone?
    • When I joined Grow in 2003, I don’t remember seeing a Sponsor List but I wanted to find a sponsor so I read the shares and asked someone who’s shares I liked. I was turned down, but I kept reading and asking. I did find a sponsor and it worked out.
    • Perhaps it would be good to amend the language on the sponsor announcement to say something to the effect that one way to find a sponsor is to simply ask someone whose shares resonate with them as well as providing the list of names also mentioning that it may take several tries.
  8. I appreciated Sherrie’s suggestion. I have been on the sponsor list and it’s only been this year that I’ve been asked to sponsor via email. I have responded as quickly as possible and have made myself available. I think it’s a very important service to a fellow AA new, coming back to the program, or even someone with sobriety but new to GROW. I take it seriously knowing how important having a sponsor has been for me. This kind of service helps me to stay sober and never ceases to amaze me how this program works.
    • I think it’s important for anyone on the list to respond to all inquiries timely and not ignore anyone asking for help. If I can’t help either because of time or whatever then I should go back to the sponsor listkeeper and/or temporary mentor to let them know. I can’t help but wonder if we’ve underutilized our trusted servants in these 2 positions. There are a variety of ways finding a sponsor could be handled. Requests for a sponsor could go to the temporary mentor who fields and directs those inquiries helping to find someone suitable and then following up after a few days to see how it’s working and whether or not first contact has been made. The sponsor listkeeper keeps the list up to date adding or removing members as people’s ability to be of service change.
    • I haven’t looked at the job descriptions yet for these 2 positions so maybe those of you who have served in either position would be helpful in providing feedback.
    • I don’t want to keep pointing fingers at what the volunteers on the sponsor list are or aren’t doing. We are all responsible. We as a group can utilize positions/resources already in place so we don’t “lose” people from GROW and/or to drinking because of neglect.
  9. As the proposal is written, it would eliminate the webpage but not the monthly notice/list that the Sponsor Listkeeper sends out. To me, that is an acceptable solution.
    • My concerns about having the list on our website boils down to two things: the webpage makes it look like Grow is endorsing those women as sponsors, and it creates the impression that these are the only potential sponsors available to our members.
    • Like others, I appreciate the efforts of those women who have taken their roles seriously and do not mean to ignore their contributions. At the same time, I’ve heard enough complaints to doubt that the webpage accomplishes what we hoped it would. Also, having been the webkeeper, I know that the webpage may not always be up-to-date.

Results of Voting on Proposal 7

Proposal 7.2 was tabled with 8.2 until a member asked that 7.2 be voted on to give the ad hoc committee a sense of if there was a desire to eliminate the online sponsor list.

The results of the vote was 15 agree, 0 disagree.


Group Conscience Decision:

An ad hoc committee was formed to craft a proposal for the October 2019 meeting that is inclusive for all the Trusted Servant job descriptions that address helping members with sponsorship.

0419 – Proposal 6: Step Meeting

Proposal 6: Step Meeting

GROW will allocate the first weekly meeting each month as a Step meeting. The Weekly Lead Listkeeper will identify the date of the first Sunday each month when asking for volunteer leads, naming the corresponding Step (eg, January = Step 1) as the topic for that week. Grow will continue to have a Tradition as a monthly topic, sent out by the Weekly Lead Listkeeper as per current Grow conscience/guidelines. (October 2018)

Recommended Language: Add a bullet to the Weekly Lead Listkeeper’s job description as follows:

  • Allocate the first meeting of each month to the corresponding Step by identifying the Step as the topic next to the date on the volunteer lead request message.

Rationale: It appears the Step/Tradition monthly topics are shared on much less than any weekly topics despite us having longer to do so. From time to time (about 10 times over the last 4 years) we have seen a Step as a weekly topic. The number of shares was similar to weeks where the topic was self-selected by the lead – showing that by having the focus of a Step in the weekly meeting does encourage more sharing than our current monthly practice.

As our primary purpose reminds us, our job is to carry the message. Creating an opportunity for more reflection and sharing on the corresponding step each month can only add to our effectiveness as a group in sharing the program. Not to mention be of potential benefit to our own programs!

By agreeing which week would be the Step topic week in advance gives us the chance to nominate ourselves as weekly leaders for whichever week we like, knowing we are free to offer to lead the Step week or any of the other weeks where the topic is open for our own selection.

As is current for our conscience/guidelines should there be a weekly leader drop out or vacancy the Weekly Lead Listkeeper can send a message out to the group requesting a new volunteer for a specified date.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 6

  1. I enthusiastically support dedicating one of our weekly meetings each month to be a Step Meeting.  I haven’t seen much or any change in terms of numbers of step/tradition shares so at present we still don’t emphasize the Steps or have much focus on them at all.  Something that as it was raised 6 months ago, really does show the current monthly format doesn’t work effectively.
  2. I’m not sure why it is such a sticking point to not do this, if we’re practicing Tradition 5 and as per our discussions after our group conscience questions 6.2 seems a straightforward solution. I feel sad that we seem to be splitting over this idea.  My support for 6.2 comes from a place of wanting to feel we as a group carry the message of the 12 steps to the best of our ability especially to those new in aa.  There seems to have been an alternative proposal / discussion being made along the lines of sending out additional reminders about the monthly step/tradition topic but on a weekly basis… Is this ok to be including discussions about this now before we’ve voted on proposal 6.2?  If the group supports a weekly reminder, is the assumption that it’s going to help us share on 2-3 topics (the weekly, the step/tradition?) or is it still treating the step like a bit of an add-on?  I love the weekly topics, I love our meeting format, & I’ve felt the clarity & coherence in the current execution by the weekly lead listkeeper, I would love us to pull together and work together for the good of better carrying the message of the 12 steps and the aa program. I don’t feel supporting 6.2 will detract or take away but will add to and enhance what’s already here, it’s just a bit hidden… I’d be happy to support an amended proposal where we run with the first meeting of the month dedicated to a step as a trial for a 12 month period, or even over an 18 month period.
  3. I agree with this proposal. In F2F meetings I try to mix it up i.e. discussion, big book, step. So why not the same in Grow?
  4. In my opinion this is not needed as we have a monthly step meeting.
  5. I get the sense that we are united on the importance of having Steps as topics regularly. I agree that this is in keeping with AA practice both f2f and online. Where I came from f2f we called them “mechanical” or “technical” meetings. The Steps show us how to recover from the seemingly hopeless state of body and mind so they are necessary.  Common practice is to attach a Step to each month, since there are 12 of each. Keep It Simple is good. 🙂 My question is, if we go to a Step leader each month, does she use the current language and add to it? Or does she come up with a unique lead of her own?  Another thought I had is that the Step does not need to be the first week of the month if someone is celebrating an AA birthday that week… although that confuses the schedule a bit. On the other hand, the celebrant could find it a worthwhile challenge to work her birthday into the Step topic. I know I would be intrigued by that.  As the new WLL I do not object to sending out a  reminder to share on Step and Tradition each week if we decide to go that way using the current format. I do think the Traditions are important also, and would like to remind us that yes, we have newcomers who are not familiar with them, but we also have mid- and old-timers who need reminders — me being one of them! The Traditions are WHY AA works.
  6. I like Laura’s suggestion I don’t think we should allocate a week for step meeting.  But could post the step/tradition meeting just as we have been except weekly. Instead of monthly.  It seems more a case of out of sight out of mind.  But I completely disagree with separating traditions from the steps.  It gives a seeming lack of importance to our traditions.  Which as we all know is what keeps us running.

Results of Voting on Proposal 6

Voting: Fifteen (15) voted yes and there were zero (0) no votes.  The proposal passed unanimously and is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

GROW will allocate the first weekly meeting each month as a Step meeting. The Weekly Lead Listkeeper will identify the date of the first Sunday each month when asking for volunteer leads, naming the corresponding Step (eg, January = Step 1) as the topic for that week. Grow will continue to have a Tradition as a monthly topic, sent out by the Weekly Lead Listkeeper as per current Grow conscience/guidelines. (October 2018)

The following bullet will be added to the Weekly Lead Listkeeper’s job description as follows:

  • Allocate the first meeting of each month to the corresponding Step by identifying the Step as the topic next to the date on the volunteer lead request message.

 

0419 – Proposal 5: Backup Web-keeper

Proposal 5: Backup Web-keeper

Propose opening the Backup Web-keeper position to the membership. This position will include maintaining the Weekly Meeting Topics on the new GROW website.

Rationale: Proposal 5 will allow another trusted servant to learn the functionality of the new GROW website and allow the GROW Web-keeper and Admin to continue working on the transfer of the GROW business archives.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 5

There was little discussion about the first 5 proposals and members were appreciative of the work of so many members that went into the new website.


Results of Voting on Proposal 5

Voting: Fifteen (15) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 5.1. Therefore, Proposal 5 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Propose opening the Backup Web-keeper position to the membership. This position will include maintaining the Weekly Meeting Topics on the new GROW website.

0419 – Proposal 4: Website TS Assignments

Proposal 4: Website TS Assignments

Propose assigning Allison M to the GROW Web-keeper position and assigning Tanya C to the GROW Admin position, both positions commencing April 2019.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 4

There was little discussion about the first 5 proposals and members were appreciative of the work of so many members that went into the new website.


Results of Voting on Proposal 4

Voting: Fifteen (15) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 4.1. Therefore, Proposal 4 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Propose assigning Allison M to the GROW Web-keeper position and assigning Tanya C to the GROW Admin position, both positions commencing April 2019.

0419 – Proposal 3: Website TS Positions

Proposal 3: Website TS Positions

Propose using current job descriptions of Backup Web-keeper, Web-keeper and Admin positions track the upcoming changes for review in October 2019 Business meeting.

Rationale: These positions are a work in process and within this time period, the workgroup will be able to flesh out the particular job description and tasks of each position to better correspond with the new platform (WordPress) which the new GROW website is designed on. This platform will be a significant change in how the GROW site is maintained.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 3

There was little discussion about the first 5 proposals and members were appreciative of the work of so many members that went into the new website.


Results of Voting on Proposal 3

Voting: Fifteen (15) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 3.1. Therefore, Proposal 3 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Propose using current job descriptions of Backup Web-keeper, Web-keeper and Admin positions track the upcoming changes for review in October 2019 Business meeting.

0419 – Proposal 2: Create Admin TS Position

Proposal 2: Create Admin TS Position

Propose creating a 1-year rotating position of Admin to maintain the functionality and server side of the website with a basic job description as follows:

  • 1-year term
  • 2 years sobriety
  • 2 years GROW membership
  • Served a full term as web-keeper of the GROW website
  • Member of Business List
  • Maintain a periodic backup of the GROW database
  • Maintain GROW website updates
  • Inform Steering Committee when updates are made to the website.
  • Consult with Steering Committee before making substantial design or content changes to GROW website.
  • Support Web-keeper and Backup Web-keeper on WordPress site issues.

Rationale: The new GROW website is on a WordPress platform which requires additional services not currently defined in the Web-keeper position.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 2

There was little discussion about the first 5 proposals and members were appreciative of the work of so many members that went into the new website.


Results of Voting on Proposal 2

Voting: Sixteen (16) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 2.1. Therefore, Proposal 2 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Propose creating a 1-year rotating position of Admin to maintain the functionality and server side of the website with a basic job description as follows:

  • 1-year term
  • 2 years sobriety
  • 2 years GROW membership
  • Served a full term as web-keeper of the GROW website
  • Member of Business List
  • Maintain a periodic backup of the GROW database
  • Maintain GROW website updates
  • Inform Steering Committee when updates are made to the website.
  • Consult with Steering Committee before making substantial design or content changes to GROW website.
  • Support Web-keeper and Backup Web-keeper on WordPress site issues.

0419 – Proposal 1: GROW Website

Proposal 1: GROW Website

Propose the launch of the new GROW website after the April 2019 Business Meeting for use by the membership. Place the current older GROW website in a subfolder within the GROW hosting structure to allow access for the ongoing transfer of GROW business archives to the new GROW website.

Rationale: The business archives require a bit more time and testing to ensure proper searchability for future trusted servants. However, the ease of posting the weekly meeting topics and access to trusted servants’ job descriptions and forms outweigh the need to keep the new GROW website in the development area until the transfer of the GROW business archives is complete.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 1

There was little discussion about the first 5 proposals and members were appreciative of the work of so many members that went into the new website.


Results of Voting on Proposal 1

Voting: Sixteen (16) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 1.1. Therefore, Proposal 1 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Propose the launch of the new GROW website after the April 2019 Business Meeting for use by the membership. Place the current older GROW website in a subfolder within the GROW hosting structure to allow access for the ongoing transfer of GROW business archives to the new GROW website.

0419 – Secretary’s Report

Apr 2019 Secretary’s Report

Our Trusted Servants:

  • 12 Step Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): Sophie sophieflook@gmail.com
  • Birthday Listkeeper (4/19-10/19): Amanda D. amandabauman26@icloud.com
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (4/19-10/19) Sherrie W. thesherrie@earthlink.net

Trusted Servants who make up the Steering Committee:

  • Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): Joan B. joanb333@gmail.com
  • GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M. ammakate@yahoo.com
  • GVR (10/18-10/19): Barbara M. barbaramanolache@aol.com
  • Greeter (4/19-4/20): Sarah K smkeester@gmail.com
  • Greeter (4/19-4/20): Louise H maryalicelouise@outlook.com
  • Listkeeper (4/19-4/20): Karen fromie10@gmail.com
  • Listkeeper Alternate (4/19-4/21): Laurie B rubylaurie@gmail.com
  • OIAA Rep (10/18-10/19): Lynn H. lilitaliangal@gmail.com and
    Kirsten V. lesserseattle@gmail.com
  • Secretary (10/18-10/19): Ruth F. serenity9918@gmail.com
  • Temporary Mentor (4/19-4/20): Karrie C. kchaneycoo@gmail.com
  • Treasurer (10/17-10/19): Sue W. scwills502@gmail.com
  • Webkeeper (non-rotating): Tanya C. Tanyaq42@gmail.com
  • Webkeeper Backup (10/18-10/20): Allison M. paonia.allison@gmail.com
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (4/19-4/20): Gigi telperion.1214@gmail.com

Immediate Past Trusted Servants

  • 12 Step Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Danna M. dmcd9999@zoho.com
  • Birthday Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Sophie sophieflook@gmail.com
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Cheryl B. cab7thtradition@gmail.com
  • Greeter (4/18-4/19): Gigi telperion.1214@gmail.com
  • Greeter (4/18-4/19): Laurie B. rubylaurie@gmail.com
  • Listkeeper (4/18-4/19): Nancy cybergram@eastlink.ca
  • Temporary Mentor (4/18-4/19): Louise emerrilymeet@gmail.com
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (4/18-4/19): Amanda D. amandabauman26@icloud.com

0419 – OIAA Report

Apr 2019 – OIAA Report

I’m Lynn H, OIAA representative for GROW.

Currently the March Business Meeting is addressing:

  • Forming an Ad-hoc committee tasked with exploring and gathering information on the desirability of using the AAWS Meeting Ap license. Some information shared in support of this ap:
    • “Meeting Guide app will be part of the new AAWS AA app launched in 2019. The people that run it now will be handing over the reins to AAWS so there should be no traditions issues moving forward.
    • Meeting Guide is a free mobile A.A. f2f meeting finder app. It gets its data by syncing with area, district, Intergroup/Central Office and International G.S.O. websites.
    • Sites that use their own custom database only need to create a JSON feed to make their data accessible.
    • The app is now used by more than 100,000 users every month, using it on an average of 5.75 times per month.”
  • Attending the World Convention in Detroit.
    • Voting has been to attend so far.

Website issues continue. A little over a year ago the OIAA server crashed and everything was lost. They are slowly recovering by restoring old pages, there was no backup. The members page is still not where they were as the website as it has no information connected to its tabs for any helpful information. Some member website information was sent out as an email in Feb. The page the public sees is up to date with links to groups and useful AA information, very helpful to those seeking help. They do now have a “Donate” button on the OIAA website for groups or individuals to make donations via PayPal.

When I first started there was a lot of back and forth, arguing, about the state of the group. An old time member was admonishing new members for not doing things the right way. Honestly, this turned me off completely and my involvement with the group has been minimal. I know members are diligent in trying to turn the group around but information and direction is fractured. My involvement with the group has been minimal due to this.

Submitted by Lynn H.

0419 – Listkeeper’s Report

Our membership as of March 31, 2019 is 366 list members and 37 of those are digest members. (This number is always a little larger than our actual count because some members have two subscriptions – one for regular posts and one for digests, and some members have 2 regular list addresses.)

This time last year we had 350 members. We are GROWING!

Nancy and Karen both want to thank Gigi and Laurie for their great service to GROW as Greeters. We all enjoyed working together!

Nancy has completed her term as Listkeeper–thank you Nancy! Karen will continue for another year and Laurie has volunteered to serve as alternate Listkeeper.

Respectfully submitted, Karen H and Nancy C | GROW Listkeepers

0419 – Business Meeting Agenda

April 2019 Business Meeting Agenda

***IMPORTANT NOTE: Please DO NOT respond to this message.
Additional individual emails will be coming, to which you can respond.

Agenda for April 2019 Business Meeting
Trusted Servant Reports:

  • Trusted Servant (TS) Positions – Incoming & Outgoing TS identified (Secretary’s Report)
  • Semi-Annual Reports: OIAA, Treasurer, Listkeeper Reports
  • Business Items (each will be posted separately to facilitate discussion and voting)

Below are the proposals received to date that we will discuss during the Business Meeting. The following list contains brief summaries rather than the full proposal language as it will be presented. If you have an item that you would like to have addressed, or if I have not accurately represented an item that you recommended, please email me privately and I will make the appropriate corrections.

  • Proposal 1.1 – Propose the launch of the new GROW website after the April 2019 Business Meeting for use by the membership
  • Proposal 2.1 – Propose creating a 1-year rotating position of Admin to maintain the functionality and server side of the website.
  • Proposal 3.1 – Propose using current job descriptions of Backup Web-keeper, Web-keeper and Admin positions track the upcoming changes for review in October 2019 Business meeting.
  • Proposal 4.1 – Propose assigning Allison M to the GROW Web-keeper position and assigning Tanya C to the GROW Admin position, both positions commencing April 2019.
  • Proposal 5.1 – Propose opening the Backup Web-keeper position to the membership.

From the October meeting we will re-visit these 3 proposals:

  • Proposal to have the topic on the first Sunday of each month be the step with the same number, i.e. January, Step. 1.
  • Proposal to remove the sponsor list from the GROW website.
  • Proposal to have the Sponsor Listkeeper work with the Temporary Mentor to assure newcomers have a temporary sponsor if they request one.

Participants in this meeting will also consider these new proposals:

  • Proposal to update the job description for the Weekly Listkeeper
    Proposal to add language to the form letter sent by the Weekly Listkeeper if the job description is updated.
  • Proposals to update the job description for the Sponsor Listkeeper

During the first three days of our meeting, we will discuss the 5 proposals related to the new WEB site. I will send out the proposals separately, calling for three days of discussion on each.

Respectfully yours,
Joan B.
GROW Business Chair
email

0419 – Business Meeting Welcome

Apr 2019 – Business Meeting Welcome

I am Joan, an alcoholic, and your Business Chair for this meeting. Thank you for participating!

This is a closed meeting, open only to members of GROW, for the discussion of business as it relates to our group. Our business meetings run in four-day segments and last no more than 29 days.

I will post each Agenda item, one by one, in separate emails and **ask that you respond to each accordingly.** This makes it easier to “tally” the responses and suggestions to each item. We will have a three-day period of open discussion on each Agenda item. This, hopefully, will allow all members regardless of work schedules, time zones, etc. to participate and comment. At the beginning of the fourth day, I will post the results/consensus of our discussions.

Before we begin, let’s have a moment of silence to reflect on why we are here, followed by the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

In this Business Meeting, let us be guided by The Twelve Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Let us all keep in mind our Unity of Service statement from the Grapevine of September 1998:

“Unity seldom means that we all agree on everything. Nor is unity served by setting aside our concerns and conforming to the majority opinion (or the vocal minority) . . . Unity is best achieved by a full hearing of all points of view . . . time for all of those involved to step back from emotional responses . . . as well as careful consideration and prayer for that which will best serve the group or AA as a whole.”

Thank you for being here and for your dedication to GROW.

Respectfully submitted,
Joan B.
GROW Business Chair
email

Mar 31: Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

“A little humour is good for the soul-regardless of how old you may be”. Or how long you have been sober.

I know sometimes I forget to have fun. I m so busy following the steps, the traditions , all my mantras I have learned before I joined A.A. and certainly all I have learned since I took my last drink. March 30, 2013….
My sponsor has heard it called the 13th step…No I am not adding to the steps.
In the 12 and 12 it refers to having a sense of humour. I don’t have a copy here in the USA, where I live for 5 months…. I have 3 copies back in CA…
I’m sure someone will tell me where it is….whoops don’t forget I’m an alcoholic I would prefer you suggest, where I can find.  I always found that funny that alcoholics don’t like to be told what to do. My brother never suggested I go to A.A…he told me and said he would be phoning me to make sure I was attending meetings……he scared me to death…. but when I went to that meeting I heard what I needed to do, and did what I was told to do….
A month later when I asked my dear sponsor to be my sponsor she said I had to phone her everyday…I said you’ve got to be kidding! She gave me permission to phone her. I always felt I was bothering people…I now know that if I was disciplined enough to phone her everyday, I took the program seriously and if I ever ran into trouble I would be in the habit of phoning her.
I know I speak for myself but I have heard hundreds of shares at f2f mtgs, in GROW meetings and in the B.B. I love it when I laugh.. it is funny now how I use to hide my drinking, how I worked so hard at controlling my  drinking thinking people didn’t know..
How I had to go to different liquor stores so the clerks wouldn’t know I had a “drinking problem”….I was an active alcoholic, of course I did all that.
When I was in the problem later in my life.. I always said I am not the smartest apple on the tree. My granddaughter said” But grandma at least you are on the tree”…..I had alcoholic behaviour long before I was an active alcoholic…
Anyways Tuesday was my real day to drink because the grandchildren had no activities so I would start cooking (I never liked cooking and was not good)… anyways I would start drinking and cooking. Don’t laugh you all know how that ended up..
I would look in the fridge in the morning to see what I cooked, was it burnt? I certainly couldn’t remember if I had eaten it or not. I was too embarrassed to ask my Grandkids or husband how dinner went….
When my sponsor suggested if I wanted to learn to cook I should take cooking classes! I informed her I didn’t want to learn how to cook…..
Getting back to meetings I hear how people hid alcohol in the trunks of their cars, filling up bottles with water so it looked like bottles were full…filling up bottles with vodka…I wish I could remember more “funny” stories….
Wow it took a lot of energy to hide my alcohol and hide my drinking…
 I was a member months before I took my last drink….that is funny… but not really because I know people come to meetings still drinking. They are in the right place. “As long as they have the desire to stop drinking” they can attend meetings…
I love the sign on the wall. “WE ARE NOT A GLUM LOT”
I look forward to hearing how you have learned not to take yourself so seriously. Thank you my dear GROW friends who have played a very important role in my life to help me stay sober…..GAIL

Mar 24: Dealing With Loss

Dealing With Loss

Hi beautiful GROWING women. My name is Alison B. and I am an alcoholic. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes this past week!

I had an interesting experience this morning. It is not exactly how I chose to begin my day. It went something like this. My home group is “Chicks with Chips”, and we have a Step Study on Thursday evening. Last Thursday I noticed I did not have my 12×12 Step Study book in my car in its usual spot when I arrived at my meeting. No big deal. I made a mental note to look for it when I got home. I forgot all about it until this morning. I recalled meeting my Sponsor a week ago to go over my Step 1. I had taken my books and notepad into the restaurant when I met with her. I was pretty sure I must have forgotten the bag of books at the restaurant. No big deal. I simply called the restaurant. Well, they did not have my bag of books.

Here is where things began to accelerate for me…….I began an earnest search of the house. Mostly my office, as that is where I would have left it. I checked my car twice. I began to get anxious. I simply could not find them anywhere. My former sponsor gave me that Step Study book 26 years ago. And my Big Book was almost as old. I had so many tidbits of wisdom from the women of AA in that little step book. I began to cry. I had lost so much wisdom. I went out to the shop to cry on my husband’s shoulder. He was sympathetic. He helped me look again.

We checked the car together, we looked in closets together. My tears subsided. I sat down at my desk and began to look for the silver lining. I realized I was beginning the 12 Steps again, in part to celebrate my 26 years of sobriety, but also because I felt a bit complacent with my program. As I had lost my books, I figured my Higher Power must want me to begin with new books. Why else would I have lost them? I grieved for my lost memory a bit too. Not just the ones I had written in the book, but my 63 year old mind just does not remember stuff like it used too. This has become a bit of a problem for me. Oh, I can still find my way home, lol, but I struggle with small stuff now on a regular basis. (Post-its have become my external brain. That and the “Notes” App in my phone!) I realized that I was grieving as much for my mostly short term memory loss as I was for the loss of my special AA books. At this point I paused.

I let go. I let go of the books and my sadness, and all of it. I chose to trust that God had the perfect plan for me. I would simply go purchase new books on Monday. That’s when it happened. My husband walks into my office for a second time. He reaches over beside me. And right there on the shelf were my books! (By now I was pretty sure that I must have been a little too attached.) I was also sure that God was right there with me the whole time. I had not had an occasion to cry like that in a long time. In fact, it has been a few years since I had felt such loss and the sadness that goes along with it. It was cathartic for me. It was all perfect. It was all part of a divine plan for me. Once again I am restored to sanity. I am grounded. I have a much better contact with my Higher Power right now than I did when I got up this morning.

I am losing my short term memory, ever so slowly. It is the natural course of this aging process. God has a plan for me. It will all work out perfectly. I have less vested in the outcome of my plans today. That is that. Tomorrow I will begin Step 2. If truth be told, I began Step 2 this morning. Lol In conclusion, it turns out I cannot ever “lose” the wisdom that I have acquired from years of Step Study meetings with AA women. It is apparently a part of my tapestry. There is magic in working the 12 Steps!

Blessings,

Alison B.

Mar 17: Fear and Courage

Fear and Courage

Welcome to this week’s meeting and congratulations to every awesome lady celebrating another day of sobriety.

Since joining AA I have learned a lot about how fear has driven so many of the bad decisions and behaviors I’ve made since my teen years – which is when my troubles started. In spite of growing up in a relatively happy home with two awesome parents in a lovely neighborhood in southern California, I had no confidence to cope with life’s challenges that hit during those years of puberty. In hindsight, I think I felt afraid most of the time, and unlike my siblings I didn’t manage this well.

My coping mechanisms were all destructive: I began with a few personal bad habits, then began to overeat to soothe myself which only compounded my anxieties and self-image as I grew larger. High school was a disaster, I sabotaged all prior success in school by hanging out with the bad kids, started taking drugs and drinking. By my early 20’s, I didn’t think much of myself and succumbed to having sex with any man that was interested. I could write a book about the awful things I did between the ages of 16 and 24, suffice it to say life wasn’t pretty.

I ‘cleaned up my act’ to some degree by the time I was in my late twenties, but until recently I did not understand the powerful emotion of fear and the impacts it has on me. When a fear comes up in my mind, I’m often too pre-occupied or busy to even notice, the master at burying that which I don’t want to deal with because it’s painful. Then my unhealthy ‘go to’ coping remedies take over (drinking, overeating, trying to control others, etc.). This has been a very destructive pattern for most of my life causing harm in all of my relationships and many bad decisions that are based in fear. The fear that people won’t like me, that conflict will come up if I say what I need to say, or do what I need to do, fear that others might not approve.

Thanks to the 12 steps, I don’t care any longer where this character defect stems from, I am just grateful now that I recognize it and have the tools to address it. This has made a huge difference in how I think and subsequently behave. Once I recognize and face a fear, I eventually muster up the courage to give it to God, which often times helps me to take action if needed. I might still feel afraid temporarily, but having the courage to move through the situation like a responsible adult brings a marvelous improvement in the quality of my life!

I look forward to hearing how each of you handles fear and experience courage to move through it.

Gratefully, Susan

2018 – Group Conscience Decisions

2018 Group Conscience Decisions

During the October 2018 GROW Business meeting, the following Group Conscience decisions were approved:

  1. Delete item d. (Web Page Information) in the GROW FYI CONTENTS section of the FYI Letter sent out by the Secretary each month.
    For more information on this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal 2 from the October 2018 business meeting.
  2. Add a reminder to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter (between the Preamble and “How It Works”) to emphasize the principle of anonymity in our meetings: “Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.”
    • Recommended Language: Insert the following sentences as a separate stand-alone paragraph between the Preamble and “How It Works” in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter.
      • “Who you see here, what you read here, when you leave here, let it stay here. (Anonymity refers to personal information and personal issues – not the message of recovery.)”

    For more information in this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal 3 from the October 2018 business meeting.

  3. Increase the monthly contribution to Dean Collins (oso-aa.org) to reimburse him for any time and effort to support GROW’s website, particularly the new website WordPress configuration. Double the current contribution from $12 per month ($72 for six months) to $24 ($144 for six months).
    • Recommended Language: Edit the sub-bullet in the Treasurer’s job description under the 11th bullet (“Pay all group expenses…”) to reflect the change in contributions to oso-aa.
      • $24.00 monthly to OSO-AA (PayPal: dean.collins@insightplanners.com) (6 months expenses)

    For more information about this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal 4 from the October 2018 business meeting.

  4. Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them. She will also include the recommended language in Temporary Mentor Letter #1.
    • Recommended Language: Add a new 10th bullet to the Temporary Mentor job description as follows.
      • Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them.

    For more information in this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal ## from the October 2018 business meeting.

  5. Insert the following language as a new third paragraph in Temporary Mentor Letter #1 and as a monthly stand-alone message to GROW:
    • Just a reminder that you can learn more about AA by visiting one of these links:
    • The Alcoholics Anonymous general services office and information such as “The AA Big Book and 12 & 12, along with many pamphlets as well as links to local resources for AA.
    • AA’s Online Intergroup (OIAA) where you can find meeting lists as week as real-time phone and other Internet types of meetings.
    • AA’s Grapevine magazine with stories and audio stories and Grapevine subscription options.

    For more information in this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal ## from the October 2018 business meeting.

  6. Expand on the Temporary Mentor by establishing a Newcomer Committee, as the Sponsorship pamphlet suggests some groups do.
    • Recommended Language: Add as a new 11th bullet to the Temporary Mentor job description as follows.
      • Establish and lead a Newcomer Committee (that may include members who are new to recovery from alcoholism) who will assist in supporting newcomers to GROW and AA.

    For more information in this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal ## from the October 2018 business meeting.

  7. The General Services Representative (GSR) will post the GSO Calendar of Events each month to the GROW list. The Calendar is contained in the back pages of the current quarterly Box 4-5-9.
    • Recommended Language: “You can find the GSO Calendar of Events on pages 11-12 [depending on the month] of the 4-5-9 Newsletter [Note: link to the newsletter changes for each issue].”

    For more information in this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal ## from the October 2018 business meeting.

  8. The Grapevine Representative (GVR) will post a link to the calendar on the Grapevine website each month. This may be within her report or separate from it.
    • Recommended Language: Add a new 8th bullet to the Grapevine Representative’s job description as follows.
      • Either as part of the Grapevine Form Letter or in a separate message to GROW members, the GVR will share a link to the Grapevine Calendar of Events (at http://www.aagrapevine.org/calendar).

    For more information in this group conscience decision, please refer to Proposal ## from the October 2018 business meeting.

  9. The new GROW Website extension to the April 2019 meeting granted by default.

1018 – Final Summary

Final Summary of October 2018 Business Meeting

Ladies, we have come to the 17th day and the end of our business meeting. During this meeting, we considered 12 proposals and approved seven Group Conscience decisions. There are three proposals for which did not achieve a 2/3 majority vote by the 17th day, and these proposals will be reconsidered at the April 2019 business meeting. I have sent separate messages listing Group Conscience decisions as well as the proposals to be reconsidered in April.

This has probably been the most productive (and complicated) business meeting that I can remember, and I have attended almost all of GROW’s business meetings. What impresses me most is that all but two of the proposals were designed to help our members stay sober. Rather than focusing on ‘bureaucratic’ decisions about job descriptions and meeting protocols, we actually focused on what GROW can do to better support its members’ sobriety.

You should feel very good about what you accomplished in October 2018! I want to thank each of you for your active participation during this meeting. You all are truly miracles! You have made GROW a better online meeting.

A few days after the meeting, our Listkeepers will remove your name from this business list. You do not need to do anything to unsubscribe.

The meeting is now adjourned.

Respectfully, danna M GROW Business Chair

1018 – Proposal 1: GROW Website

Proposal 1: GROW Website

GROW will extend the Website Workgroup mandate to the April 2019 Business Meeting.

Rationale: While much work has been done and much accomplished, the website is not yet ready to go “live.” The Webkeeper and website workgroup will finalize the test site and prepare recommendations on how to manage the site in April 2019. They will also recommend new Trusted Servant positions and job descriptions to maintain the site in the future.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 1.5

Eight (8) participants commented on the test website. Those who commented were happy with the site, praising its improvement over the current static HTML website. One person submitted questions/comments for the workgroup to consider as it moves forward. Please refer to the section on the sixth 3-day period for next steps.


Results of Voting on Proposal 1.6

Although the Chair had announced that we would vote on Proposal 1 (to extend the Website Workgroup mandate to the April 2019 Business Meeting) during the sixth 3-day period. However, doing so would take us beyond the 17th day. Since the guidelines call for such proposals to be tabled until the next business meeting and the desired extension would end by the April 2019 meeting, a vote at this time of no practical value.

Therefore, no vote will be taken, and the website extension is granted by default.


Group Conscience Decision:

Website extension is granted by default.

1018 – Fifth 3-day Session Minutes

Fifth 3-Day Period

During the fifth 3-day period of our business meeting:

  • We voted on Proposals 11.5 (GSR & Box 4-5-9 Calendar) and 12.5 (GVR & Grapevine Calendar).
  • We re-voted on Proposal 3.5 (“Let It Stay Here”).
  • We received a Minority Opinion on Proposal 10 (Managing Sponsor Information & Beginners’ Meeting)
    • Proposal 10.5a – discontinue “Available Online Sponsors” webpage
    • Proposal 10.5b – coordination between Temporary Mentor & Sponsor Listkeeper
    • Proposal 10.5c – Beginners’ Meeting
  • We commented on the WordPress-based test GROW website.
  • Sixth 3-day period – next steps

Our business meeting guidelines state: “If any item on the agenda has not reached a 2/3 majority vote by the 17th day of the business meeting, the item is tabled and held over to the next scheduled business meeting.” Therefore, the sixth 3-day period is the last of the October 2018 Business Meeting.

Results of Voting on Proposal 11.5 – GSR & Box 4-5-9 Calendar
Seventeen (17) participants voted unanimously in favor of Proposal 11.5; therefore, the proposal is approved and adopted as a Group Conscience decision.

Group Conscience Decision: The GSR will post the Calendar of Events each month to the GROW list. It is to be the link to the current quarterly Box 4-5-9, with the indication of the pages of the Calendar.

Results of Voting on Proposal 12.5 – GVR & Grapevine Calendar
Seventeen (17) participants voted unanimously in favor of Proposal 11.5; therefore, the proposal is approved and adopted as a Group Conscience decision.

Group Conscience Decision:
The Grapevine Rep will post link to the calendar on the Grapevine website each month. This may be within her report or separate from it.

Results of Re-vote on Proposal 3.5 – “Let It Stay Here”
Two (2) participants voted in favor, and 13 voted against (87%) Proposal 3.5 (which was limited to deleting the Anonymity Statement from the bottom of the Weekly Meeting Format Letter). The vote exceeds the requirement for a 2/3 majority, so this part of Proposal 3 fails.

Therefore, the existing Anonymity Statement in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter will not be deleted.

Results of Minority Opinion on Proposal 10.5 (subparts a, b, and c)
As a result of the minority opinion, three participants changed their vote on Proposal 10.5a (discontinue “Available Online Sponsors” webpage). Due to a misunderstanding, the Chair had not asked if participants wanted to change their votes on subparts 10.5b (coordination between Temporary Mentor and Sponsor Listkeeper) or subparts 10.5c (Beginners’ Meeting) but did so mid-day of the last day of the 3-day period. After notifying the group of the larger scope of the Minority Opinion, one participant changed her vote on Proposal 10.5b.

Proposal 10.5a (discontinuing the “Available Online Sponsors” webpage)
In the Minutes on the fourth 3-day period, the Chair reported a vote of eleven (11) in favor (60%) and 5 against. In error, the Chair said the vote met the 2/3 requirement for a Group Conscience decision. The Minority Opinion brought that vote into question. As a result of the Minority Opinion, three participants changed their votes from “I agree” to “I disagree,” bringing the vote to an 8-8 tie, which would trigger a re-vote on Proposal 10.5a.

Our business meeting guidelines state: “If any item on the agenda has not reached a 2/3 majority vote by the 17th day of the business meeting, the item is tabled and held over to the next scheduled business meeting.” A sixth 3-day period would take us beyond the 17th day of the meeting, A sixth 3-day period would take us beyond the 17th day of the meeting, so a re-vote on Proposal 10.a is not practical.

Therefore, Proposal 10.5a is tabled and will be reconsidered during the April 2019 Business Meeting.

Proposal 10.5b (managing information about sponsors)
Thirteen (13) participants voted in favor (87%), and three (3) voted against Proposal 10.4b, exceeding the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. Early this morning, I received a change of vote on this sub-part. Since notice that the Minority Opinion applied to all sub-parts of Proposal 10 was not received until after noon on the last day of the 3-day period, the Chair believes the change of vote should be accepted, which would call for a complete re-vote on the proposal.

Our business meeting guidelines state: “If any item on the agenda has not reached a 2/3 majority vote by the 17th day of the business meeting, the item is tabled and held over to the next scheduled business meeting.” A sixth 3-day period would take us beyond the 17th day of the meeting, so a re-vote on Proposal 10.b is not practical.

Therefore, Proposal 10.5b is tabled and will be reconsidered during the April 2019 Business Meeting.

Proposal 10.5c (Beginners’ Meeting)
Subpart 10.5c was defeated unanimously with a vote of 16 “I disagrees.” No particpants indicated a wish to change their vote as a result of the Minority Opinion.

Therefore, Proposal 10.5c fails, and GROW will not establish a Beginners’ Meeting to operate parallel to the main GROW meeting. This proposal cannot be considered again until October 2019.

Comments on the new GROW test Website

Eight (8) participants commented on the test website. Those who commented were happy with the site, praising its improvement over the current static HTML website. One person submitted questions/comments for the workgroup to consider as it moves forward. Please refer to the section on the sixth 3-day period for next steps.


Sixth 3-day Period

The sixth and last 3-day period of the business meeting will focus on two outstanding issues:

The Business Meeting Guidelines state that “If any item on the agenda has not reached a 2/3 majority vote by the 17th day of the business meeting, the item is tabled and held over to the next scheduled business meeting.”

Although the Chair had announced that we would vote on Proposal 1 (to extend the Website Workgroup mandate to the April 2019 Business Meeting) during the sixth 3-day period. However, doing so would take us beyond the 17th day. Since the guidelines call for such proposals to be tabled until the next business meeting and the desired extension would end by the April 2019 meeting, a vote at this time of no practical value.

Therefore, no vote will be taken, and the website extension is granted by default.

Later today, the Chair will present a list of “Recommended Language” for Group Conscience (GC) decisions that did not include them when presented. Five of the seven GC decisions did not have Recommended Language but added or changed job duties or form letter contents. In order to speed the process along and since all of these are already implied by the GC decisions, I will simply ask for objections to the language and address anything that arises.

Respectfully, danna M GROW Business Chair

1018 – Proposal 12: GVR / GV Calendar

Proposal 12: GVR and Grapevine Calendar

The Grapevine Rep (GVR) will post link to the calendar on the Grapevine website each month. This may be within her report or separate from it.

Rationale: Follow up to the Group Inventory of Fall 2018 and subsequent review in the business meeting, and in the spirit of connecting with AA as a whole: As far as being “informed about AA as a whole”, 5 out of 8 responses stated a need for more information… No one felt we weren’t supporting AA as a whole, just that we weren’t as informed as we could be.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 12.4

Three (3) participants commented on the proposal calling for the Grapevine Representative to send out a link to the Grapevine Calendar each month. All comments supported it because it improves members’ understanding of AA organizations and events, as was raised in responses to the Group Inventory questions. One participant raised offered “Recommended language” that would be added to the TS job description. Another answered that the TS should have the discretion to carry it out. We will vote on Proposal 12.5 during the fifth 3-day period of our meeting.


Results of Voting on Proposal 12.5

Voting: Seventeen (17) participants voted unanimously in favor of Proposal 11.5; therefore, the proposal is approved and adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

The Grapevine Rep will post link to the calendar on the Grapevine website each month. This may be within her report or separate from it.

1018 – Proposal 11: GSR / 4-5-9 Calendar

Proposal 11: GSR and 4-5-9 Calendar

The GSR will post the Calendar of Events each month to the GROW list. It is to be the link to the current quarterly Box 4-5-9, with the indication of the pages of the Calendar.

Rationale: Follow up to the Group Inventory of Fall 2018 and subsequent review in the business meeting: As far as being “informed about AA as a whole”, 5 out of 8 responses stated a need for more information. Several members expressed gratitude for the GSR report and the Box 459 newsletter. No one felt we weren’t supporting AA as a whole, just that we weren’t as informed as we could be.

Recommended Language: You can find the GSO Calendar of Events on pages 11-12 [depending on the month] of the 4-5-9 Newsletter [Note: link to the newsletter changes for each issue].”


Summary of Comments on Proposal 11.4

Four (4) participants commented on this proposal, all of them supporting it because it improves members’ understanding of AA organizations and events, as was raised in responses to the Group Inventory questions. We will vote on Proposal 11.5 during the fifth 3-day period of our meeting.


Results of Voting on Proposal 11.5

Voting: Seventeen (17) participants voted unanimously in favor of Proposal 11.5; therefore, the proposal is approved and adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

The GSR will post the Calendar of Events each month to the GROW list. It is to be the link to the current quarterly Box 4-5-9, with the indication of the pages of the Calendar.

1018 – Fourth 3-day Session Minutes

Fourth 3-Day Period

During the fourth 3-day period, we voted on two proposals, discussed two new proposals, and discussed a Minority Opinion that reopened discussion on Proposal 3 (“Let It Stay Here”). We also began to review the new WordPress-based GROW website.

We voted on two new proposals:

  • Proposal 8 – Group Inventory Follow-up (withdrawn) – no voting
  • Proposal 9 – Step Meeting
  • Proposal 10 – Sponsors & Beginners Meeting

We discussed two new proposals:

  • Proposal 11: GSR & Box 4-5-9 Calendar
  • Proposal 12: GVR & Grapevine Calendar

We also discussed the Minority Opinion on Proposal 3.2 (“Let It Stay Here”) – and received a status report on and access to the new WordPress based GROW website.

Voting Results
Results of Voting on Proposal 9.4 – Step Meeting

Reflecting our discussions, participants were asked to vote on one of two versions of Proposal 9.4: (a) being only a Step Meeting and (b) being a Step/Tradition Meeting. Eleven participants voted in favor (58%) of Proposal 9.4b (Step/Tradition Meeting only), and eight (8) participants voted in favor (42%) of Proposal 9.4a (Step Meeting only). Neither option met the requirement for a 2/3 majority, and neither version is approved. Because participants overwhelmingly approved the proposal to set aside the first week of each month for a Step Meeting, it’s not appropriate to say the proposal can’t be raised for a year. Because voting was so close, more discussion is needed. Therefore, the proposal has been set aside to be considered again during the April 2019 meeting.

Results of Voting on Proposal 10.4a – Discontinue “Available Online Sponsors” Webpage
Eleven (11) participants voted in favor (58%) and five (5) voted against Proposal 10.4a, meeting the requirement for a 2/3 majority. Therefore, the proposal is approved. The Chair called for those who voted against the proposal to submit a Minority Opinion. If, after hearing the minority opinion, any participant wants to change their vote, we will conduct a re-vote. Until we know the outcome of this phase of our process, the proposal does not become a formal Group Conscience Decision.

Results of Voting on Proposal 10.4b – Managing Information about Sponsors
Thirteen (13) participants voted in favor (87%), and three (3) voted against Proposal 10.4b, exceeding the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. The Chair called for those who voted against the proposal to submit a Minority Opinion. If, after hearing the minority opinion, any participant wants to change their vote, we will conduct a re-vote. Until we know the outcome of this phase of our process, the proposal does not become a formal Group Conscience Decision.

Results of Voting on Proposal 10.4c – Beginners’ Meeting
No participants voted in favor, and sixteen (16) voted against Proposal 10.4c, representing a unanimous decision not to establish a Beginners’ Meeting to run parallel with GROW’s email meeting. Therefore, the proposal fails and cannot be raised again for a year.

Discussions
Comments on Proposal 11.4 – GSR & Box 4-5-9 Calendar

Four (4) participants commented on this proposal, all of them supporting it because it improves members’ understanding of AA organizations and events, as was raised in responses to the Group Inventory questions. We will vote on Proposal 11.5 during the fifth 3-day period of our meeting.

Comments on Proposal 12.4 – GVR & Grapevine Calendar
Three (3) participants commented on the proposal calling for the Grapevine Representative to send out a link to the Grapevine Calendar each month. All comments supported it because it improves members’ understanding of AA organizations and events, as was raised in responses to the Group Inventory questions. One participant raised offered “Recommended language” that would be added to the TS job description. Another answered that the TS should have the discretion to carry it out. We will vote on Proposal 12.5 during the fifth 3-day period of our meeting.

Discussion following Minority Opinion on Proposal 3.2 – “Let It Stay Here”
Participants voted to approve Proposal 3.2b (adding the following between the Preamble and “How it Works” of the Weekly Meeting Format Letter). The proposal as approved also deleted the Anonymity Statement from the bottom of the Weekly Meeting Format Letter. The Minority Opinion argued that the Anonymity Statement should not be deleted, and several women changed their vote as a result. It was pointed out that the Anonymity Statement duplicates Tradition 12 (which is above the topic section). So, deleting only part of the Anonymity Statement is inconsistent. We will take a re-vote, addressing only the deletion of the Anonymity Statement, on Proposal 3.5 during the fifth 3-day period of our meeting.

Discussion on the new test GROW Website
The website is not yet ready to go “live.” The Webkeeper and website workgroup will finalize the test site and prepare recommendations on how to manage the site in April 2019. They will also recommend new Trusted Servant positions and job descriptions. Participants were asked to review and comment on the test website. We will discuss the test site through the end of the fifth 3-day period. The discussion period will end on Monday, October, 15. Participants were encouraged to offer comments that will highlight areas that can be improved.

During the Fifth 3-day Period of the Business Meeting, we will vote on Proposals 11 and 12, take the re-vote on Proposal 3.2, and accept Minority Opinions on Proposals 10.4a and 10.4b. We will continue to review and comment on the GROW WordPress-based test website through the end of the fifth 3-day period.

Respectfully, danna M GROW Business Chair

1018 – Third 3-day Session Minutes

Third 3-Day Period

During the third 3-day session, we voted on three proposals, discussed three new proposals, and received a Minority Opinion that reopened discussion on Proposal 3 (“Let It Stay Here”).

We voted on three proposals:

  • Proposal 5 – Creating a Newcomer Committee
  • Proposal 6 – Temporary Mentor & AA Resources
  • Proposal 7 – Abolish the OIAA Rep Trusted Servant Position

We discussed three new proposals:

  • Proposal 8 – Group Inventory Follow-up (withdrawn)
  • Proposal 9 – Step Meeting
  • Proposal 10 – Sponsors & Beginners Meeting

We also received a Minority Opinion related to voting on Proposal 3 – “Let It Stay Here.” As a result of the Minority Opinion, four women decided to change their vote. Therefore, we will further discuss the proposal and minority opinion during the fourth 3-day period and have a revote during the 5th 3-day period.

During the fourth 3-day period of the October 2018 GROW Business Meeting, we will talk about the proposed new WordPress-based GROW website, vote on Proposals 9 and 10, discuss Proposals 11 and 12, and re-visit Proposal 3 on adding the “Let It Stay Here” anonymity statement in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter.

Voting
Proposal 5.3 – TM & Newcomer Committee

Sixteen (16) participants voted in favor (80%), and four (4) voted against Proposal 5.3. Therefore, the proposal meets our requirement for a 2/3 majority is adopted as a Group Conscience Decision.

Group Conscience Decision:
To expand on the Temporary Mentor by establishing a Newcomer Committee, as the Sponsorship pamphlet suggests some groups do. That committee could be rapid-response for new members much as the OIAA link for “Get Help Now” is. The only requirement could be much less sober time, giving our newer members an opportunity to share their experience, strength and hope.

Proposal 6.3 – TM & AA Resources
Nineteen (19) participants voted in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 6.3. Therefore, the proposal meets our requirement for a 2/3 majority is adopted as a Group Conscience Decision.

Group Conscience Decision: Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them. She will also include the recommended language in Temporary Mentor Letter #1.

Proposal 7.3 Abolish OIAA Rep Position
Ten (10) participants voted in favor (56%), and eight (8) voted against Proposal 7.3. We did not meet the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. Given that this proposal has been discussed before recently with the same outcome, the Chair will not ask for the Minority Opinion.

Proposal 7.3 is therefore set aside and cannot be revisited for one year.

Discussion
Proposal 8 – Group Inventory Follow-up – Withdrawn

During the 3-day period, it was revealed that there were already instructions within the Group Inventory guidelines for the business meeting to take appropriate actions to address any issue raised in Group Inventory responses. Therefore, the proposal was withdrawn. Many of the proposals on our agenda already address these issues, and the review of responses was completed within 24 hours.

Proposal 9 – Step Meeting as Topic 1st Week of Month
Thirteen (13) participants commented on Proposal 9.3, and there was general support for having a Step Meeting each month. Many felt that this proposal addresses an area of concern that came out in responses to the Group Inventory. Comments fell into three substantive areas: whether the Step Meeting should be the first meeting of each month, whether it should also include the Tradition of the month, and assignment of the Meeting leader.

Most of the comments expressed the feeling that few people share in response to the Step/Tradition message each month and that having a dedicated topic meeting would bring more attention to these basic parts of the AA program. It would also be more helpful to newcomers to highlight the steps and traditions in this way.

There was concern that sharing on the Traditions would be lost if they are not included in the Step meeting topic and many participants wanted to include the Tradition of the month in the Step meeting. Participants agreed that it would not be difficult to get volunteers to lead the Step (/Tradition) meeting as part of the current process, although a few were concerned about reducing the opportunity to lead on a topic of choice or dictating a topic to meeting leaders.

Based on the comments, the Chair created two versions of the proposal for voting, asking participants to vote on only one of them. Proposal 9.4a was for a Step [only] meeting, and Proposal 9.4b was for a Step/Tradition meeting. During the fourth 3-day session, we will vote on Proposal 9.

Proposal 10.3 – GROW Sponsors & Beginners’ Meeting
This proposal covered a lot of territory. Discussions on the two proposals related to the Temporary Mentor (both adopted as Group Conscience decisions) led to this proposal when concerns were raised about the support GROW offers newcomers. We took a new look at the way we manage information about available sponsors and whether we give newcomers enough opportunity to talk about common issues during early sobriety. Because the proposal contained different subtopics, the Chair split it into three subparts: discontinuing the “Available Online Sponsors” Webpage (10.4a), managing Information about Available Sponsors (10.4b), and Beginners Meeting (10.4c)

Fifteen (15) participants commented on discontinuing GROW’s “Available Online Sponsors” webpage, giving greater responsibility to the Temporary Mentor in managing information about potential sponsors, and establishing a Beginners’ Meeting to operate parallel with GROW’s main mailing list.

Available Online Sponsors Webpage (10.4a)
The Temporary Mentor reported that some newcomers had contacted women on the webpage list but did not received responses timely or at all. Others questioned whether the list of sponsors was updated frequently enough to assure that the women listed were still interested in being sponsors. In addition, many of the people on the list do not share regularly; therefore, women seeking sponsors can’t get a sense of potential sponsors’ program. Finally, the list of “Available Online Sponsors” on our website may create the erroneous impression that these are the only women who can or will be sponsors. Participants felt that we should discontinue the current “Available Sponsors Webpage” and rely on the Sponsor Listkeeper’s monthly email.

Managing Information about Sponsors (10.4b)
Earlier in this business meeting, the group recognized an overlap between the Temporary Mentor (TM) in helping newcomers find sponsors and Sponsor Listkeeper. The proposal called for the women currently on the available sponsors webpage to work with the TM to find temporary sponsors for newcomers. It was pointed out that both the volunteers on the 12th Step list and the Available Sponsors might support the TM. When asked what a “Temporary” Sponsor is several participants shared their personal experience. Others talked about the awkward for newcomers before they understand the sponsor relationship and when they are still perhaps hesitant to make the commitment as an important reason for Temporary Mentors. We were reminded of the “Questions & Answers about Sponsorship” pamphlet.

The current list of available sponsors does not distinguish between those who are willing to sponsor newcomers and those who are not. It is also important to assure women who are listed as available sponsors understand their responsibility to be respond timely when contacted. It was suggested that we send out a monthly announcement that anyone who does not have a sponsor but wants one can contact [Trusted Servant(s)] for help. Another participant suggested that we rotate people on list of available sponsors, but others felt rotation would not be helpful.

One participant compared GROW to f2f meetings in the degree to which they get involved in sponsorship issues. She felt GROW sometimes became too involved in what is normally treated as a personal process – that people looking for a sponsor are responsible for finding one – and f2f meetings don’t usually go beyond advising people to “get a sponsor.”

We also discussed the overlap between the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor in this area was also discussed. In the past, GROW has not differentiated between those interested in being temporary sponsors or who want to work with newcomers, but this information is helpful to the Temporary Mentor. The Sponsor Listkeeper, however, maintains information for all GROW members, not just newcomers.

Proposal 10.4b adds a bullet to the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor job descriptions that calls for them to cooperate in potential temporary sponsors as well providing monthly lists of available sponsors to the GROW mailing list.

Beginners Meeting (10.4c)
There was a lot of discussion of the proposal to start a separate mailing list for a Beginners Meeting that would be configured like the business meeting mailing list as a subset of GROW members. The proposal called for a moderator and assumed that members of this list would volunteer to present topics similar to the way it is done in GROW.

Many participants supported the idea as a way to improve GROW’s service to newcomers, an issue raised in response to the Group Inventory. Others argued that GROW already focuses on newcomers through its Greeters, Temporary Mentor, and 12th Step Volunteer list and that a new dedicated Step/Tradition meeting will be valuable support for people new to the AA program. Several Beginners meetings are already listed on AA’s website, and it is not necessary for GROW to duplicate them. Finally, members were concerned about spliting our GROW’s focus.

The additional workload involved in running a separate meeting might be very difficult for the Trusted Servants who would to support the meeting. Assuring GROW’s guidelines are applied to the separate meeting is also problematic. It is to fill all TS positions now (we still have a vacant position), and the Secretary expressed concern about adding new positions.

It is also important for new members be responsible for finding what they need to have a healthy sobriety. While the women who commented were very receptive to and supported the idea of a Beginners Meeting, they also had many concerns about how such a meeting would be managed. We are voting yes/no in each subpart of Proposal 10 during the fourth 3-day session.

Two new proposals were presented for discussion during the third 3-day session. The both grow from the Group Inventory responses and concerns that we don’t provide enough information about the larger AA organization. They are:

  • Proposal 11.4 – GSR & 4-5-9 Calendar
  • Proposal 12.4 – Grapevine Rep & Grapevine Calendar

Respectfully, danna M GROW Business Chair

Mar 10: Relationships in Recovery

Relationships in Recovery

Hello GROW!

It’s March in the desert and that means visitors. Next week one of the people coming down to enjoy the weather will be my dad.

I have not lived in my hometown for almost 25 years. For most of that time I spent vacations visiting my dad. And I resented it. I resented the fact that my dad had never come to visit me. I felt hurt by his lack of interest in spending time with me. When I got sober, I saw that I had a lot of expectations: in short, I wanted my dad to become the dad I wanted him to be.

Over time, I have stepped back. Today I only call when I am feeling spiritually centered. I try to accept him as he is. Most importantly, I am learning to approve of myself, instead of waiting for him to approve of me.

And last year my dad came to visit me for the first time.

I have time boundaries around our interactions and bring my HP along to help me release my expectations.I have learned to say “You could be right,” instead of arguing. Today, I use my interactions with Dad to focus on what is important to me: practicing tolerance and limit setting.

How have your relationships changed as you’ve changed in sobriety? What are some of the tools you use to adjust yourself to “what is”f?

Looking forward to hearing you share on this topic or whatever is going on in your Program this week. Thanks for allowing me to be of service!

X

Kirsten

Mar 03: We admitted we were alcoholic and our lives had become unmanageable

We admitted we were alcoholic and our lives had become unmanageable

As always -I love looking up definitions. When I walked into AA, I came in with two kids, a marriage, a good job, I was and still am self employed. I hadn’t lost anything other than my self respect, my health, and my sanity. My daily mantra was ” Is this all there is” It took 6 months of therapy, after I stopped drinking to get me to see how unmanageable my life truly was. I am listing the synonyms below to help you identify with the word.

Synonyms of unmanageable
froward, headstrong, incontrollable, intractable, recalcitrant, refractory, uncontrollable, ungovernable, unruly, untoward, wayward, willful (or wilful)

Words related to unmanageable
bullheaded, contrary, difficult, hardheaded, incorrigible, intransigent, mulish, obdurate, obstinate, opinionated,perverse, pigheaded, self-willed, stiff, stiff-necked, stubborn, undisciplined, unpunished, uncontrolled, wild, boisterous, irrepressible, rambunctious, rowdy, disobedient, indocile, insubordinate, rebellious, misbehaving, naughty

(hmm now I thought those were mostly fun) Much to my chagrin, I still enjoy being boisterous, wild, rowdy and uncontrolled… well they say it’s progress. So I am also listing the replacements for unmanageability. These are the words I am working on including into my life, today.

Near Antonyms of unmanageable
docile, obedient, well-behaved, compliant, placable, pliable, submissive, yielding, accepting, persuadable, receptive, responsive, willing, reasonable, temperate, trainable

By replacing the former with the latter, I am learning that I can have the life I have always wanted. Which words resonate with you, and which ones are you working at replacing in your life? As always, If theres something you need to share, please do.

Thanks for the opportunity to be of service.

Laurie

Feb 24: Online AA

Online AA

My name is Nancy C and I am a very grateful alcoholic. It is an honor for me to Chair the GROW Meeting this week. It was February 17, 1997 that I first found online AA and my gratitude is eternal.

I sent a message to join the online group then got drunk and sent another message with just HELP in the Subject line. When I got up the next morning, there were messages from so many dear sober ladies telling me their stories and encouraging me to join them in sober living.

At first, I thought that this was my answer, not going to meetings in my town but instead doing my sober journey online. There were many ladies who pointed out that I needed to get to face-to-face meetings so people could look me in the eye and give me real hugs. It took me 2 weeks but I finally attended my first meeting on a Sunday morning and another one that night. Attended 90 meetings in 90 days and this gave me a great start on my sober journey. Met so many wonderful, helpful people who have been an important part of my life the past 22 years.

I still stayed in the online group and joined GROW when it started and found it so helpful to have a meeting and sharing available 24/7. On sleepless nights, I would get online and straighten out my stinking thinking! For four years, I was so fortunate to meet face-to-face many members of the online group at a retreat in Georgia. Awesome memories from those gatherings.

I had a sponsor here in my town who helped me immensely and had an online sponsor who I became very close to and would visit each year for my AA Birthday. She sadly passed away 2 1/2 years ago, just 5 weeks after my husband of 51 years suddenly passed away.

I have always had a very special connection to online AA and was privileged to volunteer at the OIAA (Online Intergroup Alcoholics Anonymous)Hospitality Suite at the 70th International AA Conference in Toronto ON Canada in 2005. It was fun to introduce my local AA friends to my online friends!

Both face-to-face AA and online AA mean the world to me but online will always have a special place in my heart. I would love to hear from you women this week what your experiences with online AA have been or whatever you need to share about with the group.

Thank you for the opportunity to Chair this week,

Nancy C

Feb 17: God Could and Would If He Were Sought

God Could and Would If He Were Sought

GOD COULD AND WOULD IF HE WERE SOUGHT from HOW IT WORKS

It has been said that there are no atheists in foxholes. As so many of us know, we sought a foxhole for refuge from alcoholism. It brought us to our knees to ask for help from a Higher Power, even if we didn’t have or understand one. And we were given the help we sought whether or not it seemed we deserved it. When we cleared up, of course, many of us began to question the existence of a Higher Power. Isn’t that just like us!

Having sought a foxhole from raging emotions recently, I found myself unable to identify a way out. While the wonderful women of GROW reached out to me, I was stuck in hurt, fear and hopelessness. My sponsor, a very spiritual woman, immediately noticed I was not seeking my Higher Power. She has a joyful spirituality, even after a lot of pain in her life and does not lack for a sense of humor. We even got to a point of her asking if I had been ‘sought-ing’ today (if He were sought…you got it). She also pointed out that after please should come thank you.

My relationship with a Higher Power has been touch and go throughout the years. Blame it on upbringing, blame it on me. However, in these last 2 years, we seem to have become much closer. I am starting to experience a tangible feel of His presence. Of course, it is I who is moving closer to Him. I doubt He ever moved. It seems always to take a lot to get my attention. I can only say that I hope that my attentiveness grows. Then it may not take such prolonged painful events to get me to turn to the God of my understanding.

There is a particular point in this suggestion from the Big Book. In order to receive help, we must keep an open dialog with our Higher Power. For me, there has been a lot of magical thinking around a Higher Power. For example, I thought, He will just know what I want–I don’t have to ask. The only action I have to take is to ask. And it is not my place to be guiding our Higher Power on how to get the job done! Someone wryly commented that If you insist on what you want, you may lose what you need. That is worthy of thought. AA is a simple program for complicated people.

I only have to say Please Help. I have received blessings and answers to my prayers with so little effort. While our prayers most often are on behalf of others, there is a time that I must declare my powerlessness and humility and go directly to my Higher Power for help for myself. He never disappoints! Oh sure, I may not be given what I think should get, but I always get what I need. From time to time I look at what I received when I prayed and see how spot-on the answer was. So often it turns out not to be what I thought I needed. This really is How It Works.

Barbara

Feb 10: Life On Life’s Terms

Life On Life’s Terms

We hear the phrase, :”Life on life’s terms” often in our Program. I look at it this way: Every day life is handed to me as my Higher Power directs it to be. I often say to my sponsees: “Life happens — -It’s how I respond to it that is important”!

I also describe it this way: “BORN HERE – – -TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, AND DIE HERE”! I can’t go back one tic or go forward one time. I am in THIS TIC – – -right here, right now! Nowwwwwwwwwwwwww, that tic is over!!! I often look down at my feet to remind myself where I am: “Ohhhh — -Here I am!”

I find each tic is a choice! Today I feel I have the responsibility to not only carry the message but also to carry it on in a positive manner! Imagine it the entire world felt this way – – -there would be no wars!

It’s an privilege to present our topic for the week. I look forward on your take on this subject,

Susanne Murphys, CA 8/17/91

Feb 03: Gifts of Sobriety

Gifts of Sobriety

Hello to all in this fantastic group and thank you for helping to keep us connected in sober cyber space.

I’ve been thinking a lot about gifts of sobriety as I approach my 7 year anniversary on Monday this week.

Partly this is because the further away from the beginning I stay sober, it can be easy to take things for granted and lose gratitude which has been me recently.

Over winter, I’ve been in the doldrums. In the summer last year I got myself into a fantastic routine of getting up early before the rest of my family, and my work and starting the day with silence prayers, meditation and yoga. I was motoring along great feeling a little complacent and smug perhaps thinking this would last for ever…

But further into a busy academic year, I overdid the yoga, and in a fit of resentment towards someone who was messing around at the gym not using the machines ( didn’t she know I had a busy job , kids to feed at home, me me me stuff) when I rushed and injured my shoulder. My impatience and self importance rearing it’s ugly head.

Roll on December and busy busy work as a musician and teacher whilst still in severe pain I got a nasty chest infection very physically and mentally run down . Upshot was by January ,3 months in, and a stone heavier, I was swerving way way off routine and feeling pretty sorry for myself. (I have a tendency to over do it and pay for it later!!)

Needless to say although I think I know my programme ,and usually think I know when I’m off balance, it’s incredibly easy to veer off in the wrong direction. Thankfully in late Jan early Feb I’m slowly slowly finding my way back to health and mental sobriety but it’s taken a while.

The important reminder for me is that in the dark days of “poor me ” I completely lost sight of ” but you’re still sober” and any gratitude to the tools I’ve been given.

Now I’m back to a daily morning and evening routine and recording my gratitude. And it’s so true that gratitude changes attitude. But I’m trying to remember my perfection- ism and say easy does it and what I can fit in is good enough.

So this essentially is a long way round to saying I’m really keen to recalibrate and reflect on the gifts of sobriety which I’d somehow forgotten having overdone it big time.

What are the immediate gifts of sobriety that spring to mind? Here are mine.

The biggest is peace of mind – losing the daily angst, self flagellation and hatred, and knowing if that inner dialogue starts I’m off kilter and need to re-set.

Another gift is self awareness around my “isms”. Perfectionism and being impatient with myself and others still loom large but generally I have a strategy and if I don’t I have a front row set of friends who can tell me.

I love that old pleasures and interests have returned. The things I loved before the drinking years. A renewed interest in theatre and my music. I’ve now joined a stunning choir here in Oxford UK, which just brings me huge amounts of joy.

I love reading and I’m back to enjoying historical novels. All these things were lost to me in the years of drink. I couldn’t sit through a play if I’d had a drink without being restless irritable and discontent and I used to read and re read chapters in books as I’d not be focussed and forget what I’d read the night before. I’d decided all my drinking friends who were musicians just made it worse and I had so many drunken nights with them I’d kind of lost connection to music.

New pastimes also have been gifts – namely Mindfulness and Pilates/ yoga . A different gift of desperation – a rock bottom of a different type in 2014 opened me up to the huge benefits of these practices to keep in my sobriety tool kit.

Enjoying what is is another big gift- simple things such as smelling the grass as the seasons change, just being attuned and alert to the world around me. Not having smoked so many cigarettes or drunk so many wines it didn’t make any difference weather it was October or February.

Another gift is a better – generally lol – way of dealing with being acutely sensitive, having a quick temper and and needing now to reflect not react. Mostly!!!

Twice this week someone has said something to me where I’ve felt hurt and instantly stung. But that all too quick surge of rising anger in my stomach was replaced by pause, hand it over, detach, ” it’s not about you” , writing it out – which I’ve discovered helps loads- and getting the adult part of my head to talk down the fearful child reactive bit.

The gift of 24 hours helps me daily. Being able to start again the next or even same day better again having not dealt with things well. Reflecting re- sizing and re addressing things and being in better mental shape to be around others – be it my children, my students or family, friends in and out of the fellowship.

omeone once told me another brilliant gift from A.A. is you can bring your children up with the twelve steps. It’s a way of living for everyone in the family. As loving and kind as my own parents were and still are I don’t think they or I knew many strategies for dealing with life and other people when things go ” not according to plan”. I’m so aware that I can help me and my kids ( one of whom has all the isms that I do) cope better.

I’m also aware how fortunate I am that my kids can’t remember me as a drunk mum.

There’s so much else I could say about gifts I have received in this last seven years, amazing women I’ve met in the fellowship, and so so much more, but genuinely I’m really keen to hear from others in this amazing group –

What had sobriety given you in terms of gifts? and which things still trip you up or do you need reminding of?

My blessings to all of you for a wonderful 24 hours and thank you for all your wonderful guidance as part of my sobriety tool kit.

Ellie

Jan 20: Words to Live By

Words to Live By

For our topic today I am using a reading from A Day at a Time, Words to Live By – A Hazelden meditation book.

“Have I ever stopped to think that the impulse to “blow off steam” and say something unkind or even vicious will, if followed through, hurt me far more seriously than the person to whom the insult is directed? I must try constantly to quiet my mind before I act with impatience or hostility for my mind can be-in a very real way-an enemy as great as any I’ve ever known. Will I look before I leap, think before I speak-and try to avoid self-will to the greatest extent possible?”

When I first got sober and had my profound spiritual experience, I did everything more slowly. I thought over every comment, every word, before they left my mouth. I even meditated on what God’s will would be for each and every action. As years went by I became more accustomed to this way of thinking and acting as it had became 2nd nature (this was told to me by my sponsor because I was worried I did not process the same as in the beginning).

I seem now to have lost some of this ability. It may due to long term sobriety and my complacency with it, I am not sure. I am not as bad as I was during my using days but would like to have that God consciousness again. I want to slow down more, think about what I am going to say more and stop being as judgemental as I have become. I have acted more impatiently on occasions of losing my temper or becoming frustrated. This has truly bothered me and I am embarrassed over these incidents. I have a new sponsor and hope our work together will put me back into my God conscious state of mind.

Please share if you have had any issues with this or about anything you need to talk about today.

Hugs, Lynn H. DOS 9/30/96

Jan 13: Step One

Step One

It is January, and many women have already shared on Step One. However, in our October business meeting, we considered dedicating one week of each month to the corresponding step. We will discuss this again in April. I’d love to hear what you think about dedicating one meeting each month to the corresponding step.

It’s January, so Step One is on the table. I never doubted that I was an alcoholic. I was compulsively drawn to anything that took my feelings away long before I ever tasted alcohol. When I finally did have my first drink, I got drunk. I loved it. It made me sociable and sexy. I was able to talk to people. I could dance better. I could play pool (between the second and third drink). I never had one or two drinks. I always got drunk. That was the goal. So, when I got to AA, my powerlessness over mind-altering substances was not an issue.

The unmanageability of my life was. For a very long time, I was high-functioning despite my dependence on booze, pot, pills, food. I didn’t miss work. It was my punishment for getting so drunk the night before. I got promotions and raises. My friends were all partiers, too, so no one noticed how much I drank. For many years, I was able to fake it through life. Never mind two failed marriages, childlessness, aimlessness. I somehow made it look okay. That went on for over 30 years before it all began to catch up with me.

I’d already tried AA once – to get my husband off my back. I wasn’t sincere. I still wanted to drink, and I did. I went to meetings every day for three years, and I drank every day, too. I pretended to be part of AA, but I had unspoken contempt for people who could do what I could not. After three years of this, I got to treatment and managed 15 months without a drink (although I cheated with Nyquil). When I relapsed, I swore I’d never go back to AA. Little did I know my drinking would bring me back.

A five-year relapse brought me to my knees. My life got very unmanageable. The promotions, awards, and raises had long since ended. I didn’t party with others anymore. I drank alone in front of the TV. I had to check the bath towels to know if I’d bathed the night before and check the kitchen sick to know if I’d eaten. I drank and drove often. Thank God I never killed anyone. I couldn’t go more than one day without drinking. I used to joke that if I could make it a week, I could make years. That turned out to be true.

Finally, I married a man I’d never had a date with who didn’t speak much English. He wanted a green card and my money. He got both. I was delusional. I was doing my part to help the Third World. When asked why I married him, I told them I didn’t have anything better to do at the time. That’s how much I valued myself. After three months of pretend marriage and a couple of attempts on his life, God showed me what I had become – a foul-mouthed fire-breathing, hateful, raging drunk woman. I couldn’t be that woman anymore. It was time to go back to AA.

I was terrified I’d go through another three years of meetings and drinking. I was broken and hopeless. I didn’t believe AA would work for me, but I’d run out of options. It was all that was left. So, I went, and I listened, and I cried. This time, I wasn’t pretending. I was desperate. I wanted what you had but had no hope of getting it. Even so, I did what people suggested. Why not? Nothing I’d done on my own had helped. I was finally willing to do Step One with all my heart.

That was over 22 years ago. I didn’t have to go through that feared three years. When I left my first meeting, the compulsion to drink was gone. The obsession was not, but I finally had a choice. I was one of the “slowly” variety. It took years for me to feel some hope. I cried regularly in meetings for at least the first two years. It took a year to get the Peruvian out of my house and life. Everything was a struggle. In my first year, I lost my beloved cat, and then I lost my best friend to breast cancer. But I didn’t drink.

It wasn’t easy. But it was simple. AA gave me the Steps and a sponsor to help me work them. My sponsor ‘tricked’ me into service positions, so I began to feel like a part of AA. The online community, you women, kept me sober even when I wasn’t sane. I got to meet some of you personally, a true blessing of the program. The program gave me written instructions in the Big Book and many people who had been there to show me the way. I think I was maybe five years sober when I realized the promises were coming true even for me.

I can have it all again. All I have to do is pick up a drink. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not be able to stop again. That’s what I think of whenever I think about having “just one” drink. I never had just one. I am sure I would die an alcoholic death. But what I am more afraid of is living an alcoholic life. So, every time I think of picking up, I do Step One all over again. I play the tape all the way through. I know where it ends. No need to experiment or do more research.

I invite you to share your story with us this week. What brought you to AA? What keeps you here?

Thank you for letting me share, danna

Jan 06: From Page 62 of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous

From Page 62 of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous

“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.”

Hi! I’m Julie and still an alcoholic. I was reminded of this bit in another meeting and wanted to make it the topic and share in this meeting.

“Most good ideas are simple.” Oh, how I love that line. The simplicity of this program is such a beautiful thing. Simple but not easy.

For the longest time, I played God. I thought I was in charge of my life. I had to run the show. I couldn’t ask for help. Even though I had a little bit of religious education but lacked trust and faith.

I felt let down again and again by my parents. I watched them try to do it all and act like martyrs in the process. I guess that’s what was ingrained in me.

Do it yourself. You won’t be able to do it perfectly. So quit trying. Maybe just moan and complain. Don’t ask for help. Repeat and repeat.

It’s so awesome to have come to believe in a power greater than myself. I am no longer alone. I have faith in my God. I trust my God. It was a simple suggestion from my sponsor to ask for help in the morning and say thank you at night.

Overtime I grew in my recovery and spiritually. I came to believe. I passed that arch and it’s been such an amazing journey.

Sobriety has given me so much (and taken away as much, thank God.)

Following the how and the why of it… I’m grateful. I’ll keep coming back.

Please share on this topic or anything that might be on your mind.

Julie K, 5/17/12

Dec 30: Becoming More Efficient

Becoming More Efficient

This stood out to me last week in my home group Big Book Study:

“We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.” pg 87-88 Big Book

What I really identified with was in much less danger of excitement…part.

When I was still drinking and thinking about a life of not drinking, I always thought “How boring! What do those people do?!? What do they look forward to??” I needed that “excited” feeling I got when I thought about having my first drink and what ever else was to follow.

When God got me sober in 2014, I was finally able to comprehend that I could actually live without drinking….that there were other things to do and get “excited” about. But, that isn’t a necessarily a good thing for me. I basically transferred my excitement about drinking into other equally unhealthy actions and behaviors. If there was nothing going on I could conjurer up ‘excitement” that my relentless mind fed me through thoughts. This new sober addiction to excitement, or I guess it was always there, would always result in havoc, drama and chaos in my life and in my home.

Did I know that at the time…no. Did I know that I was still in bondage to the drug of dopamine, adrenaline and cortisol that my body produces through drama and fear-no. Did I know that if I am obsessing over someone, trying to control them, fix them (which is playing God); that this creates strife, nervous energy, unrest, discomfort and dis-ease that is infectious and destructive for others-no.

When I went through the work again, I saw that AGAIN, I was the problem-UGH! I was a controlling, frighten, chaos junkie…even though I couldn’t see it because it’s easier to blame them instead. Excitement is dangerous for me. Either the thing that I am getting excited about will not meet my expectations and I will be disappointed, or I would create a resentment toward the person who got me excited and did not meet my huge expectations.

I clearly see when and how this started. When I was a young girl my perceptions and conceptions were just starting to form. My mom (not blaming her-at all, I just needed to understand why and where this started so that I wouldn’t repeat it) would say stuff like “Honey are you excited about this or that” and she would get excited….

I don’t think its natural to get excited over food or whatever my mom wanted me to get excited over. I just think she wanted to see me happy but instead what she was doing was feeding my dis-ease. When her excitement didn’t live up to my expectations I was disappointed and honestly pissed at her for building it up! LOL Then she would get pissed at me a say “why are you never satisfied!!” My brain wasn’t developed enough or equip to handle such “excitement”. Not to mention not being grounded in God or reality.

I know I have told this story to sponsees, or perhaps shared it in the group, but it sums up my life into my mid 20’s….

It was the night before my 7th or 8th birthday and I was about to take a shower and mom said…”when you get out I have a surprise for you!!!!” She would do a little dance and sing a bit just getting me all that more excited ( I now do this with my dogs, which makes them overly excited..which then makes me anxious even though I started it…lol.. I am working on not doing) So while I am in the shower my 7 year old mind is building this “surprise” into a huge event! I truly thought that I would get out of the shower and Chucky Cheese would be in the living room with all his friends to greet me and wish me a happy birthday! I had convinced myself of this reality.

SO, when I got out of the shower and saw the new Strawberry Shortcake pj’s laying there, that THAT was my surprise…I was livid!!! LOLOLOLOL! I wasn’t the type to hold back my disappointment and fury! I let her KNOW how disappointed I was and through a fit!! She then would say that I was crazy just like my dad and a spoiled brat…and so it goes. I wasn’t spoiled (just alcoholic) and she wasn’t necessarily doing anything wrong.

Most children don’t build stuff up in their heads the way I did… but I have a alcoholic brain so excitement is dangerous for me and my family. I know she picked up on my constant state of sadness as a child and that she was just trying to make me happy-instead it just helped to create a unsatisfied monster and more strife between us because of her reaction to my outbursts. I wasn’t a happy go lucky child-I was intense and worried, sad and nervous, irritable, restless and discontent….so excitement was just an accelerator.

Being disconnected from God in a unstable environment is when I created my maladjusted coping mechanisms to “get through” life. The same child like mind and defects that resulted from these maladjusted skills and thought forms, followed me into my teens and early adulthood. It took longer to grow out of I think because of my drinking and still being disconnected from God.

Now that I am reconnected to my Creator, not drinking, and aware of my defects, I don’t need “excitement” because I am content…on most days. It still ignites when I am in some sort of obsession, usually on Brian, setting him up to fail me because I am in some sort of fear…

So I call my sponsor, reach out to sponsees or newcomer, do some inventory, make some prayer, and I get grounded back into reality.

I am less likely to be drained and to drain others with my excitement when I am spiritually fit. When I am and grounded in my Faith and AA, I am way more efficient in my relationships, in sponsoring and my daily life.

Questions to group, pick one or all:

Where have you seen the dangerous and self destructive side effects of excitement in or out of sobriety? Do you tend to build things up, just to be disappointed? What patterns have you noticed that lead to self sabotaging? Please also share on how you stay spiritually fit and efficient and what measures you take when you see yourself slipping into excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or a foolish decision….

Thank you for the opportunity to Chair today!

Hilarie

Dec 23: Opportunity to be of Service

Opportunity to be of Service

The timing of this opportunity to be of service couldn’t come at a better time because it’s also a very challenging one in my recovery. Funny how things can work out that way.

I have to be very honest with you all. I have been experiencing the pitfalls of longer term sobriety and have felt like a hypocrite. Intellectually, I know what the right things are to do; meetings, sponsorship, working with a sponsor and others, service, prayer, meditation and more.

Over time I have become lost and distant from f2f meetings. The tools of the program have been neglected including my connection with my Higher Power.

I have felt as though I have been in trouble and not understanding what’s going on.

Finally, in a counseling session, I realized all of the changes and losses that there’s been for me in my AA community. A number of key people who were a big part of my recovery here in VT have moved away including my sponsor. There have been others who’ve left for other reasons, and then there have been deaths of a couple of old timers whose absence is keenly felt.

I am fortunate in that my husband is also in recovery. He has his program and I have mine. He doesn’t nag me or try to tell me what to do but, he’s always there if I need him. I asked him where to start humbly realizing I needed help. He is a huge example of someone who talks the talk and walks the walk.

He suggested I go back to the basics. So, to start I have been getting on my knees in the am. I have been reading “How It Works” in the Big Book, and meditating for short periods of time. More action is needed.

I am so grateful because this is our sober weekend getaway. Every Christmas for the last few years we are fortunate to be able to go to E. Dorset, VT to Bill Wilson’s Inn. There we are submerged in AA. Just the surroundings alone bring me comfort and a feeling of serenity and peace.

There are meetings from tonight, into tomorrow and then Sun am that we attend. It’ like a shot of AA in the heart to help me move forward. I can’t afford to keep sliding back or to stay stuck in place.

I know that I can’t stay sober alone and isolated. I have to take responsibility and do whatever it takes to rebuild a community of women in f2f meetings, find a new sponsor locally, continually stay in contact with my Higher Power and remember the tools.

I don’t want to drink today but, I truly understand that our disease is insidious and always there if we neglect our program of recovery.

I feel as though I have rambled on but hope that there are those of you who can relate to what I have shared in some way. If you have any ESH that you would like to share with me privately please send to serenity9918@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. Otherwise, as always, I look forward to your shares.

Merry X-mas and Happy New Year.

Love, Ruth F. DOS: 2/14/99

Dec 16: Christmas, and gratitude versus expectations/rights

Christmas, and gratitude versus expectations/rights

I rarely drank over Christmas when I was a drinking alcoholic. Only once and that was a horrible time, needless to say. I made myself and my family miserable. I was a binge drinker so staying away from alcohol over the holidays wasn’t difficult for me, as I had grown up with fabulous memories of Christmas as a child, and then into my adult drinking life. It was a magical time of year– I’d whizz through the house until it was sparkling clean, every corner, don’t you know.. presents wrapped, visits made, and all very much centred around our son. It seemed like Christmas was the magical oasis in a year where the other 360 or so days were full of pain and chaos as a result of my alcoholism. Even when my husband and I split up {I got sober a year or so after we split up), it was still good, as my son would spend Christmas Day with his dad and Boxing Day became another Christmas Day for him with me. The spiritual significance of Christmas I felt to some extent too.

I celebrated 36 years of sobriety just last Tuesday. I’m so very grateful for that. I got sober upon turning 30 years of age, two weeks before Christmas… And I look forward to the season and celebrations every year since. That’s apart from the Christmas many years ago now when my young nephew was killed in a car crash. Christmas didn’t happen. But ever after, he became part of what made Christmas special. His memory very much is part of it in a good way.

The past two Christmases have not been so good– one involved an early stage breast cancer diagnosis the week before Christmas (cancer-free now and healthy). And last year, I spent Christmas alone (mostly by choice). Now, I normally live quite a social and busy life but I deeply value my time spent alone so I thought being alone at Christmas would be okay for me– it wasn’t! Maybe another year it might have been but there’d been a death in Oct (my ex) and then an ex-in law took her own life as well just three weeks later. Both my sons were affected deeply by all of this.. and for various reasons we couldn’t spend Christmas together (one lives in Peru, the other had to work).

Being alone over the holidays can be the most peaceful for some of you– you have shared that with me. And I thought that I would handle it well and actually enjoy relaxing and not having to be running around looking after others. But I drifted into self pity, resentment and, yes, sadness. I found out that me alone at Christmas didn’t work — not that year anyway–so this year I’d thought about helping out at a homeless shelter or somewhere like that but as it turns out I won’t be.

This year my son will be coming over again and we’re both very much looking forward to that. On Monday my grandson will be coming up for a few days. I’m excited about seeing both of them (haven’t since August). But I also know that as an alcoholic I can build pictures in my mind of how it should be . . .! Yes, expectations. And when I expect things to be a certain way, I often get a rude awakening!

If I stay grateful each 24-hr period I am given, living in the day and doing the next right thing, doing what I can to prepare but handing over the results to my Higher Power, then I’m on a winner! I can remain serene, and know that God is in charge of the whole caboodle. A few lines from Acceptance is the Answer in our Big Book tell me about expectations, and also ‘rights’. How many times did this scenario run through my head…. ‘but I deserve better than this… surely at my time in sobriety I should not be experiencing them not doing as I would like them to…’ LOL … :

My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of[ …. ] other people, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my “rights” try to move in, and they too can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level–at least for the time being. Acceptance is the key to my relationship with God today. I never just sit and do nothing while waiting for Him to tell me what to do. Rather, I do whatever is in front of me to be done, and I leave the results up to Him; however it turns out, that’s God’s will for me. I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance.

I realise that some of you reading this may not celebrate Christmas. Please share on expectations / gratitude about any day, holiday season or not. Do you have another holiday / season which figures big for you? And does the season impact on you whether you celebrate it or not?

Do you spend Christmas alone or with others? What are your suggestions, things that work for you, that you might pass on to others?

When I live in gratitude, I experience a peace that passes all understanding… no matter what is going on in my life. Share your gratitude list if you like!

Love and hugs, Louise

Dec 09: Decisions in Sobriety

Decisions in Sobriety

When I was drinking and well into my early sobriety I was terrible with making decisions. I would generally either make impulsive decisions that would turn out to be disasters (i.e marriages, relationships, geographics, spending impulsively, quitting jobs I really needed) or I would be so indecisive to where I could not make a decision. I had neither wisdom, God, or sobriety to help me. I was running on self-will run riot. I did not pause or take time to think.

Our Big Book says to pause when agitated. (Page 87, concerning morning meditation).

I was a very immature 47 year old when I got sober and kids/immature people do not make the best decisions.

What changed? The program and steps of course.

I ask God for help with my life and for his will for my life. I have more confidence in myself and think I am a capable person now. Sometimes my decision is just to do the next right thing.

I try to have lots of gratitude for basic things like my home, my job, food. I try to “play the tape all the way through” so I can see future consequences of a possible bad decision. I try to think of others instead of just myself, tall order for this selfish alcoholic. I pray for extra help through the bad situations. I use “restraint of pen and tongue.”I don’t always have to chime in or say something. Life is still progress and not perfection but I feel like a lady now as opposed to the drunk I used to be.

I just love page 86-87 “On awakening…”in the Big Book which tells us how to handle our daily decisions with God. It even says God gave us brains to use.

Thanks so much for letting me share.

Dec 02: Suggestions

Suggestions

Hi! I’m Julie and a grateful alcoholic. Happy to be of service at the last minute this week.

For a topic I would like to suggest the suggestions!

“Make no requests in prayer for yourself only.

Never pray for your own selfish ends.

Select and memorize a few set prayers that emphasize the principles of the Steps.

Ask a priest, minister or rabbi about helpful books and prayers that emphasize the principles of the Steps.

Be quick to see where religious people are right.

Make use of what religious people have to offer. (p. 87)”

I thought when I came in that I had a relationship with God and I prayed for others.

What I realized is that I was praying more so for my own selfish needs.

I learned that praying, really praying, meant I had to learn how to. Listen to others. Follow suggestions on how to connect with the God of my understanding. Finally I had to put others before myself. Trust and have faith. I had to learn about God and aligning my will with Gods. Not the other way around.

Please share on this topic or anything that may be on your mind.

Julie K, 5/17/12

Nov 25: Tried & Tested Prayers

Tried & Tested Prayers

When I was first attending AA and beginning to put sober days together I was surprised when it was suggested that I try praying.

I had no reference point for prayer other than in the church of my childhood.

I quickly learned the Serenity Prayer to say at the end of meetings but only because I wanted to fit in. I was saying it by rote but with no meaning.

Then someone suggested I say thank you at the end of each day. Thank you for the roof over my head, the food in my belly, the clothes on my back. And to say it to whatever I thought may or may not be there. I began following this suggestion and found I was slept better! I didn’t think of this as a prayer back then but I do now.

Then I met the lady who would become my sponsor for the next 5 years of my sobriety. She talked about waking up in the morning and talking to god. She told me how she would sit at the edge of her bed and open her arms. I had no idea! I thought prayer was on one’s knees with hands together.

Today I’m open to learning from anyone and anywhere, ideas on ways to pray and words to say, ways to develop my conscious contact with the god of my understanding.

P.104-105 Step 11 from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (https://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step11.pdf) says…

“In AA we have found that the actual good results of prayer are beyond question…

All those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their own.

They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability.

And they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in the face of difficult circumstances.”

Are there results you’ve had from praying? Do any of these experiences of wisdom or peace or strength resonate?

Are there any prayers or words that have been particularly helpful? Have you struggled with willingness to pray? Have you doubted prayer could work for you?

I went through one of the toughest things in my life and in my sobriety this year. I was given a suggestion to repeatedly pray just 3 lines of the St Francis / Step 11 Prayer.

It changed my experience of what was happening, it gave me a peace that could only have come from something beyond human, it enabled me to put others first but still look after myself, it opened my eyes and heart to the humanity in someone I’d had a difficult relationship with and gave me the strength to be of use to them.

The lines were these…

God, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.

At another incredibly tough time, a few years ago, I was shown how to pray by slowing down the words to say a single word at a time, with a big pause between each word, giving my mind time to feel the word.

I used to use this as a meditation, standing at my garden door, rocking my poorly baby, sometimes an hour at a time until he slept. I felt so alone and so helpless but praying in this way connected me at such a deep level with god, I felt safe and held and that I was being given the strength to get well myself and to be there for my baby.

It gave me such comfort in such a dark time that I knew no matter what came, god would be there for me.

At times of unwillingness to pray I find writing to god really helpful, just getting all my thoughts out.

I am so grateful to AA for showing me how to find a power greater than myself and for continuing to show me how to connect and hear the guidance I need to live a sober, useful, content life. At times it’s not necessarily easy, but it’s easier than drinking!

Thank you for letting me be of service.

The meeting is open for sharing, on the topic of Tried & Tested Prayers or for anything recovery related that you need or want to share.

In love and fellowship, Sophie.

Nov 18: Procrastination

Procrastination

My name is Christy and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for attending today’s meeting of GROW. My topic this week is Procrastination. I have certainly struggled, and still do, with procrastination in about all areas of my life. When I was drinking I would come up with grandiose plans of things to get done, crafts I could do, and places to see. But, I never got around to doing those things, because I was so tired and hungover the next day. Worse, was that I would make promises that I would never keep. Promises to my husband and my kids. I would tell them later we will do it or maybe. I thought that I needed that drink to let myself be free and be creative. When all I was doing was procrastinating and putting off being with my loved ones for a drink. My disease told me I was more fun and engaged when I was under the influence, when in actuality I was more removed from my family. My husband would tell me how removed I was from them, I isolated and was all about me.

I certainly don’t miss those days! AA has made me self aware and helped me find the true Christy again. I am very thankful I found AA and the fellowship. I am a new person, free to be me, more involved with my husband and kids. I am a crafty gal and I have so many new hobbies! I love my life, without alcohol. Thank you ladies for listening and fellowship!

Nov 11: The List and The Solution

The List and The Solution

This week I would like to share about the list of resentments and the solution to mastering them.

From the BB page…

We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol. This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”

When I first did a fourth step, I made a list. And when I did the fifth step my sponsor, at the time, helped me see my character defects. (I can see them a lot clearer today. Ha.) Today when I get my panties in a wad, my sponsor will send me to do a fourth step and then call her back. It’s easy for me to state my resentments. BUT it’s not so easy to look at it from a different angle.

I have to realize the people who wronged me are spiritually sick.

And to pray for them??!!

Seriously??

The holidays are approaching, and to be honest with you, many of the people on my list happen to be in my family (or my husbands family). Sometimes (ALOT) it feels impossible to see that they are spiritually sick and to pray for them. Especially my dad. It’s so hard for me not to blame him for things in my life. In the program, I have learned to set boundaries and to take care of myself. But sometimes in a single word or look that he gives—-a flame of anger can engulf me. So right now I am preparing myself. I am praying for him and my father in law (who I can’t stand). It’s really hard to pray for them –I don’t know what to say. I am setting time limits on family gatherings. I’m focusing on my husband and children and myself and what works best for our family.

I guess the last thing I want to say is that this stuff isn’t easy. But when I practice what is suggested, things tend to work out and I have peace instead of anger and anxiety.

2018 Business Meeting – October

2018 Business Meeting – October

(topics are listed below are in order of presentation)

Nov 04: Anonymity

Anonymity

I’ve been thinking about anonymity and all the different meanings it has had for me over the years in AA. At first, all it meant was that no one would know I was in AA, therefore an alcoholic. I was fearful about judgment and the stigma I attached, thinking it meant I was weak and/or defective.

After making amends and telling people I was in AA, I lost most of that fear. I have never has anything negative happen because someone knew I was a sober alcoholic.

In meetings and with sponsors I began to see anonymity in a different way. It had more to do with humility and my growing love for AA. I wanted to adhere to the traditions and respect the idea of being anonymous at any public level. I am not much of a social media person, but I think it is an area where many people question the bounds of being an anonymous member of AA.

Today anonymity means that I don’t disclose my membership in AA in any public way. I was on a vacation in Italy last month and the wine flowed. I was careful about alcohol (it was in desserts) and some people noticed that I didn’t drink. I’m careful in those situations because I’m never sure if it makes people uncomfortable. When I do disclose it, it’s always fine, but I hesitate to be totally transparent.

I wonder how others understand anonymity and how/when to share being in AA with strangers, in social media, in various groups, etc.

Oct 28: Practicing These Principles in All Our Affairs

Practicing These Principles in All Our Affairs

I am so grateful to be alive and sober today. I have gone through a lot of things in sobriety which I have learned is part of life. I have learned that I am not “special” that every human being is connected and we are more alike than we think. Learning how to practice the principals in all my affairs and to do the right thing when no one is looking has been huge for me. The growth that has come from doing what I know in my gut has been “right” has been one of the greatest gifts of recovery. Recently I have peeled off another layer of the onion. For the past 2 years I have struggled with an issue almost non-stop and I just could not let it go, and it ended up coming out sideways in a lot of areas in my life. I knew the entire time that the answer would come and that eventually I would grow though this and I feel like I finally reached a new level of acceptance. The answers are always in the steps and just because we are doing everything right doesn’t mean life “works out” sometimes.

“God is everything or nothing what is our choice to be?”

I am so grateful to be able to practice honesty dependability and transparency in my everyday life, thanks for letting me share.

Oct 21: On Awakening

On Awakening

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. we relax and take it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.

If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

It works – it really does.

We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.” (from “Alcoholics Anonymous pg. 86-88)

I have always enjoyed this passage. For me, it encapsulates our AA morning ritual.

When I read it, it reminds me that my answers and solutions are right there, with my higher power. I surrender my will and my life to him each morning. I ask him to guide me and show me my next right action.

The time I spend in prayer and meditation are always time well spent.

How does this AA passage aid you in your sobriety?

Have a blessed day!

Oct 14: Sharing

Sharing

Hello, my dear sisters in sobriety! Thank you for this opportunity to chair a meeting. As I was fishing for a topic, this is what came up for me:

It seems to me that secrets are about the only things (besides mushrooms) that grow in the dark. Secrets, wrapped up in shame, hiding under denial, festering in isolation, begging for a drink to keep them under wraps…What are my secrets today? Apparently I still have a few (!) — I’ve been going through a pretty difficult time, but have I shared about it? I have been going to f2f meetings, but I haven’t been opening my mouth. And I have been absent from GROW for quite some time. I get into that vicious cycle of not sharing regularly, and a week turns into two weeks, which turns into a month of not even checking in. Meanwhile, my secret shame is doing push-ups (just like my alcoholism) and starting to tell me things like, “You might as well drop out of GROW,” and other, worse things, which, experience has taught me, sooner or later will lead me to the alcohol watering hole.

Luckily (coincidence? I think not) I had signed up to chair this week — Something is keeping me connected to GROW…and committed to growing. The higher power, I believe, is doing this for me, in spite of my vicious mind. I have been shown my primary purpose — to stay sober and help another alcoholic. How to do that? HOW, the first one being Honesty, which takes courage, and courage takes faith, and faith takes letting go and turning it over, which gives me the strength to be Open and Willing to connect to other alcoholics by sharing whatever is going on with me. I know a drink is waiting for me to close up again and dive back into the depths of old thinking.

You know what hit me as I was reading back over this? I said, “I’ve been going through a pretty difficult time,” and it finally dawned on me — why is it difficult? I’ve been trying to control everything again! D’oh! So that’s what has been going on with me! All I had to do was put my problem into words (and the particulars really don’t matter) and share it, whether in writing or at a meeting, and the miracle of being restored to sanity can happen. And I didn’t have to drink over it!

Thank you all for letting me (and encouraging me to) share.

1018 – Second 3-day Period Minutes

Minutes for Second 3-day Period

During the second 3-day period of the business meeting, we announced the results of voting on the first three proposals and discussed three proposals presented at the end of the first 3-day session.

Results of Voting on Proposal 2.1 – Change FYI Letter

Fifteen (15) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 2.1. Therefore, it is adopted as as a unanimous Group Conscience decision:

Group Conscience Decision:

Delete item d. (Web Page Information) in the GROW FYI CONTENTS section of the FYI Letter sent out by the Secretary each month.


Results of Voting on Proposal 3.2 – “Let it Stay Here”

Proposal 3: Add the reminder to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter (between the Preamble and “How It Works”) to emphasize the principle of anonymity in our meetings: “Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.”

In response to comments, the Chair presented two versions of the proposal. The first version (3.2a) reflected suggested edits to the recommended language that met with general approval. The second version (3.2b) contained the suggested edits as well as the deletion of a similar line (the penultimate paragraph) of the current Weekly Meeting Format Letter. Participants were asked to vote on one of the two versions (indicating an automatic “I disagree” vote for the other version).

Four (4) participants voted in favor (25%), and 12 voted against Proposal 3.2a. Therefore, the proposal did not meet the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. 

Twelve (12) participants voted in favor (75%), and four (4) voted against Proposal 3.2b. Therefore, Proposal 3.2b met the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. 

Before we can adopt Proposal 3.2b as a Group Conscience decision, the participants who voted against it will have the opportunity to express their “Minority Opinion” during the third 3-day period of the Business Meeting. If no one wants to submit a Minority Opinion, the proposal is adopted. If a Minority Opinion is submitted and one participant decides to change their vote, we will vote a second time on the proposal, giving all participants the opportunity to change their vote. Minority Opinions are invited for submission during the third 3-day period of the Business Meeting.

Results of Voting on Proposal 4.1 – Contribution to oso-aa.org

Eighteen (18) participants voted in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 4.1. Therefore, it is adopted as a unanimous Group Conscience decision:

Group Conscience Decision:

Increase the monthly contribution to Dean Collins (oso-aa.org) to reimburse him for any time and effort to support GROW’s website, particularly the new website WordPress configuration. Double the current contribution from $12 per month ($72 for six months) to $24 ($144 for six months).

Recommended Language: Change the sub-bullet in the Treasurer’s job description to reflect the increase:

$12.00 $24.00 monthly to OSO-AA (PayPal: dean.collins@insightplanners.com) (6 months expenses)


Summary of Discussions

Comments on Proposal 5.3 – Newcomer Committee

Eight (8) participants commented on Proposal 5.2 creating a Newcomer Committee to support the Temporary Mentor.
The Trusted Servants who jointly proposed the creation of a Newcomer Committee explained their reasoning as to why it was important and how the committee would operate. Our current Temporary Mentor shared her experience with a portion of newcomers who have tried without success to get a sponsor based on our “Available Online Sponsor” webpage, reporting their queries were not answered timely or at all. Given that some newcomers need a lot of guidance and support, the Temporary Mentor sometimes finds the position overwhelming and could use the support of women who themselves are new to AA’s program in answering questions and supporting women brand new to sobriety.
The committee would be informal, something like the 12th Step List, with members who volunteer and are not Trusted Servants. This gives women with less sober time the opportunity to be of service while also building a strong foundation for their own recovery. The Temporary Mentor would lead the group.

Most of the women who commented on this proposal supported the idea and appreciated the explanations given by the current and immediate past Temporary Mentor. One member suggested that there should be a requirement for a minimum of three months to be on the committee. Others cautioned against overwhelming our new members with too much information too soon. In the third 3-day session, we will vote on Proposal 5.3 as presented.

Comments on Proposal 6.3 – TM & AA Resources

Six (6) participants commented on the proposal for the Temporary Mentor to send links to AA resources (AA, OIAA, Grapevine) to newcomers and to send these links to the larger GROW group each month as a reminder. Comments were generally positive, although some offered additional resources (like AA’s GSO and AA-approved literature like the Big Book, 12×12, and Living Sober). As with Proposal 5.2, a couple of participants cautioned against overwhelming people with too much information at one time, suggesting more packets of information would be more effective. In the third 3-day session, we will vote on Proposal 6.3 as presented.

Comments on Proposal 7.3 – Abolish OIAA Representative Position

Thirteen (13) women commented on the proposal to abolish the Trusted Servant position of OIAA Representative. Comments both supported and opposed the proposal, and many participants asked questions about the impacts of withdrawing our representative from OIAA.

Supporting the proposal, several women who had held the OIAA Rep position confirmed that their experience had been one of frustration with OIAA’s lack of organization and contentious meetings. OIAA Rep resigned her position and welcomed any replacement who could overlook the chaos and confusion in OIAA that we have experienced for 15 years.

Several  women agreed with withdrawing from OIAA with a few caveats:

  • that GROW would continue to be listed on the OIAA website. (Note: groups do not have to participate in OIAA to be listed on their website.)
  • that GROW would explain why it is leaving OIAA to the entire membership of our meeting.
  • that individual GROW members would continue to have access to the OIAA website.

Several women felt that GROW’s participation in OIAA is important for a variety of reasons that include:

  • GROW’s hosting the OIAA Suite during International AA Conferences
  • OIAA’s improvement over time related to the frequency and volume of “flaming” emails
  • The importance of OIAA to AA as a whole, especially because there GSO does not recognize OIAA/online groups at General Service Conferences – when OIAA is finally recognized by GSO, GROW might be able to send a delegate to such conferences.
  • The importance of the principle of discussion and debate in reaching decisions affecting AA as a whole and online AA in this specific case.
  • Not basing our participation in OIAA on how our OIAA Rep chooses to do her job
  • OIAA’s apparent success as the first point of contact for people new to recovery and to online AA. (One member pointed out that she found GROW on OIAA’s website.)
  • Some of GROW’s OIAA Reps have liked their interaction with OIAA and have gone on to do service with them.

A couple of participants asked about the OIAA Rep position in relation to GROW’s GSR who also serves as a contact with the larger AA organization. (The Chair points out that all references to OIAA were removed from the GSR job description in an April 2018 Group Conscience decision. Unfortunately, the changes to job titles and descriptions have not yet been made on GROW’s website.) During the third 3-day period, we will vote on the proposal as presented.

New Proposals to be Discussed during the Third 3-day Period
Three new proposals were presented for discussion by meeting participants:

Proposal 8 addresses follow-up on the 2018 Group Inventory:

GROW’s Steering Committee will review the comments made in response to the 2018 Group Inventory questions and, where appropriate, make recommendations for changes that would reflect the group’s feedback.

Proposal 9.3 calls for seting aside one meeting each month as a Step Meeting:

Grow will allocate the first weekly meeting each month as a Step meeting. The Weekly Lead Listkeeper will identify the date of the first Sunday each month when asking for volunteer leads, naming the corresponding Step (eg, January = Step 1) as the topic for that week. Grow will continue to have a Tradition as a monthly topic, sent out by the Weekly Lead Listkeeper as per current Grow conscience/guidelines.

Proposal 10 seeks to improve GROW’s handling of announcements about oneline sponsors and to establish a Beginners’ sub-meeting to run parallel with our main meeting:

GROW will better support newcomers to our group and to AA. This will involve a two-pronged approach:

In order to assure that newcomers have access to a sponsor, GROW will: Discontinue GROW’s webpage “Available Online Sponsors” (http://www.g-r-o-w.com/members/ts/sponsor.htm). The GROW members on that list will work with the Temporary Mentor to assure that newcomers who want a sponsor are assigned a temporary Sponsor. To further support newcomers to the AA program, GROW will Open a closed beginners’ meeting similar to how we are running the biz meeting.

Participants will discuss these three proposals during the third 3-day period of the October 2018 Business Meeting.

Respectfully,
danna M
GROW Business Chair

1018 – Proposal 10: GROW Sponsors

Proposal 10: GROW Sponsors

GROW will better support newcomers to our group and to AA. This will involve a two-pronged approach.

In order to assure that newcomers have access to a sponsor, GROW will: Discontinue GROW’s webpage “Available Online Sponsors“. The GROW members on that list will work with the Temporary Mentor to assure that newcomers who want a sponsor are assigned a temporary Sponsor.

Other ways GROW can improve our support to newcomers and others in need of sponsors might include sending out a monthly announcement to the effect that “If any person here does not have a sponsor and wants one, please contact [Temporary Mentor/Sponsor Listkeeper], who will arrange a temporary sponsor. The Sponsor Listkeeper could continue to send out a monthly list of available and willing sponsors, but the women on that list will rotate on a regular basis.

To further support newcomers to the AA program, GROW will Open a closed beginners’ meeting similar to how we are running the biz meeting.

Examples of how this could be accomplished include:

Interested members can ask the listkeepers to sub them to the beginners meeting.

GROW can provide a moderator and a meeting leader (length of time to be determined). The meeting could include topics such as Living Sober, the first three steps, sponsorship, etc. Examples of weekly topics include Steps 1,2, and 3 for week 1; Living Sober for week 2; general discussion or topic of choice for week 3; sponsorship problems and opportunities for week 4.

Rationale: During our discussions on the Temporary Mentor (newcomer committee and providing links to AA resources), it became clear that there are issues related to the Online Available Sponsors list/webpage because the people on that list do not always respond timely (or at all) to newcomers’ requests for help. Further, Available Online Sponsors do not rotate, and the only members that rotate on both the 12th Step List and the Sponsor List are the listkeepers. The Available Online Sponsor webpage creates the impression that only people on the sponsor list can sponsor, which in reality is not the case.

The AA pamphlet Questions & Answers on Sponsorship offers suggestions on how a group can better support new members. The following excerpt is from (pages 23-24) of that pamphlet:

“What procedures can a group set up to sponsor new members?

Carefully planned sponsorship activity within a group is often likely to produce better results than sponsorship left to chance.

A typical pattern of planned sponsorship within a local group might include the following:

  • A regular committee on sponsorship or a Twelfth Step committee, with members rotating frequently. If there is an intergroup or central office that keeps a list of local groups and the members available for Twelfth Step calls, such a committee may check to see whether the group has enough of its members on the office list to fulfill its responsibility.
  • Regular beginners meetings (also called newcom-ers meetings) — particularly in larger communities where there are many newcomers. A Guide for Leading Beginners Meetings may be ordered from G.S.O.
  • Regular assignment of members to greet newcomers at meetings and introduce them around. In large groups, people on a hospitality committee may wear badges for the benefit of the newcomer. In smaller groups, the secretary may, during the announcements, simply ask newcomers to come up and make themselves known after the meeting, so they may be introduced to other members.
  • Another suggested announcement. “If any person here does not have a sponsor and wants one, please see the secretary, who will arrange a temporary sponsor.” Where this practice is followed at each meeting, members say, it reminds the group of the value of sponsoring and being sponsored.
  • Closed-meeting discussions of sponsorship problems and opportunities. Some groups schedule meetings especially for this purpose.”

Summary of Comments on Proposal 10.3

This proposal covered a lot of territory. Discussions on the two proposals related to the Temporary Mentor (both adopted as Group Conscience decisions) led to this proposal when concerns were raised about the support GROW offers newcomers. We took a new look at the way we manage information about available sponsors and whether we give newcomers enough opportunity to talk about common issues during early sobriety. Because the proposal contained different subtopics, the Chair split it into three subparts: discontinuing the “Available Online Sponsors” Webpage (10.4a), managing Information about Available Sponsors (10.4b), and Beginners Meeting (10.4c)

Fifteen (15) participants commented on discontinuing GROW’s “Available Online Sponsors” webpage, giving greater responsibility to the Temporary Mentor in managing information about potential sponsors, and establishing a Beginners’ Meeting to operate parallel with GROW’s main mailing list.


Available Online Sponsors Webpage (10.4a)

The Temporary Mentor reported that some newcomers had contacted women on the webpage list but did not received responses timely or at all. Others questioned whether the list of sponsors was updated frequently enough to assure that the women listed were still interested in being sponsors. In addition, many of the people on the list do not share regularly; therefore, women seeking sponsors can’t get a sense of potential sponsors’ program. Finally, the list of “Available Online Sponsors” on our website may create the erroneous impression that these are the only women who can or will be sponsors. Participants felt that we should discontinue the current “Available Sponsors Webpage” and rely on the Sponsor Listkeeper’s monthly email.

Managing Information about Sponsors (10.4b)

Earlier in this business meeting, the group recognized an overlap between the Temporary Mentor (TM) in helping newcomers find sponsors and Sponsor Listkeeper. The proposal called for the women currently on the available sponsors webpage to work with the TM to find temporary sponsors for newcomers. It was pointed out that both the volunteers on the 12th Step list and the Available Sponsors might support the TM. When asked what a “Temporary” Sponsor is several participants shared their personal experience. Others talked about the awkward for newcomers before they understand the sponsor relationship and when they are still perhaps hesitant to make the commitment as an important reason for Temporary Mentors. We were reminded of the “Questions & Answers about Sponsorship” pamphlet.

The current list of available sponsors does not distinguish between those who are willing to sponsor newcomers and those who are not. It is also important to assure women who are listed as available sponsors understand their responsibility to be respond timely when contacted. It was suggested that we send out a monthly announcement that anyone who does not have a sponsor but wants one can contact [Trusted Servant(s)] for help. Another participant suggested that we rotate people on list of available sponsors, but others felt rotation would not be helpful.

One participant compared GROW to f2f meetings in the degree to which they get involved in sponsorship issues. She felt GROW sometimes became too involved in what is normally treated as a personal process – that people looking for a sponsor are responsible for finding one – and f2f meetings don’t usually go beyond advising people to “get a sponsor.”

We also discussed the overlap between the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor in this area was also discussed. In the past, GROW has not differentiated between those interested in being temporary sponsors or who want to work with newcomers, but this information is helpful to the Temporary Mentor. The Sponsor Listkeeper, however, maintains information for all GROW members, not just newcomers.

Proposal 10.4b adds a bullet to the Sponsor Listkeeper and Temporary Mentor job descriptions that calls for them to cooperate in potential temporary sponsors as well providing monthly lists of available sponsors to the GROW mailing list.

Beginners Meeting (10.4c)

There was a lot of discussion of the proposal to start a separate mailing list for a Beginners Meeting that would be configured like the business meeting mailing list as a subset of GROW members. The proposal called for a moderator and assumed that members of this list would volunteer to present topics similar to the way it is done in GROW.

Many participants supported the idea as a way to improve GROW’s service to newcomers, an issue raised in response to the Group Inventory. Others argued that GROW already focuses on newcomers through its Greeters, Temporary Mentor, and 12th Step Volunteer list and that a new dedicated Step/Tradition meeting will be valuable support for people new to the AA program. Several Beginners meetings are already listed on AA’s website, and it is not necessary for GROW to duplicate them. Finally, members were concerned about splitting our GROW’s focus.

The additional workload involved in running a separate meeting might be very difficult for the Trusted Servants who would to support the meeting. Assuring GROW’s guidelines are applied to the separate meeting is also problematic. It is to fill all TS positions now (we still have a vacant position), and the Secretary expressed concern about adding new positions.

It is also important for new members be responsible for finding what they need to have a healthy sobriety. While the women who commented were very receptive to and supported the idea of a Beginners Meeting, they also had many concerns about how such a meeting would be managed. We are voting yes/no in each subpart of Proposal 10 during the fourth 3-day session.


Results of Voting on Proposal 10.4

Discontinue “Available Online Sponsors” Webpage

Voting: Eleven (11) participants voted in favor (58%) and five (5) voted against Proposal 10.4a, meeting the requirement for a 2/3 majority. Therefore, the proposal is approved. The Chair called for those who voted against the proposal to submit a Minority Opinion. If, after hearing the minority opinion, any participant wants to change their vote, we will conduct a re-vote. Until we know the outcome of this phase of our process, the proposal does not become a formal Group Conscience Decision.

Results of Voting on Proposal 10.4b

Managing Information about Sponsors

Voting: Thirteen (13) participants voted in favor (87%), and three (3) voted against Proposal 10.4b, exceeding the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. The Chair called for those who voted against the proposal to submit a Minority Opinion. If, after hearing the minority opinion, any participant wants to change their vote, we will conduct a re-vote. Until we know the outcome of this phase of our process, the proposal does not become a formal Group Conscience Decision.

Results of Voting on Proposal 10.4c

Beginners’ Meeting

Voting: No participants voted in favor, and sixteen (16) voted against Proposal 10.4c, representing a unanimous decision not to establish a Beginners’ Meeting to run parallel with GROW’s email meeting. Therefore, the proposal fails and cannot be raised again for a year.


Group Conscience Decision:

none

1018 – Proposal 9: Monthly Step Meeting

Proposal 9: Monthly Step Meeting

Grow will allocate the first weekly meeting each month as a Step meeting. The Weekly Lead Listkeeper will identify the date of the first Sunday each month when asking for volunteer leads, naming the corresponding Step (eg, January = Step 1) as the topic for that week. Grow will continue to have a Tradition as a monthly topic, sent out by the Weekly Lead Listkeeper as per current Grow conscience/guidelines.

Recommended Language: Add a bullet to the Weekly Lead Listkeeper’s job description as follows:

Allocate the first meeting of each month to the corresponding Step by identifying the Step as the topic next to the date on the volunteer lead request message.

Rationale: It appears the Step/Tradition monthly topics are shared on much less than any weekly topics despite us having longer to do so.

From time to time (about 10 times over the last 4 years) we have seen a Step as a weekly topic. The number of shares was similar to weeks where the topic was self-selected by the lead – showing that by having the focus of a Step in the weekly meeting does encourage more sharing than our current monthly practice.

As our primary purpose reminds us, our job is to carry the message. Creating an opportunity for more reflection and sharing on the corresponding step each month can only add to our effectiveness as a group in sharing the program. Not to mention be of potential benefit to our own programs!

By agreeing which week would be the Step topic week in advance gives us the chance to nominate ourselves as weekly leaders for whichever week we like, knowing we are free to offer to lead the Step week or any of the other weeks where the topic is open for our own selection.

As is current for our conscience/guidelines should there be a weekly leader drop out or vacancy the Weekly Lead Listkeeper can send a message out to the group requesting a new volunteer for a specified date.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 9.3

Thirteen (13) participants commented on Proposal 9.3, and there was general support for having a Step Meeting each month. Many felt that this proposal addresses an area of concern that came out in responses to the Group Inventory. Comments fell into three substantive areas: whether the Step Meeting should be the first meeting of each month, whether it should also include the Tradition of the month, and assignment of the Meeting leader.

Most of the comments expressed the feeling that few people share in response to the Step/Tradition message each month and that having a dedicated topic meeting would bring more attention to these basic parts of the AA program. It would also be more helpful to newcomers to highlight the steps and traditions in this way.

There was concern that sharing on the Traditions would be lost if they are not included in the Step meeting topic and many participants wanted to include the Tradition of the month in the Step meeting. Participants agreed that it would not be difficult to get volunteers to lead the Step (/Tradition) meeting as part of the current process, although a few were concerned about reducing the opportunity to lead on a topic of choice or dictating a topic to meeting leaders.

Based on the comments, the Chair created two versions of the proposal for voting, asking participants to vote on only one of them. Proposal 9.4a was for a Step [only] meeting, and Proposal 9.4b was for a Step/Tradition meeting. During the fourth 3-day session, we will vote on Proposal 9.


Results of Voting on Proposal 9.4

Voting: Reflecting our discussions, participants were asked to vote on one of two versions of Proposal 9.4: (a) being only a Step Meeting and (b) being a Step/Tradition Meeting. Eleven participants voted in favor (58%) of Proposal 9.4b (Step/Tradition Meeting only), and eight (8) participants voted in favor (42%) of Proposal 9.4a (Step Meeting only). Neither option met the requirement for a 2/3 majority, and neither version is approved. Because participants overwhelmingly approved the proposal to set aside the first week of each month for a Step Meeting, it’s not appropriate to say the proposal can’t be raised for a year. Because voting was so close, more discussion is needed. Therefore, the proposal has been set aside to be considered again during the April 2019 meeting.


Group Conscience Decision:

none

1018 – Proposal 8: Group Inventory Follow-up

Proposal 8: Group Inventory Follow-up

GROW’s Steering Committee will review the comments made in response to the 2018 Group Inventory questions and, where appropriate, make recommendations for changes that would reflect the group’s feedback.

Rationale: Doing a group inventory is a positive and healthy effort. However, if all we do is record our members’ answers and then file the inventory away (on our website), we are not following through in the spirit of AA. We should assess our members’ comments and determine if action needs to be taken.

To make it relatively painless, Trusted Servants (individuals or teams) could volunteer to take one question and then, within a set amount of time (e.g., a month), send a note to the other TSs with their findings. At that point, we can ‘flag’ actions that call for a proposal at our next business meeting in April 2019. (Some actions may be simple enough not to require a Group Conscience process.)


Summary of Comments on Proposal 8

During the 3-day period, it was revealed that there were already instructions within the Group Inventory guidelines for the business meeting to take appropriate actions to address any issue raised in Group Inventory responses. Therefore, the proposal was withdrawn. Many of the proposals on our agenda already address these issues, and the review of responses was completed within 24 hours.


Results of Voting on Proposal 8

Withdrawn.


Group Conscience Decision:

none

1018 – Second 3-day Session Close

Close of Second 3-day Session

The second 3-day session of our October 2018 Business Meeting is closed. During this period, we voted on three proposals and discussed three new proposals.

Participants voted on:
Proposal 2.1 – Change the monthly FYI Letter
Proposal 3.2 – Add an anonymity statement to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter
Proposal 4.1 – Increase GROW’s contribution to oso-aa.org

Participants discussed:
Proposal 5.2 – Temporary Mentor & Newcomer Committee
Proposal 6.2 – Temporary Mentor & AA Resources
Proposal 7.2 – Abolish OIAA Representative Position

The Chair will distribute separate e-mails describing the voting results and summaries of discussions for each proposal.

During the third 3-day period, we will consider the Minority Opinion on Proposal 3.2a; vote on Proposals 5, 6, and 7; and discuss three new proposals:

Proposal 8.3 – Group Inventory Follow-up
Proposal 9.3 – GROW Step Meeting
Proposal 10.3 – Online Sponsors

Respectfully,
danna M
GROW Business Chair

Oct 07: Gratitude for GROW and A.A.

Gratitude for GROW and A.A.

For this week’s meeting, I wanted to express my gratitude for AA and this meeting in particular.When I first got sober, I joined three women’s groups online. I had heard meeting makers “make it” and since I wouldn’t be able to make a meeting every day, I wanted to find online meetings.

After some time, I dropped one that didn’t really seem to be focusing on the solution and good quality sobriety. That’s ok. Hopefully it works for other women.

And now, I’m ready to drop another for lack of participation. It’s a bummer but it is what it is. Maybe it’s time for me to find a new online group.

I just read somewhere that “Gratitude is nothing more than a decision to look at problems with a fresh perspective.”

AA has been the best thing that’s happened in my life. Aside from my husband and two girls. I don’t attend the same meetings face to face as I did when I first got sober. Some I have outgrow and then when I moved I wanted to find new ones more convenient to my home and my new schedule.

The problem or challenge I’m facing is lack of participation. But I didn’t want to focus too long on that. Instead I realized just how grateful I am to Grow.

I share that I can’t stay sober on my own. I don’t want to try. But as a working married mother of two, I rely on online A.A. to supplement my face to face meetings.

I’m grateful that this group here at grow is so solid. Such great sobriety. So many women truly living in the solution and willing to share their esh with the group. I’m also grateful to those that share off topic when they need to do so. I know I have. And in doing so, someone has always reached out personally sharing their own experience, strength and hope.

I hope we all continue to do so. My life is so good as a result of working this program of recovery.

Gratitude is an action and I want to share it with you and everyone I come into contact with.

My sponsor has me saved in her phone as grateful Julie. I don’t ever want to go back to how it was being so flipping ungrateful.

Trusted Servants 10/2018

Trusted Servants

  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Danna M. email
  • Birthday Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Sophie email
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Cheryl B. email

Trusted Servants who make up the Steering Committee:

  • Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): Joan B. email
  • GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M. email
  • GVR (10/18-10/19): Barbara M. email
  • Greeter (4/18-4/19): Gigi D. email
  • Greeter (4/18-4/19): Laurie B. email
  • Listkeeper (4/8-4/19): Nancy C. email
  • Listkeeper Alternate* (4/18-4/20): Karen H. email
  • OIAA Rep (10/18-10/20): Laura G. email
  • Secretary (10/18-10/19): Ruth F. email
  • Temporary Mentor (4/18-4/19): Louise email
  • Treasurer (10/17-10/19): Sue W. email
  • Webkeeper (non-rotating position): Tanya C. email
  • Webkeeper Backup (10/18-10/20): Allison M email
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (4/18-4/19): Amanda D. email
  • Immediate Past Business Meeting Chair: Danna M. email
  • Immediate Past GSR: Joan B. email
  • Immediate past OIAA: Jenny P email
  • Immediate Past Secretary: Karrie C. email

1018 – First 3-day Session Minutes

Minutes of First 3-day Session

During the first 3-day session, participants discussed the first three of nine proposals. These proposals addressed:

  • A minor edit to the FYI Letter sent out each month by the Secretary.
  • Adding a sentence to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter to emphasize AA’s principle of anonymity.
  • An increase to the monthly contribution GROW makes to oso-aa.org, the server that supports both our e-mail meeting and our website.

Proposal 2.1 – FYI Letter Change

Five people commented on the proposal to delete “d. Website Information” from the table of contents of the FYI letter, all agreeing with it. We will vote on Proposal 2.1 in the next 3-day period. This change was based on the fact that no website information currently appears in the letter. Website information is included in the Listkeeper Letter. During the second 3-day session, participants will vote on whether to adopt the proposal as a Group Conscience Decision.

Proposal 3.1 – “Let It Stay Here” addition to Weekly Meeting Format Letter

Twelve (12) particiants commented on the proposal to add a sentence to emphasize AA’s anonymity principle to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter. The sentence “Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here” between the Preamble and “How It Works.” A couple of participants felt the new language was not necessary. One person raised the question of whether we should enforce this principle if a member violated it. No one responded to this query.

Two participants suggested changes to the wording of the insert, and those who commented expressed approval of the changes. Therefore, the Chair incorporated these two changes into a revised Proposal 3.2a upon which we will vote in the second 3-day session. The first would change the word “hear” to “read” to reflect the online nature of our meeting. The second would clarify what we mean by “anonymity” with an additional sentence: “(Anonymity refers to personal information and personal issues – not the message of recovery.)”

When it was revealed that The Weekly Meeting Format Letter already contains a similar sentence (penultimate paragraph of the format), participants generally felt the same message should not appear in the letter twice. Therefore, the Chair prepared a second version of the proposal upon which we will also vote in the second 3-day session. Proposal 3.2b would delete the current penultimate paragraph (“Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.”

Proposal 4.1 – Increase Contribution to oso-aa.org

Eight (8) participants commented on the proposal. While there were some questions, in the end there was consensus supporting the proposal. In the next 3-day period, we will vote on the proposal as presented during the second 3-day session.

Respectfully,
danna M
GROW Business Chair

1018 – Proposal 7: Abolish OIAA Rep

Proposal 7: Abolish OIAA Representative Position

Abolish the Trusted Servant position of OIAA Representative and discontinue GROW’s participation in that group.

Rationale: The October 2018 OIAA Report reveals that OIAA continues to struggle with funds and internal conflict. Several of our past OIAA Reps have described meetings dominated by conflict, and GROW has long debated whether to continue participating.

In 2003, we considered leaving OIAA. In 2004, we decreased the amount of our contributions to OIAA. In 2008, we discussed withdrawing our Rep from OIAA and eliminating the position. In 2009, the OIAA Rep recommended continuing to contribute to OIAA but withdrawing our Rep from OIAA meetings. As a group, we decided against this. In 2009, after OIAA failed to cash two contribution checks, we decided to stop our contributions completely. In 2016, we again debated whether we should send a Rep to the meetings and whether we should eliminate the TS position. In 2017, we considered a formal proposal to discontinue our participation and eliminate the position; however, we decided to give it one more year before taking this action.

Our OIAA Rep’s Report confirms that OIAA is still plagued by the problems we’ve talked about since 2003. This time, their Treasurer absconded with OIAA’s funds. Meetings are still concerned more with personalities than with AA’s principles. Given this history, it doesn’t seem likely to improve.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 7.3

Thirteen (13) women commented on the proposal to abolish the Trusted Servant position of OIAA Representative. Comments both supported and opposed the proposal, and many participants asked questions about the impacts of withdrawing our representative from OIAA.

Supporting the proposal, several women who had held the OIAA Rep position confirmed that their experience had been one of frustration with OIAA’s lack of organization and contentious meetings. OIAA Rep resigned her position and welcomed any replacement who could overlook the chaos and confusion in OIAA that we have experienced for 15 years.

Many participants agreed with withdrawing from OIAA with a few caveats:

  • that GROW would continue to be listed on the OIAA website. (Note: groups do not have to participate in OIAA to be listed on their website.)
  • that GROW would explain why it is leaving OIAA to the entire membership of our meeting.
  • that individual GROW members would continue to have access to the OIAA website.

Several women felt that GROW’s participation in OIAA is important for a variety of reasons that include:

  • The importance of OIAA to AA as a whole, especially because there GSO does not recognize OIAA/online groups at General Service Conferences – when OIAA is finally recognized by GSO, GROW might be able to send a delegate to such conferences.
  • OIAA’s apparent success as the first point of contact for people new to recovery and to online AA. (One member pointed out that she found GROW on OIAA’s website.)
  • The importance of the principle of discussion and debate in reaching decisions affecting AA as a whole and online AA in this specific case.
  • Not basing our participation in OIAA on how our OIAA Rep chooses to do her job – some of GROW’s OIAA Reps have liked their interaction with OIAA and have gone on to do service with them. GROW members have enjoyed GROW’s hosting the OIAA Suite during International AA Conferences.
  • OIAA’s relative improvement over time related to the frequency and volume of “flaming” emails.

A couple of participants asked about the OIAA Rep position in relation to GROW’s GSR who also serves as a contact with the larger AA organization. (The Chair points out that all references to OIAA were removed from the GSR job description in an April 2018 Group Conscience decision. Unfortunately, the changes to job titles and descriptions have not yet been made on GROW’s website.)


Results of Voting on Proposal 7.3

Voting: Ten (10) participants voted in favor (56%), and eight (8) voted against Proposal 7.3. We did not meet the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal. Given that this proposal has been discussed before recently with the same outcome, the Chair will not ask for the Minority Opinion.

Proposal 7.3 is therefore set aside and cannot be revisited for one year.


Group Conscience Decision:

none

1018 – Proposal 6: Temporary Mentor

Proposal 6: Temporary Mentor & AA Resources

Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them. She will also include the recommended language in Temporary Mentor Letter #1.

Rationale: Many of our members who have not been to f2f meetings and are new to our program are not aware of the many resources available to them (especially when people are not.) This is to inform / remind our members that there are real-time meetings, literature for downloading, and audio stories available at all times of the day and night.

Recommended Language:

Add a bullet to the Temporary Mentor job description as follows:

  • Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them.

Insert the following as a new third paragraph in Temporary Mentor Letter #1:

Just a reminder that you can learn more about AA by visiting one of these links:

  • the Alcoholics Anonymous general services office and information such as “The AA Big Book and 12 & 12, along with many pamphlets as well as links to local resources for AA.
  • AA’s Online Intergroup (OIAA) where you can find meeting lists as wekk as real-time phone and other Internet types of meetings.
  • AA’s Grapevine magazine with stories and audio stories and Grapevine subscription options.
  • Each month, include the same language in an open message to the GROW mailing list.

Summary of Comments on Proposal 6.3

Six (6) participants commented on the proposal for the Temporary Mentor to send links to AA resources (AA, OIAA, Grapevine) to newcomers and to send these links to the larger GROW group each month as a reminder. Comments were generally positive, although some offered additional resources (like AA’s GSO and AA-approved literature like the Big Book, 12×12, and Living Sober). As with Proposal 5.2, a couple of participants cautioned against overwhelming people with too much information at one time, suggesting more packets of information would be more effective.

During the third 3-day session, we will vote on the proposal as presented.


Results of Voting on Proposal 6.3

Voting: Nineteen (19) participants voted in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 6.3. Therefore, the proposal meets our requirement for a 2/3 majority is adopted as a Group Conscience Decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them. She will also include the recommended language in Temporary Mentor Letter #1.

1018 – Proposal 5: Newcomer Committee

Proposal 5: Newcomer Committee

To expand on the Temporary Mentor by establishing a Newcomer committee, as the Sponsorship pamphlet suggests some groups do. That committee could be rapid-response for new members much as the OIAA link for “Get Help Now” is. The only requirement could be much less sober time, giving our newer members an opportunity to share their experience, strength and hope.

This committee could have a list of online resources including the AA website, the Grapevine website, the OIAA web site with its links to online meetings including realtime, perhaps even speaker links such as Joe & Charlie on YouTube and other immediate resources for a suffering newcomer. It could be a group of volunteers who are able to respond within hours, as the listkeepers do. My thought is that the Temporary Mentor could lead 2-3 other women who would not hold Trusted Servant positions, like the 12th Step Volunteers.

I suggest that anyone volunteering for this list could be given the list of resources we suggest and become familiar with them before agreeing to take this on. Cruise through the AA, OIAA and Grapevine websites, use them themselves a bit. They do not need to be willing to sponsor.

Rationale: My concern is that all the support that we more-experienced online AAs know about is not known to a newcomer. Yes, a Facebook group could have addressed this, but our anonymity was so much more easily at risk. We can do this “in house” with a small group. This differs from the 12th Steppers in that many of these new members do not get as far as writing to the main list. They are sharing with the Temporary Mentor. Some have had no luck with responses to emails sent to potential sponsors. Others have been challenged to find a resource to help them locally.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 5.2

Eight (8) participants commented on Proposal 5.2 creating a Newcomer Committee to support the Temporary Mentor.

The Trusted Servants who jointly proposed the creation of a Newcomer Committee explained their reasoning as to why it was important and how the committee would operate. Our current Temporary Mentor shared her experience with a portion of newcomers who have tried without success to get a sponsor based on our “Available Online Sponsor” webpage, reporting their queries were not answered timely or at all. Given that some newcomers need a lot of guidance and support, the Temporary Mentor sometimes finds the position overwhelming and could use the support of women who themselves are new to AA’s program in answering questions and supporting women brand new to sobriety.

The committee would be informal, something like the 12th Step List, with members who volunteer and are not Trusted Servants. This gives women with less sober time the opportunity to be of service while also building a strong foundation for their own recovery. The Temporary Mentor would lead the group.

Most of the women who commented on this proposal supported the idea and appreciated the explanations given by the current and immediate past Temporary Mentor. One member suggested that there should be a requirement for a minimum of three months to be on the committee. Others cautioned against overwhelming our new members with too much information too soon.

In the third 3-day session, we will vote on Proposal 5.3 as presented.


Results of Voting on Proposal 5.3

Voting: Sixteen (16) participants voted in favor (80%), and four (4) voted against Proposal 5.3. Therefore, the proposal meets our requirement for a 2/3 majority is adopted as a Group Conscience Decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

To expand on the Temporary Mentor by establishing a Newcomer Committee, as the Sponsorship pamphlet suggests some groups do. That committee could be rapid-response for new members much as the OIAA link for “Get Help Now” is. The only requirement could be much less sober time, giving our newer members an opportunity to share their experience, strength and hope.

1018 – First 3-Day Session Close

Close of 1st 3-Day Session

The first 3-day session of the October 2018 meeting has closed. Participants commented on three proposals. A summary of comments will follow for each of these proposals.

Proposal 2.1 – FYI Letter Change
Proposal 3.1 – “Let It Stay Here”
Proposal 4.1 – oso-aa.org Contribution

In order to facilitate closure on Proposal 3.1, the Chair is presenting two versions for voting. The first version (3.2a) presents the original proposal, modified to reflect changes suggested by participants. The second version (3.2b) adds deletion of the existing “Anonymity Statement” which is the penultimate paragraph of the current Weekly Meeting Format Letter.

During the second 3-day session, we will vote on the above proposals and open discussions on three new proposals:

Proposal 5.2 – Temporary Mentor & Newcomer Committee
Proposal 6.2 – Temporary Mentor & AA Resources
Proposal 7.2 – Abolish OIAA Representative Position

The second 3-day session will end on Saturday, October 6. On Sunday (10/7), the Chair will announce the results of voting and summarize comments on the three new proposals.

If you have questions or comments on the process, please contact me at dmcd.grow@gmail.com. Now, prepare yourself for a string of individual e-mail messages!!!

Respectfully,
danna M
GROW Business Chair

1018 – Proposal 4: Contribution to oso-aa.org

Proposal 4: Contribution to oso-aa.org

Increase the monthly contribution to Dean Collins (oso-aa.org) to reimburse him for any time and effort to support GROW’s website, particularly the new website WordPress configuration. Double the current contribution from $12 per month ($72 for six months) to $24 ($144 for six months).

Rationale: Dean provides servers to AA groups without charging anything, and he provides technical support. Many groups make donations to help defray costs, including labor. An increase will help Dean with expenses and show our gratitude for his support over the years.

Recommended language: Change the sub-bullet in the Treasurer’s job description to reflect the increase:

$12.00 $24.00 monthly to OSO-AA (PayPal: dean.collins@insightplanners.com) (6 months expenses)


Summary of Comments on Proposal 4.1

Eight (8) participants commented on the proposal. While there were some questions, in the end there was consensus supporting the proposal. In the next 3-day period, we will vote on the proposal as presented.


Results of Voting on Proposal 4.1

Eighteen (18) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 4.1. Therefore, it is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Increase the monthly contribution to Dean Collins (oso-aa.org) to reimburse him for any time and effort to support GROW’s website, particularly the new website WordPress configuration. Double the current contribution from $12 per month ($72 for six months) to $24 ($144 for six months).

1018 – Proposal 3: “Let it Stay Here”

Proposal 3

Add the reminder to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter (between the Preamble and “How It Works”) to emphasize the principle of anonymity in our meetings: “Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.”

Rationale: In f2f meetings, we respect the principle of anonymity and giving people the space to share without fear. Although it will never be perfect the familiar AA saying helps remind us of the spirit of honoring a share without repeating it. In the Group Inventory, it was noted that a person had mentioned taking pieces from shares and repeating them at other meetings. Whilst they said they omitted the name, it is still a form of repeating another person’s share elsewhere.

Recommended Language: Insert the following sentence as a separate stand-alone paragraph between the Preamble and “How It Works” in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter:

“Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.”


Summary of Comments on Proposal 3.1

Twelve participants generated 17 comments, most of them supporting the proposal. A couple of participants felt the new language was not necessary.  One person raised the question of whether we should enforce this principle if a member violated it. No one responded to this query.

Two participants suggested changes to the wording of the insert, and those who commented expressed approval of the changes. The first was to change “what you hear here” to “what you read here” since this is an online format. The Chair has revised the proposal to reflect this change.  A second change would insert clarification of what “anonymity” means (“Anonymity refers to personal information and personal issues – not the message of recovery.”). The Chair has added this sentence to the recommended language in the revised proposal. Proposal 3.2a will include only these changes.

When it was revealed that The Weekly Meeting Format Letter already contains a similar sentence (penultimate paragraph of the format), several people felt the sentence shouldn’t appear twice. The Chair has therefore added as part of the Group Conscience decision deleting the existing penultimate paragraph (“Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.” Proposal 3.2b will also include this change.

We will vote on two versions of Proposal 3 in the next three days. Proposal 3.2a incorporates the two suggested editing changes. Proposal 3.2b adds deleting the existing “Let It Stay Here” message from the end of the current Meeting Leader Format Letter.


Results of Voting on Proposal 3.2a

In response to comments, the Chair presented two versions of the proposal. The first version (3.2a) reflected suggested edits to the recommended language that met with general approval. The second version (3.2b) contained the suggested edits as well as the deletion of a similar line (the penultimate paragraph) of the current Weekly Meeting Format Letter. Please see the full text of version 3.2a at the end of this message.

Participants were asked to vote on one of the two versions (indicating an automatic “I disagree” vote for the other version).

Four (4) participants voted in favor (25%), and 12 voted against Proposal 3.2a. Therefore, the proposal did not meet the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal.

Please see the results of voting on version 3.2b for next steps (Minority Opinion).

Full Text of Proposal 3.2a
Proposal 3.2a: Add the reminder to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter (between the Preamble and “How It Works”) to emphasize the principle of anonymity in our meetings: “Who you see here, what you read here, when you leave here, let it stay here.”

Recommended Language:
“Who you see here, what you read here, when you leave here, let it stay here.” (Anonymity refers to personal information and personal issues – not the message of recovery.)


Results of Voting on Proposal 3.2b

In response to comments, the Chair presented two versions of the proposal. The first version (3.2a) reflected suggested edits to the recommended language that met with general approval. The second version (3.2b) contained the suggested edits as well as the deletion of a similar line (the penultimate paragraph) of the current Weekly Meeting Format Letter. Participants were asked to vote on one of the two versions (indicating an automatic “I disagree” vote for the other version). See the full text of Proposal 3.2b at the end of this message.

Twelve (12) participants voted in favor (75%), and four (4) voted against Proposal 3.2b. Therefore, Proposal 3.2b met the requirement for a 2/3 majority vote in favor of the proposal.

Our Business Meeting Guidelines allow three days for the minority opinion to be presented and discussed. If, after hearing the minority opinion, any participant wants to change their vote from “I disagree” to “I agree” on Proposal 3.2b, we will conduct a second vote.

At this time, I request each of those who voted “I agree” on Proposal 3.2a to send me a private note letting me know if they plan to post a minority opinion.

After considering the Minority Opinion, if any participant wants to change their vote from “I disagree” to “I agree” on Proposal 3.2b, we will conduct a second vote. If the minority does not want to express their opinion, we will close this discussion, and the vote will stand.

Full Text of Proposal 3.2b:
Proposal 3.2b: Add the reminder to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter (between the Preamble and “How It Works”) to emphasize the principle of anonymity in our meetings: “Who you see here, what you read here, when you leave here, let it stay here.”

Recommended Language:

  1. Insert the following sentences as a separate stand-alone paragraph between the Preamble and “How It Works” in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter:
    “Who you see here, what you read here, when you leave here, let it stay here.” (Anonymity refers to personal information and personal issues – not the message of recovery.)
  2. Delete the penultimate paragraph of the existing Weekly Meeting Format Letter which currently reads: “Anonymity Statement: Please remember that “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” What you hear here and who you “see” here, let it stay here.”

Discussion following Minority Opinion

Participants voted to approve Proposal 3.2b (adding the following between the Preamble and “How it Works” of the Weekly Meeting Format Letter). The proposal as approved also deleted the Anonymity Statement from the bottom of the Weekly Meeting Format Letter. The Minority Opinion argued that the Anonymity Statement should not be deleted, and several women changed their vote as a result. It was pointed out that the Anonymity Statement duplicates Tradition 12 (which is above the topic section). So, deleting only part of the Anonymity Statement is inconsistent. We will take a re-vote, addressing only the deletion of the Anonymity Statement, on Proposal 3.5 during the fifth 3-day period of our meeting.


Results of Re-vote on Proposal 3.5

Two (2) participants voted in favor, and 13 voted against (87%) Proposal 3.5 (which was limited to deleting the Anonymity Statement from the bottom of the Weekly Meeting Format Letter). The vote exceeds the requirement for a 2/3 majority, so this part of Proposal 3 fails.

Therefore, the existing Anonymity Statement in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter will not be deleted.


Group Conscience Decision:

The existing Anonymity Statement in the Weekly Meeting Format Letter will not be deleted.

1018 – Proposal 2: Change FYI Letter

Proposal 2: Change FYI Letter

Delete item d. (Web Page Information) in the GROW FYI CONTENTS section of the FYI Letter sent out by the Secretary each month.

Rationale: Currently, the bullet is in the contents, but no such information is provided in the body of the text.


Summary of Comments on Proposal 2.1

Five people commented on the proposal, all agreeing with it. We will vote on Proposal 2.1 in the next 3-day period.


Results of Voting on Proposal 2.1

Voting: Fifteen (15) participants in favor, and no one voted against Proposal 2.1. Therefore, Proposal 2 is adopted as a Group Conscience decision.


Group Conscience Decision:

Delete item d. (Web Page Information) in the GROW FYI CONTENTS section of the FYI Letter sent out by the Secretary each month.

1018 – Treasurer’s Report

Oct 2018 – Treasurer’s Report

Donations
$142.07 Bal from April 2018
$214.65 PayPal donations
$160.03 Ally Bk check donations
$516.85 Total Donations

Distributions
TBD GSO*
TBD Dean Collin/oso.aa.org*
$0 Grapevine
$0.90 International Exchange
$122.00 Prudent Reserve
TBD Total Distributions

TBD Balance

*A proposal is being considered that would change the amount paid to oso-aa.org, which would affect the amount distributed to GSO.

Respectfully,
Sue W.
Treasurer

1018 – Secretary’s Report

Oct 2018 – Secretary’s Report

Outgoing Trusted Servants

  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (4/18-10/18): Cara A. (caracadams@gmail.com)
  • Birthday Listkeeper (4/18-10/18): Kristen (pequenogato2@gmail.com)
  • Business Meeting Chair (10/16-10/18)): Danna M. (dmcd9999@zoho.com)
  • GSR (10/16-10/18): Joan B. (joanb333@gmail.com)
  • GVR (10/17-10/18): Sophie (sophieflook@gmail.com)
  • OIAA Representative (‪10/17 – 10/18)): Jenny P (jsaufler@gmail.com)
  • Secretary (10/17-10/18): Karrie C. (kchaneycoo@gmail.com)
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (4/18-10/18): Susan P. (susan.poplawski@gmail.com)
  • Webkeeper Backup (10/16-10/18): Cheryl D. (cdematt@gmail.com)

Incoming Trusted Servants

  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (10/18-4/18): Danna M (dmcd9999@zoho.com)
  • Birthday Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Sophie F (sophieflook@gmail.com)
  • Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): VACANT
  • GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M (ammakate@yahoo.com)
  • GVR (10/18-10/19): Barbara M (barbaramanolache@aol.com)
  • OIAA Representative (10/18-10/19): Laura Graham (grahamlaura1989@gmail.com)
  • Secretary (10/18-10/19): Ruth Flemming (serenity9918@gmail.com)
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Cheryl Baughman (cab7thtradition@gmail.com)
  • Webkeeper Backup (10/18-10/20): Allison McGuigan (paonia.allison@gmail.com)

Current Trusted Servants as of October 2018

Our Trusted Servants:

  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Danna M. (dmcd9999@zoho.com)
  • Birthday Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Sophie (sophieflook@gmail.com)
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (10/18-4/19): Cheryl B. (cab7thtradition@gmail.com)

Trusted Servants who make up the Steering Committee:

  • Business Meeting Chair (10/18-10/20): VACANT
  • GSR (10/18-10/20): Kate M. (ammakate@yahoo.com)
  • GVR (10/18-10/19): Barbara M. (barbaramanolache@aol.com)
  • Greeter (4/18-4/19): Gigi (telperion.1214@gmail.com)
  • Greeter (4/18-4/19): Laurie B. (rubylaurie@gmail.com)
  • Listkeeper (4/18-4/19): Nancy (cybergram@eastlink.ca)
  • Listkeeper Alternate (4/18-4/20): Karen (fromie10@gmail.com)
  • OIAA Rep (10/18-10/20): Laura G. (grahamlaura1989@gmail.com)
  • Secretary (10/18-10/19): Ruth F. (serenity9918@gmail.com)
  • Temporary Mentor (4/18-4/19): Louise (wemerrilymeet@gmail.com)
  • Treasurer (10/17-10/19): Sue W. (scwills502@gmail.com)
  • Webkeeper (non-rotating): Tanya C. (Tanyaq42@gmail.com)
  • Webkeeper Backup (10/18-10/20): Allison M (paonia.allison@gmail.com
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (4/18-4/19): Amanda D. (amandabauman26@icloud.com)
  • Immediate Past Business Meeting Chair: Danna M. (dmcd9999@zoho.com)
  • Immediate Past GSR: Joan B. (joanb333@gmail.com)
  • Immediate past OIAA: Jenny P (jsaufler@gmail.com)
  • Immediate Past Secretary: Karrie C. (kchaneycoo@gmail.com)

1018 – OIAA Representative Report

Oct 2018 – OIAA Representative Report

Hi, I’m Jenny, an alcoholic and your group representative at the Online Intergroup of Alcoholics Anonymous.

OIAA is the global intergroup for online meetings of all kinds. Members are from all over the world and they provide the first line of communication for people seeking help/info/meeting information via the web. There is a very active 12th step committee; for every request for help they receive, over three responses are sent to the individual questioner.

Most members, including GROW, participate in the monthly role call by saying a little about their online meeting such as format, number of members, etc. Participation throughout the month is spotty and often includes a lot of cross talk. The last 6 months of meetings have been difficult for me to “attend” simply because there is so much frustration being vented.

Sometime before April, the previous treasurer absconded with the treasury (approx. $3,000). As a result, funds are low and tensions are high. Incoming funds are low, willing servants are hard to find, and some of the “old timers” are angry about it (and not afraid to say so). Part of the frustration is that without participation, OIAA may cease to exist. Full disclosure: I do not hold a service position at OIAA.

There is a monthly topic meeting (Tradition and concept) which while somewhat educational and informative still has all the above issues.

Thank you for letting me be of service.

Jenny P.
OIAA Representative

1018 – Listkeepers’ Report

Oct 2018 – Listkeepers’ Report

Our membership as of September 27, 2018 is 364. Regular list members 323 and 41 Digest members (this number is always a little larger than our actual count because some members have two subscriptions – one for regular posts and one for digests and some members have two regular list addresses).

This time last year we had 319 members. We are GROWING!

Karen and I have been working together for a few years in various capacities and have a great working relationship!

Our Greeters, Laurie and Gigi are doing an excellent job and we all enjoy working together!

Respectfully submitted,
Karen H and Nancy C
GROW Listkeepers

1018 – GVR Report

Oct 2018 – GVR Report

I have been Grapevine Rep (GVR) for 12 months. Each month I’ve sent out one email containing the Grapevine topic for the month and various other AA/Grapevine announcements.

At the last Business Meeting we agreed that the Grapevine topic could be better highlighted and this does seem to have encouraged more sharing from Grow members on the monthly topic.

I always copied and pasted an article related to the topic in full at the end of my GVR email. This is permitted by Grapevine as it’s us sharing it with our group. Feedback seems to show that Grow members appreciate having the story there in full to read.

I have always felt some of the Grapevine announcements get a bit lost in the monthly topic meeting email, and it was my intention to send out a second email just for these; however, I didn’t but I’ve passed that on as an idea in my handover of the service position to the incoming GVR.

I also discovered towards the end of my term that there is a handbook or set of guidelines available to GVRs. It is on the Grapevine website and I’ve emailed a link to it for the incoming GVR. I found it really useful to read about the history of the magazine, the format, how it carries the message and how it’s a recovery tool and the explanations as to why things are in it, I definitely recommend we continue to inform future GVRs that these guidelines are there.

Final thought… there’s a lot of audio available through the Grapevine website! Worth checking out if you have a subscription.

Thanks for letting me serve as GVR.

In love and service
Sophie

1018 – GSR Report

Oct 2018 – GSR Report

The current issue of Box 459, Summer 2018, has some touching articles and some informative articles.

The cover article tells the story of getting the Big Book translated into Navajo, which is an oral language.  Many dedicated people kept the project going for years to insure an accurate translation in the native language.   It’s an inspiring read.

There is information on openings for Trustees, an informative piece about myths and misconceptions concerning outside interests in AA, medical, judicial, treatment.  The General Service conference is summarized with recommendations put forward there.

There are 2 requests from AA members to share for the development of 2 new pamphlets, one for Spanish speaking women and one for experience concerning the 3 legacies of recovery, service and unity.

As always there is a list of AA functions, mostly in the US, but a few outside as well.

Box 459 is available online at
https://www.aa.org/newsletters/en_US/en_box459_summer_2018.pdf

Joan B.
GSR

1018 – Mini Steering Committee Report

Oct 2018 Mini Steering Committee Report

The “mini” Steering Committee (Chair, Secretary, and Listkeepers) dealt with two incidents in the last six months. Both of them involved differences of opinion between two members and were settled quickly. Neither incident was directly related to GROW operations or AA traditions.

Respectfully submitted,
danna M
GROW Business Meeting Chair
dmcd.grow@gmail.com

2018 Group Inventory Responses

2018 Group Inventory – Responses to Questions

  1. What is the basic purpose of the group?
  2. What more can the group do to carry the message?
  3. Do new members stick with us, or does the turnover seem excessive?
  4. Do we emphasize the importance of sponsorship? How effectively? How can we do better?
  5. Are we careful to preserve the anonymity of our group members and other A.A.’s outside the meeting rooms? Do we leave the confidences they share at meetings behind?
  6. What more can the group do to carry the message?
  7. Are all members given the opportunity to speak at meetings and to participate in other group activities?
  8. Are we mindful that holding office is a great responsibility not to be viewed as the outcome of a popularity contest, are we choosing our officers with care?
  9. Does the group do its fair share toward participating in the purpose of A.A. – as it relates to our “Three Legacies” of Recovery, Unity and Service?
  10. As a group, do we remain informed about AA as a whole? Do we support, in every way we can AA as a whole or just the parts we understand and approve of?
  11. Are we considerate of all our members?
  12. As a group, have we done a thorough and fearless inventory, or have we missed an important element?

Question 1. What is the basic purpose of the group?

  • To carry the AA msg & support other women in recovery.
  • As we are an A.A. group I find our basic purpose to be to carry the message of AA.
  • To share our hope, strength and experience of the AA program, to show those still suffering that there is a way out.
  • The basic purpose of this group is to provide a safe place online for women who are alcoholics to find strength, support, and hope, and grow their program.
  • To spread the message to the still-suffering alcoholic.
  • To provide support to AA members, an alternative to face to face meetings that may be tough to get to for whatever reason/or in addition to f2f meetings, to share experience, strength and hope.
  • To carry the AA message and help women recover and live sober lives!
  • To stay sober and to help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. To provide an alternative or supplement to attending f2f meetings.
  • to carry the message to other (women) alcoholics – new and old
  • To maintain our sobriety and to help others alcoholics achieve sobriety. To make this possible via the internet to reach out to recovering alcoholics and to newcomers. To make AA available to those who can attend f2f meetings, but also to those who are shut-ins for a variety of reasons.
  • To stay sober
  • To carry the message in the spirit of the traditions
  • Our basic purpose is to spread the message of AA to those who seek it. To provide support and daily interaction through our AA program/lifeline.
  • The purpose of the group for me is help each other achieve sobriety.
  • To help other alcoholics to get and to stay sober.
  • GROW provides an online ‘venue’ for an AA meeting and general support amongst AA members. I’ve observed this to be a home group for some or a supplementary group for others that already attend f2f meeting.
  • The basic purpose of GROW is to help women recover from alcoholism by carrying the message of hope in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
  • The purpose of the group is to carry the message of recovery in AA, using the 12 steps and adhering to the 12 traditions.
  • I believe the basic purpose is to help the new sober female in her sober journey. As well as support all members with varying degrees of sobriety.

Question 2. What more can the group do to carry the message?

  • Since we are a program of attraction rather than promotion, I don’t see what more we can do except be listed as an online AA group.
  • I think inquires are answered promptly and new members are welcomed.
  • Follow up with newcomers, if they aren’t sharing with the group or disappear for a period of time.
  • I like the 12th step list that we have, and the welcome for new members.
  • These are good beginnings in providing a foundation to carry the message.
  • When I was new to AA and attended my first few f2f meetings I was approached by women after the meeting and we exchanged telephone numbers. One of those women rang me every few days to see how I was, to find out how I was getting on with the meetings I’d been getting to. She suggested other meetings to try and generally helped me through those early weeks, introducing me to other women or giving me the name of someone at a meeting to look out for.
  • When I meet a new woman in a f2f meeting this is what I do, or try to do. If they’re new to the meeting or new to AA or new to the area I still do this. If I’d been left to find my own way I’m not sure I would have made it.
  • I wonder if there’s something in this that could be translated into our online meeting environment? As a way to help carry the message?
  • The other idea I have relates to us as a group emailing some of our sharing to Grapevine. They are keen to hear about any aspect of recovery and sobriety and I’ve often thought that as we are perhaps more used to sharing in writing we would be in a positive position to carry the AA message through Grapevine. It would be up to individual group members but perhaps the GVR could highlight specific topics that Grapevine are looking for contributions on, or reminders that shares on Steps or Traditions or birthday shares are always useful and welcome. It’s not just about getting them published in the printed magazine, there’s a lot of articles that are just published on the GV website.
  • Members could carry the message more by sharing it with their physicians, therapists, and in their face to face meetings.However, I would fear that if the group became too large we would have an issue.
  • Encourage more members to participate in share in our topics and volunteering.
  • Possibly send out a big book excerpt mid week to the group – maybe one that matches the topic of the week – so everyone could read it quick on an email. If things get sent to me instead of me taking it upon myself to find it, I am more apt to read it :)-I think we do a great job here at Grow. There are many members who share their ESH and believe the regular meeting, monthly step and tradition as well as Grapevine meeting, I think we are all carrying the message.
  • I think we are doing a good job. We are easy enough to find on aa-intergroup.org, and it sounds like we get some friends-of-friends referrals.  We remain rooted in the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of AA, which keeps us on the right path.
  • word of mouth – if I meet a woman in a meeting who doesn’t have access to f2f meetings or who might go travelling I usually share with her about grow
  • I can’t think of anything. Changes have been made in the past to enchance GROW (i.e, adding the Grapevine topic) and some are in the works (updating the GROW site to a new software).
  • To carry the 12 step message
  • I love talking about the traditions and am wondering if there is a way to invite people to share on them in a different way. We don’t have a lot of women posting on the tradition/step of the month. Could they be sent out separately with a piece of text from the 12×12 to get people started?
  • I believe we are doing all we can according to the Big Book. We are here for those who seek sobriety.
  • I like the Sunday meeting. Perhaps suggestions on the literature related to the topic.
  • GROW is doing many things right by me. What more can it do? No suggestions.
  • I don’t have suggestions as I feel GROW does a wonderful job now.
  • We can make sure that we stay visible, especially in the online world of AA. We can also spread the word individually in our f2f groups by sharing about it in groups as a whole and with individuals who might find benefit from our group.
  • Be a giving example to people we meet in the community.
  • Pray for those in the rooms and out of the rooms.

Question 3. Do new members stick with us, or does the turnover seem excessive?

  • Hard to tell, as a newcomer myself!
  • I often wonder what happens to all the new women that we welcome! Only a very small number seem to share in the weekly topic meetings.
  • I remember when I joined I had a lot of correspondence with a Greeter. She answered all my questions and was encouraging and welcoming. I kept in touch with her quite frequently in my first few weeks as a member here, but I wasn’t new to AA so I had experience of how groups and meetings work, of what the program is and isn’t.
  • I guess at the moment it’s up to us as individuals to reach out to members we might not have heard share for a while or to newcomers we’ve greeted /welcomed or exchanged messages with but how do we know if this is happening?
  • The 12th step list is a way of carrying the message to those sharing but what about those who don’t share? In a f2f meeting we’d see the ones who come late, sit at the back, leave early etc.
  • Is there a way of having some kind of temporary sponsor or buddy available?
  • Interested to see what others share on this question.
  • I think the turnover seems normal. We see the same in face to face groups, as well as other online groups. Social media is one of those things where people pop in and out of; we’re such a transient society as it is, sadly.
  • turnover does not seem excessive
  • I am a newcomer and from what I have seen it does not seem excessive. I am not sure how many members we have but I don’t see a lot of people asking to be taken off the mailing list… not sure that I would see them all anyway
  • I think we have had a good run lately of people sticking! I hope that continues! 🙂
  • I doubt we have more turnover than most f2f groups. Some newcomers may think that they will stay sober by reading emails and will learn that it doesn’t work any better than just showing up to a meeting and not accepting the help that is offered to them there.   I think we do a good job of welcoming our new members in and inviting them to participate.
  • I wouldn’t know about numbers for turn over – I only see emails that are sent to the entire group which request to remove from the list – not sure if people stick or not
  • I don’t always share but I read the emails so maybe that’s the case with a lot of people.
  • In my opinion, the turnover has gotten less over the past couple of years.
  • I don’t know about turn over and not sure it matters because from what I have read some members live in isolated places or travel and this meeting forum is the only way to keep sober.
  • There are a lot of people unsubscribing by posting to the group. It makes it seem like a lot of women are leaving. And it seems to be people who haven’t posted very much.
  • I think the number of those who go back out is the same as face-to-face meetings, maybe slightly more because of the ease of internet contact. Maybe we could ‘assign’ someone to maintain contact with newcomers?
  • I can’t answer since I have no idea about the statistics.
  • I cannot accurately comment on how many join and then leave GROW. Still, I have some thoughts to share:
  • My visual memory is much stronger than any other form, so I refer to what I see in my f2f group. The vast majority of AA visitors come and go within a few months. The majority of members leave within a couple of years. Some stick for five or more years. I only regularly go to one meeting nearly every week, my home group, so I don’t know how many move on to other groups. I’d say no more than 5% have continuous sobriety in AA for more than a couple of years.
  • My intuition is that society needs more treatment methods for alcoholism. AA is not the best treatment for everybody. Fortunately, it is not the only treatment. We need to better understand why humans use and abuse alcohol. We need to understand the mind through neuroscience.
  • Not being a list keeper, I don’t know what the turnover rate is.
  • We have no way of knowing. The listkeepers publish numbers every business meeting but that does not tell us if newcomers are staying.  Also we cannot know if new members are leaving GROW to go to f2f meetings, having been supported to do so by finding GROW online first.  Every once in a while someone will share that, which is lovely!
  • We do have turnover, but I compare it to f2f groups and I don’t think it’s excessive.
  • It would appear that way. So not sure of reasons. Maybe found a f2f meeting, too time consuming, not disciplined to read shares every day. Hate to think it, go back out and just not sharing enough but reading the shares. The latter is me!

Question 4. Do we emphasize the importance of sponsorship? How effectively? How can we do better?

  • Some new GROW members are on their first day of sobriety and some just joining us have decades in AA, so women at different points in their program want different things. The monthly sponsor list (hopefully) lets newer ladies know that sponsors are available here.  I have never approached any GROW member asking clarification or more information and not gotten the help I sought.
  • I think we do what we can to suggest sponsorship to the new people that come in. Sending out the sponsorship list reminds those that we have many women available and willing to sponsor.
  • All we can do is continue to make the suggestion of sponsorship. I think we are effective in doing that.
  • “Do I have a Sponsor?” – that was one of the first questions I was asked by several members when they welcomed me to GROW. That was 7 years ago so don’t know if newcomers are being asked that now. I think the importance of sponsorship is emphasized almost every week.At times the meeting topic is Sponsorship. The weekly shares often mention members talking to their sponsors- or by being of service by being a sponsor. And the Sponsor List is sent out monthly.
  • We have the monthly sponsorship reminder that goes out as a reminder about sponsorship. It’s hard to know whether newcomers are approached because it happens privately. I feel that this meeting is so clear in its emphasis on steps and traditions that the importance of sponsorship comes through in shares.
  • I think we do a pretty good job of focusing on sponsorship. Of course, most of this comes when people share. We also have a Temporary Mentor to help people new to the group and a list of women who are available to sponsor on our website. I don’t know what more we could do.
  • I think we do a good job. One suggestion would be to send the list of sponsors to each new person to our group when they join. I am not sure how many women are now in the group, but our list of sponsors is rather short.
  • A list of available sponsors is sent out monthly to all members, along with an invitation to join our list of sponsors.We also have a Temporary Mentor position. Perhaps she could remind the members from time to time that she is available, temporarily, to assist until they find a Sponsor?
  • I think we share the importance of sponsorship in shares. In addition a list of online sponsors is published monthly.

Question 5. Are we careful to preserve the anonymity of our group members and other A.A.’s outside the meeting rooms? Do we leave the confidences they share at meetings behind?

  • I have mentioned at f2f meetings that I am a member of an online group; if someone asks me for more details I let them know how to go through the process of joining but don’t volunteer to forward emails. At times, I have copied/pasted shares on a specific topic for someone in a local group but I have never shared email information or identifiers other than first names as included in the shares.  I would hope that other GROW members do this or stuff like it.
  • I don’t know that there is any way to confirm or deny that we are doing a good job of this. I believe that the women that are here are trying to practice the principles in all their affairs, to the best of their ability and that includes preserving anonymity. We highlight the traditions in our weekly meeting and the step and tradition meeting, each month.
  • I can’t speak of others but I know I do. And we are reminded each week in GROW and at all the F2F meetings I attend by the reading of the Anonymity Statement.
  • I’m careful! there have been a changes made in the scripts re: not forwarding things no urls and the recent discussion of anonymity and Facebook for GROW and that has all contributed to this awareness of privacy and confidentiality .
  • GROW is very good about protecting people’s anonymity outside the meeting, but that is fairly easy with an online meeting. There is some personal information on our website for women who have volunteered to be Trusted Servants, but the website is password protected. I’m not personally aware of any issues with anonymity coming up in the past. Occasionally, I share at my f2f meetings about something a Grow member has shared, but the focus is on the message, not the particulars.
  • I think we do a good job. One example is voting down a facebook page because of the risk of member exposure.
  • I respect the spirit of anonymity. I will protect a member’s name but may share a part of her story with another alcoholic if I think it will help her.
  • I have not heard complaints about this, so I assume anonymity is respected.

Question 6. Do we take the time to explain to all members the value to the group of following our guidelines of e-mail etiquette? As a member, am I familiar with and do I follow these guidelines?

  • I think we do a good job of making the information available to all of our members. What they do with it is up to them, though.  Our guidelines are clear and succinct.
  • I believe that by sending out the monthly etiquette guide we are doing what we can to remind those of the guidelines. They are similar to that of f2f meetings so I am familiar and continue to practice them. There are many trusted servants here that I’m sure go out of their way to help those that don’t understand or follow the guidelines. I appreciate the desire of the women here to follow them. Doesn’t seem to me that we have many disruptions.
  • I believe so. The Guidelines are sent out regularly and if someone slips up, the members are reminded again of the Guidelines.
  • I’m familiar with the guidelines and follow them. And I do worry about newcomers who are very sensitive. It’s important to enforce the guidelines but with compassion!
  • I don’t know if we actually explain to everyone why our guidelines are important, but I know that people are great about adhering to them. There are few distractions in our meetings from our focus on recovery from alcoholism, and conflicts are not visible in the online meeting. When issues come up, they are addressed privately with the members involved. As a long-time member, yes, I am familiar with the guidelines and try hard to adhere to them.
  • I want to say that I am familiar but at the same time it wouldnt hurt me to go over the guidelines. Pretty sure that the only thing I may violate is character length.
  • Our Secretary sends us a list of Group Guidelines each month. I understand and follow the Guidelines to the best of my ability
  • I think we explain this when someone does not follow the guidelines. New members receive them and they are published monthly, but I think it’s in private that they are enforced.

Question 7. Are all members given the opportunity to speak at meetings and to participate in other group activities?

  • Members are given a week to respond to the weekly topic. Options for participating in service work, Grapevine posts, topic leaders and 12th step work opportunities are posted. I believe we do a very good job with this.
  • I think Grow encourages people to share in meetings on topic and to participate in our business meetings. Unfortunately, sometimes it feels like few people hear those messages. We have over 200 members, yet often it is the same people sharing each week on topic. The list of people participating in business meetings doesn’t seem to change much from year to year. It’s hard to know how to encourage more participation in an online group.
  • I think all members are given the opportunity to speak in meetings. The meeting is open to all who wish to share. And members can also share Off Topic.
  • I’m not clear about what the other group activities are.
  • Are all members given the opportunity to speak at meetings and to participate in other group activities? Yes. Everyone is encouraged to share on the topic, step and tradition, grapevine and the business meeting.
  • Yes, I feel sharing by any group member is welcomed and encouraged in Grow, quite often the weekly lead will say something along these lines.
  • The wording for participation in this inventory is a good example of how we do this too.
  • Perhaps there’s room for improvement in encouraging more members to participate in the business meetings?
  • Yes, indeed, every member has the opportunity to share in this group.
  • This is an easy one for a group that uses email, everyone can participate at any time.
  • I have never seen anything to indicate that members are denied an opportunity to speak, on topic or not, and to be included in group activities.

Question 8. Are we mindful that holding office is a great responsibility not to be viewed as the outcome of a popularity contest, are we choosing our officers with care?

  • In Grow, we are grateful when people step up to take a service position. Every cycle, it is like pulling teeth to get people other than the ‘regulars’ to take a service position. It is NOT a popularity contest, as we seldom have to worry about two people volunteering for the same job (so there is no vote).
  • We publish the positions that are open and refer to service work being important to our sobriety. I don’t believe since I’ve been a member of this group that we ever had to choose between two people so I don’t believe it’s a choice of any sort. If I’m correct it seems like it’s first to volunteer first to serve.
  • I believe the majority of the members are aware that holding office is a responsibility. The job description of each office position makes it clear what the responsibilities are and the qualities one needs to fill the position to the fullest. If someone has questions, they are free to ask. I know there are some positions I can’t fill due to my skill set. Having the best qualified members who desire to fill a posiwetion enhances GROW.
  • I believe that anyone who wants to be of service and serve a role of a trusted servant to this group is welcome to do so. I haven’t seen it as a popularity contest.
  • I think the advantage of us being online is that there’s less room for making things into a popularity contest and our guidelines around email etiquette seem to work well in helping us as a group avoid conflict in our meetings.
  • The job descriptions are helpful but also highlight the responsibilities involved.
  • As for Trusted Servants, we try to be careful that each one will be able to perform the tasks of the position. It is more a matter of who is willing and able than a popularity contest in this group. I am certainly glad for this.
  • Yes
  • Frankly it never occurred to me that it could be a popularity contest–it is my feeling that holding an office in such an esteemed organization like this is a very serious responsibility that requires commitment and time.

Question 9. Does the group do its fair share toward participating in the purpose of A.A. – as it relates to our “Three Legacies” of Recovery, Unity and Service?

  • Seeing the short list perhaps more members of GROW could volunteer for sponsorship opportunities.
  • At face-to-face meetings we always call 1st step when we have someone new to AA. Perhaps we could share privately with that person our first step stories.
  • I think Grow does as much as it can to participate in AA overall. We have representatives on OIAA and GSO. We are good about supporting and promotion the Three Legacies.
  • GROW members participate in the 3 Legacies of Recovery, Unity and Service by addressing the physical, mental and spiritual parts of our disease through their shares – although it may said be indirectly.
  • I believe we do. We are a group of women that truly focus on recovery and the solution. We do a good job of reminding each other it is a we program and that is being of service.
  • In my experience we seem to do best at Recovery & Service.
  • Regarding Unity, I’ve found warm, supportive, loving, generous fellowship amongst the women in the group but I know I’m quite good at reaching out. I wonder if members who don’t reach out themselves get reached out to? Like if someone goes quiet and doesn’t share for a while do members reach out to check in with that person?
  • Also, how unified are we with AA as a whole? I’m not feeling like there’s dis-Unity, just maybe that it’s the nature of us being online that means it may be harder to feel the unity with the wider AA fellowship online or offline.
  • The legacy of Recovery we do very well imho.
  • The legacy of Unity we typically do about as well as most groups I’ve participated in. We are open to all opinions in our business meetings, and when we do not have a consensus, we work towards that with care.
  • The legacy of Service at levels above the group are not as open to us as an online group. It has not always been easy to convince our members of the need to stay connected to OIAA but I personally believe this is very important. As an international group we have not formally associated with a particular Service office. We are registered as an online group with GSO in New York. Most of us are in the US and tend to think of that as the group to affiliate with. But we have or have had members in Australia, New Zealand, and Europe, and have not heard much about their Service offices. These are the facts as I know them today.
  • Yes, the group welcomes new members, everyone is invited to share and to serve as trusted servants. The business meeting is open to all and everyone has a voice in making decisions.
  • The joy of this group is its dedicated focus on the principles of AA and all sharings these legacies.

Question 10: As a group, do we remain informed about AA as a whole? Do we support, in every way we can AA as a whole or just the parts we understand and approve of?

  • I’m pretty sure we do what we can to support AA in the way I learned AA works… Service, unity and recovery. Sharing the message. One alcoholic talking to another, or the grateful recovering women in the group. 🙂
  • As a group we are informed about AA as a whole through our GSR and our OIAA Rep. How much any individual chooses to avail themselves of this information, there is no way to know.  I am grateful when our GSR sends the Box 4-5-9 link to the group.  I also appreciate when our OIAA Rep sends us a report of what is going on in our Intergroup.
  • I would say this is an area we could improve on.
  • We have Box 459 newsletter sent out which is really useful and informative but we have no other communication either from our inter group or announcements about aa news or business or events that might be relevant.
  • I feel it is a bit like we operate as a group in a bit of a bubble apart from aa as a whole.
  • We support the Traditions of AA, as well as our own GROW Guidelines. To keep us informed about AA as a whole, we could have more input from the GSR and OIAA Meetings.
  • Not really aware of our following developments about AA as a whole but I dont in our f2f meetings either. On the other hand, I see no difference between GROW and the AA we find outside.
  • We have reps for Grapevine, OIAA & GSO who report/present to the group. Not sure what else we could do to participate with AA as a whole.

Question 11: Are we considerate of all our members?

  • I believe we are. In any AA group there are men and women at different stages of their recovery. Some may approach recovery differently. But I believe we are all here because we don’t want to be out there… And that we are considerate to each other.
  • I believe that we are very considerate of all our members. I myself have tried to help and been seen as interfering; that was not my intention but without personal connection that can be hard to portray.  The last thing I want to do is to upset a Trusted Servant who is just trying to do her job.  We now have the small steering committee to handle any disruptions, as well as our trusted Secretary.
  • There are lots of examples where we are very considerate – prayer requests when members are ill or struggling. This is wonderful and feels warm and loving and supportive.
  • Our email etiquette means we don’t get exposed to some of the problems some online meetings experience, like flaming.
  • Is there more we could do to consider the needs of new or returning women? Assigning a buddy, perhaps? Someone to keep in touch as the woman finds her feet?
  • I believe that we are considerate of all our members by welcoming them to the group, and by sending personal messages of sobriety celebrations. Also, by following our Group Guidelines and Email Etiquette, members are considerate of each other.
  • The only area I could suggest being more considerate, “softer”, is when someone breaks the etiquette rules. Sometimes they are newcomers who are just finding their way and feel chastised/criticized and leave the group. Perhaps we could send a softer message to the offending member.

Question 12: As a group, have we done a thorough and fearless inventory, or have we missed an important element?

  • I think GROW does a GREAT job to see where they can grow (sorry no pun intended) and change. By holding our group to the standards of any AA group, I believe we have done a great job practicing these principles in all our affairs. (I’ve been a part of three women’s groups and this one is my favorite. By far!)
  • It seems that there are elements that could be missing from our inventory questions, which were written for f2f groups.I believe that this group possibly draws in part from women who are not sure that they are alcoholics and want to find out what AA is like without going to f2f meetings.  The experience of being a part of a group of alcoholics who are smiling, laughing, hugging and otherwise relating in a healthy manner is not to be missed.  We encourage new members to find this for themselves when they can.  That is all we can do!
  • I think the questions have been really useful.
  • It’s great to have a chance to read the thoughts of others who’ve participated.
  • The inventory may be thorough but the important element to me is what actions could be taken next, or at least discussed.
  • Without the next part of the process does the thoroughness become somewhat irrelevant?
  • There is no area in which I find GROW lacking.The format protects the process, ruling out crosstalk, etc.  There are established protocols for most any circumstance that comes to my mind.

1018 – Business Meeting Open

October 2018 Business Meeting Open

Greetings GROW Members:

The October 2018 Business Meeting (GROW-BUS) is now open. If you wish to participate, please send an email to the following address requesting to join the Business List grow-owner@oso-aa.org – if you have not already done so.

PLEASE:

  • Send all replies, comments and votes to grow-business@oso-aa.org.
  • Do not hit reply to this email or your request will come to me instead of the Listkeepers.
  • Do not send your request to the GROW meeting list, or your request may be overlooked.
  • Trusted Servants (both Incoming and Outgoing) are automatically subscribed by our Listkeepers.
  • If you are not a Trusted Servant, remember that even if you were subscribed for a previous GROW Business Meeting, you must subscribe again, as all names are removed from the list at the end of each meeting.

Agenda for October 2018 Business Meeting
Trusted Servant Reports:

  • Secretary – Incoming/Outgoing Trusted Servants
  • Treasurer – Donations to GROW and Expenses paid
  • Listkeepers – Current number of GROW members
  • Business Meeting Chair – Activities of the “Mini” Steering Committee
  • General Services Representative – Activities of AA’s General Service Board and the Box 4-5-9 Newsletter
  • Grapevine Representative – Activities to inform GROW members about articles and information available in AA’s Grapevine, the international journal of Alcoholics Anonymous.
  • OIAA Representative – Activities of the Online Intergroup of AA

In the October 2018 meeting, an ad hoc committee began developing and implementing a new GROW website. Our first business will be to receive and discuss the workgroup’s progress to date and talk about next steps (Proposal 1).

In addition to GROW’s website, participants in this meeting will consider several proposals:

  • Change the monthly FYI letter sent out by the Secretary.
  • Add a sentence to the Weekly Meeting Format Letter to emphasize our principle of anonymity.
  • Increase the amount of our biannual contribution to oso-aa.org.
  • Create a Newcomer Committee to support the Temporary Mentor to assure quick responses to questions and issues and to help new members adjust to the online meeting format and practices.
  • Each month, the Temporary Mentor will send a short letter reminding GROW members of AA resources available to them.
  • Abolish the Trusted Servant position of OIAA Representative and discontinue GROW’s participation in that group.
  • Review Group Inventory responses to identify appropriate changes that will improve our online meeting.

I look forward to your participation at the meeting!

Regards,
danna M.
GROW Business Chairdmcd.grow@zoho.com

1018 – Business Meeting Welcome

Oct 2018 – Business Meeting Welcome

Greetings, and welcome to the October 2018 Business Meeting of Grateful Recovering Online Women (GROW).

I am danna, a recovering alcoholic, and your Business Chair for this meeting. Thank you for participating!

This is a closed meeting, open only to members of GROW, for the discussion of business as it relates to our group. Our business meetings run in four-day segments and last no more than 29 days.

I will post each Agenda item, one by one, in separate emails and **ask that you respond to each accordingly.** This makes it easier to “tally” the responses and suggestions to each item. We will have a three-day period of open discussion on each Agenda item. This, hopefully, will allow all members regardless of work schedules, time zones, etc. to participate and comment. At the beginning of the fourth day, I will post the results/consensus of our discussions.

Before we begin, let’s have a moment of silence to reflect on why we are here, followed by the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.

In this Business Meeting, let us be guided by The Twelve Traditions:

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority — a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.
  4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
  6. An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
  7. Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
  9. A.A., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Let us all keep in mind our Unity of Service statement from the Grapevine of September 1998:

“Unity seldom means that we all agree on everything. Nor is unity served by setting aside our concerns and conforming to the majority opinion (or the vocal minority) . . . Unity is best achieved by a full hearing of all points of view . . . time for all of those involved to step back from emotional responses . . . as well as careful consideration and prayer for that which will best serve the group or AA as a whole.”

Thank you for being here and for your dedication to GROW.

Respectfully submitted,
danna M.
GROW Business Chair
dmcd.grow@gmail.com

Sep 30: AA in Two Words

AA in Two Words

As Bill Sees It
September 30
A.A. In Two Words, p.271

“All A.A. progress can be reckoned in terms of just two words: humility and responsibility. Our whole spiritual development can be accurately measured by our degree of adherence to these magnificent standards.

“Ever deepening humility, accompanied by an ever greater willingness to accept and to act upon clear-cut obligations-these are truly our touchstones for all growth in the life of the spirit. They hold up to us the very essence of right being and right doing. It is by them that we are enabled to find and to do God’s will.”
Talk, 1965 (Printed In Grapevine, January 1966)

Wow. I love this short and powerful message. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone showed humility and responsibility in their life? It starts with us. Today. Almost all our problems can be fixed with a little humble pie and taking responsibility for our part. I know I need a dose of each every day so I am reminded I am no one else’s life manager but mine. God willing, I continue to do the right thing today and tomorrow. Making the world around me a better place, one day at a time. It starts with me. It starts with you. AA in two words: humility and responsibility.

Sep 23: Isolation and Loneliness

Isolation and Loneliness

I am grateful to be here today with GROW and celebrate an AA birthday. I recently came back to the rooms after 25 years away. This came about as the result of circumstances I was in. I did not drink. I never stopped living according to AA.principles. But I began to experience the most painful case of isolation and loneliness I ever thought possible. I simply could not stop crying. These feelings were ever-present when I had been drinking too I know. In fact, the Big Book says:

What are we likely to receive from Step Five? For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we’ve always had. Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. * * AA World Services Inc. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (p. 57).

Isolation serves a purpose for the drinker, No one will see, stop or judge us on how much we drink. We don’t have time for anything else but drinking. We had drinking ‘friends’ but they are long gone. We can stay in our heads. As a friend used to tell me, ‘ When we are in our heads we are behind enemy lines.’ We can easily neglect ourselves and our home because no one will see us. And in a certain way we are saying, Don’t bother me–I need to feel sorry for myself right now. Or, I have to rage and nurse a resentment–I’ll get back to you. Of course, we won’t.

It is rare that isolation isn’t coupled with loneliness. We deny it, but there is a huge hole inside of us and when we were drinking, we thought alcohol could heal the ulcer. Of course it didn’t work. It got worse. We are social beings. We need other human beings. A god of my understanding was rarely even a thought! There is no such thing as we can do it all ourselves. The power of a group is much greater than that of an individual. Our human and spiritual sides atrophy and cause the pain of loneliness. Despite our isolation perhaps, we look everywhere to dismiss the loneliness. These really are the underpinnings for setting us alcoholics up for failure. We refuse to see the connection. Talking through my tears, I actually fought coming back to the rooms. Really, go figure!

I gave little or no attention to a Higher Power. He did stay on the side waiting for me to make a move and ask Him for help all through this time. I was not used to interacting with people. I surely wasn’t used to smiling or thinking about someone else. I came to realize how my unshared emotional pain and isolation were wallowing–selfish–and digging me into a deep hole. First I came to GROW and then found a f2f meeting. The funny part of this all is that I was so SURPRISED how much better I felt back in the rooms. Btw, I was told not to waste a lot of time looking for my Higher Power because He wasn’t hiding!

One last note. Let me offer one caveat. The ‘craving’ for isolation is not lifted like the craving for alcohol. It sneaks up on us and we may not attend meetings. We have all the denial we had when we were drinking. While I had not been hiding, I needed to be here no matter what in my life impeded me. I will keep coming back. I am grateful I found a way to do it. My sponsor has made this clear. In no way do I recommend the path I took to return to the rooms. I was blessed to have survived.

Please share on this topic ISOLATION AND LONELINESS or on any other topic from your experience, strength, and hope. We are glad most of all that you are here.

hgz, b. dos 9/21/83

Sep 16: Why Service Works/Chronic Relapsers

Why Service Works/Chronic Relapsers

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can.” -BB page 89

So this is why service worked for me…

  • When I help other women, or anyone for that matter, I am bringing God into the room, because before “I” brought nothing but chaos and drama….now that I am recovered; I bring Him. When I do anything of selfless service it glorifies what God did for me…Him using me as a vessel heals me, calms me, and makes me sane. Also I get to be a living breathing example of what AA is-not this white knuckle sobriety or chronic relapsing which seems to be the new normal in AA.
  • When I am selflessly engaging with someone I am NOT thinking about myself. It blocks me from selfish thoughts and self-preoccupation, which is precisely what makes and keeps us spiritually ill. Not only that, but I just feel like crap when I am totally self-absorbed, like when I was drinking. In an effort to help them, my mind gets empty and I can operate from spirit, instead of self. Mental clutter begets more clutter, and then suddenly I’ve become a hoarder with all sorts of toxic, self-created problems.
  • Service repaired my soul. Working with others healed me spiritually, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, and even physically!
  • Service/Sponsorship helped me to grow in God and strengthen my sobriety so much so that I haven’t once in the 4 years I have been sponsoring romanced the idea of drinking-Immunity. I get relief and restored sanity daily because no matter how bad my day, someone ALWAYS has it worse. Self pity is instantly tuned into compassion. I get to help them which means that my brain has less time to mess with me….when I am being used by God in service I am sane=whole.
  • Sponsoring lifts me up inside, which is perfect for alcoholics who always need to feel good…lol! Seriously, God knew the alcoholic had to have a “good feeling”, something in it for me!
  • Service is the opposite of being a selfish alcoholic-I can’t treat my selfish disease with more selfishness-which is why AA is not “self help”-the Self Help industry emphasizes on self, we emphasis on God and others. It’s self that get us crazed.

Impart, I get immunity from drinking when I carry the message of AA. No room to relapse. The real message is in the book-not in slogans, rehabs or meetings. Fellowship is but one part of recovery. Fellowship is support, love and friendships…Meetings are a place we gather to share the solution with the newcomers…But the Immunity comes with working then Steps then Working with Others.

Growing in my connection and knowledge of God-and teaching other women to do the same. Half measure avail me NOTHING. If I go to meetings and am not working the Steps or sponsoring other women my sobriety will reflect that-barley hanging on; that isn’t in the big book. Celebrating relapses as though it’s a normal part of recovery-Relapse is a result of half measures-kinda working the program, expecting my sponsor to fix me, just attending meetings, not fully doing the to Step work, not being fully honest which will result in a shaking foundation that is laid in the first 3 Steps….

The book tells me if I think I have control over my drinking I should head over to the nearest bar and try that theory out…LOL!! Can you imagine if a sponsor said that now?!? Oh wow, she would be racked over the coals! “Hilarie, you think your normal, you still think you have power…go drink and get back to me” Instead we are so afraid that they might “get mad at us” or say something bad behind our backs, that we allow them to breeze through the first 3 instead of going with the gut that says…”I KNOW she thinks she’s still in control, but I move her along anyways” I’ve done this, so I call myself out. I admit it it. What I should have done is what the bb says instead of making myself their higher power by thinking I could make them better.

Getting stuck on those who aren’t completely willing and just want to hang out and talk, keeps me from helping someone who is really ready…I have just allowed my ego to sponsor and developed a savior complex-NOT GOOD! Moving on and being ok with the fit they will throw (because they will) My gut knows when I am playing God…You think God’s gonna let me get away with that…hell no! LOL…Thank God for God who reveled that to me in inventory and then gave me courage to stop people pleasing sponsees. That doesn’t mean I’m always right, or that I am the sponsor for them-but at least I can admit that I needed edification there instead of getting stuck in this old idea.

If you are a chronic relapeser I ask you to stand down for a year or two…wait to speak until you have something of substance to share. I know that flies in the face of “make everyone happy” modern AA, but I don’t care. We have adopted the idea that relapse is normal in recovery and it’s not. If they are doing all the that they should be doing then relapse isn’t even an issue…it’s something we don’t entertain anymore. If that pisses people off-good. We should be pissing people off instead of people pleasing them to death. My biggest turn arounds in sobriety have come with facing the uncomfortable truths of myself and my behavior. Change is not comfortable-sorry.

We spend so much time coddling them instead of teaching them. We practicality throw a party because they “came back” cool, your back…now lets see where you messed up….
Which Step did you stop at?
Were you not entirely honest with your sponsor?
Did you not fully concede to Step 1?
Do you still have a lurking notion that you can drink normally?
Where you not fully convinced that God could do for you what he did for me?
Did you really turn your will over?
What did you leave off your 4th and didn’t say in the 5th?
How about defects? Which ones were you unwilling to let go of? Did you pray for willingness to do so?
How many outstanding amends do you really have?
How is the daily inventory going?
Prayer and meditation daily?
Sponsoring others? Home group? Service commitment?

My guess is that the reason for the relapse is one if not all of these things. But who cares…lets just blame our sponsors, our life circumstances and drink because I always can “keep coming back”….THEN, we get to listen to them…the newcomer then thinks this is normal…and the old timers let it slide.

Shame on us for not having the courage to pull these women aside and tell them to shut up and listen until they have truly entered into the sunlight of the spirit. They use to make people wait five years before they could speak…and made sure they had quality sobriety-that they weren’t just dry and speaking to hear themselves talk. You can’t transmit something you haven’t got…Get it first, then we will hear you…until then-listen, do what your sponsor says, be honest, do the work and pray…otherwise, stand down.

If they get pissed and bring it to the meeting format so that they can draw out and feed off the emotions of other lukewarm recovering alcoholics to falsely justify themselves and their numb hurt feelings-so be it. Integrity has taking a back seat to making sure “feelings” aren’t hurt…Stop it! LOL! That’s why I got so messed up in the first place…my mom never wanted my precious “feelings” hurt! Feelings get hurt-so what, get over it. Our entire fellowship is just handed over to those who think AA is a revolving door of white chips which causes confusion in the minds of those who really do want to live. We no longer have the right to confuse or use people-not anymore. If we don’t start standing up for our fellowship instead of conforming to this wishy washy people pleasing crap-then we will lose it. The message is so watered down that’s it’s almost gone. We are people pleasing drunks into a early grave. I’m not letting go of my fellowship to protect feelings of chronic relapeser anymore.

Thanks for letting me share!

Sep 09: All or Nothing

All or Nothing

My name is Suanne and I am an alcoholic. The following reading comes from the Grapevine, March 1962.

“Acceptance and faith are capable of producing 100 per cent sobriety. In fact, they usually do; and they must, else we could have no life at all. But the moment we carry these attitudes into our emotional problems, we find that only relative results are possible. Nobody can, for example, become complete free from fear, anger, and pride.

Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our old-time attitude of “all or nothing” will have to be abandoned.”

Man, this smacks me between the eyes sometimes. All or nothing because that’s the way I am. I have a hard time with balance. However, with the principles of our program, I am learning and I hope I will always be teachable. I used to think that if I was working a good program, I would never get angry again, or depressed again. However, I’ve found this is an ongoing surrender. When I ask God to remove any defects of character that are not of any use to Him, I don’t get struck “perfect”. I have to remember that there are still some defects He is using right now. Serenity comes when I”m doing the best I can today, asking for God’s will and doing my best to do whatever He puts before me. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t. But I”m willing and I’m willing to learn from my mistakes as well. Thy will be done.

Ladies, this is your meeting. Please share your experience with the above or with whatever you feel led to share on. Thanks for allowing me to be of service.

Hugs
Suanne G
DOS 6-20-01
Waco, TX

Online Sponsors 10/2018

Available Online Sponsors

Women who have volunteered to sponsor GROW members.

Sep 02: Attitude Adjustment

Attitude Adjustment

Hello everyone.
“Not picking up a drink creates infinite possibilities for me. … Who knows? This could be the greatest day of my life.” Grapevine DAILY QUOTE Book on p. 9

I love reading this passage and have it taped on my bathroom mirror so, I can’t miss it every day. I feel a combination of hope and gratitude when I read it and know that it’s only because of GOD and AA that it’s a possibility.

Is today the greatest day of your life? I don’t know if it’s mine but, I sure don’t want to miss it just in case.

Please share your experience, strength, and hope on this reading. The quote comes from a Grapevine article titled “Attitude Adjustment” (Jan 2006).

Aug 26: AA Literature

AA Literature

Hello ladies of GROW, my name is Allison M and I am an alcoholic. I’ll admit to being hooked on our wonderful array of AA literature! Who else here is a fan of it?

My first impression of the first 164 pages of our Big Book was that it was frumpy, outdated and chauvinistic. But it didn’t take long to uncover the gems scattered in the pages, and I actually now enjoy re-reading certain passages that always seem to calm me down or help me find an answer to almost any problem that weighs on me. Do you have a favorite passage?

And what about the stories from the Big Book? My go-to is “Freedom from Bondage” on page 544 of the 4th edition. I identify so strongly with this story that the first time I read it, I briefly wondered if I had written it during a blackout and forgotten! I have found some amazing stories in Experience, Strength and Hope, a collection of stories from earlier editions of the Big Book that have been retired to make room for new stories. It’s amazing to see how we members have grown and evolved in the program through the decades. Again and again I go back to “The Professor and the Paradox” and “Stars Don’t Fall” from previous editions and continue to be moved by them. What are some of your favorite stories from the Big Book, any edition?

I’ve recently been tearing through the AA Grapevine books, compilations of Grapevine stories relating to specific categories like step work, sponsorship, and emotional sobriety. It’s like having a topic meeting on demand! Is there a Grapevine story that has stuck with you over time?

There are some great memoirs written by women who are living sober in AA. They aren’t technically AA literature, but I have read some incredibly moving and motivating stories that have given me fresh energy and insight into living a fulfilling sober life.

I look forward to hearing your favorites from the wide selection of AA literature we have to choose from, or about what is affecting your sobriety today!

Aug 19: Accountability is Sustainability

Accountability is Sustainability

Step 5 -Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

The first five steps barreled into my life all together like a ton of bricks. Step 5 was my turning point! I had tried to be honest with my husband after drinking and his begging me to stop (for years)…not good enough….I tried to be honest with myself and my failed attempts to be sober…not enough and in fact after really trying to stop and repeatedly failing, I was getting worse because my conscious was telling me I was a failure in every respect. I couldn’t do it alone. I’ve been a Catholic my entire life and had fallen away from church, prayer or anything spiritual. It was all fake. One day I cried and finally cried out and asked God to help me. I was powerless and drinking was going to take everything I held dear away. By listening to what I needed, to seek God’s help in order to be open and honest to another human being about my life, my choices and who I had become and how this has happened, came the grace I so desperately sought. I would never have fathomed the questions or the answers which poured out. All of the terrible things I had done and said, the lies, the pain I had caused others. After it was over it was like the entire AA program, made complete sense.

It was an ever so slight shift in thinking and a decision to never want to go through that pain again. My honest words leaving my mouth somehow made things seem real for the first time. It was like being set free from a prison. I found that I could do the work needed to accomplish being sober. I recognize that God is humble and never comes if first not invited, but God will find a clever way to get invited. And so it truly began.

A book I recently read said you cannot heal what you don’t acknowledge and what you do not consciously acknowledge will remain in control of you from within. We must work through our fear, our stinking thinking, guilt, to get to the powerful steps of AA in order to be the women we were meant to be. Step 5 gives a clear structure of recognizing that accountability is sustainability. How do you keep yourself accountable in order to sustain your sobriety?

Aug 12: No God, no peace. Know God, know peace.

No God, no peace. Know God, know peace.

Hi everyone,
My name is Nydia and I am an alcoholic. Thank you for the opportunity to chair.

I found myself thinking today – 10 years to the day I last picked up a drink – only when I stay close to my Higher Power do I find serenity. Like a true alky though, I do tend to wander 🙂 If I expect/ depend upon people, places and things to fill that hole in the donut, there’s no God, and no peace. Only when I turn to my HP to find that inner calm. A place of sanctuary. Below I have placed a few words from Bill W. He says it better than I do 🙂

Taken from the article ‘The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety’ by Bill Wilson (January 1958)

“I asked myself, “Why can’t the Twelve Steps work to release me from this unbearable depression?” By the hour, I stared at the St. Francis Prayer: “It is better to comfort than to be comforted.”

Suddenly I realized what the matter was. My basic flaw had always been dependence – almost absolute dependence – on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like. Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my depression.

There wasn’t a chance of making the outgoing love of St. Francis a workable and joyous way of life until these fatal and almost absolute dependencies were cut away.”

I look forward to hearing your experience, strength and hope.
Nydia

Aug 05: Listening Deeply

Listening Deeply

Daily Reflections
August 5
LISTENING DEEPLY, p.226

How persistently we claim the right to decide all by ourselves just what we shall think and just how we shall act. -TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 37

If I accept and act upon the advice of those who have made the program work for themselves, I have a chance to outgrow the limits of the past. Some problems will shrink to nothingness, while others may require patient, well-thought-out action. Listening deeply when others share can develop intuition in handling problems which arise unexpectedly. It is usually best for me to avoid impetuous action. Attending a meeting or calling a fellow A.A. member will usually reduce tension enough to bring relief to a desperate sufferer like me. Sharing problems at meetings with other alcoholics to whom I can relate, or privately with my sponsor, can change aspects of the positions in which I find myself. Character defects are identified and I begin to see how they work against me. When I put my faith in the spiritual power of the program, when I trust others to teach me what I need to do to have a better life, I find that I can trust myself to do what is necessary.

Share on this topic, your ES&H.

Amanda 8-3-2016

Jul 29: Growing Up in AA

Growing Up in AA

Hello women of GROW and thank you for the opportunity to chair!

I am getting ready to celebrate 5 years sober…I’m also 51 years old and finally starting to feel like a grown up woman.

Today, my HP and I have a partnership. As a result I have been able to do things I never thought I could handle.

As a result of working these Steps, I no longer manipulate my partner into doing things I just don’t want to do; if I notice something that needs taking care of, I take care of it.

I no longer try to get something for nothing. If my computer is infected by malware, I pay someone to remove it. I no longer try to find a friend to do it for free.

I face my fear of financial insecurity. I am finally getting new glasses and I chose to go to the clinic that felt supportive, as opposed to one that was inexpensive.

Today I am learning to maintain good boundaries with partners and friends. I’m take care of my body. I am self-supporting through my own contributions! And it feels great.

I’d love to hear how AA has helped you to grow and take responsibility for your lives. What can you do now, with the support of your Higher Power that you thought you were unable or unwilling to handle?

Have a lovely week and I’m looking forward to hearing from you on this topic or whatever is on your heart.

xo
Kirsten

Jul 22: Accepting Others As They Are

Accepting Other As They Are

I read the serenity prayer several times each week, adding 2 words in my mind: “…accept the people and things I cannot change…”. I personally find it much more of a struggle each day to truly accept the behavior of others when they don’t meet my expectations. I also convince myself that they should be able to read my mind and understand that I am not pleased, and therefore change – for me! After all, I am the center of the universe (aren’t I)?

At times I am able to easily turn my expectations over to God, and eventually that promised feeling of serenity washes over me like a warm glow. Other times, my fears and insecurities in my personal and work relationships hit me hard, and I want them to make it (i.e., me) feel better. When they don’t, well, I want to drink, eat or go shopping.

This excerpt is from the Hazelden app that I use every day, I find it so helpful when I am stuck in the mire of expectations (the first sentence really makes me chuckle, it’s so true!):

“Women like to sit down with trouble as if it were knitting. How often we turn minor challenges into monumental barriers by giving them undue attention, forgetting that within any problem lies its solution! However, the center of our focus must be off the problem’s tangle if we are to find the solution’s thread. The best remedy for this dilemma is the Serenity Prayer. We cannot change our children, our husbands or partners, not even the best friends who we know love us. But with God’s help we can change the attitude that has us blocked at this time. A changed attitude, easing up on ourselves, lessening our expectations of others, will open the door to the kind of relationships we seek, the smooth flowing days we long for. We need not take life so seriously. In fact, we shouldn’t take it so seriously. We can measure our emotional health by how heartily we laugh with others and at ourselves. The 24 hours stretching before us at this time promises many choices in attitude. We can worry, be mad, depressed, or frustrated, or we can trust our higher power to see us through whatever the situation. So, we can relax. It is our decision, the one decision over which we are not powerless. I will be in control of my attitude today. I can have the kind of day I long for.”

Please share your thoughts on this topic or anything else you would like to bring up.

Grateful to be of service this week, thank you!
Susan P.

Jul 15: Feelings in Sobriety

Feelings in Sobriety

It’s so hard to handle and feel emotions and feelings sober! With alcohol, I could sure handle them much better. Alcohol was like a wonder drug for me, it gave me courage, self confidence, and a great mood… For awhile anyway.

My first year sober I heard voices and committee meetings in my head constantly. I had to do some serious praying and God took the voices away. My emotions were so out of control though, luckily my home group was balanced and understood my emotional roller coaster. Feelings for me never last forever, they will pass. But new coping skills took practice and I still don’t always have the emotional balance down like I should. For example, at my new job I have a coworker who was my boyfriend 32 years ago. I was his check racker on roulette yesterday and I had nervous butterflies in my stomach just because he was talking to me asking how I was doing. And I still feel like a 14 year old school girl with a crush when I am interested in a man. (I’m 58). I have heard at meetings that you stop maturing when you had your first drink. So maybe with 10 sober years I have the maturity of a 26 year old? Sometimes I can get lost in resentment which is fatal to the alcoholic. Lots of prayers, distancing myself, and finding my part in it. Sometimes I have fear and I try to pretend I’m not afraid of anything. I know when dealing with feelings sober I need other women alcoholics to talk to because they will probably understand. Gratitude is a great way to get grounded and tame the feelings. Thanks for letting me share! Have a great week Grow ladies!

Jul 08: Alcoholic Who Still Suffers: Life on Life’s Terms

Alcoholic Who Still Suffers: Life on Life’s Terms

We hear these words at every meeting. ” A moment of silence for the alcoholic who still suffers, inside and outside of these rooms.” I have to admit, first I see the homeless drunk suffering and sick. I may not even get time to think about the alcoholics inside the rooms.

The other night at a f2f meeting a woman raised her hand and said, “Please don’t forget about those suffering inside the rooms.” This is a young woman who is going to prison for what occurred during her using. Her 6 year old child has been taken away from her. Her sobriety has been fragile but she has been working it. She is heart-broken and ashamed. She needs our prayers and support and continued acceptance. She needs us to understand. These problems are at the heart of Living On Life’s Terms.

Many in our small local f2f group are suffering a lot today. Serious illness; impending death; disabled children; loss; broken families; loneliness; financial problems left over from using. One man is trying to share a lot ‘before he cant’ anymore–he has early Alzheimer’s. Another man just 90 years old, keeps repeating the AA slogan: Don’t drink and don’t die, but the dying part clearly weighs heavily on his mind. He tries to joke about it. But his eyes are not laughing. This is life on life’s terms.

But what can be said of ‘inside the rooms’ alcoholics is that they are sober. They are not drinking. They have a sponsor. They work the Steps. They come to meetings. And still they suffer. Perhaps for the moment, we are okay. We are able to give extra support to those in need. We can pray for them. We can check up on them. The Promises are being realized in our lives. And we can say a prayer of gratitude for today, AA, and our Higher Power. We can do service. We are okay today, one day at a time. We are not doing it alone. Nor are they. AA prepares us for Life on Life’s Terms. It’s not easy but it works.

Jul 01: 4 Reasons Why I’m Active in AA

Reasons Why I’m Active in AA

Hello all, Yolanda, humbly grateful alcoholic here to serve. Welcome to new members and congrats to those celebrating sober milestones – I’m glad everyone is here.

I chaired the end of the month Birthday Speaker meeting at one of my regular meetings yesterday, and it was an amazingly powerful meeting. Several people picked up one year medallions and one person celebrated having 9 years of continuous sobriety – glorious! The speaker was a gentleman who imparts such words of wisdom that it was truly an honor to introduce him and hear his ESH.

He began his story by reading pages 180-181 from the BB, and as I was considering my topic, it continually came to mind. In this section, Dr. Bob’s Nightmare, he’s talking about why he continued to be active in AA:

  1. Sense of duty.
  2. It is a pleasure.
  3. Because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
  4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.

When people ask why I still attend meetings, sponsor others and do service work, without realizing I was strikingly similar to Dr. Bob, I give these reasons. I have been given SO much from this program that to take it all and not help someone is returning to my old character defects and being selfish and self-centered. This is the sense of duty.

Because it’s a pleasure: to help someone through their steps, be an ear when they need to work through a problem, chair a meeting, make coffee, etc., all these things make me feel I’m contributing to this Society and it fills my cup. It brings me joy to be of use to others!

By doing so I’m repaying a debt to those who showed me the way: my sponsor(s) have put a lot of work and time into my sobriety and they’ve shared so much wisdom with me that who am I to keep it to myself? Again, I can’t be, shouldn’t be so selfish as to keep it to myself. They helped me so I know their words would help others and I’m happy to share how their suggestions helped me deal with various issues and it could possibly help them, too.

Lastly, continuing to be active is my insurance against slipping: working with a Sponsee always reminds me why I got sober. I can listen to their pain and remember my own like I was just drowning in it yesterday, and I never want to feel that way again. If I slip up and drink, I’m right back where I was 3.5 years ago or worse- I would be in jail, in the hospital or dead.

So, why are you here? What keeps you an active “card carrying” member of this fine fellowship? Do you have reasons other than above or what are your thoughts on the reasons Dr. Bob noted- can you relate? I look forward to reading your shares and thank you for allowing me the privilege of serving. The meeting is now open……….

Birthday Announcement

Birthday Announcement

[ Name of Celebrant ] is celebrating [ Length of Sobriety ] of sobriety today!

Please send private greetings to her at: [ Celebrant’s Email Address ]

Congratulations, [ Name of Celebrant ], please feel free to share with us what it was like, what happened and what it is like today.

Birthday Request Letter

Just a reminder that we celebrate 30 days, and 3, 6, 9 and 18 months of sobriety.

And, of course, we also celebrate annual birthdays.

If you have a birthday in the month of June that you would like to have acknowledged by the group, please write to me privately at: [ Birthday Listkeeper’s email address ]. Please include your date of sobriety and I’ll be happy to make the announcement.

We LOVE sending out birthday greetings and we don’t want to miss yours!

Thanks.
[ Birthday Listkeeper’s Name ]
Birthday Listkeeper

FYI Letter

This is a revised Information Page for GROW. Please save this for your records and discard any old FAQ’s or FYI’s that you might have. Thank you very much.

[ Name of Secretary ]
GROW Secretary

Grateful Recovering Online Women [GROW]

GROW FYI Contents:

  1. Declaration of Unity
  2. List of Trusted Servants
  3. Important Group Addresses

Declaration of Unity
This we owe to AA’s future: To place our common welfare first; to keep our fellowship united. For on AA unity depend our lives, and the lives of those to come.

“It takes people to get group jobs done. Most of us agree that AA ought never be “organized.” However, without endangering our commitment to preserve our spiritual and democratic Fellowship, we can “create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

In AA groups, these trusted servants are called ‘officers’ and are usually chosen by the group for limited terms of service. As Tradition Two reminds us, Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”


List of Trusted Servants

Our Trusted Servants who serve the group:

  • Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Back-Up Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Greeter (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Birthday Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Weekly Leader Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • OIAA Rep. (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Secretary (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • 12 Step Volunteer Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Business Meeting Chair (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • GSR / OIAA back-up (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • *Treasurer (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • *Webkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • *Back-up Webkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]

*Steering Committee

  • Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Back-up Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Business Meeting Chair( (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • OIAA Rep. (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Secretary (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Sponsor Listkeeper (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Treasurer (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • GSR / OIAA back-up (beginning-ending month/year)
    Name [ email address ]
  • Immediate Past Chair/Secretary
    Name [ email address ]
  • Immediate Past GSR
    Name [ email address ]

Important Addresses
Listkeeper’s Address: [grow-owner@oso-aa.org]
(use this address to change things about your subscription, or to unsubscribe, resubscribe or ask questions about mail problems to the list).

To send shares to the List, use this address [grow@oso-aa.org ]
for all your shares or posts to the regular list of any sort.

In keeping with AA’s 11th Tradition and out of respect for anonymity, we do not:
1) include more than this mail list address on anything we post to the group; or
2) forward posts outside the list without getting permission from the original sender and deleting all identifying information; or
3) contact members on social media sites without their prior permission.

Note: Please do not post subscription change requests to the group at large, they are too easily overlooked.

Grapevine Letter

We are all invited to share on the Grapevine topic of the month.

This month’s topic is: [from aagrapevine.org/]. This month’s feature story in print is: [from aagrapevine.org/] – summary available online. This month’s online feature story is: [from aagrapevine.org/]. Note that in order to read entire article, one has to subscribe; however, there is usually one that is available to read in its entirety. I encourage you to share on this month’s Grapevine theme or feature story. When you do, please put “Grapevine Topic:” in the subject line of your message.

The Grapevine offers a Daily Quote which will be sent directly to your Inbox. You can sign up for it at aagrapevine.org/emails.

The Grapevine also offers you many service opportunities to share YOUR Experience, Strength and Hope either in print (story or artwork –aagrapevine.org/contribute) or audio – aagrapevine.org/audio-portal.

In addition, there are several contests to enjoy such as the photo contest (aagrapevine.org/photocontest) or caption contest (aagrapevine.org/content/submit-caption).

Please take this opportunity to enjoy AA’s “meeting in print”! And to discover all the other wonderful things Grapevine (aagrapevine.org/) has to offer!

With gratitude,
GROW GVR

Greeter Letter 1

Dear [ New Member Name ],

Thank you for inquiring about Grateful Recovering Online Women. We are a closed women’s group of Alcoholics Anonymous whose primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. If you have a problem with drinking, or think you have a problem with drinking, you are welcome at this meeting.

AA’s Third Tradition says: “The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.” As a closed meeting, we ask that you affirm your adherence to this tradition before we add your name to the meeting list.

We will be introducing you to our group. Please send a short paragraph about yourself when you reply with your adherence to the third tradition. I will include this in the introduction to the group so we can all get to know you.

We invite you to visit our web page to learn more about us, it can be found at www.g-r-o-w.com.

Thank you again for your inquiry and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

[ Greeter Name ]
Grateful Recovering Online Women

Greeter Letter 2

Welcome to GROW! This is one of two emails you will receive from me with the information you need to start participating in our meeting right away. You might want to save these for future reference.

Sharing with the Group

 Address your email to grow@oso-aa.organd your post will be sent to all members.

  • Do not add any other addresses to the email or it will bounce. This includes addresses in the ‘Cc or ‘Bcc address fields.

Address your share to ONLY the grow@oso-aa.org address. If another address is included (even if in the ‘Cc or ‘Bcc field) the email will bounce).  The list is set up to accept messages that are addressed to Grow only. The individual(s) you send messages in addition to GROW will probably receive the message; however, the Grow list will not.

  • Add grow@oso-aa.orgto your Address Book to ensure GROW emails don’t go to your SPAM folder.

 Replying to a Post

  • Do not use the “Reply to All” option when you respond privately to another member’s post to GROW, as your personal message will also be directed to the GROW list and it will bounce to the Listkeepers.
  • For those using phones and tablets, be aware that the default reply option is often “Reply to All.” Please double-check.

Email Volume
The volume of mail through the GROW list can be overwhelming. If you experience this, you might find it very helpful to choose one or more of the following:

  • Create a separate email address to reduce the confusion of mixing GROW mail with your other email. Email the Listkeepers at grow-owner@oso-aa.orgwith your new address. As an FYI, AOL and Yahoo addresses have been problematic for some members with the GROW list.
  • If you use an existing email for GROW, you might create folders for your GROW email; filters can also be set up to direct GROW mail into the GROW folder.
  • Request the Digest Version (a file containing the day’s posts in a single email) by contacting the Listkeepers at grow-owner@oso-aa.org.

Topics
A new meeting topic is sent to everyone on the list each Sunday and we share throughout the week. On topic and Off topic shares are welcome.

  • Off topic posts should be appropriate for an AA meeting. Please note in your subject line if your share is Off topic (Off Topic: … )
  • On topic posts are your shares on the weekly meeting topic. Please note in your subject line if your share is On topic (On Topic: … )
  • Please do not type in all CAPS; this is considered to be yelling.

Web Site and Password
Visit the GROW web site for more information. The URL for GROW is: http://www.g-r-o-w.com. For the members only section you’ll need the password: sobertodayhow2484

Other
If you have questions not answered by our website information, please write to me and I’ll be sure to answer them or send your questions to someone who can.

I hope Grateful Recovering Online Women is helpful to you in your journey and growth in sobriety.

Again, welcome
[ Greeter Name ]
Grateful Recovering Online Women

GROW Mail List Guidelines

GROW Guidelines for Email Participation

The following group guidelines are based on our experience with mail lists and our adherence to the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous (see Traditions in Cyberspace).

Sometimes, new members can be overwhelmed by the volume of e-mails coming through the list. If you experience this, you might find it helpful to create and use a separate email address to reduce the confusion of mixing GROW mail with your primary email address. There are many services that offer free e-mail (just search for “free e-mail accounts” on the web). Be sure to notify our Listkeeper at grow-owner@oso-aa.org if you change your address. You might also want to check out the Digest version containing the day’s posts in a single e-mail (contact our Listkeeper to get the Digest).

  • We do not engage in postings that disrupt our common welfare or distract us from our primary purpose (see Disruptions & Flaming).
  • We send personal messages such as; welcomes, hugs, thanks-you’s, pats-on-the-back, responses to prayer requests, and “enjoyed-your-share” comments privately — not to the group.
  • When responding publicly, we copy and paste only the pertinent parts of the share to which we are responding — not the entire share. This is especially important for those on digest.
  • We post both on and off topic. Please use the subject line to indicate *On*- or *Off*-topic, and if off-topic provide a subject (example — “Off-Topic: Prayer Request”).
  • We do not send attachments, chain letters, solicitations, virus alerts or announcements of non A.A. functions. We do not include links to sites outside GROW except links to the AA, Grapevine, and GROW websites. You can use URLs (e.g., http://www.aa.org/), but do not create a link that would automatically take the reader to that URL address. Some programs create links automatically, so if you need help with this, please contact a GROW Trusted Servant.
  • We direct all mail of a business nature to the business list. If you are not subscribed to the business list, please help us stay focused on our primary purpose by sending questions or concerns about how the group functions to a member of the Steering Committee.
  • We do not allow group postings of any copyrighted material for which permission to distribute has not been obtained from the copyright owner.
  • In keeping with AA’s 11th Tradition and out of respect for anonymity, we do not: 1) include more than this mail list address on anything we post to the group; or 2) forward posts outside the list without getting permission from the original sender and deleting all identifying information; or 3) contact members on social media sites without their prior permission.
  • By the same token, when we wish to forward something to the group, we include only the portions we want to share, deleting all identifying information, such as e-mail addresses, routing info, names, etc. Using copy and paste of the portion you wish to share works best.

Email courtesies:

  • All email programs are different, please set your line length to no more than 80 characters.
  • Short paragraphs with a space between are easier to read than long paragraphs with no breaks.
  • Email written in all CAPS is difficult to read and can be interpreted as shouting. To emphasize something, please use *asterisks* or _underscores_.

Introduction to Group

[ Message Subject Line: ] NEW MEMBER [ NAME ]

Hi Ladies,

Please welcome [ name ] to the group. Personal greetings can be sent to [ New member’s e-mail address ]. As an introduction, [ New Member Name ] wrote:

[ New member’s introductory statement ]

Your Greeter,
[ Greeter Name ]

Mailman Letter – Business List

Welcome to the Grow-business@oso-aa.org mailing list!

To post to this list, send your email to:
grow-business@oso-aa.org

General information about the mailing list is at:
http://lists.oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/grow-business

If you ever want to unsubscribe or change your options (eg, switch to or from digest mode, change your password, etc.), visit your subscription page at:

[ specific for each member ]

You can also make such adjustments via email by sending a message to:

grow-business-request@oso-aa.org

with the word ‘help’ in the subject or body (don’t include the quotes), and you will get back a message with instructions.

You must know your password to change your options (including changing the password, itself) or to unsubscribe. It is:

[ specific for each member ]

Normally, Mailman will remind you of your oso-aa.org mailing list passwords once every month, although you can disable this if you prefer. This reminder will also include instructions on how to unsubscribe or change your account options. There is also a button on your options page that will email your current password to you.

Mailman Letter – Regular List

Welcome to the GROW@oso-aa.org mailing list! This is a one-time automated response confirming your subscription. Please read and save this letter for future reference.


Addresses
Use this address for posting messages to the group: grow@oso-aa.org
Use this address to write to list keepers: grow-owner@oso-aa.org
(details below)


Please note: When sending a message to the GROW group, send it ONLY to: grow@oso-aa.org

If you address your message to more than GROW (in To:, Cc: or even Bcc:) your message will not post to the GROW list. This is to protect our anonymity.


You Can Edit Your User Options
You will find general information about the GROW mailing list at:
lists.oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/grow

If you ever want to unsubscribe or change your options (e.g., switch to or from digest mode, change your password, etc.), visit your subscription page at:
lists.oso-aa.org/mailman/options/grow

You can also ask the list keepers to make these changes by sending an email to: GROW-request@oso-aa.org with the word HELP in the subject or body. You will get back a message with instructions.

Password: To change your options (including changing your password) you must know your password. It appears near the bottom of this message.


What If You Forget Your Password?
If you forget your password, send a message to:
grow-request@oso-aa.org and type only the word password in the body of the message. Normally, Mailman will remind you of your oso-aa.org mailing list passwords once every month, although you can disable this if you prefer. This reminder will also include instructions on how to unsubscribe or change your account options. There is also a button on your options page that will email your current password to you.


Where To Find Other Helpful Information
You will find our Guiding Philosophy and Guide for E-mail participation and other helpful information on our website: http://www.g-r-o-w.com

Click on “For Members

Password: sobertodayhow2484


What Happens Next?
A GROW member will be writing to you soon to welcome you and to provide you with more detailed information regarding the format and topic of this week’s A.A. meeting.

To post to this list, send your email to:
grow@oso-aa.org

General information about the mailing list is at:
lists.oso-aa.org/mailman/listinfo/grow

If you ever want to unsubscribe or change your options (eg, switch to or from digest mode, change your password, etc.), visit your subscription page at:
lists.oso-aa.org/mailman/options/grow/

You can also make such adjustments via email by sending a message to:
GROW-request@oso-aa.org

with the word `help’ in the subject or body (don’t include the quotes), and you will get back a message with instructions.

You must know your password to change your options (including changing the password, itself) or to unsubscribe. It is:
[ specific for member ]

Normally, Mailman will remind you of your oso-aa.org mailing list passwords once every month, although you can disable this if you prefer. This reminder will also include instructions on how to unsubscribe or change your account options. There is also a button on your options page that will email your current password to you.

Monthly Step Letters

Monthly Step Meeting Letter Templates

Below is a list of letter templates for the monthly step meeting.

 

Monthly Tradition Letters

January: Tradition 1
February: Tradition 2
March: Tradition 3
April: Tradition 4
May: Tradition 5
June: Tradition 6
July: Tradition 7
August: Tradition 8
September: Tradition 9
October: Tradition 10
November: Tradition 11
December: Tradition 12

*****
*****

January: Tradition 1

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 1.  The Traditions are what guide most AA groups. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 1 ***

“Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

February: Tradition 2

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 2. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 2 ***

“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

March: Tradition 3

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 3. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 3 ***

“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provide that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

April: Tradition 4

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 2. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 4 ***

“Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or A.A. as a whole.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A. as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board. On such issues our common welfare is paramount.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

May: Tradition 5

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 5. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 5 ***

“Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose – that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

June: Tradition 6

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 6. The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 6 ***

“An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Problems of money, property, and authority may easily divert us from our primary spiritual aim. We think, therefore, that any considerable property of genuine use to A.A. should be separately incorporated and managed, thus dividing the material from the spiritual. An A.A. group, as such, should never go into business. Secondary aids to A.A., such as clubs or hospitals which require much property or administration, ought to be incorporated and so set apart that, if necessary, they can be freely discarded by the groups. Hence such facilities ought not to use the A.A. name. Their management should be the sole responsibility of those people who financially support them. For clubs, A.A. managers are usually preferred. But hospitals, as well as other places of recuperation, ought to be well outside A.A. — and medically supervised. While an A.A. group may cooperate with anyone, such cooperation ought never go so far as affiliation or endorsement, actual or implied. An A.A. group can bind itself to no one.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

July: Tradition 7

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 7.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 7 ***

“Every AA Group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Then too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds with no stated A.A. purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

August: Tradition 8

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 8.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 8 ***

“Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Alcoholics Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional. We define professionalism as the occupation of counseling alcoholics for fees or hire. But we may employ alcoholics where they are going to perform those services for which we might otherwise have to engage nonalcoholics. Such special services may be well recompensed. But our usual A.A. ’12 Step’ work is never to be paid for.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

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*****

September: Tradition 9

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 9.  The Traditions certainly inform our

*** Tradition 9 ***

“AA., as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Each A.A. group needs the least possible organization. Rotating leadership is the best. The small group may elect its secretary, the large group its rotating committee, and the groups of a large metropolitan area their central or intergroup committee, which often employs a full-time secretary. The trustees of the General Service Board are, in effect, our A.A. General Service Committee. They are the custodians of our A.A. Tradition and the receivers of voluntary A.A. contributions by which we maintain our A.A. General Service Office at New York. They are authorized by the groups to handle our over-all public relations and they guarantee the integrity of our principle newspaper, the A.A. Grapevine. All such representatives are to be guided in the spirit of service, for true leaders in A.A. are but trusted and experienced servants of the whole. They derive no real authority from their titles; they do not govern. Universal respect is the key to their usefulness.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

October: Tradition 10

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 10.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 10 ***

“Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues–particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

November: Tradition 11

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 11.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 11 ***

“Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

*****
*****

December: Tradition 12

We are all invited to share, at any time this month, on Tradition 12.  The Traditions certainly inform our group conscience decisions and the original structure for GROW. We look forward to your shares.

*** Tradition 12 ***

“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”

This Tradition is listed in one of the appendices in the book Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 562). There is a little more in The Long Form, which starts on p. 563, which has more about some of the Traditions, and lists them all together:

“And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This is to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.”

There is more about it in the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

These books may be found at many f2f AA meetings, ordered online from many places, and available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org

 

New Trusted Servant Letter

Dear [ Name of New Trusted Servant ],

Thank you for volunteering for the position of [ Trusted Servant Position ].

You are replacing [name of past trusted servant] in this position. She will send you any up-to-date lists and/or letter templates you will need to fulfill your duties. She will also mentor you as you transition into your new job. Her email address is [email address of past trusted servant]. If you have not heard from her, we encourage you to contact her now.

Please review your job description immediately. Each job description has been established by group conscience. If your job requires making periodic announcements to the group, please do so as outlined in your job description. Letters/announcements are also a matter of group conscience, developed to ensure a consistent message to all GROW members. Other than including your own name and contact information where appropriate, please do not change the text of the message.

If you have not yet received information from the outgoing [ Trusted Servant Position ], you can access your job description and any letter templates needed for your job on the GROW website.

Trusted Servant job descriptions are described here. (Link to relevant job description)

List of Trusted Servant letter templates are here. (Link to relevant job description)

Sometimes a job can feel a little scary. If you have *any* questions, please ask. Along with your mentor, the Steering Committee is here to answer questions and support you in your service to GROW. As GROW Secretary, I am the primary contact for trusted servants. You are also welcome to email any one of the Steering Committee members listed at the end of this email.

If you find yourself unable to fulfill your obligations, temporarily or otherwise, please let me or another Steering Committee member know immediately. We will ensure that your tasks are carried out in your absence.

Again, thank you for your service to GROW. Service work is important to individual recovery, and it is essential to the well-being of our group. We hope you find serving GROW to be a rewarding experience.

Trusted Servant Common Duties

The following describes duties that are common expectations for all Trusted Servants:

  • Must be a member of Business List
  • Smooth and uninterrupted volunteer service to GROW depends upon your ability to carry out your commitments. If a Trusted Servant finds that she cannot meet all the duties listed in her Job Description, she will inform the Secretary and/or Business Meeting Chair that she is unable to fulfill her responsibilities. Working with the Trusted Servant and the Steering Committee, the Secretary and/or Business Chair will then seek alternatives for assuring all duties are covered (including securing a temporary back-up or advertising the position on the main list). If a member of the Steering Committee is concerned that not all items in a job description are being met, she may bring her concern to Secretary and/or Business Meeting Chair, who will work with the Trusted Servant to assure their duties are covered.
  • Must be able to reply to business and steering committee email within 48 hours. If unable to do so, should inform the steering committee in advance, or in the case of a computer related problem, make every effort to telephone another group member who can let the Steering Committee know.
  • Lack of response to business, steering committee, or direct personal email by another trusted servant for a period of seven consecutive days will be reason for a temporary replacement chosen by the steering committee.
  • Lack of response to business, steering committee, or direct personal email by another trusted servant for a period of fourteen consecutive days will be reason for temporary replacement by steering committee until a permanent replacement can be chosen by the next business meeting.
  • Provide successor with all necessary information, including job guidelines and letter templates, and serve as a mentor for a period of time to ensure continuity of service.
  • Be able to cut, copy, paste, and save to a folder.